Would you rather "stay" cis or would you rather have transitioned?
I find myself wondering this sometimes, that if there was a way to make these feelings go away, would I still choose to transition? There's the part of me that would say yes definitely, wouldn't want yet another part of me to make me "different" from everyone else. The other part of me says I'd rather transition and be me, not some "fixed" form of me, because I can't think of a me that ever particularly liked being female and making the dysphoria go away seems to me like it would entail changing some inherent part of myself. I don't really want to become someone else.
Wondering how you guys would think of this.
Oh man. I would still rather transition. I was born to be a girl!
Quote from: darkblade on February 23, 2015, 02:07:56 PM
Would you rather "stay" cis or would you rather have transitioned?
One of hose impossible questions to answer. If you never knew of the issue you would have no conflict to bring this to your attention.
This is an interesting question. It gave me something to think about.
I'd still rather transition.
It's not just the feeling of dysphoria that defines me. My entire personality and attitudes help make up who I am. I'll be honest and say that as a guy I've just come to loathe anything remotely feminine that people try to pin on me -- colours, objects, clothes ... I'm uncomfortable with certain types of people. (I know that's a bad way to react. It's something I'm working on.)
It's my opinion that while being transgender can be difficult, it's who I am. It's a piece of the core of my identity. There are so many life lessons to learn and challenges to overcome that cis-gender people (who have always been cis) can't fully understand. And life isn't meant to be one easy ride, y'know? It has moments and times that test your mettle. For me, being transgender and transitioning is part of that challenge and I fully intend to meet it head on. Being cured ... I think I'd hate myself for taking that option. It'd feel more like giving in and stepping back.
But I fully respect anyone who disagrees or who might consider or choose the cure as an option for them! If that's what you wanna do, go for it. I'd support that.
It's just not for me.
I'm at the point where I am just about to start therapy and I am dreading the prospect of being told I must transition in order to actually be happy. If I could I would choose to be happy with the body I was born with and grew up into, since it is male enough that I will never truly look or sound as a female :(
Tough question. I guess it would depend on what time of my life I was in. High school, cure. College, transition. First 15 years of my marriage, cure. Now? Still not sure. I am looking forward to transition, but if it didn't have to be an issue? I just don't know. Probably would still want to transition. I've been a "man" long enough. Time be the woman I was meant to be.
Quote from: darkblade on February 23, 2015, 02:07:56 PM
Would you rather "stay" cis or would you rather have transitioned?
I find myself wondering this sometimes, that if there was a way to make these feelings go away, would I still choose to transition? There's the part of me that would say yes definitely, wouldn't want yet another part of me to make me "different" from everyone else. The other part of me says I'd rather transition and be me, not some "fixed" form of me, because I can't think of a me that ever particularly liked being female and making the dysphoria go away seems to me like it would entail changing some inherent part of myself. I don't really want to become someone else.
Wondering how you guys would think of this.
It's kind of a silly question don't you think? It would be like me saying "If unicorns were real, would you keep one as a pet?".
Wait, what?
"If unicorns were real..."
What dysphoria can not be cured! :icon_help: :icon_censored: :eusa_wall: :icon_ashamed:
Need to check where mine went.
Dysphoria can be cured if you truly have gender/genital dysphoria.
Or maybe i am the the first. :icon_yes:
I don't know yet but I guess life would definitely be easier if I didn't have these feelings - or if I was born a girl. But then I would not have the yearning to be a girl...arrrgghh.
Although I have a fairly masculine hairy body I still have some "feminine" traits (as I like to believe 8) - for example finger 2d:4d ratio, rather slim body, thin arms. It's funny....like decade ago or less I would imagine myself growing old as a man...now the thought drives me crazy.
As others said, it's very difficult to impossible to answer. I should try to think "I am who I am" and try to make myself happy...as life is a journey and all the experiences make it worthwhile. For those that life is "easy" or doesn't have many obstacles maybe it's not so "full". I just don't know...
I spent a lot of time growing up wishing that the dysphoria would go away and then nobody would have to know, so I probably would have asked for the cure back then. I'm really happy with how my life has turned out since transition, so there is no way I would go back now!
Quote from: Zumbagirl on February 23, 2015, 03:43:00 PM
It would be like me saying "If unicorns were real, would you keep one as a pet?".
Of course! And I would ride it to work every day!
Quote from: darkblade on February 23, 2015, 02:07:56 PM
Would you rather "stay" cis or would you rather have transitioned?
My female parts are the most beautiful parts of me. Without them I wouldn't be me.
What? If some doctor had come along when I was younger and offered me a genuine method to be happy to stay a boy, would I have accepted his help? Oh hell no!
I would rather have chew off my own leg than to have missed this opportunity to be a tattooed, girly-girl, Badass Barbie Doll pool player.
A cure? I want a second helping of the disease!
Truth, no-one wants to have to go through the agony of transistion, coming out to everyone, the ridicule and such. Easy just not feel that way. But most who have, feel now they would not change back for anything. There is a peace in being who they are supposed to be. We all like peace of spirit right. ;D
Quote from: darkblade on February 23, 2015, 02:07:56 PM
Would you rather "stay" cis or would you rather have transitioned?
I find myself wondering this sometimes, that if there was a way to make these feelings go away, would I still choose to transition? There's the part of me that would say yes definitely, wouldn't want yet another part of me to make me "different" from everyone else. The other part of me says I'd rather transition and be me, not some "fixed" form of me, because I can't think of a me that ever particularly liked being female and making the dysphoria go away seems to me like it would entail changing some inherent part of myself. I don't really want to become someone else.
Wondering how you guys would think of this.
I am transgender because my brain is wired that way. I would not want my brain wired any other way, because I would no longer be "me". I like "me", and depriving anyone of the "me" that they have always known and loved would be unthinkable.
The cure for my dysphoria is a complete transition. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My first session with my therapist is this week, and I been thinking and saying to my wife that if there was a way to be happy in this male body I would take it. So yes, if there was a "cure', darn right sign me up.
Stanna
No way in hell!!!!
I've not had my t blocker for two months and I despise testosterone with a vengeance, I'm feeling so aggressive right now I've given myself a headache from frowning and scowling, I've just done 12 hr stint on dead rising 3 to try and shed some of this pent up aggression.
I've killed over 20,000 zombies with twin blades only and instead of laughing at the ubsurdity of it, I'm getting more angry by the minute.
Earlier today I was in tears and now I'm struggling to contain the anger, I used to be this angry all the time before I came out, today it's like a switch flipped in my head and turned the clock back 3 yrs.
I'm reaching the point where if I go outside and someone looks at me wrong I'll end up on charges, I'm actually afraid to leave my house for fear of what I may do.
I want to smash things up, this is how I used to be all the time.
As a man I was always angry, I was a pussycat to my friends but I lived on a hair trigger with the anger bubbling just beneath the surface.
I never wanted to feel testosterone poisoning again and this reminder makes me realise that I hate who I used to be
(I'm not sure that what I have is exactly "dysphoria" as such, but I don't know what else to call it.)
In a perfect world, I wouldn't need to be "cured." My pain comes not from my being different, but from the scorn and gaslighting and oppression with which society responds to my difference.
I don't see how you could take away what makes me come here and press my face agains the plate glass shop window and wish I could be on the other side without taking away what make me me. I mean, if we're going to start hacking away at my core, why stop at cis? Why not make me a happy "bros before ..." dudebro? Why not "cure" me of my longing for justice for the oppressed of the world and in my country? Why not go back in time and "cure" slaves of their desire to be free?
I'm reminded of this response to homophobes and transphobes: "God doesn't make mistakes. People do."
This is a rather interesting question. Knowing what I know now, I think that if I didn't have a natural resistance to Testosterone, I would be a happy functional adult male. But that's the kicker, yes my genes say I should be male, but they also made me Intersex too.
Go figure.
Having heard "Cured" people testify before the Maryland Senate during the runup for the Trans-Rights bill, I am concerned about "The Cure" being worse then the problem. These people were the angriest most hate filled I've come across in a long time.
If I didn't have to deal with being trans, I surely would not have reached the level of personal growth that I have these past 6 years actually dealing with being trans.
If I didn't have to deal with being trans, I surely would not have had such a stunted level of emotional growth that I've had dealing with it the way I was.
Good question. If there was a cure for my disphoria and I could be cis I would with one requirement, I would be cis male. I tried to be a happy cis lesbian and even when my dysphoria was at it's least and my denial at its best I still knew that "lesbian" didn't fit.
I have thought about this question too sometimes, but instead of considering it in an abstract manner, I would first ask - how exactly is 'curing' dysphoria possible without transitioning?
If it is true that our gender identity is decided in the brain, and if it is the brain where dysphoria occurs because of a mismatch with our bodies, then the only way it can be cured without a physical transition is by doing something to our brains. It is not possible currently but may become possible some day, so it may not remain a hypothetical question. But this is where I have to agree with those who say that if their dysphoria were to be 'cured' without transitioning, they would no longer be themselves. Somehow I think doing anything to our brains to 'cure' or 'change' one thing will have an effect on how the brain works in other ways too, which in turn will affect who we are as people.
So what would I choose - changing my brain which decides who I am, what I feel, how I think, how I decide, what I want, what I care for, and who/what I love?
Or changing my body which only does what the brain tells it to do, and which we anyway keep changing cosmetically all the time?
I would keep my brain as it is, be who I am, and change my body. In other words, I would still want to be female.
P.S. Looking at it another way, I think HRT does change people's brains, in the right way. I would want that kind of change, but I think that's not what the original question was referring to.
Now that I'm in a better mood than yesterday I'd say there is a perfectly good cure already, hrt and transition
The only other alternative for a cure is to have someone mess with my head, no thank :-)
But to be honest, if they could cure me, I'd rather have CAIS than PAIS. At least then, I wouldn't have had to have the problems I've had.
What if a surgeon told you he had the perfect surgical solution to your problem and that you would be cisgendered and like it? Now what if you found out his solution was a brain transplant?
"We found the perfect donor. She's very happy in her female body so once we transplant her brain into your body, you'll be whole and complete and happy!"
But it wouldn't be you, right? YOU would actually be dead. That's how I feel about any sort of solution that involves fixing your brain. Anything you have to do to your body to make you happy is minor by comparison to that. I feel like I could accept some fairly radical changes to my body and still feel like me if my mind and personality is intact. Changing you in that way is a kind of partial death of the you that was. If you love yourself, you won't want to do that.
I wouldn't. I feel like it wouldn't be right, there would probably be some catch that the cure that leaves us emotionally numb, or completely incapable of placing our gender. It's not my mind that is wrong, it is my body, and so the 'cure' for that for me is HRT and surgeries.
If there was some magic way where I could be happy being cisgendered? I would take that in a heart beat and I wouldn't care if that meant being a slightly different person. And I even tried shoving my dysphoric thoughts away.
But I know there is no magic cure and I don't believe there ever will be.