Hello everyone,
My autistic son has recently told me he feels like a female and is adamant he needs female hormones. I have of course, told him I will be there for him through this 100% and he has agreed to an appointment with our GP next week.
My son struggles with his autism, is very isolated (no friends) and dislikes any interaction with people. So at this appointment, as with other appointments, I will have to speak for him.
I would like to ask, is there any way or any questions I can ask him, without overwhelming him, that can help me find out how he is feeling so I can prepare and have more information to tell our GP?
TIA
Hi Lovingmum,
Congratulations on having a wonderful child! I know I can speak for all on the forum that you and she will have our full support.
Can you let me know what country you are in as things are different from place to place.
Hey welcome to the forum and big HUGS
Cindy
Hi Cindy,
We are in the UK. I just know that telling the GP he feels female and wants hormones won't be enough to go on.
Hi Hon,
I'm in Australia and the system is different. I was born in Liverpool UK BTW!
The NHS can be excruciatingly slow but very good when it gets started.
You need to empathise to the GP that this is real and your daughter needs help. Being an uncommunicative autistic may be a problem, but there is a link between autism and TG and it is well recognised. I believe each NHS region has centres of referral for TG and you need to get a link into them. Be insistent with the GP, particularly if they have never dealt with TG before.
Read through and download the Standards of Care. (SOC7) from WPATH. www.wpath.org Take them with you. Also they will give you comfort in reading them. We are not mentally ill, we are transgender and there is a path to follow to allow us to live normal happy lives. It's quite simple! But can be a minefield.
Now personal support. This has probably been a shock and your maternal instinct has leapt in. You may question later if it is your fault etc. How to deal with family and friends etc. Is my daughter a real woman? Yes she is.
Are TG people (often called trans*people) odd or restricted in life? Well I'm a A/Prof of Medicine, there are lawyers, businessmen and women on this site. We didn't ask to be trans* we just are. We are normal men and women. Just as your child is.
Being trans* is hard, but when we are accepted and can be our true selves life is wonderful. Your daughter can have a full, normal and very happy life; as she deserves to have. And you deserve to be a very proud Mum.
Cindy
Thank you Cindy x
I will have a good read of the standards of care later this evening.
Yes, maternal instinct is a bitch! I wish I could be more level headed but I'm so emotional at the moment!
And I hope I don't offend anyone by referring to my son as he etc. I have asked him if he would like me to call him she and he said no. It is his journey, not mine. When he is ready to move forward then I will be there with him too. One step at a time,right?
And thank you again Cindy. Just having you reply has relieved the pain in my heart a little x
Lovingmum,
Refer to your child as he wishes!!
We tend to be a little sensitive, but your child is your child and he is so lucky to have you.
Hey Lovingmum, there are thousands of people on this site who would love to have had a Mum like you; you are a true Mother to your child. Be proud.
Quote from: Lovingmum on February 28, 2015, 02:41:20 AM
...
And I hope I don't offend anyone by referring to my son as he etc. I have asked him if he would like me to call him she and he said no. It is his journey, not mine. When he is ready to move forward then I will be there with him too. One step at a time,right?...
I perfectly understand. I don't use she/her anywhere but online, yet. Not even with RL people like my endocrinologist and primary care physician, who know. I won't feel comfortable doing that until I present female. It just feels a little weird right now. Your son may be feeling much the same given that he already has trouble dealing with people.
Which way of communication is your child the most comfortable with? One on one conversation? Writing? Drawing? Comic Strip Conversation? Social Stories? etc.
I work with Adults on the Autism Spectrum and also worked with children in the past and can understand that social interactions and communication in general can be very difficult. I think it is great that he was able to tell you this:). That is a huge step in itself!
I also worked with children, but their autism was extremely severe and with co-occuring disorders, very sad. On the other end, and sounding more like your son, I have a friend with autism who's a published author. He writes juvenile fantasy fiction as an allegory of his condition. I won't out him in a public forum, but, if you think your son might like to read them, send me a PM when you have enough posts and I'll give you his name.