I mean, I'm sure some people would find it beneficial, but would anyone not want a therapist who was also transgendered?
I was on HRT for two weeks last month, with like, a break of about a week in between. I think I just have a lot of things that I'm worried about and I feel pretty overwhelmed. Sometimes I wonder if transitioning would kill me in terms of working situations. I'm going to start HRT again and I'm starting to think that it will be for good this time. I really don't see the depression stopping, so I have to at least try. I just have a hard time choosing a path and stick with it, maybe because my own has been pretty treacherous up until this point. I always seem to start down the road, regardless of what it's in relation to, and then I stray off to another place. It's a good way to get nowhere.
Anyway, I basically have a degree, I have just 9 credit left. I've just been too down to care over the last year and I've just not enrolled for the past few semesters. My degree will be in Criminal Justice, which was a mistake. I originally wanted to take English and become a librarian, but ironically, my mother told me it was a woman's job. I took Architecture before CJ and got an associates, but with a field like Architecture, that's not likely to land me a job. Regardless, I just have no desire to go into any form of law enforcement. I'm actually pretty bright; just been difficult for me to keep along with what I've been doing. I do well academically. I've already taken a lot of psychology and sociology classes and I'm thinking of maybe staying for another few semesters and trying to get my degree in either, I suppose psychology. I really enjoy the field and am pretty good with those subjects. After that, maybe I'd attempt grad school.
I sort of feel like that may be a good path for me to follow and I'd be proud to be helping people. I understand how it is, so hopefully I'd be a good source of support. I suppose I'd just be worried that maybe I'm missing something and that most would rather receive guidance from a CIS-gendered therapist. Any input would be appreciated, and I hope everyone is well.
I think if you're dealing largely with issues of gender, it can be useful to have a transgender therapist; my current therapist is also a transgender guy, and it's really helpful to work with someone who "gets it" from the inside, and shares some of the same experiences. But what matters most is to find someone who is well trained and has a high level of emotional intelligence and empathy. Both were true of my last therapist, who was a cis guy who also happened to be very young -- just starting his career, in fact. But he was very good, in spite of his youth, and helped me a lot while I was working through major depression, some old trauma, etc. (the "usual stuff," in other words). He was also biracial, which meant that he did have a clue about struggling with some basic identity issues, being misidentified by strangers, and such. I don't think I could ever work successfully with someone white and privileged, who had never experienced any form of prejudice or "otherness."
Well the therapist I see at my local gender center is cis (or so I've presumed) which I did think was a bit odd at first but given he has a lot of experience and is very empathic and supportive I've never had a problem with his gender.
I received all sorts of poor treatment from cisgender therapists, from condescension, incompetence, and gatekeeping. The guy who finally wrote my second surgery letter was a transguy. He understood and gave me no trouble at all.
There are a lot of cisgender therapists who don't understand us. At least from someone who's trans, you won't have to worry about that.
I had one for a few months (I keep agreeing to see postdoc fellows and doctoral interns, so my therapists are temporary). There are pros and cons. It was obviously easier to talk about certain things and he actually was able to share some of his comparable experiences. But with some things I felt a bit more self conscious, like he transitioned so gracefully I didn't want to let him down by doing mine poorly or something like that. I would say I felt comfortable overall though.
As long as my therapist was helpful, I wouldn't care about whether they were trans or cis.
Mine happened to be cis, but she has a reputation for being a "trans whisperer" and I only had to see her 12 times before she declared me problem-free.
I'm sure just being trans does not in itself qualify you to be a therapist for transpeople. Frankly, I think I'd suck at it pretty hard.
I have seen a number of therapists and have stuck with one cis male who has extensive experience. I feel that experience is the key and the rest is just a personal choice. Maybe for different phases of our journey different therapists would better serve us, something i have been thinking about. Yet, I can see why a TG therapist may have advantages but in the end its experience and preferences. I have a godson who is gay and is a therapist for TG with a specific focus on youths and I have talked with him about my TG issues, but its been superficial because of the age gap.
I think it could go either way, great in really understanding you but possibly bad in think that they understand you when they don't. There seems to be a fair bit of that around, but presumably a trained therapist would be better than that.
If they had suffered some other problem that caused stress, depression, social problems, I could see how it might be an advantage.
I know a gay doctor and was quite happy to find him. I don't know if its an advantage in any way except that I feel comfortable talking to him.
I think this like females tend to prefer female Docs for paps etc and men prefer males for male issues. But a good Doc should not have boundaries. The trick is finding a good one.
i had a great guy and now a great woman who I rarely see as I have no need. But sometimes I give her a call and have a chat.
I may be wrong but to my mind a therapist is a person who knows how to make you go through your issues, are non-judgemental, but force you to accept the consequences of your choices. The other thing of course is to fill in the paperwork we need.
I'm still amazed that some of us 'want' a therapist to tell us if we are TG or not, I recall my first therapist replying when I asked him if I was. His reply was, 'well I presume so, otherwise why come to see me?'
I have a male therapist, but there are not many therapists who deal with trans-specific issues in my area, even if they accept trans patients for other issues.
Quote from: Cindy on February 26, 2015, 12:57:28 AM
I may be wrong but to my mind a therapist is a person who knows how to make you go through your issues, are non-judgemental, but force you to accept the consequences of your choices. The other thing of course is to fill in the paperwork we need.
I'm still amazed that some of us 'want' a therapist to tell us if we are TG or not, I recall my first therapist replying when I asked him if I was. His reply was, 'well I presume so, otherwise why come to see me?'
Exactly! I am grateful that I have a therapist (who is not a specialist in gender issues btw) who does exactly this - makes me go through my issues and helps me to reflect on and accept myself, without being judgmental. She has also said that I don't owe an explanation to anyone for who I am, which was quite empowering to hear.
I too had gone in thinking that I needed someone else to 'diagnose' me, but after meeting her and a psychiatrist that she referred me to, I've realized that it is pretty much self-diagnosis, or more precisely, self-acceptance that is required.
To the OP's point, I think a therapist being of one gender or another, cis or trans etc is immaterial, as long as they have the attitude and skills mentioned above. And if you are considering this as a career for yourself, the more important question to ask is whether you will like it enough to want to be good at it. You've already said you enjoy psychology and will be proud to be helping people, so that is what matters, more than your own gender identity I think.
My therapist is transgender and that can come with some perks and a couple doubts.
Firstly, I'm FtM, as is my therapist. He specializes in therapy for LBGT persons, particularly those who are transgender. On the plus side, it was useful to have someone who UNDERSTOOD what it was like. Someone to get some answers from about the steps to take and what resources were availible. And best of all, I didn't have to explain any of the documentation I needed in order to proceed.
The doubts that I got were these, however... As someone so used to seeing transgender individuals, would he be more apt to tell me "yes, I think you fit the GID definition and should transition" even if that weren't to case, simply because he saw so much of it? This wasn't something that came up. He never focused on what he thought I should do, but what I wanted out of life.
The ability of the therapist to do their job is obviously important, but I think your own ability to be comfortable them is important also. Perhaps they can be sufficiently skilled that it doesn't matter; I've not enough experience to have an opinion. I'd have thought that if you find something about them that puts you more at ease its better, all other things being equal.
And ignoring you you feel, are they likely to be better at what they do if they have experienced problems themselves? Again I don't know, but I would have thought so.
There's an aspect to both of these things in the forums here, where people use their own experience to help to others in similar situations.
My original therapist wasn't trans, but she was an absolute joy to talk to. I had reservations at first that maybe, because I'm FTM she would try and convince me to be female. She didn't. She was very empathetic and often asked me the right questions. When I first talked to her I asked her what I needed to do get treatment. She told me "you've done it. You're on your path. There's no "right" way to be you. You're just a young man who needs a certain kind of care."
I don't see her anymore as I left the country, but now I talk a lot to a lovely trans woman as a friend and she helps me when I need it. I was talking to her for several hours a few days ago to deal with a lot personal problems. It's sometimes easier to feel like we can talk to each other. A lot of us can use our own experiences to help each other.
That being said, a good therapist is a good therapist. I have taken the approach that, It doesn't matter what's below our waists or above, so why does it matter what factory settings my therapists and doctors have? If they are good at their job and they treat me with respect, I don't much care.
My current therapist is cis (I assume she is) and she's great to talk to. I wouldn't trade her for a trans therapist.
For me it doesn't matter either way.
I wouldn't say no to one, but I wouldn't purposefully seek one out.
Quote from: suzifrommd on February 25, 2015, 08:16:58 PM
I received all sorts of poor treatment from cisgender therapists, from condescension, incompetence, and gatekeeping. The guy who finally wrote my second surgery letter was a transguy. He understood and gave me no trouble at all.
There are a lot of cisgender therapists who don't understand us. At least from someone who's trans, you won't have to worry about that.
Just a theory, but it could be that the other therapists were just doing a job - you got to do something, may as well be a therapist. A transgender therapist on the other hand has probably suffered a fair bit and has far deeper motivations for doing it. The suffering and recovering being the key part.
Hi TQ,
I would had no issue with a trans therapist or a cis therapist. My 1st therapist was recommended to me at my intake and I was told was one of the best. She is gender fluid. My second therapist was recommended by my 1st therapist (she was closing her practice). She (uses a female name) dresses as male, has a short hair cut and has no experience (her statements) in typical "female" clothing, make-up or jewelry.
Both therapist have extensive knowledge in trans and LGBT issues.
I did not seek out any specific type of person for therapy. I asked for recommendations from those I trusted.