I normally dont see it in the mirrors... but when I take self pictures its like my face look very manly.... I dont know why men even find me attractive looking at my face because its kind of ugly.
I have a Simon Cowell type face... and this guy told me I look like this wrestler called Butter Bean (he doesnt look like me... but it hurt me when i look him up)...
I dont know right now.... i just feel ugly, almost hopeless because i cant find a doctor who does hormone theraphy..... and im getting fatter (but because im a guy i dont care about my body)... my eyelid looks droopy.
Pity story. Im sorry.... we all go through this i guess.... but its just torture watching myself look manlier and manlier. And yet i hold onto the singular comments that make me feel attractive... its like I go back and forth between ugliness and beimg somewhat attractive.
Hi Wild Flower,
I think most of us go through that stage at times. I know I still do, especially with no make-up on. I just don't pictures of myself for that very same reason. :o
I am fortunate enough to be on hormones, and it does make a difference in that it softens your features quite a bit.
You mentioned picking up weight and that you do not care because you are a man. Start seeing yourself as a woman and check that weight. Once on hormones, I found that I picked up more weight and have to work a little harder to keep my weight in check.
You should probably go to a psychologist first, who will then refer you to a doctor for hormones. I don't think there is a shortcut to just get hormones from a doctor directly.
Let us know how it goes sweetie. Hang in there!
PS: I think Simon Cowell is very cute!! ;)
Huggs
Maegan
You have to remember that the lens on your phone or whatever will distort your face and make your features look bigger. If I remember correctly you were worried about the size of your nose, but when I saw your photos I didn't think your nose was in any way big.
When I try and take selfies I see all the male features in my face. Yet when I look in the mirror, I think I look ok. The other aspect to that of course is that the image is flipped; it's not what you are used to seeing.
Maegan offers good advice though and I agree 100%: respect yourself and your body. If you don't like the weight, do something about it. There's loads of before and after pics of trans women who started out as larger men. There's nothing stopping you from doing that, you just have to believe that you can.
I know how hard it is to get yourself out of these mental ruts. I had a ridiculous self loathing rant on here just the other day, thankfully the good people here were able to see it for what it was: my mind going down its little spirals. But if you improve just one little thing at a time, you'll see a change.
And keep posting here, don't worry or apologise, we've all been through tough times.
I still go through this, I'll look at my reflection and zero in on something I don't like and spiral into some self-pity parties. What helps me the most is finding something to distract me, or if I need to vent I'll call my mom and talk to her for an hour or two.
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from Katie's iPad using Tapatalk
Hello Beautiful,
*Raises Hand* If i can get a dollar for being self critical, I can pay for everyone's FFS and SRS.
I am an expert on this. However, as a trans woman we are very self critical and we put so much effort on being the "ideal" woman.
Love and respect yourself. Be kind to it and smile a lot more.
Keep that chin up.
Hugs,
April
Same here, when I look at my selfies I enlarge and home in on what I consider are my worst bits...
It is self inflicted to a degree, also remember that some people are just downright nasty... Don't ever take comments from those people seriously... Although I am very self conscious... Which means I will always be hurt :-\
L Katy :-*
I always see something I don't like... that said my worst days are immediately after hair removal (laser or electro) where everything is swollen for a few days and the hair is raised and not shedding yet (laser).
Quote from: ImagineKate on March 14, 2015, 12:16:57 PM
I always see something I don't like... that said my worst days are immediately after hair removal (laser or electro) where everything is swollen for a few days and the hair is raised and not shedding yet (laser).
Ugh yeah I know that feeling! If my electrolysist does a session on my chin I look like desperate Dan
I feel the same way. Especially about seeing a female face in the mirror but seeing an ugly monster in photos.
We are our own worst critiques. I hate my nose, and my profile. But others say they don't see it. I think you are in the same boat. It is hard not to like what you see in the mirror our pictures. Why not experiment and try different angles that bring out the best side for you? I know all women do this same thing!
ughh!! I know how you feel about that, I feel awful when I am having to grow out my facial hair for electro, I feel really gross until the swelling has gone down and i can shave again. I wish there was a pill that could just get rid of facial and body hair. it is kind of ironic that I have to something that is severely dysphoria-inducing to get rid of something that causes dysphoria, pain from the actual electrolysis part is completely trivial compared to growing out the facial in the first place.
Quote from: Trini on March 14, 2015, 02:03:58 PM
I feel the same way. Especially about seeing a female face in the mirror but seeing an ugly monster in photos.
Lol. Its kind of bizarre... i like the mirror much more.
Not sure what really is more accurate though.
Thanks everyone