Today as I was leaving the store and walking to my car two males came up behind me and started asking me for money. "Got a spare dollar, miss? Can I get some money, ma'am?"
They became louder and more strident as I walked, picking up my pace a little as my car got closer. When I realised they were intent on following me to my car I pulled out my keys which are attached to a heavy steel kubotan.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kubotan
That stopped them and I continued on my way but it was an unpleasant experience and I realised that there is no way I would have been able to defend myself vs. two men like I would have before. A lot of the martial arts I know probably wouldn't work for me now so I would have to go with just fighting dirty and being as vicious as possible, screaming for help as I did. Good thing I shop in the morning as things might have gone differently had it been night.
It's sad we have to deal with this crap, sometimes it seems society will never make it to the promised land.
I mean I carry (a firearm) but I would hate to have to use it. Especially in NJ where I am lucky to be able to carry at all and some vicious prosecutor will waste no time throwing me in jail for lighting up some poor "yoot." I also took the kubotan class but I believe it's prohibited in some places. So I use a tactical pen instead. And I have pepper spray.
I am very scared of this exact situation. Being harassed and potentially having to fight your way out. I carry pepper spray and have a permanent angry look on my face as defense. I've yet to have to resort to anything and hopes I or anyone else has to.
Who's to say you can't defend yourself? Just because you don't have muscle mass doesn't mean you can't learn how to keep yourself alive; I would never dream of carrying (personally, I find guns deplorable-too easy to kill someone or yourself by accident, and too hard to defend against), but there are a number of other useful things you can learn. Hapkido is great if you want to learn how to handle yourself without having to exert too much strength; and I agree that pepper spray is a great tool, especially if you can use it in conjunction with other techniques. Take a self defence course; it won't turn you into batman overnight, but it'll teach you enough to be able to handle yourself if you ever end up in a really bad situation. Remember, you aren't actually trying to take these guys on-just hold your own for long enough to get away or get help.
Well happens in our paths journey sometimes.
We go from being taken advantage or discriminated by as Trans* person.
To being taken advantage of as a women or in the eyes of some the weaker of the sexes.
Everyone has to be vigilant no matter where you are in the spectrum.
Survival has to be in your control.
I would suggest taking a self defence class designed for women.
Kudos on having the kubotan
Very distressing, both personally, and the fact that we live in a world that threatening behavior and crime exists... It's even worse when the target of the criminaly minded is single people and especially women.
I am so glad that you are safe after such a terrifying experience.
And we'll done for making them change their minds
Hugs
Katy :-*
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on February 15, 2015, 02:41:07 PM
Who's to say you can't defend yourself? Just because you don't have muscle mass doesn't mean you can't learn how to keep yourself alive; I would never dream of carrying (personally, I find guns deplorable-too easy to kill someone or yourself by accident, and too hard to defend against), but there are a number of other useful things you can learn. Hapkido is great if you want to learn how to handle yourself without having to exert too much strength; and I agree that pepper spray is a great tool, especially if you can use it in conjunction with other techniques. Take a self defence course; it won't turn you into batman overnight, but it'll teach you enough to be able to handle yourself if you ever end up in a really bad situation. Remember, you aren't actually trying to take these guys on-just hold your own for long enough to get away or get help.
I've had years of martial arts training, as I noted - most recently Aikido and Krav Maga but have not been training to adjust to my new reality/body. Gun laws are very liberal in Alaska (probably the only thing liberal about the state) so I can carry without a CCW and am very practiced and skilled with them so I may start to conceal carry when I go out. I don't particularly want to but I want to be a statistic even less.
It was just nerve wracking. I know. as a male, had I walked off and said nothing they would have turned and walked away and that would have been it.
I usually have some sort of a weapon on me. I carry a fighting knife most of the time, and there's always a tire iron in my car. I was banned from a pizza place back home after I pulled a knife on a guy who went for my throat in a fight.
What can I say? I'm a bad girl at heart :D
Quote from: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 04:22:19 PM
I usually have some sort of a weapon on me. I carry a fighting knife most of the time, and there's always a tire iron in my car. I was banned from a pizza place back home after I pulled a knife on a guy who went for my throat in a fight.
What can I say? I'm a bad girl at heart :D
I used to carry one all the time since one of the styles I learned is knife fighting (been taking classes in various things since I was nine) but haven't researched the law in Alaska to see if my particular carry knife is legal here.
I guess this is the world we live in: we need to have something on us at all times for protection. Tasers are generally good but are single use only for civilian models. Pepper spray works but I made the mistake of not checking the wind once and got a face full myself. ;D
I have training in Kenpo, and I had to use my training once , several years before I transitioned, so I know that it is an effective method of self protection, but I haven't trained since I transitioned in 2007, so I would have to rely heavily on muscle memory, and I don't have faith in my present ability to defend myself against a male attacker, without the aid of a weapon of some sort.
can't carry any form of weaponry in Australia so I am starting self defense training again as soon as I can afford it ...pressure points are a great way to take someone down if you can get to them but it is getting to them that is the issue I'm not as fit or as quick as I used to be lmao. Touch wood I have only had one instance of a near violent incident and that was with an old friend who was drunk in the city (at 10 in the morning) but I'm not sure if it was because he recognized me or if it was because I told him he should go home and sleep it off.
I lived in the Yukon for 15 years .
I can attest that northerners they know guns
I myself would love to train muay Thai to take advantage of
My long legs. Or after my srs recovery I could also join tje
Canadian military and just learn to dummy up idiots very quickly
Nothing beats military hand to hand combat and the discipline
First thing I'm going for is the twig and berries. Once I have things well in hand they'll be less inclined to trouble me. ;D
Sadly there are a lot of drunks and vagrants in Anchorage. Pretty much every intersection has a panhandler and they gather in packs in certain parking lots, like the Walmart closest to me. I was at Fred Meyer this morning which is slightly more expensive but there were five out them outside the door and those two just came after me.
Everyone sounds so much more prepared than I! My lifestyle up until now has been such that physical or even verbal confrontations have never happened (outside my home). And I'm very pacifist by my nature.. Not sure how I'd handle an attack.. :-\
Wynter I am glad you're doing ok.
Luckily, I have not been harassed or been subjected to this kind of treatment. Makes me think maybe my height of 5'6" keeps them away as I am pretty tall of a woman (maybe not) :-/
Sigh, why can't we live in a world where we just love love love.
Hugs Wynter - sending all the good vibes.
I grew up in the NYC metropolis area. Creeps abound wherever you are. You tend to develop a sense for "Bad" areas and things not to do. Like walking like they aren't there and not into the closest place of business. When I am in a car driving and have to deal with nutz, always have an idea where the nearest Police station is (Hint - Light Blue sign saying Police with an arrow). Amazing how fast you loose a "friend" pulling into the parking lot.
For if/when all else fails Big Mace or Bear Spray. No.. Not the cute little pink one that sprays for 2 seconds only 10 feet. The "I Mean Business" sized one, for the times you are scared to crap and are shaking like crazy and are lucky to hit the broad side of a barn within 2 Seconds mace.
For sure, I would not suggest a firearm. Most people think it will "Scare" them off. WRONG. Unless you know in your heart of hearts you can pull that trigger and KILL them Dead (as in blood splattering all over you in the process) on the first shot, please, don't even even consider carrying. (This also implies a LOT of time at the range practicing)
Pepper spray is nice but ineffective against some individuals who use certain narcotics. Mace is also ineffective against those people.
In NJ they restrict you to one container with 0.75 oz. Bear spray, eh that's kinda bulky even if it were legal.
This happened a few months before I started to transition, but it reminds me all the time why I don't go out after dark. Since I live nearby the grocery store (about a 10 min walk) I often walk to and from it and one evening around 8pm I was approached as I entered the parking lot from the west and this guy asked for a sweater or something which I thought was odd and weird all at the same time. I had never seen him before and why he asked me I will never know but anyway. While I was in the store picking up a few items I had purposely made plans to go the opposite direction and go the long way home knowing he was likely still out their. Sure enough he was waiting outside the exit for me to leave. I decided to continue with my plan and went that direction only this time he tried approaching on this bicycle that was clearly a child's bike and to small for him. He then proceeded on the bike to get a slight distance ahead of me and it was clear he was going to wait for me on the street on which I needed to turn on. Seeing this way ahead of time I crossed to the opposite side of the street and proceeded to take my cell phone out. My only defenses considering I never really had strength were being able to run, my smarts and being able to call 911 if necessary. I kept my phone out in plane site and on so he could clearly see I could use it at any time if needed and as I go closer to that street I proceeded to run. Instead of crossing back over and using the street I needed I went down and under the tracks on the street that goes up to canal street instead, which I hadn't used this section of before. While I was doing that he was met up with by a vehicle in the parking lot at the gas station on the South side of the tracks. Anyway once I reached canal street I continued to run West looking back every so often to see if I was being followed still which as far as I could tell I wasn't but I didn't slow down to find out either for a little bit. I knew when I hit the next intersection that I needed I had 3 options if they decided to follow some more. One was pass it and cross the street and head to the Juvenile justice center and let them know I'm being followed. Another was enter one of the gas stations on the far side of the street and call from their. The last being go up on the far side of the street I needed and head to the next grocery store and proceed to lose them in their. Considering I didn't see any continued pursuit I went up the street on the side I needed and instead of just crossing and staying on the sidewalk along the fence line of the school I went up to the entry way they had to the school yard and stayed in the lighted area tell it met up with the track and used the track up against the school and left at the point it met the front parking lot and stayed near the building where the lights were tell I had to merge back with the street. I crossed and ran like a bat out of nowhere to finish the final couple of blocks to my house making sure I had my key in hand and ready to use when I reached my house locking the door behind me. I'm glad your alright and what the item you had on you to keep yourself safe, but as others have said a women's self defense course would be of great help to you and the rest of us for that matter.
Mariah
My phone is an HTC one X
Would really not be the ahole who gets punched in
The throat with it
But over all I think becssie I been in more fights than any human
Alive I tend tk be one tough scary chick
To date I have had these bones broken
Left eye socket
Nose 3x
Jaw cracked
Ribs to many to count
Both wrists at once
Right ankle
Left foot martatusals which just got smashed two months ago
I walked on my broken foot until it healed
When I tell a guy to move and he looks in my emotionless eyes
They get the #%&? Out if my way
There is nothing you can do to me to make me hurt anymore
I carry pepper spray all the time and have background in Kyokushinkai, Taijiquan (Chen) and Xingyiquan (more than two decades). Pre-transition there were couple of cases when I interfered into ongoing streetcrimes (three guys in their very early 20-ties) taking on one drunk and looked angry and mean enough to scare them off. I had fights with several people who were intended to take me down and 4 guys could not pin me... I was also able to deal with two average dudes with minimal training with getting myself punched once or twice.
So, a couple of months ago I asked my best male friend to do some friendly spar and we agreed that I wont do any dirty fighting, like kicking him in balls, shin-kicking or trying to get my elbow into contact with his jaw. So, my options were somehow restricted and he has some decent background in grappling. As soon as he was able to break the distance, he grabbed my arms and it was over very quickly with him pinning me down on the floor. We both agreed though that while he was going for that grab, I had plenty of options to unleash some pain onto him, but we agreed beforehands not to. So... my conclusions were that two guys would now be a serious problem unless I am able to deal with one of them very quickly (pepper spray?) and if I can, I should not try my chances to get into hand-to-hand combat even with one male assailant, cause his level of aggression will be much higher due to testosterone advantage, plus he will have extra strenght and psychological advantage (the last one if quite an interesting point, cause my friend admitted that he did not considered me a serious threat anymore and was actually holding himself a bit, whereas for me, as soon as he was literally in my face, he suddenly looked much larger and scarier then he used to be... and I used to give him some HtH lessons like 5-6 years ago...).
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on February 16, 2015, 03:48:23 AM
I carry pepper spray all the time and have background in Kyokushinkai, Taijiquan (Chen) and Xingyiquan (more than two decades). Pre-transition there were couple of cases when I interfered into ongoing streetcrimes (three guys in their very early 20-ties) taking on one drunk and looked angry and mean enough to scare them off. I had fights with several people who were intended to take me down and 4 guys could not pin me... I was also able to deal with two average dudes with minimal training with getting myself punched once or twice.
So, a couple of months ago I asked my best male friend to do some friendly spar and we agreed that I wont do any dirty fighting, like kicking him in balls, shin-kicking or trying to get my elbow into contact with his jaw. So, my options were somehow restricted and he has some decent background in grappling. As soon as he was able to break the distance, he grabbed my arms and it was over very quickly with him pinning me down on the floor. We both agreed though that while he was going for that grab, I had plenty of options to unleash some pain onto him, but we agreed beforehands not to. So... my conclusions were that two guys would now be a serious problem unless I am able to deal with one of them very quickly (pepper spray?) and if I can, I should not try my chances to get into hand-to-hand combat even with one male assailant, cause his level of aggression will be much higher due to testosterone advantage, plus he will have extra strenght and psychological advantage (the last one if quite an interesting point, cause my friend admitted that he did not considered me a serious threat anymore and was actually holding himself a bit, whereas for me, as soon as he was literally in my face, he suddenly looked much larger and scarier then he used to be... and I used to give him some HtH lessons like 5-6 years ago...).
With Krav Maga I try to control the distance, even more so now because I know if I ever had to grapple or deal with a take down or pin that I am in deep trouble. I would have no choice but to be a dirty and vicious as possible but I sincerely hope it never gets to that point. I have never initiated violence in my life save for the one time I defended my little brother. I always try to walk away or avoid situations that could get bad. I don't go to clubs or bars, I don't walk alone at night but now that I'm pretty much male fail 98% of the time I know I have to be as careful as any other woman when it comes to men.
As for carrying a handgun, I've had tactical training and tons of range time. I've been shot at twice (I worked law enforcement) and returned fire once so I have no doubt that if I had to, I could pull the trigger. But again, I hope I never have to. I just need to keep up my situational awareness now, more than ever.
I don't know what I would have done in that instance. I've never been in a confrontation, fight or even hit in my life. If I had to, guess Id have to resort to a lot of scratching. Where I live, it is not legal to carry a gun or pepper spray.
That's awful to feel so vulnerable and scared. Im soo sorry to hear!
I would definitely conceal carry if I was living in the US. You have a right not to be threatened or intimidated.
Is terrible people need to arm themselves for protection but like you say rather be safe than a statistic...knowing my luck I would be one of the statistics that manages to shoot themselves in the foot or something :D
All seriousness though, there is only so much martial arts can do, especially if the assailant is bigger and stronger than you.
I like the smith and wesson mp shield that would stop any hoodlum in their tracks.
Quote from: Wynternight on February 16, 2015, 04:15:22 AM
With Krav Maga I try to control the distance, even more so now because I know if I ever had to grapple or deal with a take down or pin that I am in deep trouble. I would have no choice but to be a dirty and vicious as possible but I sincerely hope it never gets to that point. I have never initiated violence in my life save for the one time I defended my little brother. I always try to walk away or avoid situations that could get bad. I don't go to clubs or bars, I don't walk alone at night but now that I'm pretty much male fail 98% of the time I know I have to be as careful as any other woman when it comes to men.
As for carrying a handgun, I've had tactical training and tons of range time. I've been shot at twice (I worked law enforcement) and returned fire once so I have no doubt that if I had to, I could pull the trigger. But again, I hope I never have to. I just need to keep up my situational awareness now, more than ever.
Ironically, but with Xingyi my experience always was that I needed to get into close distance ASAP, because Xingyi is very brutal there (think of Wing Tsun, although with slightly different body mechanics). And I was not afraid of being grappled cause I could always shake it off, but now it is more tricky - I can still unleash a world of pain if I get close enough (simultaneously kicking shins and inner tighs, downward punching genitals, switching upwards to solar, throat, face (nose, eyes, jaws), headbutting, but those are really extremes which I would rather avoid, besides I would need to be aware of not getting caught and pinned down. On the other hand, they say that usually an attack against a man starts with a punch, whereas an attack against a woman starts with a grab. At least, I wont get punched first :D.