Since going full time 2 months ago I've noticed differences in how I'm being treated by total strangers. I never realized these things before while acting like a male.
I was out with a male friend and I was shopping for a new phone, this was going to my first purchase of a smart phone. We walk into the phone store and a male sales clerk walks over and asks if he could help us. I told him what I was looking for and he directed us over to a couple of phones. I asked what the differences where between the phones he was showing me. He turned to my male friend and started to explain the features of each phone. Every time I would ask another question the answer was directed at my friend even though I was the one asking the questions. he acted like the answers were over my head!
Then yesterday I was working in the beauty shop were I work and one of the hair dressers husbands was helping out and answering a question for this middle aged woman right by the counter I was working. After he gave her the answer to her question she just turned to me and said thank you and have a nice day! I just stood there kinda laughing to myself because I didn't help her at all but she thanked me and not him.
Everyday now I'm finding that people especially women are a lot friendlier to me. As they walk by they look me in the eye, smile and say hi! Men walking by will say hi also. Even kids that I don't know tend to walk up to me now and talk to me and want to hang around me and there moms are okay with it. I don't feel like moms are looking at me like I'm some sort of pervert because I'm talking and joking with there kids.
These are all added benefits of transitioning that I wasn't expecting and I never realized before that there are these type of differences. What differences have you experienced after starting your transition?
Much Love,
Melissa Ann
Like in the case of the phone salesguy, my wife gets TOTALLY pissed off when we go the doctor, Her Doctor, and just about everything he says is basically directed to me and not her. And that is on top of him being a lot more open to listening and reasoning out alternatives or treatments for her, compared to the times she goes alone.
Call it male privilege, or women being treated as second class people.
As far as kids and moms... I've always been a kid magnet, especially sub 3 y/o. I suspect jealousy or being super protective is why their body language exudes discomfort soon followed by them calling the kid away
I'm not full-time, and I get to see the stark contrast in other people's interactions with me between male and female modes. It's amazing. I know I am one scary looking dude but.... :o
I don't know what it is about me, but several times now i get the door held open for me, and then they follow me around the store for a while afterwards. ???
I had a phone sales guy experience
Looking sf a Samsung s5 I asked whats good about
It and he told me its very ppowerfill
And I said gooood I like power gimme details
And he said its got very tecnical stuff and its very
Hard to follow...and well..I said " huh I Geuss your right ".
And gave the most confused look kn my.face and said
" must be hard to follow for a retail person " lol
As much as we'd like to believe that men and women are treated equally in this society, its not so. There are perceived notions that women know nothing about cars and men no nothing about babies or children. If you take your car to the shop or go to buy a new one, chances are, the male will be addressed by the seller.
If a couple is out buying baby clothes or kids things, the female will be addressed.
Part of it is each gender has been treated for years, part is because of the way we act. Depending on the woman, she might know more about cars than her husband, yet hangs back. The same goes for men and kids. For those of you who remember the slogan "you've come a long way baby", well, we have a long way to go.
These are not my opinions, just observations.
sam1234
It's definitely true that men and women are treated differently. When I take my 4 kids anywhere around town as a guy, people act like I'm accomplishing some huge feat. As a woman...not so much. It's assumed that moms can handle their kids and dads can't.
Quote from: MelissaAnn on February 21, 2015, 12:24:09 PM
Since going full time 2 months ago I've noticed differences in how I'm being treated by total strangers. I never realized these things before while acting like a male.
I was out with a male friend and I was shopping for a new phone, this was going to my first purchase of a smart phone. We walk into the phone store and a male sales clerk walks over and asks if he could help us. I told him what I was looking for and he directed us over to a couple of phones. I asked what the differences where between the phones he was showing me. He turned to my male friend and started to explain the features of each phone. Every time I would ask another question the answer was directed at my friend even though I was the one asking the questions. he acted like the answers were over my head!
Then yesterday I was working in the beauty shop were I work and one of the hair dressers husbands was helping out and answering a question for this middle aged woman right by the counter I was working. After he gave her the answer to her question she just turned to me and said thank you and have a nice day! I just stood there kinda laughing to myself because I didn't help her at all but she thanked me and not him.
Everyday now I'm finding that people especially women are a lot friendlier to me. As they walk by they look me in the eye, smile and say hi! Men walking by will say hi also. Even kids that I don't know tend to walk up to me now and talk to me and want to hang around me and there moms are okay with it. I don't feel like moms are looking at me like I'm some sort of pervert because I'm talking and joking with there kids.
These are all added benefits of transitioning that I wasn't expecting and I never realized before that there are these type of differences. What differences have you experienced after starting your transition?
Much Love,
Melissa Ann
This mirrors my experience very closely. Except instead of a phone store, I needed to buy a tool and I was by myself. I go to pay for it, and I cashier says "Are you sure you want to buy this??" That never happen to me in male mode.
Ugh yeah I've dealt with a lot of this crap...
In dealing with a lot of tech stuff, like computers or programming (stuff I've been majoring in) I've had guys ask if I needed help with any of it even though I clearly know what I'm doing and even know more than them. My own boyfriend has pulled this on me when I said I wanted to build a new computer. He's like 'oh want me to build it for you?' ...I've had three A+ courses and could be certified in PC repair if I wanted to, no... thank you. -_-
And then just the way I get treated everywhere for everything is totally different in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. It's annoying and sometimes noticing the behavior of men is disgusting. I never understood them to begin with but now I'm just way over on the other side and can definitely relate to women and what they go through. Just difficult adjusting because I hadn't grown up with it. I really hate noticing the typical behaviors though. So easy to see right through it all. But it's not just with men. Women too. There's a bar I go to sometimes where the female bartender is just ice-cold to me, so I actually prefer the male bartender because he's friendly with me. Which is so lame in a way because it leads into some typical manipulative behaviors. :/
Also with women, I get a lot of compliments on my clothes. Earrings, boots, shirt, whatever. So I've learned to pay it back, and if I legit think someone has nice boots or something I'll let them know.
Talking to salespeople as a couple is just freakin' weird at times. Like anytime they make gender-based assumptions or they treat me as 'the girlfriend', it's weird when I realize I have to play along... but even weirder when I realize that what they're saying is accurate and fitting...
And then my landlord gets all sexist with me sometimes. Says I should do this or that for my man, and I should cook and clean, etc. Plus he doesn't like taking my rent money from me, he prefers my boyfriend gives him the money. Idk, there are a lot of things really.. I try not to think about them too much or it just drives me crazy, especially when I realize it's just going to be like this from now on...
Quote from: JoanneB on February 21, 2015, 04:43:11 PM
As far as kids and moms... I've always been a kid magnet, especially sub 3 y/o.
I've always had this, and no idea why. I've had to make real effort to put them off if I don't want to end up playing with them. Its the strangest thing, as to look at me you'd not pick it, or I never did anyway. This is my entire adult life, presenting male, and most it not knowing about being transgender.
Anyone else get this?
Quote from: AnonyMs on February 22, 2015, 05:30:32 AM
I've always had this, and no idea why. I've had to make real effort to put them off if I don't want to end up playing with them. Its the strangest thing, as to look at me you'd not pick it, or I never did anyway. This is my entire adult life, presenting male, and most it not knowing about being transgender.
Anyone else get this?
Yes, I get it too. I'm also the one women come up to to ask directions and other questions. Never understood it. Still don't.
Quote from: MelissaAnn on February 21, 2015, 12:24:09 PM
Everyday now I'm finding that people especially women are a lot friendlier to me. As they walk by they look me in the eye, smile and say hi! Men walking by will say hi also.
I haven't gone out dressed yet but this is how I get treated in the street all the time. I tend to smile a lot because walking around makes me happy and I love being out and about in a bustling city. I do look folks in the eye some too but even folks I have hardly glanced at will offer me a "hello" or "good morning". I guess I just look friendly or pleasant or whatever. When I'm in a good mood I like to share it with the world!