Hi everybody. So I am in community college, been on hormones for one week now and had my second appointment for face laser hair removal. I am 21 years old and am still presenting as male daily. I can't wait to start going full-time. I feel like people will think odd of me in school, since I tend to hide my inner self from people in daily life, basically still keeping up the "guy act." For example my laser hair removal appointment today, I could hear the lady behind the desk laughing to their co-worker. I guess because I still present as a guy and she knew that I was there to remove my face hair. Oh well what can you do. I really only present as a guy still just to stay stealthy for the meantime, so I don't have to deal with the ignorance of certain people who have wrongful thoughts of transgender women.
I guess I just can really use some advice on how to not care what people think about you. I get lots of anxiety from this. Another example would be that I really want to go to a wig shop to get fitted for a wig upgrade. Though I am so nervous of going to the wig shop because I feel like everybody is going to think weird of me since I am in guy mode wanting these things, is it something I shouldn't be dressed as a guy for? Maybe I should start dressing when go shopping for female clothes and such.
Sorry for getting off subject, mainly I'm just to worried about what others think of me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you :)
Hi Hon,
Well you never know what people are laughing at! Many cismen get laser for beards so why should they laugh? My 6'5" rugby playing friend gets laser on his facial hair as shaving hurts his skin.
Wig shops: When I wore wigs I went to shops and got them fitted and told the woman helping me I was frightened. She told me, basically we have two major clientele. Women on Chemo and transgender women. We depend on both and both have similar issues, they are frightened. Relax and what sort of style would you like, we are going to have fun!
Janie, I understand your anxiety with shopping for girl things while in guy mode. I agree with Cindy ... wig shops should be very welcoming as they probably have several trans women clients. Women's clothing stores also are usually very friendly in my experience, and some times they want to go out of their way to help just to make you feel comfortable. The more good experiences you have will allow you to feel more comfortable in other situations. For example, a few weeks ago I was buying mascara at one of the big drug store chains and the female cashier thinking that I was buying it for a female was trying to be funny by saying, "I'm sure that's going to look really good on you." And I just smiled and and politely told her I thought so too it's actually my fave. It took her a second to figure it out but she smiled back. It just takes awhile to get to the I don't care what your thinking stage. Good luck.
I guess losing this type of anxiety comes with age. I used to be terrified of all of these things, but what I've found is that the only person that really cares, is me. There are so many reasons that men could be shopping for women's clothing. Maybe it's a gift for someone, maybe their wife is disabled and can't shop for herself, maybe it's for a daughter. Who knows. The sales people just want your money anyway. The first time I bought them, I was in military fatigues in the base exchange before being gay or trans was acceptable in the military and even then, I never had an issue.
I do remember being terrified for the wig thing because it wasn't a store full of people. It was just me and that salesperson in a strip mall with giant windows that everybody could look into. Again, no issues. They were very helpful and I left happy. I showed up there in male mode too, so it was very obvious that I was not a woman going through chemo.
Your own self-acceptance, or lack thereof, is your biggest obstacle. Nobody else cares and the ones that do, don't matter.
could be they were just laughing about a funny TV show they saw the night before. but I wouldn't worry about it, either way.
As for wigs in guy mode. I've done this to see if I was really wanting to transition or whether I was fooling myself. When I tried the wigs on I looked great and felt better about myself (better than I had felt in a very long time). The person at the wig store was very professional, and made me feel welcome and comfortable, I'll be going back there :D
hopefully that helps some :D
Well drag queens go shop for wigs on guys mode, so I guess if it's a big wig shop they probably seen guys going to shop wigs there. Well that depends if you live in a city where there are them. Did you ever went out as a girl tho? You probably can start doing some experience part time first, and then go full time. Good luck, also it's all on your head, a lot of people tell me how people do not care after the first moment, really we all have our own issues, we don't need to make other people feel uncomfortable, etc... (There are some jerks of course, but not the majority hopefully)