So I currently have to go around as a guy at work and in most normal life since simply put, my wife isn't a lesbian and I want to do all I reasonably can to stay together. Thus said I've still been transitioning as much as I can get away with. In the past week we got a few new people on the team and one of them, a young lady asked if I would answer a number of work questions. Part way through the discussion she stopped and asked if she could ask me something personal. I said yes and she asked if I was transitioning. Long story short we discussed the matter. She was very cool with it and agreed to not talk about it.
The entire experience left me scared and excited. I always figured somehow it would come out but didn't realize I how far I guess I had transitioned. She read me in part because despite my efforts to dress, and act male, she could not tell my gender. Sure my hair is longer but she said it was my face. So for my part, I liked to hear that but am still somewhat concerned on how things will play out. It was great to hear her also say that if I was dressed female that nobody would even bat an eye. I don't agree with her but heck, my inner girl eats compliments up.
Has anybody else bumped into something like this where you are trying to pass as a guy in a job and are being read? If so, how did it go?
Well it did happen to me on a Friday. I went FT on the following Monday.
No one was unkind and all accepted me.
Maybe ask her to leak it for a week or so?
It is called burning bridges BTW.
I have vendor meetings. New ones refuse to gender me at all unless they figure it out from the voice. And as I've said, some colleagues I've never interacted with regularly gender me female.
My regular colleagues comment on weight loss and hair length.
I want to go full time so badly.
I did it deliberately. Grew my hair and nails long and pierced my ears. Hoped HRT would give me visible breasts (didn't happen, but that was the plan).
I didn't want anyone keeling over with shock when I announced my transition.
Quote from: ImagineKate on March 06, 2015, 04:49:27 AM
My regular colleagues comment on weight loss and hair length.
My experience shows that they will never add that 2+2, unless You tell them outright. But once You do, it almost seems like something finally clicks in their minds and they get the idea instantly.
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on March 06, 2015, 05:19:43 AM
My experience shows that they will never add that 2+2, unless You tell them outright. But once You do, it almost seems like something finally clicks in their minds and they get the idea instantly.
I agree. One coworker commented on those things and when I told her about the trans thing she nodded as if something clicked.
"Oh, well that explains............!"
That was the comment I got from some work colleagues when I told them.
For the most part though, despite what we may like to think, people tend not to know until we tell them!
Yes, the "oh, that makes sense now" type of comments happened to me as well. Face shape beginning to change as well as some body shape changes. Unfortunately I never developed a breast line that large that hiding it was ever a problem (go go sports bras plus compression jerseys) but once I came out and then a few months later went full time, there hasn't been any problems since.
Aww. That's cute. Sadly I don't think I waited long enough for that to happened, I was only 4 months on hormones before I went full time. I always had sort of longish shaggy hair (as in I looked like Shaggy from scoobydoo) so when it got a bit long I don't think people really noticed. Plus I used to wear reeeeeeally baggy clothing and I think that his what little was going on at that point. I did have the reverse sort of happen to me, far less flattering, but I was out in Texas with my then best friend (later boyfriend) and one of the sushi hostesses came over and asked me how far along I was and I definitely didn't look pregnant. She congradulated me and was very nice and I later found out she's kind of involved with LGBT things which made me feel better about someone not only guessing but being so sure of it they didn't even ask if I was trans and jumped right to asking how far I was.
Thank you for all of your stories. I wish I could simply come out and be done with it. While tempting to set that bridge afire I can't foretell fallout. I know that my employer would be fine but there is the marriage where I told her I wouldn't do that until she was comfortable with it if that ever happened. At this point, she isn't ready but getting closer all of the time. In hindsight I suppose I have been deceiving myself that I can pass/blend as a guy without issue and now I am thinking that whether or not I intentionally step over the line, it will happen anyhow. Now I just want to minimize the collateral damage when that happens.
Things definitely get more complicated when you get married. I wish you the best of luck, odds are things will happen when they are meant to.