Evening folks – I just thought I'd put my head around the door to say hi. The last time I was here properly I had great fun debating the nature of life the universe and everything with some of the folks here, and I found you to be amongst the most balanced and friendly people on this forum.
I don't personally identify as non-binary, but then that's really just a matter of semantics, because I certainly embrace the notion that I am a woman with some masculine qualities of which I am very proud, and totally comfortable with. Indeed if anyone pushed me I would say while I prefer to be thought of as basically female, in reality I can only be me... and what precisely me is seems really not terribly important to define, because I live by my own rules. Thats probably why I've never felt the need to pursue any sort of perfection in feminity. Thirty years back when I was going through my aim was always to do just enought to qualify as unambiguously female bodied, but no more.
I was very lucky to have a non-binary childhood. Back in the 1960's my mother strongly disapproved of enforced gendering, which suited me, because I wasn't terribly happy to be male sexed – so I chose to live as what I believe is now called a demi-girl... Then in my mid twenties, when I was old enough and rich enough to be able to stick two fingers up to the old school medics who hadn't been terribly helpful in my childhood, I transitioned and had SRS and since then I have lived as a female. However because of my childhood I've never really cared too much about gender and gender performance, for me it was all about physical sex and being seen as "female bodied" which for the last 30 years or so I have been.
Anyways I just thought I'd drop by and say hello. Since I was here last my partner of 25 years has died from early onset dementia, I've ended a long career in broadcasting, gained an MA in creative writing, and am now studying for a medical degree with the hope of practicing medicine into my dotage.
I have to say that to me, while I don't feel the need to formally claim a non binary identity, I actually think that most cis people have non binary traits, they just don't think about it, perhaps because they never have reason to question their own identity. So I think being non-binary is very understandable and indeed nothing unusual. Most non binary people I meet are very down to earth and sensible.
Those who recall me from old will recall that Dread_Faery is a member of my extended family and someone whom I semi-adopted. We are still in touch though I am in London for my studies, and Dread_Faery is back in Cornwall where I used to live.
Anyway I just wanted to say Hi.
Hi there Jenny. Good to meet you. Don't remember you from before, at least not by that name, but I've really liked the posts I've seen so far. Welcome to the forest.
I was here under this name from 2007 to 2010 at the time that my partner of 25 years was in the process of being diagnosed with the dementia that sadly claimed her life. Of course I was really here for social reasons as my transition and SRS was decades in the past. I was a moderator at that point but gace up when the demands of caring for Alison became too great. Sadly she died in 2013.
I had a very brief flirtation with the place under another name in 2013, concurrent with starting med-school but at that point I don't think I came into this section. Googling the rejennyrated handle would easily tell you exactly who I am, where I study medicine, my twitter name and everything really, so in my 2013 visit I was on a bit of a hiding to nothing because in order to maintain any sort of anonymity I had to be highly selective as to what I revealed and that I think gave the impression that perhaps I was being slightly dishonest, so I eventually decided to kill off that account.
It was difficult because I was negotiating the early formation of friendships and working relationships, and I needed to try to be a little more anonymous at that time. I had made the decision that I was going to be open with my future colleages, but wanted to ensure that they got to know me first. So I was trying to tread a delicate line between revealing stuff that might have revealed my identity and being dishonest by witholding of information. The trouble is, when you have grown up as I did pretty openly genderless its actually not quite the same when one transitions as it is for someone who grew up fully male.
In point of fact due to unsympathetic medical reponse when I was 16, my first adult "transition" was effectively from androgyny to male... I had of course as a child been allowed to effectively transition as far I could towards female but as I grew up that became ever more androgynous. So then in my mid twenties I went almost full circle in returning to female. Oh and just to add to the fun I then discovered I had a minor intersex condition too. Those differences though actually quite simple to grasp when fully and logically told can lead to a lot of confusion because depending on which bit I stress and/or edit out I could appear to belong to many different groups here.
In reality I don't actually feel I fit into any category neatly. I'm probably one of lifes one off's. I have always considered myself as female although I allow myself total freedom in the way I interpret that, and I see no contradiction or conflict if I choose to incorporate some masculine or male attributes.
Anyway thats me - rejennyrated - ex engineer, creative writer, Doctor Who fan, medical student, and generally one of life's characters. I look forward to seeing you all around.
I remember you well and have thought of you quit often actually. Still wishing for that giant pool party.
Good morning your lordship! Nice to see you again. I've been a bit out of the loop of late, but gald to see you are still going strong!
That I am. Sorry to hear about Alison's passing. I know she was very important to you.
I hope this visit means we will see more of you.