There's something surreal about cutting. I'm messaging a friend and my left arm is bleeding, not much but just enough. I got out what I had to get out and feel better for it. I haven't felt the need to cut in 15 years but there's been too much, too soon the past few weeks. Too little money, too many bills, traffic citations, messed up cheque this morning from work that was short $400, a change in co-pay on Avodart from $30 something to $150 with the new insurance. It all built up and I had to let it out somehow or I was going to explode and do something worse but I'm OK now. I just need some rest. I'm very tired. Insomnia sucks. Stress sucks.
Christ I hate sounding like a drama queen but I'm thousands of miles away from my close friends and it's too late for them to just talk to me. I'm not suicidal, just depressed and alone.
I hope you can hang in there. I've never cut myself, but I tried to blind myself which thankfully I failed. I'm really glad I didn't end up blind for the rest of my life. I see blind people and see the life they have to deal with, but they survive amazingly. I always close my eyes and try to imaging blindness and thank God my sight wasn't taken from me. We hit hard times and it hurts , but miraculously we do survived.
You're never alone. If you want to talk to someone about it, you can PM me at any time. I've helped people stop cutting before, countless times. It's usually something that can be talked out. I stay a little busy during normal daytime hours because of my job, but I do have the luxury of using my phone at work, so I'll get back to you as quickly as I possibly can.
Yes, stress sucks, trust me I know
I can feel your pain, please do not harm yourself
Something will work out, we just have to take it step by step
I'm sorry you have so much going on right now. Please be safe and take good care of your cuts.
Hugs, Adrian
My ear is yours as well, PM anytime. I've spent over 30 years using, and worked in drug treatment for many years, so I am not without some skills, and can be lent to you anytime. Dani
My day has been a disaster as well, as soon as I can I am going to post it up, maybe in a few minutes.
Trigger warnings are hard to keep from effecting our day to day.
Finding a constructive outlet needs to be that took in our tool box.
No smoke and mirrors will make it go away.
We tend to get relief in things but in what means or damage.
I am living now 10 years with PTSD for one lapse in judgement.
Reach out like you are doing now with me in Skype, call crisis line or hospital.
Hugs
Hugs Honey, keep talking to your friends here, we all know how this horrible life can impact at times - even out of the blue. We do understand, we are here.
Hugs young lady
Thank you all. I'm better, just drained. It's an emotional release so I'm kind of numb now. Mrs. Izzy and I have been texting via Skype for a bit. I'm going to take my sleep med and sleep this day away and hopefully feel better tomorrow.
Hugs