A couple of months ago I posted about buying my first dress. At the time I was as giddy as a schoolgirl but at the same time felt like an independent woman for the first time.......it was MY dress and I spent a lovely evening wearing it.
Well, since then I have also bought shoes (heels and flats), bra, underwear, wig and make up - all in preparation for this weekend. My family are away and I am at home alone. I have the amazing privilege to live as a woman for the weekend and I don't understate the word "privilege".
I am completely en femme, in my own home and doing my own thing. There is no giddiness but a warm feeling of peace and contentment. I can finally be who I am for an extended time. When I walk about the house, I feel as a woman. When I pass a mirror, I see only a woman. When I'm doing nothing, I am a woman.
I have waited more than 50 years to experience who I truly am. I have waited a lifetime to truly be myself. I am at ease with myself, in my company, and being me.
I am finally Ciara.
:) :) :)
That's one of the best feelings ever. I'm glad to hear it. I remember you talking about these things, and I remember the anxiety you mentioned of feeling like you can't transition.
You know what? You can. Your family will love you no matter what. I know it's not easy for everyone. I'm fortunate that I haven't lost a single friend or loved one in transitioning. It may be more difficult for you, as you do live in conservative-assed Ireland. But your family loves you. Even if it takes time, you have to do what's right for you.
I believe in you, Ciara.
Quote from: MugwortPsychonaut on March 27, 2015, 05:49:39 PM
That's one of the best feelings ever. I'm glad to hear it. I remember you talking about these things, and I remember the anxiety you mentioned of feeling like you can't transition.
You know what? You can. Your family will love you no matter what. I know it's not easy for everyone. I'm fortunate that I haven't lost a single friend or loved one in transitioning. It may be more difficult for you, as you do live in conservative-assed Ireland. But your family loves you. Even if it takes time, you have to do what's right for you.
I believe in you, Ciara.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
Yes, like many others, I have been through anxious and difficult times. I would go through them all again though to be where I am right now.
I am so happy for you.
Enjoy the time and feeling and may there be many more.
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on March 27, 2015, 08:14:58 PM
I am so happy for you.
Enjoy the time and feeling and may there be many more.
Thank you Cynthia Michelle.
Brava, madame! Brava. It's great to hear that you have a chance to be yourself in your own place. I wish many more days and weekends and weeks and months and years of this for you.
The feeling of peace and contentment is something you can't beat. Congratulations, Ciara.
;)
Quote from: gennee on March 28, 2015, 11:21:26 AM
The feeling of peace and contentment is something you can't beat. Congratulations, Ciara.
;)
Thank you Gennee. I'm living full time as a woman for the weekend and it feels so normal. I have never in my life known such peace and contentment.
:)