I have the forms already filled out and managed to scrape together the funds, when would folks say it's best to do a legal name change? Since I'm not changing it drastically and my birthname is andro enough to remain a nickname...
Would it help in the whole transitioning process to do it sooner? Or should I wait until I've seen the Psych a couple times etc.
I've been debating this too. When you update a drivers license does it expire four years from when the name is changed or do you end up having to go back in on the old expire date?
I am very lucky that my real name is three neutral names so I can leave my name exactly the way it is and just pronounce it differently and change a single letter from "M" to "F"
I cry when I think about people being forced to change who they truly are in order to shine through in a name that was forced upon them by a culture. There's nothing wrong with choosing a new name, but if you don't want to.... then why do it?
Mine kept the old expiration date even though almost everything else including the number attached to it changed. Each state or country may handle it differently though.
Mariah
It all depends on when your ready to do it. It's personal preference really. Some wait tell after getting the okay from the Phych and some jump right into doing it at the point they feel comfortable. It really comes down to your needs during your transition and when it feels best to do it. My birth name was andro enough, but the nickname attached to it wasn't and that was a source of pain in and of its self to cause me to change it early rather than later or some would have tried to carry on like I hadn't transitioned. My doing it sooner really was necessary. Go with whatever route is most comfortable and works for you. Good luck and Hugs.
Mariah
Quote from: LoriLorenz on March 19, 2015, 05:15:43 AM
I have the forms already filled out and managed to scrape together the funds, when would folks say it's best to do a legal name change? Since I'm not changing it drastically and my birthname is andro enough to remain a nickname...
Would it help in the whole transitioning process to do it sooner? Or should I wait until I've seen the Psych a couple times etc.
For me, I'm waiting until this summer, but the only reason is because my parents wouldn't let me before I started hormones, and summer is the first break after I turned 18 when I have enough time to go, get the fingerprint tests, post the notice, etc. I also know guys who changed their name well before they started hormones. And then guys who never change their name. Whenever you feel comfortable changing it, then that's a good time to change it.
Quote from: Alexthecat on March 19, 2015, 07:37:47 AM
I've been debating this too. When you update a drivers license does it expire four years from when the name is changed or do you end up having to go back in on the old expire date?
It varies depending on the state's policy.
I changed from a feminine to androgynous name, so I didn't have to worry about whether I was transitioned. I could see waiting for the physical transition to start if it's masculine, but if it's androgynous I don't see the harm in changing it immediately.
Even with the neutral name, I gave it a year-long test run with family and friends to see if it felt right, and I was still committed, before doing the legal change. Unless you want it now very badly, a trial period might be worth considering. It could also earn you Responsibility Points with family and doctors.
Re: Driver Licenses. I got a fresh new one (for $10 or so I think?) the day of the change. New expire date. I'm thinking if my name is legally different, I should make sure the critical IDs and paperwork are up-to-date. (I'm from Washington State, you might want to check your own state's rules.)
These are just my own opinions, though. Of course, do whatever feels right for you.
For me, I've lined up the name change and gender marker change paperwork to be completed by my 26th birthday, so that I can apply for new insurance as male and have no questions asked.
I'm probably going to wait several more months, since the name change is $137.00 plus $27.00 fee for fingerprinting/crim check. My funds are really limited, and since the name's more andro than feminine... I'll live!
Good info though, thx folks!
Quote from: LoriLorenz on March 20, 2015, 02:59:48 PM
I'm probably going to wait several more months, since the name change is $137.00 plus $27.00 fee for fingerprinting/crim check. My funds are really limited, and since the name's more andro than feminine... I'll live!
Good info though, thx folks!
You can petition the court to wave the fee if it is too much.
Quote from: Alexthecat on March 20, 2015, 03:05:08 PM
You can petition the court to wave the fee if it is too much.
Not sure it works the same here in Canada...
I'll look into it though, Thanks.
I think a person should change their name when it feels right or when there is a legal need/life is harder without changing it.
I began the process the week that I came out at work. For me, that means putting it into the newspaper for a number of weeks and then I go to court. The process takes 5-6 weeks.
I am in a field that requires me to sign my name on documents between 15-20 times per day, so I want the correct name as soon as possible. Too, I want to be able to use my credit card for purchases. I am using cash all the time now as I have started to be questioned about having a female name on the card when I look male. This was sometimes an issue pre-T, but it is a bigger issue now.
Honestly, I have some loss feelings about the name change, but my birth name is not gender neutral at all (although i don't think it is particularly feminine), but I admit I have started to smile quite a bit when people call me the new name at work.
Quote from: LoriLorenz on March 20, 2015, 03:17:49 PM
Not sure it works the same here in Canada...
I'll look into it though, Thanks.
where do you live that you need to get your criminal record checked/finger printing? i live in ontario, and all i had to do was pay the fee for the name change (137) and an extra $20 for a commissioner to stamp it. i've never heard of the finger printing thing though.
as for the name change, i wanted mine done BEFORE i started T, or even getting out in the real world to transition, and do my "real life experience" (which was the requirement at the time). i figured it would be easier instead of having to constantly explain everything to everyone who i needed to use my birth name with. it wasn't as tedious as it could be (thank god my work was understanding, i didn't have my name change yet but everything at my work was under my preferred name when i got hired) but it still caused major dysphoria and i hated having to keep explaining my situation when i just wanted to be stealth. my only advice is do it when you're ready. it gets awkward if you're on t and have a feminine name, but if yours is more "andro" as you said, you should be fine, whether you're on t or not.
Quote from: Brett on April 04, 2015, 10:06:54 AM
I am in a field that requires me to sign my name on documents between 15-20 times per day, so I want the correct name as soon as possible. Too, I want to be able to use my credit card for purchases. I am using cash all the time now as I have started to be questioned about having a female name on the card when I look male. This was sometimes an issue pre-T, but it is a bigger issue now.
Brett, are people physically handling your credit card often? It seems like everywhere here, I swipe my own card unless it's at a restaurant. Even then, I've never had anyone say anything about the female name on my card. If it wasn't tied to my bank account, I'm not sure I'd bother getting it changed until it was close to expiry.
When I signed up for a rewards card at a store recently they wanted to use the name on the credit card I was paying with, and I had them put my male name instead. Told them it was my wife's card, as I had lost mine and was waiting for a new one to come in the mail. They didn't even blink.
I'm read as male pretty much all the time now. My birth name is still on my credit card and health insurance, but even when I'm picking up prescriptions and paying with the card, the pharmacy workers mostly assume I'm picking up prescriptions for someone else. (And the ones who do figure it out are generally careful to gender me correctly, which is nice.)
But having to tell someone my full name is excruciating these days (I find I mumble a lot (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fredface.gif&hash=9d047737b5f4a6e3b63a2e608fdc5db36eb1b793)), so the name change is now at the top of my to-do list.
I legally changed my name as soon as I could do so and very early in my transition. Having lived a lie for so long I just wanted to be done with the whole idea of pretending to be male.
Quote from: ftmax on April 04, 2015, 10:38:03 AM
Brett, are people physically handling your credit card often? It seems like everywhere here, I swipe my own card unless it's at a restaurant. Even then, I've never had anyone say anything about the female name on my card. If it wasn't tied to my bank account, I'm not sure I'd bother getting it changed until it was close to expiry.
When I signed up for a rewards card at a store recently they wanted to use the name on the credit card I was paying with, and I had them put my male name instead. Told them it was my wife's card, as I had lost mine and was waiting for a new one to come in the mail. They didn't even blink.
Sometimes even when I swipe it they still want to see the card to see if it was signed on the back.
I just realized that I could use the debit instead of using my bank card as a credit card (I use it as "credit" as it gives me more "points", but really, it comes out of my checking account). Meaning, I can just punch in the numbers. I don 't think I have ever seen a clerk ask anyone for their card if they used it a debit.
Yes, I've had a couple people tell me I needed to give them MY card because the one I was handing them was "my wife's", "a woman's card", etc. Maybe they are extra picky around here?
Quote from: Brett on April 04, 2015, 12:25:17 PM
Sometimes even when I swipe it they still want to see the card to see if it was signed on the back.
I just realized that I could use the debit instead of using my bank card as a credit card (I use it as "credit" as it gives me more "points", but really, it comes out of my checking account). Meaning, I can just punch in the numbers. I don 't think I have ever seen a clerk ask anyone for their card if they used it a debit.
Yes, I've had a couple people tell me I needed to give them MY card because the one I was handing them was "my wife's", "a woman's card", etc. Maybe they are extra picky around here?
That's really interesting! I've never had that issue, and I typically am running mine as credit for the same reason. I agree about the debit - never seen anyone asked for their card after that.
It may come off as rude, but you could also just flash the back of the card to them instead of handing it over. Maybe offer a "no offense, but you touch people's money all day" if someone wants to argue.
I am in that dilemma right now. For me, I want to change my name because I no longer want to hide who I am. As far as helping the transitioning process, I guess that depends on the person.
When I come out fully at work I will need to change my name. There will be confusion and pushback if I come out and keep my legal name and request a chosen name. I will need to change my work ID and employee information and e-mail too. Then there is the issue of expression and bathrooms.
I meet with HR and my boss Thursday and I will review the plan.
Cynthia good luck with your meeting with HR. As much as changing everything over is a pain in truth it is worth it when your ready. In my case, I had to submit everything locally and it had to be sent off to Olympia to be dealt with by the proper department. My insurance was also affected since it's through work.
Mariah
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on April 04, 2015, 02:21:54 PM
I am in that dilemma right now. For me, I want to change my name because I no longer want to hide who I am. As far as helping the transitioning process, I guess that depends on the person.
When I come out fully at work I will need to change my name. There will be confusion and pushback if I come out and keep my legal name and request a chosen name. I will need to change my work ID and employee information and e-mail too. Then there is the issue of expression and bathrooms.
I meet with HR and my boss Thursday and I will review the plan.
I'm actually in the same boat, im around 9 months on T now and I pass pretty well in public, my friends call me Ryan and its just when dealing with like banks or anything that my legal name is attached to that it becomes a pain, my legal name is pretty feminine unfortunately, so its always awkward when i have to deal with it, I know i need to change it soon, I have just been to busy with work and stuff to get to it x.x
Quote from: invisiblemonsters on April 04, 2015, 10:33:33 AM
where do you live that you need to get your criminal record checked/finger printing? i live in ontario, and all i had to do was pay the fee for the name change (137) and an extra $20 for a commissioner to stamp it. i've never heard of the finger printing thing though.
I'm in BC, and I think it's a fairly recent addition to the process? Either that or BC is weird. No biggie, I've been printed before since I work in a field where they require crim checks.
I'm thinking I'll be doing the name change before I get back to work, so that I can coach the other staff on how I want them to gender and refer to me to the students (High School, yay!)