So, I've been having really bad dysphoria lately.. I keep wanting to correct my mom or friends when they call me by female pronouns or my given name (even though I haven't really picked out a name yet. I just hear my name as feminine and it bothers me even though its gender neutral). It's never really felt this bad before. My chest is my biggest problem right now and I just want to get top surgery already, but I'm only 17 and broke. I know I have to come out to my mom to start testosterone, if she even lets me. The dysphoria is just killing me and my binder is stretching out, so that's not helping me.
I'm also really scared of how people will react to me telling them I'm trans. I'm so scared, but I just can't take this anymore. Does anyone have any advice on coming out to... well, everyone?
Thanks,
Skylar.
*hugs*
You could have a look here for a few thoughts that might help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184920.msg1644403.html#msg1644403
I'd say take the time you need... many have gone through this before and succeeded, and people here will try to support you.
And you might keep asking questions, alone writing might help getting a clearer view on a few things....
hugs
Hi Skylar,
For bad dysphoria I used distractions. I am a science geek so I do science experiments. Also, I game one particular game and I am a high level.
If you are in high school, is there a school counselor you can meet and discuss how you feel?
About coming out. You need to be ready for your Mom to need information.
Perhaps going to a trans group will help too.
Skylar,
its never easy to come out, and there are some people that you just can't get away with not telling. I know its painful to look in the mirror and see someone else standing there. (I used to think of my breasts as tumors). You are very close to being able to make your own decisions. I know it probably seems like a long ways away.
If you don't have a plan, try to make one. If you can start a job to start your own savings, do so. Even a small part time job will help. When it comes time to out yourself, go easy with your mom. She is probably the best person to start with since its highly unlikely that she will pass the information along to someone else. She is also the most important person. You might be surprised. She may already know more than you think.
Do what you can now to help yourself along. Hair, dress, body language, all of which you may have already done. One thing that helped me before I was able to come out to my mother was to start wearing guys underwear. I would get my brother's clean underwear out of the dryer and wear them. It doesn't sound like it would help much, but it really did. If you don't have brothers, just do your own laundry so your mom won't see the underwear.
17 isn't an easy age even if you aren't a transgender. Hold on to who you are and where you are going. You may have to deal with some people who don't agree with what you are doing. That always burned me. The same people who liked me when they thought I was a female, changed their minds when I had to tell them. That is on them, not you. From there, you don't have to tell anyone. Once you start HRT, just pass if you want to. I never had a problem with that even before HRT. I think people are too embarrassed to try and put a pronoun to you if they aren't sure. If they do, just correct them and let them be the ones who are embarrassed.
You'll get plenty of support here.
sam1234