Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: CaptFido87 on March 16, 2015, 11:04:18 PM

Title: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on March 16, 2015, 11:04:18 PM
Hi Folks,

So I'm going to a transgender event in Chicago on April 4th. Here's what I'm a little worried about. I plan on going to this event as Sammi (My female self). The thing that really worries me is how to approach it. Seeing as kind of pissed off my girl friends, idk how much help I'm going to get from them. So this is likely to be me figuring this all on my own.

For starters I really don't know how dress for it. It's a celebration event so it doesn't seem like you need to be dressed to the nines. I have a cute mini skirt and a cute maroon top that I could wear. I was thinking more along the lines of wearing some jeans w/ cute sweater and maybe a cute scarf. I'm strapped with cash so buying something new is really out of the question for this. I also plan on doing my makeup so hopefully I can get it to look nice for this. I have a wig also so maybe I can find something for that too. Any suggestions just let me know.

Now that once I get that part down I'm a little worried/ scared of what it might be like. I'm assuming it'll mostly be dominated with mtf or crossdressers which should make it a little easier to be around. I just don't what to expect from something like this. Anyone who's been to an event like this before have any suggestions or advice? I don't want to be a sore thumb standing in the corner minding my own business. I looking to have fun and find out who I really am. If this event goes successfully than I know I'm making the right choice with my life.

Thank you,
Marty (Sammi)
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: chefskenzie on March 16, 2015, 11:15:11 PM
I think you will be fine!  Most places with events have people who are new like you, and those who have been there for a while!  I think you will quickly find yourself at home, and be amazed at how comfortable you are.

What are you the most comfortable in when it comes to clothes?  How long will the event be? 
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on March 16, 2015, 11:16:35 PM
Thanks I'm sure I'll have fun. The event is either 4 or 5 hrs.
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: chefskenzie on March 16, 2015, 11:19:36 PM
I asked because for me, going to an event, I wouldn't wear heels for that long because I would pass out!  I also try and think about if it will be indoors or out, if I will be cold, or hot.  Then dress accordingly.  Try not to be too scared, I understand though that it is the unknown!
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on March 16, 2015, 11:27:44 PM
Well if I heals  :'(. No I was planning on just my gym shoes. Yea the temp is something I've been wondering about. I'm pretty tough so I could handle wearing a sweater indoors for a time frame if I had to. The reason I'm a little skeptical in wearing what I have now is that they aren't really the best type of clothing for someone my age. They look cute but idk if I could wear them out ya know. they're a little much for someone my age and make me look a little 'skimpy'. So that's why I was thinking of going with just basic late winter/ fall apparel. kind of fits the mood to me.

Yea I'm scared of everything so I'll do alright I guess
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: chefskenzie on March 16, 2015, 11:57:13 PM
One thing I LOVE to wear, and have TONS of are Maxi Dresses.  They look good on my frame, are age appropriate, and COMFY but stylish!
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on March 17, 2015, 12:09:08 AM
Yea I would love to own a few dresses myself. The just flow so perfectly. I love it
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: Cindy on March 17, 2015, 12:14:25 AM
Hi Sammi,

At the last transgender conference I ran there were lots of 'first timers'. Everyone is nice a friendly and you will be in a safe place.

The problem may be after you leave as it can be a let down to go from one place where you are totally accepted and normal to back home where you may not be out and accepted. So treat your feelings carefully.

And Enjoy!!
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: michelle on March 17, 2015, 12:51:24 AM
However,   you decide to dress to go to the convention, just dress in a way that you are comfortable with and can maintain a reasonable presentation.   Maybe take several outfits that you really like and you are comfortable in and dress as the occasion calls for.
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: MugwortPsychonaut on March 17, 2015, 11:36:58 AM
It's counter-intuitive, but sometimes I find that dressing more androgynously and less femmy, leads people to read me more often as "female."

Take what you want from that.
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: suzifrommd on March 17, 2015, 11:48:50 AM
Most important thing to wear: A smile.  ;D

Enjoy yourself. It isn't a test. You can't fail (unless you fail to have a good time).
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: gennee on March 17, 2015, 06:25:23 PM
I understand the nerves, Sammi. Go and enjoy yourself and relax.


:)
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on March 20, 2015, 06:22:19 PM
Ok here's what I managed to put together here at home for this event. What do you guys think. Will this work fine? I thought it was fine enough for the event.

ps this is my sister's mirror. Idk why she has such a stupid mirror but it's hard to see your self it in.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1283.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa547%2FMarty_Schuler%2FMy_Transition%2FIMG_20150319_113504_961_zpsjfipjy6e.jpg&hash=b3d9664168f53a792ac45cb18dfa310f3cbce718) (http://s1283.photobucket.com/user/Marty_Schuler/media/My_Transition/IMG_20150319_113504_961_zpsjfipjy6e.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: Rachel on March 20, 2015, 06:51:16 PM
Hey, who is the pretty girl in the pic :)

You look great, have fun.
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on March 20, 2015, 08:26:16 PM
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on March 20, 2015, 06:51:16 PM
Hey, who is the pretty girl in the pic :)

You look great, have fun.

Aww shucks  :embarrassed:  ;) Thank you
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: ChiGirl on March 20, 2015, 11:03:54 PM
That's great.  I'm so proud!  Chicago in April is tough.  Could be 70. Could be 20. On the same day. [emoji6]

What is the event?  I live here and I didn't even know about it.
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: chefskenzie on March 21, 2015, 11:06:24 AM
YAY!  You look great! Have fun hon
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on March 21, 2015, 04:23:27 PM
Thanks folks! Chigirl I posted about it In the support page area. It's on April 4th center on halsted. $10 at door or $5 online. Event is 5pm to 9 or so. You should go if your free.
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: Future_Tense_Spence on March 21, 2015, 04:34:11 PM
Sammi, you look awesome!  You've got nothing to worry about -- there will be plenty of other "first-timers."  Just remember to breathe.   ;)

I hope you have a great time!
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on March 21, 2015, 04:50:06 PM
Well if the people there are as friendly as you folks I know I'll be in good hands lol. I'm really excited for it.
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: Tessa James on March 21, 2015, 04:59:12 PM
I was in Chicago recently and heard nothing but good things about the Center on Halsted.  Our friend Suzi has the best advice for what to wear, a smile, and that pic of you in the crazy mirror deserves to be your avatar--you look great :D
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on March 21, 2015, 05:11:51 PM
Haha thanks I just might. Maybe with a different mirror though. I really do hate it lol
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: chefskenzie on March 21, 2015, 05:59:15 PM
Will you message me the info so I can add it onto our Calendar if it isn't already there?
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on March 22, 2015, 12:24:40 PM
Yea I'll send you a link.
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on April 04, 2015, 06:46:27 PM
OK so I'm here at the event and it seems to be fun so far. A good handful of people. I'll be honest I'm like beyond terrified right now lol.

And for those of you who are afriad of being judged on if you pass or not. Trust me nobody cares. There's people here who clearly don't pass and they are rockin it. Nobody cares and that's cool. Such a cool environment. I'll try to take some pictures too
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: Mariah on April 04, 2015, 07:18:03 PM
Relax and have fun. Please keep us posted on how it goes for you. You've got this. Good luck
Mariah
Quote from: CaptFido87 on April 04, 2015, 06:46:27 PM
OK so I'm here at the event and it seems to be fun so far. A good handful of people. I'll be honest I'm like beyond terrified right now lol.

And for those of you who are afriad of being judged on if you pass or not. Trust me nobody cares. There's people here who clearly don't pass and they are rockin it. Nobody cares and that's cool. Such a cool environment. I'll try to take some pictures too
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: chefskenzie on April 04, 2015, 07:59:41 PM
So glad you are enjoying yourself!!
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: kittenpower on April 04, 2015, 08:05:26 PM
Quote from: CaptFido87 on April 04, 2015, 06:46:27 PM
OK so I'm here at the event and it seems to be fun so far. A good handful of people. I'll be honest I'm like beyond terrified right now lol.

And for those of you who are afriad of being judged on if you pass or not. Trust me nobody cares. There's people here who clearly don't pass and they are rockin it. Nobody cares and that's cool. Such a cool environment. I'll try to take some pictures too

Have fun, and I'm looking forward to seeing some pictures.
Title: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: ImagineKate on April 05, 2015, 01:35:55 AM
Sounds like you're having fun!

As for passing/not passing I think that's kind of the point. These events are for and by the community and as such they won't judge you even if you don't pass.
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: mfox on April 05, 2015, 08:39:05 AM
Quote from: CaptFido87 on April 04, 2015, 06:46:27 PM
OK so I'm here at the event and it seems to be fun so far. A good handful of people. I'll be honest I'm like beyond terrified right now lol.

And for those of you who are afriad of being judged on if you pass or not. Trust me nobody cares. There's people here who clearly don't pass and they are rockin it. Nobody cares and that's cool. Such a cool environment. I'll try to take some pictures too

You rock, sometimes it's hard to keep up the courage when you're about to go out those first times, but it sounds like you had a good experience.  Let us know how it went! :)
Title: Re: Going out my first time dressed up and I'm a little worried
Post by: CaptFido87 on April 05, 2015, 11:12:04 AM
Oh it was so much fun. I met a bunch of cool trans people. I met a few ftm who were really cool too. I wasn't really expecting to see any. So that was a neat experience. Obviously a bunch of Mtf as well as a couple gay guys. So I had some funny conversations with a few of them.

We danced to some good music too. Than we went to a local bar across the street as well. I met a few people who I became friends with and we talked about the hrt process, which they had just started about 2 months ago. I'll post Picts later. Thanks again for the loving