My screen name is a re-used screen name of whom i used to be.
i am finally free, first and foremost!
My intention is to start threads regarding the reversal of transderism. i will in NO way attack others views, opinions, threads or ideals. i am not here to start trouble, but i know deep down the battles many face, and some may want ideas on ways out of this lifestyle.
i can promise you, i am full cured. i am born a man, who at one point wanted to be a woman. That no longer exists me and has been gone for two years now.
i also understand no two people are alike so to speak. My aim is to discuss concepts that helped me as to inspire others, even ones who find my scribblings on google. i believe words can have a huge impact on another. i have learned so darn much, it would be selfish of me to keep it to myself. i never wanted nor desired to come back here, that chapter is happily closed in my life. But i feel i am strong enough to come back and offer help.
i will not enable, i will be upfront and honest and i can only pray the mods here watch and give me half a chance to inspire people. Not everyone whom is a transgender is one in the true sense of the word. It's all psychological, it's fantasy.
i changed my life, and life is so much more meaningful now after facing my demons and figuring out the exact causes of my former plight. i know i can help others. i can't keep this blessing to myself...
Also, i promise not to be over bearing, but more like a therapist. Yes, i am set in certain belief systems, but i would never shove that down anyone's throat, i know how that feels and also know it accomplishes nothing.
Wow,
I have mixed emotions about you...
It's not because you decided to stay a man. There is actually a non-transitioning/detransitioning thread on here. Some could use that help. It's because you said "It's all psychological, it's fantasy."
If you came on here to talk about religion, there is a religion thread.
If you wish to talk about science, the brain and the endocrine system, I'm game. If you want to talk Christianity, I'm game. However, never tell me that is is purely psychological. You are very wrong.
Jennifer
In before the lock? Jennifer's right. That fantasy line doesn't help your credibility.
i expect there will be many whom will discount this article. i understand, been there, done that when folks said things i didn't want to hear. i refuse to fight with anyone nor will i troll anyone. This is article is for those whom desire to change, to reverse things and get a fresh start. See the intro section for my intorduction and my intent.
Yes, i have been here before when i saw through the eyes of someone whom i truly wasn't...
i have my own dream you see. i dream to share the things i have learned and help shape the lives of people who want a way out of this lifestyle. i want no credit nor noteriety. My payback is my spiritual bank account so to speak. All of my writing is hereby copyright free to share. i want nor expect nothing.
i also know how fragile some are, as i was.
Anyways, anyone interested in alternative view (Not enabling views), keep up, if they allow me to stay around. It's an uphill battle in a world full of people who are falsly sure of themselves and catered to in a politically correct society.
Life is a choice.
Our thoughts are a choice.
Our views are a choice.
i used to find that hard to believe. i used to scoff at people who are like who i am now. Till i jumped the fence and saw that life wasn't so complicated! lol
i truly believe ->-bleeped-<- in many is psychological. It's not up to me to decide that in each i dividual, they, you, have to be completely honest with yourself to know this.
This is a game changer, are you done? Ready for change? Ready for the long haul? It's a choice for many (They just don't believe, know or think it is).
You can choose who you are you know, it's very possible.
What is "the transgender lifestyle"?
I'm a senior scientist and I work 40+ hours a week. I'm still married. I have step children (I couldn't father children). I'm going out in the morning to spend the rest of the weekend with my grand children. I own a resort and I work there many weekends. I have a house, a nice car. I spend each lunch in prayer reading "A slice of Infinity". I work with individuals who have undergone sexual violence.
It's more or less the same as before except I'm happier and I spend more time getting ready for work because I want to look nice.
Jennifer
P.S. This post really belongs in the " non-transitioning/detransitioning" forum.
i understand...
Yes, i would like to post to the proper areas of the forum for sure.
i'm not about being right or wrong. Only the individual who reads this will know these things will know.
i care not for my credibility, i already new these things would come. i'm not here to fight and refuse to engage in fussing.
i believe Susan's is a good place, so long as their is balance. As you pointed out there is a forum section for that and i will make use of it.
It's purely up to the reader to decide for themselves what they want in life.
Few walk the trail against the easy thought pattern, which makes it psychological. The mind can be hard wired in many ways, i cluding ->-bleeped-<-. Anything, or thought pattern can be an addiction, including but not limited to being a transgender. i will not condemn those who wish to remain in that lifestyle, that's the Lord's job. (Edit: My apologies. It's the Lord's job should He see it to be sin or not based on the individual, cannot make that call if it's sin or not.)
i've got many stories to tell that will help, so long as i'm extended that oppertunity.
Becuase you believe 100% you are whom you are, doesn't mean others believe that within themselves and might be better suited finding the root of why they are, the way they are. i also understand most will not take this oppertunity and merely scoff. Again, i refuse to fight. i am at peace, and have nothing to prove nor gain. i love people, and wish to share what i learned.
i want to help promote ideas, not just my own. Time will tell, the mods can wipe me out at anytime. It would not be justice to delete my writing or account simlply because i am offering an alternative view.
Susan is welcome to my full name, address and phone number...
i have nothing to hide.
Scar, nothing negative here. I am glad you shared your experience. I am happy you purportedly found your peace, unfortunately your "choice" is not my reality. Although you may think you've been there, done that, you've never been me, done this. I spent too many years trying to "choose" away my reality. Now I "choose" to be happy being the trans woman I am with a good mix of laughs and tears. I no longer even wish this away.
That said, I really wish you the best.
Quote from: JLT1 on March 21, 2015, 01:05:38 AM
What is "the transgender lifestyle"?
I'm a senior scientist and I work 40+ hours a week. I'm still married. I have step children (I couldn't father children). I'm going out in the morning to spend the rest of the weekend with my grand children. I own a resort and I work there many weekends. I have a house, a nice car. I spend each lunch in prayer reading "A slice of Infinity". I work with individuals who have undergone sexual violence.
It's more or less the same as before except I'm happier and I spend more time getting ready for work because I want to look nice.
Jennifer
P.S. This post really belongs in the " non-transitioning/detransitioning" forum.
Jennifer, can the mods please move it to the proper forum? i did look before posting and didn't see anything that stood out so i posted here.
Jennifer, i am not here to judge nor condemn...
Just offering an alternative view, that's all...
Quote from: TracyCakes on March 21, 2015, 01:37:41 AM
Scar, nothing negative here. I am glad you shared your experience. I am happy you purportedly found your peace, unfortunately your "choice" is not my reality. Although you may think you've been there, done that, you've never been me, done this. I spent too many years trying to "choose" away my reality. Now I "choose" to be happy being the trans woman I am with a good mix of laughs and tears. I no longer even wish this away.
That said, I really wish you the best.
Thank you (Warm smiles). As said to Jennifer, just offering an alternative view. i too wish you the best. :)
Quote from: scarboroughfair2015 on March 21, 2015, 12:55:17 AM
You can choose who you are you know, it's very possible.
I can choose many things but I can not choose my hair color, skin color, number of toes or limbs. My sense of my body is not what is physically there. I have something like phantom limb feelings and that is not something that I can simply choose not to have. Trans is not a lifestyle. It is a physical problem. There is no choice.
Quote from: LordKAT on March 21, 2015, 01:49:48 AM
I can choose many things but I can not choose my hair color, skin color, number of toes or limbs. My sense of my body is not what is physically there. I have something like phantom limb feelings and that is not something that I can simply choose not to have. Trans is not a lifestyle. It is a physical problem. There is no choice.
And i wish you the best. :)
That's a better post...
Perhaps I understand a little more than you believe. If a transition is wrong for you, it would be wrong to do on so many levels. There are others for whom it would be wrong as well. For me, the goal is not to encourage transition but to encourage the person. If transition is right for them, they'll figure it out and I'll support them. If it is wrong, they will know and they deserve support as well. However, if it is wrong for you and you are running around here dabbling all over, it could cause you problems..... However, you may find closure on that part of your life. I'm guessing but solidifying your new life might just be why you are here.
Still puzzled about the "transgender lifestyle" thing you keep talking about.
Jennifer
Actually I have looked at the possibility that I was, in a moment of weakness, given and encouraged to start the road to transition. But after reviewing my journal notes, I was questioning my gender/sex before I sought out "the community", which then offered encouragement but also offered the advice of caution, and to take it slow.
Since then I have thought about detransitioning, as a "what if...?" thought exercise...and given that my mind has full and free reign to think what it will (what you refer to as "choice"), the answer is always the same: I must transition.
I've also heard the same argument regarding depression (that it is a choice, and one can simply whisk their way out of depression by looking at life differently than now...quite frankly, except for rare "miraculous" cures (which do happen), for most people medication and therapy is the only effective route. I suspect that most of us won't be able to choose to not be trans...but it doesn't hurt to question ourselves, even if briefly.
Nice post Beth. I can relate....
Hugs
Jennifer
Quote from: JLT1 on March 21, 2015, 01:52:33 AM
That's a better post...
Perhaps I understand a little more than you believe. If a transition is wrong for you, it would be wrong to do on so many levels. There are others for whom it would be wrong as well. For me, the goal is not to encourage transition but to encourage the person. If transition is right for them, they'll figure it out and I'll support them. If it is wrong, they will know and they deserve support as well. However, if it is wrong for you and you are running around here dabbling all over, it could cause you problems..... However, you may find closure on that part of your life. I'm guessing but solidifying your new life might just be why you are here.
Still puzzled about the "transgender lifestyle" thing you keep talking about.
Jennifer
My Jenny...
i have been thinking since i posted this. You are correct, this has to be done correctly. Based on my belief system, i cannot encourage. The problem lies in that, my situation is unique to me.. So i have to remain very open minded. i promise not to be a lose cannon making off the cuff remarks on threads and deliberately discouraging folks.
My approach thus far is going to be modeled where i write an article. Then if someone asks, we can work together. If i see a thread where someone is looking for or entertaining the idea of a way out, i will respond, but carefully. i understand how delicate this is, maybe not fully, but enough not to shove my personal views, experiences or beliefs down people's throat.
What do i mean by lifestyle?
Well, i didn't come here to insult anyone...
Based on my personal bible study and such, it's lifestyle in my opinion, which i have to stay consistent with.
It's not going to be easy for me either, doing this, being here, writing and dealing with people i mean. i can just walk away and live my life right now and never look back. But what about those who can find another way? What tools do they have? How can i sleep at night if i didn't at least make an effort to help others? If i can help one person, i have helped many. i truly believe in the power of "Habit of tbought", social engineering and many other co-factors that screwed a lot of men out of there manlyhood.
Quote from: JLT1 on March 21, 2015, 01:52:33 AM
That's a better post...
Perhaps I understand a little more than you believe. If a transition is wrong for you, it would be wrong to do on so many levels. There are others for whom it would be wrong as well. For me, the goal is not to encourage transition but to encourage the person. If transition is right for them, they'll figure it out and I'll support them. If it is wrong, they will know and they deserve support as well. However, if it is wrong for you and you are running around here dabbling all over, it could cause you problems..... However, you may find closure on that part of your life. I'm guessing but solidifying your new life might just be why you are here.
Still puzzled about the "transgender lifestyle" thing you keep talking about.
Jennifer
i forgot to mention...
Yes, that part of me is officially dead.
However, the fight isn't over. i have to learn and made a choice to learn how to be a man, not based on societies rules, but that of the Lord's. It has been hard, but i truly love it! i still go through "Programming" plateaus where i'm numb. That's the space between between being a man and a woman. i took a huge leap of faith and am re-building my family. It's working quite effectively! My happiness makes my former desire being a woman pale in comparison. It all started with an idea, to question my automatic thought process and begin to look at other possibilities in life, including but not limited to walking away from my personal transgender feelings, thoughts and lifestyle. i found truth to be my saviour. It's not easy, but much easier than the alternative.
This is why i talk so much about choice.
i made every excuse in the book, denounced God, but in the end, personal truth prevailed because i invited it in. :)
:police: :police: :police:
To preface this post, I will not be responding in this thread again. I'm saying my peace and then I'm going to eat some soup and going to bed.
You need to look at the context of what you're writing. It doesn't matter how politely you frame it. You are either unintentionally or subversively offending people. You may actually mean well. I can't speak to your true intentions, but this is how you are being perceived:
*warm smiles*
*insert condisending backhanded niceties*
*insert projection of personal view on other peoples situation*
*warm smiles*
"Well, they got mad at me for telling them they can be cured of their sickness. Even though I said it in a nice way."
Thats how you came across. Not cool Robert Frost.
Also, you don't define your term "lifestyle" and when you preface it as "tg lifestyle" I get have to wonder how my lifestyle is different from my cis neighbor. Life style dictated by our finances, our dwelling, our occupation, our age and our habbits. You attempted to lump everyone into a single lifestyle. That just illustrates a lack of understanding of how people live and function in the real world.
Before I step down from my soapbox I'd like to ask what is your intent by coming on this community site? Are you here for support? People come here to get support and we also support each other. I believe people are generally good, they want to be kind and helpful. The inquisition happened because the "church" wanted to save people's souls. Dont be an inquisition please.
Good night and good bye.
Quote from: Susan on July 27, 2006, 07:45:44 PM9. If you disapprove of people who are Transgender, Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual; or activities which cross gender boundaries; take your arguments to a more appropriate web site.
Take it to another web site.
Note: To assist them in accomplishing this, I have banned them.
They weren't banned because they wanted to detransition, more power to them if they can actually accomplish that. They weren't banned because they were Christian...
They were banned because they were here to attempt to convert people; to proselytize to what they felt were sinners, and that's not ever acceptable. They can believe what they want but when they attempt to convert others to their beliefs that's a problem... I don't care if you are a Christian, or an Atheist.
Each person here has to come to their own conclusions about the correct path for their own life, and no one here has the right to say what is or is not the right or wrong path for them.
Quote from: Susan on July 27, 2006, 07:45:44 PM16. Please limit religious discussions to the spirituality forum. If a thread in another forum turns into a religious discussion please move the thread to the spirituality forum. Our moderators will assist in this process if necessary. Two restrictions apply to your use of the spirituality boards:
A. You are not to pass judgments on others beliefs, any more than they are welcome to pass judgement on yours.
B. You are free to talk about how your spirituality affects your life, but you cannot proselytize or attempt to convert others.
I remember being "cured" once... didn't stick... ::)
I think I like Simon & Garfunkel's - Scarborough Fair quite a bit better
Thanks all the same though - Have a nice life
I remember them getting in trouble under their original Scarborough fair name.
My oldest sister hates transgender people. We do not talk. She uses the term " lifestyle" to insult, belittle and deny my core essence. She can't define the lifestyle thing either.
Thank you Susan
Hugs
Jen
Quote from: JLT1 on March 21, 2015, 09:04:40 AM
My oldest sister hates transgender people. We do not talk. She uses the term " lifestyle" to insult, belittle and deny my core essence. She can't define the lifestyle thing either.
My family is like this also
I came back to this thread to where it was going...as soon as I saw "my own personal bible study", "leap of faith", and "savior" I knew this thread would be dead to me.
Quote from: Kova V on March 21, 2015, 02:42:26 AM
:police: :police: :police:
To preface this post, I will not be responding in this thread again. I'm saying my peace and then I'm going to eat some soup and going to bed.
You need to look at the context of what you're writing. It doesn't matter how politely you frame it. You are either unintentionally or subversively offending people. You may actually mean well. I can't speak to your true intentions, but this is how you are being perceived:
*warm smiles*
*insert condisending backhanded niceties*
*insert projection of personal view on other peoples situation*
*warm smiles*
"Well, they got mad at me for telling them they can be cured of their sickness. Even though I said it in a nice way."
Thats how you came across. Not cool Robert Frost.
Also, you don't define your term "lifestyle" and when you preface it as "tg lifestyle" I get have to wonder how my lifestyle is different from my cis neighbor. Life style dictated by our finances, our dwelling, our occupation, our age and our habbits. You attempted to lump everyone into a single lifestyle. That just illustrates a lack of understanding of how people live and function in the real world.
Before I step down from my soapbox I'd like to ask what is your intent by coming on this community site? Are you here for support? People come here to get support and we also support each other. I believe people are generally good, they want to be kind and helpful. The inquisition happened because the "church" wanted to save people's souls. Dont be an inquisition please.
Good night and good bye.
Well said.
They got me to pray the gay away twice and I came back to the fold. It was the most miserable time of my life. I finally had a breakdown and went into a psych ward where i got REAL help. My parents were forced into counseling before they could see me. Even then I could not face them, so the hospital kept them at bay for me.
My previous primary care doctor tried a version of this and saw it wasn't working and passed the buck off. Hence his chart notes he posted show this "refer to partner who has dealt with transgender issues. Discussion of my own considerations as a provider, patients determination, etc., make this necessay,"
Mariah
I suppose the part that is frustrating to me is that this is a discussion we should have. We should discuss options because this is a serious proposition. The problem with this dude (sorry for not calling him they) didn't propose a single step to help make an informed decision. Believe me, I would never actively encourage someone to proceed with transition unless they were ready. And by the time people come here, they are pretty much in that mindset. So, for that reason I'm supportive. But I have made many posts to people cautioning them to be careful, seek quality therapy, and doctors concerning all the issues. I would never want to steer someone to something they don't want to do.
BUT... here's the thing. When I was being run out of Salt Lake City, I met with my CEO at work. He was also a fairly high up church leader. He told me the reason I wanted to do this was because I had been attending meetings and I had been convinced that this was what I wanted. My response? "If you attended a one hour meeting every day for a year about becoming a woman, would you be willing to cut your dick off?" And that pretty much left his mouth yammering for something cogent to say. It also ended the meeting.
Cindi
Great for you, that you're at peace with yourself.
But your insistence that being trans is a lifestyle choice is truly condescending. That right there, shuts down what could have been an open door to somebody seeking support for detransitioning.
I feel it is highly appropriate that this offer to "save" us nonsense was banned from a support site for transgender people. There is a place here for detransitioning discourse. That condescending and hurtful garbage has been around a long time. I too have had family and friends offer to explain me as possessed by demons, confused and addicted to a lifestyle. Trite, belittling and simply wrong.
So called "conversion or reparative therapy" is misguided at best and adds to the suicide and depression rates for us. Oregon and other states are now looking at banning such medieval practices with support from medical and psychology folks.
Is not religion more a llifestyle choice being it is based on a belief?
I am confused thinking I destroyed a marriage that I was happy in at the time for a lifestyle.
Anyway I found my cure and to me I am would not trade if for all the written paper in the world .
He seemed like an interesting guy to engage in conversation with. I wish I could have done that before he was banned, so I could see where he was coming from.
Oh, well. It probably wasn't worth the stress to engage anyways.
So glad I'm in a safe place! :)
Ah. I missed the banning. Stupid Tapatalk app, I miss lots.
Therapy, blood tests, injections, electrolysis, surgeries, losing friends, marriages, jobs and family members, intentionally casting yourself upon the bottom rung of society and subjecting yourself to an increased likelihood of being destitute or beaten, raped and murdered...
And people call this a lifestyle? Seriously?
This is me steering away from a deathstyle.
Quote from: Jill F on March 22, 2015, 02:06:32 AM
Therapy, blood tests, injections, electrolysis, surgeries, losing friends, marriages, jobs and family members, intentionally casting yourself upon the bottom rung of society and subjecting yourself to an increased likelihood of being destitute or beaten, raped and murdered...
And people call this a lifestyle? Seriously?
This is me steering away from a deathstyle.
Thankfully, I did miss the being murdered part. I've been raped a few times, nearly beaten to death, heavily discriminated against, and paid 3 times the going rate for child support. I went through some tough times. I am very thankful that times have changed and transgender children are being encouraged. I believe our society is coming around to acceptance generally. There will always be those who will disagree in a violent way. Sometimes, I wish I had been born twenty years later. But then, of course, I would have missed the moon landing with Neil Armstrong. ;)
You know what I don't get? If some men are so dead set against us.... why would they rape us? I've never been able to understand that.
Cindi