Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: rachel89 on February 23, 2015, 12:23:02 PM

Title: First time in public
Post by: rachel89 on February 23, 2015, 12:23:02 PM
Went out in public today. Today was my first time in public as a woman, not including the gay bar or trans support group meetings. I went to my therapist dressed in a short black skirt,  tan pantyhose, a blue top, a scarf, and was carrying a purse. I was a little nervous, and not passing yet but the appointment actually went fine. Afterwards, I had to fill up my car, and went into the gas station and with cash. I got some stares, and one woman smiled at  me (maybe a trans sister?), but no one made rude comments. I think it might have been more awkward for the gas station attendant than it was for me. Although the stares were uncomfortable, it felt like a relief go out in ppublic, even if it was only for a couple minutes. I think my fashion choices weren't really the best, but it still felt good to be myself.
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: April Lee on February 23, 2015, 12:48:42 PM
Congratulations Rachel! Enjoy the moment!

I have often said that the first time I stepped outside my house was a far more important event than me starting HRT. I was absolutely terrified, but felt liberated at the same time.
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: CHELLIE on February 23, 2015, 01:01:06 PM
Quote from: rachel89 on February 23, 2015, 12:23:02 PM
Went out in public today. Today was my first time in public as a woman, not including the gay bar or trans support group meetings. I went to my therapist dressed in a short black skirt,  tan pantyhose, a blue top, a scarf, and was carrying a purse. I was a little nervous, and not passing yet but the appointment actually went fine. Afterwards, I had to fill up my car, and went into the gas station and with cash. I got some stares, and one woman smiled at  me (maybe a trans sister?), but no one made rude comments. I think it might have been more awkward for the gas station attendant than it was for me. Although the stares were uncomfortable, it felt like a relief go out in ppublic, even if it was only for a couple minutes. I think my fashion choices weren't really the best, but it still felt good to be myself.

Thats great that you got out em femme, when you go out in public, look at what all the other women are dressed in, dont over dress, or you bring attention to yourself, and easy on the make up, little is more with make up,  a confident attitude in your predominate Gender is what is required. Take care, Chellie 
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Julia-Madrid on February 23, 2015, 02:19:27 PM
Congratulations Rachel.  These are such important steps, even if they are terrifying.  Actually, for any sane person going out as you did, it pretty much needs to be terrifying  :D 

It's all part of growing a thick skin and getting used to being The Girl.  It gets easier and people also start to pay less attention.  Then, when you least expect it, you'll get some attention from some dude asking you out on a date!  Wait - you'll see...

Keep it low key, but that doesn't mean trying to go unnoticed.  Just be who you are and you'll have fun.

Hugs
Julia
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Tori on February 23, 2015, 02:24:46 PM
I am SO proud of you.

Being out is so liberating, and the public is typically WAY nicer than you imagine.

My first time out alone, I was pulled over by a police officer for having a broken tail light and an expired registration. Oops. He was sweet though and let me off with a warning.
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Ashley1212 on February 23, 2015, 02:33:55 PM
Congrats, Rachel
Glad to hear your first time out went well.
Ashley
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: April_TO on February 23, 2015, 02:53:14 PM
OMG - congratulations!!!!

You are braver than me. My first time out was in the evening for a dinner.
I didn't get any stares at all but it was also night time :)

Hugs

April
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: ImagineKate on February 23, 2015, 03:43:38 PM
Yay Rachel!!!
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Kellam on February 23, 2015, 06:14:38 PM
Wonderful! Congradulations!
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Kaydee on February 23, 2015, 07:54:24 PM
Congratulation, Rachael.   I'm looking forward to my first real time out as well.   It must feel great to get beyond that step out the door.
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Kacie Lynne on February 23, 2015, 10:01:17 PM
Congrats that is a big step, i remember my first time out, it took me
20 mins to get the nerve to step out of the car and now i dont go
anywhere unless i go as kacey
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: JenJen2011 on February 24, 2015, 02:13:10 AM
Congrats and forget the stares. We tend to automatically assume stares mean we are being clocked but stares could mean anything. Maybe they thought your outfit was cute. Maybe they thought you looked beautiful. Or maybe they are just nosey people who like to stare at other people. Just continue and enjoy life. And if you do get any rude remarks, just look them straight in the eye and smile. Don't let any of that BS get to you. Be happy and be yourself!  :)
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Jessie Ann on February 24, 2015, 03:19:57 AM
Congrats!!!  I kinda looked like I was going to a funeral for my first therapy session but it felt so good to be out as me.  Really the only person we have to impress as was are starting out is ourselves in order to build some confidence.   For my last session I had to go in guy mode and my therapist asked me why I was in drag!   ;D
That actually made me laugh because I guess I now dress in drag to go to work and get to dress normal when I get home at night  :o 

So look at it that way - it was your first time going out dressed normal  ;)
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: katiej on February 24, 2015, 03:44:34 AM
Yay for Rachel!  :)

I remember the sheer terror my first time out.  I was in another city, staying in a hotel.  Leaving my room was really difficult and getting on the elevator took courage, but getting off the elevator and stepping out into a crowded lobby was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.  But within 10 minutes I realized tgat nobody seemed to notice me.  That's when the relief and euphoria kicked in!

Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: rachel89 on February 24, 2015, 04:04:18 AM
I wasn't passing, and even if the the guy staring at me was totally checking me out, I'm not into ->-bleeped-<-s, and he wasn't exactly Mr. Cute and handsome anyways.
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: rachel89 on February 24, 2015, 04:18:38 AM
I felt like a princess in the outfit I wore, even if I stood out. I am afraid that passing in my area would require me to dress like a redneck (something I refuse to do even in drab). I don't even mind standing out, as long as I am passable as a girl who has somewhat eccentric tastes in fashion.
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: rachel89 on February 24, 2015, 04:33:23 AM
I was still nervous enough that I didn't wear a coat (no women's coats yet) and didn't notice that it was only 8 degrees Fahrenheit outside.
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: alexbb on February 24, 2015, 05:03:56 AM
Well done!!!!
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Sheila Grace on February 24, 2015, 05:36:09 AM
Congratulations, Rachel. I am happy that you had that feeling of "being home". Keep it up, it makes all of us stronger. Hugs, Sheila :angel:
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Sabrina on February 24, 2015, 08:50:29 AM
This is great to hear! Just wait until you start getting a larger wardrobe. Mixing and matching different outfits is kind of fun.
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Eva Marie on February 24, 2015, 09:12:50 AM
The first time out is both terrifying and liberating, isn't it?  :) Congrats on having the courage to take that step.

My first time out was at a very popular bar in the gayborhood (Hillcrest) of San Diego. It is funny though, after sitting in the bar chatting with my friends for about 30 minutes I totally forgot that I was dressed en femme; I was actually startled later when I thought about it. It was so natural to be dressed that way.

Your genie is out of the bottle now!  :laugh:
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: rachel89 on February 25, 2015, 12:34:38 AM
The responses here have been amazing. I was left feeling very stuck for a long time. But things are finally starting to come together a little bit. I feel that if I can go out in public once, maybe I will try again tomorrow, when I have my appointment with the electro. Although anything seems easy compared to coming out to parents. My outfit for tomorrow will be my sweater dress, tights (but definitely not nude this time), boots, and a pretty pashmina scarf to hide "Mr. Cactus" until my electro zaps him . The electro already knows I am trans woman and is cool with it.
Title: Re: First time in public
Post by: Alana_Jane on February 25, 2015, 02:40:54 AM
Totally go see your Electro dressed.  you'll be surrounded by cars until you get there.  Last time I went to mine, I wore a nice black dress and stopped in a Ralph's grocery store/pharmacy for some sun screen.  As I walked away from the car, I noticed a lady in a nice purple dress loading her groceries in the trunk.  She smiled at me as I sauntered passed her and I gave her a friendly "hi" and nod.  All this with two days fuzz on my face.  Just hold your head high and own who you are.
Hugs,

-Alana