So... the mother called me last night. We haven't spoke since Christmas, and our last communication was her e-mailing me to basically not get a tattoo, since they hurt, "nuns don't have tattoos" and that I should dye my hair pink instead to show my new status as a pot smoking hippy.
A couple of explanations before I continue:
- I am a Catholic who feels called to religious life in some form.As a transman, I'm not sure how that will end up, but before my revelation, it was to become a Nun.
- I have a prescription for medical marijuana.
- I am 32 years old.
I went ahead and dyed my hair purple (I refuse pink except with very good reason. NOT putting it in my hair) AND got a tattoo because my mother was basically treating me like a young teen... My roommate did the tat for me (he's pro trained), and did it for free (He owed me some back rent and this was an acceptable alternative).
So... back to the phone call... I'm in brackets:
"Hi Kiddo, how are you. (Ok all things considered.) I just wanted to call because we haven't talked in a long time and I hear you're MISBEHAVING, getting tattoos and dyeing your hair and such."
ARG!!!! I am 32 years old... If I want a tattoo or to dye my hair or even to jump off a cliff, I can do what the heck I want!!!!!!!
*SIGH* Is she ready to hear the truth about me being trans? Frankly, I don't care at this moment. I want to shock her into understanding that I'm not 16 anymore, and that MIGHT just do it. We are meeting for lunch on Monday, so I'll see if I want to tell her then.
I am so sorry that your mother is treating you like that. It can be endlessly frustrating and I totally understand.
It's possible that at this point she knows you're an adult but has purposely made up her mind to not treat you as one. If that's the case then the best thing you can do is to remember that she's the one acting childish and be patient and calm with her as you would with any other child. That's what I do when some of my family members try to push my buttons. It helps me put things into perspective so it doesn't hurt as much when they aim insults at me, for example, and I'm able to just chalk up their behavior to their childish mindset.
It may seem like your parents will always be above you because we're raised to think that our parents know everything, we can always go to them for guidance, but at some point every adult eventually surpasses their parents.
Nah, this is a long standing issue, and I've come up against it from her before. I believe she thinks it's a great joke, but even as such it's not a *great* joke, rather a very poor one! We never were very good at communication between the two of us. I'm not on speaking terms with most of her family either. I just sigh and get on with my life, usually ignoring that side. ::)