Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Topic started by: Amy1988 on March 15, 2015, 06:50:38 AM

Title: My experience with men so far.
Post by: Amy1988 on March 15, 2015, 06:50:38 AM
I've began to notice a peculiar pattern in my experience with men.  First there's the men who don't know me.  They come on to me pretty openly because they don't know.  Then there are men who know me and know I'm a transsexual.  They come on to me but only when no one else is around.  I noticed a distinct pattern with these dudes and I have come to resent the hell out of it.  From now on I'm going to make it publicly known to as many people as I can when some dude makes advances but doesn't want anyone to know because they are embarrassed about it.  It's really really insulting. I'm going publicly embarrasse these @#$%s from now on.

Mod edit: No swears please.
Title: Re: My experience with men so far.
Post by: Laura_7 on March 15, 2015, 06:59:27 AM
I would advise to go the other way around...

if people don't treat you right they might not be meant for you... I wouldn't invest any emotions, good or bad ones, just letting them go...

and you're probably a nice being and have something to offer... you might look for people who value that, they are out there... just take your time, the right one you can click with will come along...


hugs
Title: Re: My experience with men so far.
Post by: justpat on March 15, 2015, 07:11:03 AM
   I would strongly advise against that..The probability of them becoming very hostile is to great and definitely not worth the risk and or the consequences of them being enraged and taking it out on YOU !
Title: Re: My experience with men so far.
Post by: Ms Grace on March 15, 2015, 07:11:15 AM
I'd just cut them out completely. If they're only willing to hit on you in private then just tell them to leave you alone, go away and not come back. If you try to embarrass them there's a chance it could backfire or escalate.
Title: Re: My experience with men so far.
Post by: Amy1988 on March 15, 2015, 11:55:14 AM
Quote from: Ms Grace on March 15, 2015, 07:11:15 AM
I'd just cut them out completely. If they're only willing to hit on you in private then just tell them to leave you alone, go away and not come back. If you try to embarrass them there's a chance it could backfire or escalate.

It's mostly men at work and most are married which is really disturbing.  Anyway I'm going to out em.
Title: Re: My experience with men so far.
Post by: Beth Andrea on March 15, 2015, 12:06:08 PM
That could backfire on you...you might get a reputation for "blabbing secrets" when they trusted you to not out them. Sure, it probably won't affect those who genuinely like you...but managers (and other higher-ups) like to know they can trust a worker to not "out" people, ideas, the company, etc.

No one will tell you they don't trust you...but you may feel the sudden chill in the air.

Take the high road, and let the embarrassed ones go their own way.
Title: Re: My experience with men so far.
Post by: Laura_7 on March 15, 2015, 12:30:02 PM
Quote from: Amy1988 on March 15, 2015, 11:55:14 AM
It's mostly men at work and most are married which is really disturbing.  Anyway I'm going to out em.
I understand you very well *hugs*
It might have even come as a surprise...

but you might tell them clearly that you are looking for a relationship (assuming you are)...
and leave it at that... maybe even laugh it off...
and see it as a hint that you are really sexy :)
its ok to vent here, that might help... but penting up anger is not good, it just binds energy...
I'd let them go and concentrate on things I want...
I'd say don't let this make you harder, just be yourself and concentrate on good stuff :)
Title: Re: My experience with men so far.
Post by: Amy1988 on March 15, 2015, 04:43:22 PM
Quote from: Laura_7 on March 15, 2015, 12:30:02 PM
I understand you very well *hugs*
It might have even come as a surprise...

but you might tell them clearly that you are looking for a relationship (assuming you are)...
and leave it at that... maybe even laugh it off...
and see it as a hint that you are really sexy :)
its ok to vent here, that might help... but penting up anger is not good, it just binds energy...
I'd let them go and concentrate on things I want...
I'd say don't let this make you harder, just be yourself and concentrate on good stuff :)

Yeah probably good advice.  My sister laughed and told me welcome to girl world.  I Need to leave this company.  I was transferred to another department because my boss was hitting on me.  Too many people know me there.  I need a fresh start where no one knows me.