I had the most wonderful day, yesterday.
Was looking in the mirror after shaving and got the craziest idea.
So first I put on a little foundation on my face and neck.
Some blush on my cheeks and than I took a pencil and darken my eyebrows.
My eyelashes are already dark and long so I left them alone.
I put on some lipstick and a set of fake nails; my nails are still too short.
After putting a little padding, a white pullover, a pink sweater, my white ladies jeans, teen shoes, a pair of small gold earrings, my wife's light weight winter coat and a light blue stocking hat I got into the car and headed for the mall. When I got to the mall I grabbed my purse, which I had put my wallet and other things, and walked into. At that moment I almost had a panic attack, but I was so determined to wall around the mall a couple of time no matter what anyone might think. I know how to talk, walk and act like a woman, I grew up with two sisters.
After ten minutes of walking without looking at anyone and my head down, I began to peek at people I was passing. No one seemed to notice me. I got a little braver and began looking at people as I pass them, they would glance at me and than look away just like they always do when I'm dressed as a man. Then my nose started to run. I had forgot to put an tissue in my purse so head for the bathrooms. I knew I couldn't go into the men's so hurried into the woman's and pass a couple of ladies and got into a stall. Took care of my problem and than I when the bathroom sounded empty went to a mirror to check my makeup. Two women came in looked at me as the passed by and went into a couple of stalls without giving me a second glance.
I was in heaven. :icon_joy:
I realized that I was being accepted as the woman I am. Finally I could be my true self; a woman, in her environment, shopping in a mall.
After that I held my head up, smile at the children waiting for Santa, look everyone in the face and for the next two hours I walked and shopped in the stores.
I checked out the ladies dresses at Sears, shoes at Payless, and some bras and makeup at the Target store.
Not wanting this to end I went to Myers and shopped for a gift for my SO. She loves cloths and jewelry. But I had one small problem. I realized I couldn't use my credit card, my name and ID would be wrong.
Anyway it was a great day and I will do it again. Next time I will have more cash in my purse.
I hope this will encourage someone.
;D
Jillieann
Good for you Jillieann,
I'm sure you had a wonderful time. You could use your credit card though. Women use their husbands credit cards all the time. Why would thay assume you to be different. They probably wouldn't have even asked to see your ID as long as the card is signed on the back. Try it next time. If they ask for your ID don't sweat it. Before I got my new name and DL I had occasion to have to show my ID. No one ever gave me a problem. I'd even make a joke about the picture.. I know it sounds scary to do that but it's scary going out in public the first time too. And now you've done that and are ready to go again.
You ought to make an appointment to have your nails done when you go out again. That is a lot of fun. It's a whole new ballgame once you've been out in public. Be careful though some folks can be cruel if they make you. If someone does just keep your cool and ignore them if possible.
I'm really happy for you that you got up the courage to do it and had such a good time.
Cassie
Cassandra,
It is a scary but exciting new world out there for me and I'm glad you are here to help.
I do see life as a adventure. And thanks for the warning.
Our own attuides are what make us or break us. When I was at the mall I new who I was and ever one say the real woman inside.
Okay next time I will use the credit card and see what happens.
I also like your idea of getting my nails done. They really could use some professional care after all the years of neglect.
Thanks for your advise.
Huggs.
Hey there.
It is a great feeling going out like that isn't it. You experienced many of the feelings that we all did we we made out first forays into the wild :) The mall is definitely one of the best locations for your first time out. and especially at this time of year. Many people are preoccupied with shopping to even worry about who is walking passed them. In the crush of people many are more concerned on getting in and getting out.
One thing on malls be careful not to put yourself into a position where you are the only person in certain areas and the only person for people to look at. For example coming down an escalator by yourself is like making a grand entrance and all eye's will be on you. It doesn't happen all the time but just a little tip to keep in the back of your mind. Busy is best until you become more confident. Hopefully your next time out will be as enjoyable as this one.
Chat later,
Steph
Glad to hear that you had a good experience on your trip out. It is important that you dressed to fit in. The other day my wife and I were at a large mall. Of the thousands of people we passed, I noticed exactly seven women wearing skirts or dresses (at least I think they were women--either that or they passed really well). Most people wear jeans to the mall--particularly this time of the year. Here in the Kansas City area we have had cool weather and several inches of snow on the ground.
The first time I went out in public dressed en femme I had a similar experience. It was summer and I visited an art museum and walked around the Country Club Plaza in KC. It was an experience I will never forget as I am sure yours will be.
Wonderful!! This is my goal for next year, I am going to work and work and try to make it by the summer or so ;D I'm so happy for you!
Wow Jillieann ,
You have done something I have not done yet. That deserves a big hug. I am glad it went off so well. That gives inspiration to me, even though many love my look, my own shyness keeps me from trying.
Even in the bathroom, wow. Only time I have been in those are when I clean the women's bathroom at our store lol. Thats far beyond what I would imagine.
Very nice Jill.
Yes if I try it it will be with my newest clothes I got from Jo, my new 3 piece pants suit. Pictured bellow.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.geocities.com%2Fwickham_kendra%2Fth_2005_1217Image0010.JPG&hash=33b55b70d702b2a9c1d7f6c2043b239d920a41e3) (http://www.geocities.com/wickham_kendra)
As soon as I feel a degree of comfort with this new clothing, a good real makeup style, and my new hair style with it, I may venture as well like you.
Kendra, Alleigh
Thank you. I know you can do it too. The big thing is to believe in yourself.
It was a wonderful experince for me and yes I was nerves.
Next time i'm going to eat out.
Thank you Louise for your helpful comments and encouragement.
:)
Jillieann
QuoteNext time i'm going to eat out.
Just a quick tip. Don't order spaghetti. Penne Pastas are okay. No finger foods. i.e. fried chicken. Hot dogs etc. When eating out a lady must be concious of how she will appear when eating. Most folks don't really think about it but there is a big difference in the way men eat and what they eat and how and what a woman eats in public. I am sure some here may disagree and maybe it's just me but I don't like for people to see me eat so when I'm out I'm very picky about what I order.
Cassie
Quote from: Cassandra on December 24, 2005, 12:43:03 PM
No finger foods. i.e. fried chicken. Hot dogs etc.
The prohibition on hotdogs is fine with me. Nothing that shape made of meat, is going to pass my lips.
Just a thought Leigh if your not supposed to eat animals how come they taste like meat LOL.
I saw this on a bumper sticker at a rodeo.
Shelley
Those that aren't into all that runny/gummy stuff makup often like to sit down to a sloppy pile of BBQ ribs. To bad you have to miss the good times
hehehehehehehehhh
Terri
Oh Contrare, Mon Ami,
You have forgotten take out. ;D
Cassie
Really Melissa,
I woouldn't have known.
uh, Cassie? You mean like take it out of your plate with bare hands, cram it in your mouth and chomp like you like it and simply use a napkin to clean up the mess until you can wash your hands and face?
Terri
Thanks ladies for sharing some of the finer points of eating out.
I will take them into consideration when I dine out. Don't want to messup my makup.
:)
Jillieann
Hi everyone, ;D
I went out this evening all dressed up on another adventure. With two objectives in mind one was trying on some cloths. Wanted to know where the clerk would send me. Boys or girls room?
Two was to have dinner out.
I found a nice long black velvet skirt at Wal-Mart and I just had to try it on. The sale woman sent me to the woman's dressing room. :o
I did buy some new shoes size 10 1/2 black with 2 inch heels; fit perfect and I'm still wearing them.
I talk to allot of sales people at the mall. I have a very feminine voice that I used.
Then I went to Ruby Tuesdays and had dinner. Not a very friendly waitress but she did treat me like the lady that I am. I was ready for someone to make me out but no one did.
So it was another delightful day where I could be my female (real) self. Oh it felt so good. I don't want to change back into that fake man. Starting to think maybe Im allot father on the scale than a CD plus.
Note wear sports bra next time holds breast enhancers in better that a regular bra.
Thanks for all of your encouragement.
I just styled my hair and wore it short. I understand that short hair is in style now.
Oh that's a new picture of me, on the right, ready to go out on the town tonight.
Hugs to All,
:)
Jillieann
Cangrats on what seems to have been an enjoyable day for you. Don't be too hard on the waitress, maybe she was just having an off day. My daughter worked in a very busy restaurant, and although the tips were OK she often remarked that they never made up for the hassle of one angry customer. It didn't happen often but she said that it would ruin her day.
So after the day out, what did you enjoy the most? What did you enjoy the least? and what would you do differently the next time (besides wear a sports bra) :)
Steph
P.S. Nice picture
Hi Stephanie,
One thing I liked was that the store clerks were allot friendlier than when I dress as a man.
I also felt as that I could shop in any store-department without getting looks. I was able to check out the cosmetics and not feel like I didn't belong in fact I bought some foundation makeup. Buying woman's shoes was fun.
What I liked least was eating alone although I'm glad I took a novel along, so was able to read while my dinner was being prepared. Oh, Cassandra I did order chicken fingers, one of my favorites, but eat them very daintily.
My makeup was a little heavy, but I get it right eventually.
Longer hair, I know, in time it will grow.
Thanks I do think I look feminine in the picture.
While out shopping I felt gentler and happier than the male side of myself. It was much easier and I was a lot calmer wile out.
Next time?
Well I like to have my nails done. They are starting to grow out thanks to Kendra's help.
Also I'd like to try on some dresses. Maybe get a blouse long shirt outfit. Don't like wear my wife's there a little big on me. I will work on other objectives for next outing.
I found that the objective that I had setup for myself this time help to relieve some of the stress I had the first time out.
I hope this will help some of my sisters and brothers here.
:) Hug's
Jillieann
I am so proud of you Jillieann! I can't believe you did it! I wish I could get up the nerve to do something like that. I think I would be more comfortable if I had someone with me. I noticed you did not mention your SO as being with you. Did she know? Does she understand? How does she feel about the new you? I'm just curious. My wife hasn't totally accepted that side of me yet. There's always hope though.
Lisabeth
Hi Lisabeth,
No my SO (wife) doesn't not know.
She is jealous of my eyebrow though. ;D
I am still finding out who I am and what level. I've always went whole heartily into any hobby I got into, not that this is anything like a hobby. I'm still exploring my feelings and my reactions to different experiences. I haven't worn mens jockeys(under pants) in the last 3 month and never will again. I will cross-dress and go out occasionally. But I don't know if I will be satisfied with just cross-dressing or do I want to go further.
And if I need more than what am I willing to pay in relationships and money? These are issues I am struggling with.
But I know I should tell her soon, but not during the holidays.
Thanks for the encouragement Lisabeth.
Your Sis,
:)
Jillieann
Quote from: Jillieann on December 26, 2005, 10:57:10 PM
Then I went to Ruby Tuesdays and had dinner. Not a very friendly waitress but she did treat me like the lady that I am. Jillieann
Quote from: Stephanie Craxford on December 27, 2005, 12:20:27 AM
Don't be too hard on the waitress, maybe she was just having an off day. My daughter worked in a very busy restaurant, and although the tips were OK she often remarked that they never made up for the hassle of one angry customer. It didn't happen often but she said that it would ruin her day.
I am a server/food handler/everything in a restaurant.
Having a "bad day" is no excuse for poor service. Its your day that is crap, its your problem.
I wait on people that I see pull in with every type of bumper sticker.
Marriage = one man + one woman or
homosexuality is a sin. Or, overhearing a conversation that exposes their intolerance for others be race, religion or sexual preference
They are treated the same as any other customer who is paying my wages by purchasing there. I smile and and ask them what they want, smile when I bring it and smile when I take their money. If they leave a tip I smile even more. Their tips get donated to a gay rights group here. The better service I give, the more money they donate to help support gay rights
Leigh
I provide a service to our company's customers and they pay a good chunk of change for that service. That does not give them the right to treat me with disrespect. Just as customers who are being waited on by my daughter do not have that right to treat her other than as a human being and with respect.
Just last week one of our drivers was driving a charter with approx 45 to 50 people to a club for a Christmas party. The party goers became very drunk and started calling the driver a f**king moron because she refused to allow beer on the bus (it's against the law here). She called me on the pager and explained the situation. I told the driver to stand by, and talked to the group through the two-way radio and I called the person who chartered the bus. I explained the situation to him and told him that our driver does not have to put up with that type of behavior and that they will have to find their own way home. I then told my driver to return to the yard. The charter was worth approx $750.00, you know what they can keep it, the customer is not always right, and we will not be dealing with them anymore.
Smiling sweetly to morons does nothing but reinforce their behaviour.
Steph
I agree Steph
What I was trying to bring up is that even though I may not like them personally or their views, they are still entitled to the same service. Now if they were to call me names, or ask me to do something that I cannot or am not allowed to do thats a different story.
Leigh
Quote from: Leigh on December 27, 2005, 09:35:21 PM
I agree Steph
What I was trying to bring up is that even though I may not like them personally or their views, they are still entitled to the same service. Now if they were to call me names, or ask me to do something that I cannot or am not allowed to do thats a different story.
Leigh
Ah ha now I understand. Very true Leigh, very true :)
Steph
Actually Steph and Leigh,
Both of you brought up two very good points. Those being that when your being served the service should be polite nad respectful but with comes aresponsibility of the customer to treat the person or company with respect also. It has always annoyed me that some people expect laws to be broken for their convenience and that they become agressive if things don't go their way.
Shelley
Or to put it another way, it's not the product you serve of dispense that is necessarily most important to the customer, it is the service that makes thier day and brings them back, or inclines them to shop next door time and again.
Terri
Quote from: Jillieann on December 26, 2005, 10:57:10 PM... I understand that short hair is in style now. ...
I am thankful I've never paid any attention to styles *wink*
I'm glad things are going so well for you Jillieann! Be extra sure you keep safe, remember idiots abound.
I agree with you Steph, not always is the customer right.
Being in business my self, we all have to understand that it is the person who walks through the door that pays our wages, however this is only true to a point.
Not often, but periodically, there is the person that is being totally unreasonable, no matter what you try to do for them.
Both in your business and mine, like it or not, we are bound by the laws of the Province on certain things, and if we do not adhere to that our licences will be in jeopardy.
In those rare situations, I just plainly tell the person, we do not make the laws, we just administer them, and it is for the safety of every one.
As several people have told me, even if you give some one a gold fence, they will not be happy, so all we can do is out best, and hopefully satisfy the biggest majority of our customers
Denise
Yes in the book store I work for, we will try satisfying customers to a point. ex make exchanges without receipts, or give store credit (though no cash) even past 30 days, move product seeming offensive (ex swimsuit issue mags), and return money if they dont like the coffee. But we will not give away free stuff just if they want it. And we wont change store hours, or even our location (both customers have asked for before). We dont fire people just because someone doesnt like them either.(they had to have done something against the rules)
These things are sort of unreasonable and goes beyond the scope of good customer service.
Great on your second trip out. Good Job!!