How to best reveal that I'm actually a man.
I don't think its good to keep secret if I want to have good friendship. Sooner or later they will find out anyway.
Right know I know a girl which I think we can be a good friend and maybe latter on I can approach her for dating/relationship.
Did you find a solution?
I'm in the same boat. Are you talking to her online?
Is there a reason why they would find out later? If not, ask yourself, why do they have to know? In a non intimate relationship, what you do or don't have isn't going to effect the friendship. I do think that if after a few dates, you think it might get serious, then there is a need to know. By waiting to tell, they have a chance to get to know you as a woman, and by the time you tell them, they are thinking of you you as a woman, not a transgender.
There is a fine line between when to tell someone. You don't want to get so emotionally invested in the relationship that it would kill you if they couldn't handle the truth. Telling them right away though, gives them no chance to ever see you as a woman first and a transgender second. For some people, that is just too much.
Telling someone is a very personal decision. Some would consider not telling all their friends a betrayal by omission, while others feel that there is no reason to tell them. If you are considering dating the person later on, the you will have to tell them at some point. The more people you tell, the more likely it is that you will be outed before you are ready. Lets face it, for a large portion of society, transgenders are good gossip and not something people see every day (actually they may and just don't know it).
Follow your heart and your morals.
sam1234
I'm gonna go ahead and assume that you mean "male assigned at birth" because otherwise you're in the wrong sub-forum lad.
yes, I'm male assigned at birth.
QuoteIs there a reason why they would find out later?
Easily, if they saw my ID or stumble with my old pic or met with my other circle of people. The circle of people who assume me as a woman is much smaller and relatively recent, its only this past few years that my appearance is change significantly.
It can be worse if they have to know it from accident or have to know it from other people, rather than I tell them myself.
I don't have any issue whether they want to know me as woman or man or whatever.
QuoteBy waiting to tell, they have a chance to get to know you as a woman, and by the time you tell them, they are thinking of you you as a woman, not a transgender.
This also could be an issue, they think of me as another girl-friend(which I think they already are) to to point there is little chance for me to date them.
My heart say I have to tell but what is the best way to tell to minimize the damage(if any).
Hey there Bing its been a while, oddly I was thinking about you last week.
Its tough... if you wait too long they feel betrayed, if you don't....
not easy, your emotions will go wild on you dear. Its one of the hard parts of being us and living maybe stealth. I dont live stealth. Except around the bigotted forks, then I go stealth as a guy, so they dont ask questions, and less and less now, I usually present genderqueer socially. Which is a trip....
How have you been? You really are nonbinary by the way.... IMO...
And they might know?
Hiding stuff till later can be wild. Others may have better advice, I stayed married, so I dunno, but when I dated my wife, I told her early I was trans. The mistake I made was trying to purge out of that. Oh my did that cost me....
Blessings
Satin Joy
Came out today, super awkward, she said she is fine but shocked.