Poll
Question:
Your sexual orientation (going by gender, not birth sex) prior to transition?
Option 1: Straight man who has only wanted and been with women prior to transition
Option 2: Straight woman who has only wanted and been with men prior to transition
Option 3: Straight man who had only been with men prior to transition
Option 4: Straight women who had only been with women prior to transition
Option 5: Straight man who had been bisexual in action prior to transition
Option 6: Straight woman who had been bisexual in action prior to transition
Option 7: Gay man who only wanted and had been with men prior to transition
Option 8: Lesbian who only wanted and had been with women prior to transition
Option 9: Gay man who had only been with women prior to transition
Option 10: Lesbian who had only been with men prior to transition
Option 11: Gay man who had been bisexual in action prior to transition
Option 12: Lesbian who had been bisexual in action prior to transition
Option 13: Bisexual man who had been bisexual in thought and action prior to transition
Option 14: Bisexual woman who had been bisexual in thought and action prior to transition
Option 15: Bisexual man who had only been with men prior to transition
Option 16: Bisexual woman who had only been with women prior to transition
Option 17: Bisexual man who had only been with women prior to transition
Option 18: Bisexual woman who had only been with men prior to transition
Option 19: Asexual man who had only been with men prior to transition
Option 20: Asexual woman who had only been with men prior to transition
Option 21: Asexual man who had only been with women prior to transition
Option 22: Asexual woman who had only been with women prior to tranition
Option 23: Asexual man who was bisexual prior to transition
Option 24: Asexual woman who was bisexual prior to transition
Option 25: I'd never been with anyone prior to transition
Good afternoon guys and dolls, and welcome to Nero's Not-so Pointless Poll for the Day!
I'm curious as to the percentage here who were straight (liked same physical or assigned sex) in attraction and practice prior to transition.
That's - only liked and been with women for transmen, and only liked and been with men for transwomen prior to transition and/or coming out as trans.
And curious as to all members sexual orientation prior to transition.
Elaboration on your vote strongly desired.
This informative poll was brought to you by our sponsor 107.6 N.E.R.O. Bringing you the best in inspired rants and informative polls non-stop, every hour on the hour, with no commercial breaks.
I was born male but was always a woman (whether known to me or not, it is now official so to speak). Since I only prefer females I answered as a lesbian..
Kim :angel:
Before transition, I was Bi, and I'd go back and forth on what I liked. Previously to transition, I was mostly with women and only one guy. I'd say that I was mostly attracted to women.
Now after transitioning, I'm with my girlfriend still and I've been with one guy. I've gone back and fourth on what I'm attracted too -- I'd be attracted to females for a while, and then males.
Having slept with both sexes before and after starting my transition (only on HRT now, I haven't had surgery yet), I'd have to say I can't totally enjoy sexual relations fully until I get surgery. I hope anyway.
Previously to transitioning, I was with a lot of people hoping that I'd feel complete. It didn't work. I liked foreplay, but for me, sex was boring and didn't do much for me. Mentally, it was awkward. I knew who I was inside, so using my birth appendage felt strange, unsatisfying, and numb.
After HRT, I find the appendage doesn't work that well anyway, and it's the same thing. It's unfortunate for my girlfriend, which has created months and months of strain on our relationship. I totally understand her point. Toys are not that interesting for her, and they don't replace the intimacy of having someone in you (and I can understand that and appreciate that). Although she's attracted to me, she's pretty much straight. So, there is a degree of difficulty in that aspect. I don't get much out of being sexual with her, but I still like to hold her or have her hold me. She's tried doing stuff to me, but she generally has tried to do the typical straight thing (suck my appendage, grab it, play with it, etc) -- stuff I found very awkward.
She has never been in a lesbian relationship before, so I can understand how difficult it can be to know what to do or how to work a lesbian relationship. I'm in the same boat, I've been with women before but the dynamic was that of a straight relationship.
And since I have been living full time for a year, I find it more and more awkward to use it to accommodate and make her happy and get the strain out of the relationship. It tears me apart, actually. But I can't go back and be someone I'm not.
As for men, there was one incident. Being held and treated like a girl was a really good feeling for me. I never felt it before (it's different than a gay-man relationship). I think it was the one incident that made me realize what I wanted and needed in a relationship. The actual sex part was okay, but still I felt like something was missing.
And then again comes the thought: I'm not going to fully enjoy this until I'm complete.
So, now, I know what I want in a relationship. I think it's more of the dynamic of the relationship, rather than the gender. I don't know where I'll end up after surgery, I may end up sticking with a gender or maybe not. I think it would be important for me to explore my sexuality for a while after surgery.
My girlfriend, of course, is having trouble with all of this, and understandably so. And I would too, if I were in a relationship with someone going through such a huge growth and change. It's not easy for either party.
I was born "male?" but knew I was female for some reason. I have only had two sexual encounters and one was with a male friend of mine when we were about 13 or 14. I liked it and was always the passive one. Then later on it was with my wife and that is it. I guess you would call it experimenting when I was younger.
Sheila
Ok, this is a bit confusing. I'm not sure if I am understanding this correctly. You want us to choose the orientation we thought we would end up before transition AND who we had been with? Or do you want the orientation we ended up AND who we had been with before transition?
I'm bisexual now, I thought I would be lesbian before transition and I had only been with women (although very few) prior to transition. I'm not sure which answer on your poll this would be. ???
NOTE for Nero:
Due to this confusion, I edited the poll to allow people to remove votes in case they were confused like me and marked it wrong, so they could fix it for more accuracy.
QuoteI'd never been with anyone prior to transition - 1 (10%)
Which really doesn't say anything; (IMO)
I identified as a heterosexual male previously, while I identify as a bisexual (or pansexual if you wish to split hairs) female currently; This I allot to life events (as in gay = bad; such is the message I was given over and over and, yeah anyway); this said I have always tried to blend in and not draw attention to myself and compound that I never had any interests similar to my peer group; technically of either gender. THAT said,
*shrug* I am bisexual but I prefer females. An that said, I am single and expect to continue to be single, and that means 'not with anyone then or now'; but I am a stickler like that.
*shrug* I hope that wets the curiosity ;)
Quote from: Melissa on August 28, 2007, 04:09:05 PM
Ok, this is a bit confusing. I'm not sure if I am understanding this correctly. You want us to choose the orientation we thought we would end up before transition AND who we had been with? Or do you want the orientation we ended up AND who we had been with before transition?
I'm bisexual now, I thought I would be lesbian before transition and I had only been with women (although very few) prior to transition. I'm not sure which answer on your poll this would be. ???
NOTE for Nero:
Due to this confusion, I edited the poll to allow people to remove votes in case they were confused like me and marked it wrong, so they could fix it for more accuracy.
What orientation you are NOW, and what orientation (in practice) you were BEFORE transition.
Before I finally came out TG FTM I always told people I was a gay female. Where-as now I am a straight male!
Straight woman who has only wanted and been with men prior to transition
I have only been attracted to men since I can remember, and I wouldn't change that for anything... :P
tink :icon_chick:
QuoteStraight man who has only wanted and been with women prior to transition
only ladies for me bro ;)
Quote from: Nero on August 28, 2007, 05:34:16 PM
Quote from: Melissa on August 28, 2007, 04:09:05 PM
Ok, this is a bit confusing. I'm not sure if I am understanding this correctly. You want us to choose the orientation we thought we would end up before transition AND who we had been with? Or do you want the orientation we ended up AND who we had been with before transition?
I'm bisexual now, I thought I would be lesbian before transition and I had only been with women (although very few) prior to transition. I'm not sure which answer on your poll this would be. ???
NOTE for Nero:
Due to this confusion, I edited the poll to allow people to remove votes in case they were confused like me and marked it wrong, so they could fix it for more accuracy.
What orientation you are NOW, and what orientation (in practice) you were BEFORE transition.
Oh... ???
In that case, let me change my vote. :P
Bisexual man who was bisexual in thoughts and actions prior to transitioning.I'm happily married to a woman, and into women, (butch women generally...), but am primarily attracted to other Transmen, and possibly gay bio males. That's why I like the term GenderQueer more than Bi, but oh well...
Scott
"None of the above."
Bah!! im frustrated and confused enough as it is....
KK, whats the vote for someone who had been bio male, only been with women, is now transitioned and only likes men... <dont ask how the hell that happened but its driving me nuts in a bad way right now X( >
Nero I chose option 2.
That is who I am. A nympho straight woman. Just kidding, but at least once a month I am.
Deb
So I chose bisexual woman, athough lately I've been really contemplating my life choices. Really I think that, although men are fun to sleep with, when it comes to a long term relationship I'm going to end up with a woman. I just can't see myself having an emotionally satisfying relationship with a man. So I've really been thinking lately that maybe the term bisexual isn't accurate enough. I think a better term would be a lesbian who sometimes sleeps with men/genderqueer-folk. Wow that's too much of a mouthful, maybe I'll stick with bi/pansexual for a short hand answer ha!
xoxo
Kate
Quote from: Lisbeth on August 29, 2007, 09:52:55 AM
"None of the above."
:)
Transition and sexual relations are two very different things.
Quote from: Nero on August 28, 2007, 05:34:16 PMWhat orientation you are NOW, and what orientation (in practice) you were BEFORE transition.
Ah, ok. That makes more sense now.
Quote from: LynnER on August 29, 2007, 10:58:35 AM
whats the vote for someone who had been bio male, only been with women, is now transitioned and only likes men...
That would be "Straight women who had only been with women prior to transition", since (to my understanding) you identify as a woman.
Quote from: lisagurl on August 29, 2007, 02:57:39 PM
Quote from: Lisbeth on August 29, 2007, 09:52:55 AM
"None of the above."
:)
Transition and sexual relations are two very different things.
Oh I know. I'm just trying to see people's sexual orientation BEFORE transition, since some people change it after transition.
Quote from: Nero on August 29, 2007, 03:41:57 PMOh I know. I'm just trying to see people's sexual orientation BEFORE transition, since some people change it after transition.
Yeah, either change it or
come to terms with what it actually was all along, such as was the case with me.
I just could not bring myself to be with men while still living in a male role. Although I haven't actually been sexual with men yet, I have explored that part of my sexual orientation with at least being sensual (kissing, touching, fondling, etc.) with men.
Quote from: Nero on August 29, 2007, 03:41:57 PM
Quote from: lisagurl on August 29, 2007, 02:57:39 PM
Quote from: Lisbeth on August 29, 2007, 09:52:55 AM
"None of the above."
:)
Transition and sexual relations are two very different things.
Oh I know. I'm just trying to see people's sexual orientation BEFORE transition, since some people change it after transition.
Yes, Nero I know. Apparently this is not clear to some! ::), it is obvious that transition and sexual relations are two different things. It would be really nice if people could limit themselves to answer the question Nero posted, for it is a very simple one indeed. ::)
Quote Your sexual orientation prior to transition?
Thank you, Nero, for providing the translation service "again" ;) :)
tink :icon_chick:
"Straight woman who has only wanted and been with men prior to transition"
& after transition too. ;) One cannot change what one's attracted to.
Quote from: Butterfly on August 29, 2007, 09:55:42 PM
"Straight woman who has only wanted and been with men prior to transition"
& after transition too. ;) One cannot change what one's attracted to.
Same with me. By Debisl definition I guess I'm a nymphomanic ::) (I think that's what she meant) Hey! no, I'm not! ;)
I couldnt find an option but voted none the less.
*Asexual woman who has never been with anyone in her life.
Straight woman who has only wanted and been with men prior to transition.
Str8 male before transition, straight female after transition. Don't ask me how this works or worked. I don't understand. I really don't. I had absolutely no desire to be with a man in my prior life. The idea of it was repulsive to me.
After transition, I was more open to men, but initially thought that I would prefer female companionship. That never happened. I did get married and I am quite happy.
Cindi
Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 31, 2007, 09:23:50 AM
Str8 male before transition, straight female after transition. Don't ask me how this works or worked. I don't understand. I really don't. I had absolutely no desire to be with a man in my prior life. The idea of it was repulsive to me.
Same here, although the recent attraction to men remains to be tested for me. In my MIND, yes... but reality sometimes surprises me, lol.
And my prior "attraction" to women was seriously convoluted and ODD. More wanting to have sex AS them than WITH them. Something my wife and I wish I'd realized two decades ago :(
I explain it by suggesting that *polarity* turns me on. I'm not exactly attracted to body parts, but to situations and context. How I relate to someone, how they make me feel, and the overall dynamic. As a male, being with another male made no sense. Being with a woman was better physically, but emotionally it just didn't quite work. As my body changes now, the idea of being with a male makes MUCH more sense. And being with a woman seems more and more... well, it's not gross or anything, but it's MISSING something I seem to crave.
So I don't really know how to answer your poll, Nero...
~Kate~
Quote from: Kate on August 31, 2007, 10:03:37 AMAs my body changes now, the idea of being with a male makes MUCH more sense. And being with a woman seems more and more... well, it's not gross or anything, but it's MISSING something I seem to crave.
Hmmm, that's interesting. It actually sounds like one of the feelings I've experienced as well. However, I still get crushes on and am attracted to both men and women, so I maintain that I'm bisexual. Oddly enough, it seems that every woman so far that I find myself attracted to has ended up being bisexual as well. I don't understand it, but it's a major reason I can identify if a woman is bi or straight with a fairly good accuracy. To me, straight women just look "pretty" (I just am not attracted to that), whereas bi women tend to look more "cute", which is the best way I can describe the difference.
Quote from: Kate on August 31, 2007, 10:03:37 AM
Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 31, 2007, 09:23:50 AM
Str8 male before transition, straight female after transition. Don't ask me how this works or worked. I don't understand. I really don't. I had absolutely no desire to be with a man in my prior life. The idea of it was repulsive to me.
Same here, although the recent attraction to men remains to be tested for me. In my MIND, yes... but reality sometimes surprises me, lol.
And my prior "attraction" to women was seriously convoluted and ODD. More wanting to have sex AS them than WITH them. Something my wife and I wish I'd realized two decades ago :(
I explain it by suggesting that *polarity* turns me on. I'm not exactly attracted to body parts, but to situations and context. How I relate to someone, how they make me feel, and the overall dynamic. As a male, being with another male made no sense. Being with a woman was better physically, but emotionally it just didn't quite work. As my body changes now, the idea of being with a male makes MUCH more sense. And being with a woman seems more and more... well, it's not gross or anything, but it's MISSING something I seem to crave.
So I don't really know how to answer your poll, Nero...
~Kate~
Hmmm Could be that you're bisexual, but were uncomfortable with the idea of being with a man while seen as a man.
I know what you mean about 'missing' something. I love men and women, but with women I lack the bond I have being intimate with men. And with men, there's this certain dynamic that I can't explain or put my finger on but is essentially 'female' that is missing.
Could be you crave men right now because you've been deprived of that dynamic.
Just my interpretation, correct me if I'm wrong. ;)
Quote from: Kim on August 28, 2007, 02:16:56 PM
I was born male but was always a woman (whether known to me or not, it is now official so to speak). Since I only prefer females I answered as a lesbian..
Kim :angel:
I had answered in the spirit of Nero's original question, on the basis of my pre-coming-out life. It did occur to me too that I've always been a woman and I might well answer that way, but the question wasn't asking about that. When I saw Kim's answer, I realized it would skew the results, so I canceled my answer. Sorry.
Anyway, I was bi* before coming out, and I'm still bi. Sexuality isn't a big issue for me.
*Not even going to touch the question of which precise nuance of sexuality qualifies as "bisexual" vs. "pansexual," "omnisexual," "anarchosexual," or whatever variants have been invoked by people. To be honest, my most accurate answer would be "vaguely sexual." But that isn't very catchy, is it?
The only term I really like is
sapiosexual--i.e. I'm only attracted to smart people.
Posted on: September 02, 2007, 06:41:17 PM
**I swear I just made up the term "anarchosexual" as I was writing my post. But then I thought I'd google it. Sure enough-- Not only are there anarchosexual web pages, there are even Talmudic debates over the precise distinctions between that and omnisexual, etc. I am so not getting involved in this.
Asexual woman who had only been with men prior to transition
Before transition I was never with anyone and my sexual feelings had no direction. I thought for a long time that I was attracted to females but that was all mixed up with wanting to be one. I am still not sure what I will be now that I have transitioned but it is looking like I will be straight.
Lesbian who only wanted and had been with women prior to transition.
iow straight dyke who only wanted and had been with gay men prior to transition ;)
I answered bi, before and after though I have always preferred men.
Karen Lyn
Quote from: Katia on September 06, 2007, 10:08:05 PM
straight dyke who only wanted and had been with gay men prior to transition ;)
What is this supposed to mean my dear? Funny, aren't you? too much percodan or what? ;D :P
tink :icon_chick:
One of your qustions in Your poll doesn't make sense: Straight man who had only been with men prior to transition how can a gay man be straight?
Some of the answers here are based on people's originally assigned gender, while others are based on people's current target gender extended back into the past. This thread is all confused. Nero, you need to clarify.