Lately, I've been feeling really bad. I feel sad, hopeless, and lonely....
And that's on top of the dysphoria. Since accepting that I really am transgender, it's only gotten worse...I don't know why it's getting worse....
So...anybody else who deals with these feelings, how do you deal with them? Maybe somebody will have an idea that would work for me.
Trying to deal with feelings is never easy, even at the best of times. Like being in a little boat on the rough high seas you can feel tossed about and sick to the stomach. Sometimes though it can be clear skies and smooth sailing. The first thing to understand is that while we shouldn't deny or ignore our feelings about something neither should we let them rule our life. We are our emotions, not the other way around. I found learning to understand what was at the root of my bad feelings, learning to recognise the triggers, having someone to talk to (even a counsellor or a therapist) and finding a few non destructive distractions and hobbies helped to take me out of my misery and gave me something else to focus on. I used to be as miserable as they come, the journey out of that was not fast or easy. At the core of it was my belief in myself and a conviction that I can and will lead the life I want to lead. Life can deal us a crappy hand sometimes (for example being born into the wrong body) but it's really important to recognise when things are able to change and to work out ways to change them despite the obstacles.
Quinn, is it possible you might be suffering from depression? Might be something to talk to a therapist about. Depression is a common affliction and there is lots of good experience among mental health professionals treating it.
It's also an illusion, a dirty window through which we see the world. It makes possible solutions seem hopeless and distorts our view so that everything looks just a little less positive.
Try hard to see past that dirty window. Don't believe the lies that depression tells you. Talk about what's bothering you to those who can help.
Please accept a hug from me.
Hi Quinn,
I had a lot of help from my therapist. Slowly I addressed issue after issue of underlying problems. I was given assignments to complete. Each assignment was a little outside of my comfort zone. I grew my identity by finding out what and who I am. I tackled fears (still working on that) and grew.
Looking back, I think inside I knew what I was doing, behaving and identifying with was not what and who I am. At some point I had to get help to change because my old self no longer worked. I guess I had to listen to the voice inside me that I ignored and locked away.