I've been wanting to come out to more people lately and I kinda just wanna drop the bomb on Facebook or something and get it all over with.
That said, it is the middle of the semester and I really don't want to have to deal with correcting everyone in my classes and my profs and stuff who've finally learned my name (my birthname).
So I was wondering, would it be a better idea to wait until the summer?
Does anyone have experience coming out mid-semester or mid-college? I'll be back in the fall and I think maybe it's be good to wait til then to come out at school and ease my friends into it over the summer? But I wanted some feedback from other.
I spent the fall semester completely out, but not yet full time. I had intended to be in boymode the whole semester, but I kinda figured what's the point, so the majority of the semester I showed up to class dressed as me, but I still went by my male name and pronouns. I got to a fairly liberal university with strongly inclusive LGBT policies so I was pretty well accepted. In January I got my legal name change, went full time, and was able to update all my stuff at school by the time the Spring semester started.
I'm in upper level classes, so there's a lot of people I've had in classes before. I think it was helpful that they knew what was up with me well in advance. They've been able to experience my journey with me and it wasn't a shock when I showed up this semester with a different name and higher voice.
At least where I went to school, this is the latter half of spring semester (classes end mid-May), which would make it a little different for me. I don't like calling attention to myself or interacting with people needlessly, so I'd approach coming out with varying degrees of nonchalance if I felt like I needed to do it now.
If it was me, I'd probably come out on Facebook but I wouldn't push the issue in classes unless I was planning to take a course with the same professors in the fall. Both of my degree programs had a small number of faculty, so on average I probably had anywhere from 4-6 classes with the same professor throughout my time at each university. In a situation like that, I'd say getting it over with sooner is better. But if it's a one time deal or these are just gen ed credits, I'd say wait it out.
Thanks for the advice.
And yeah it is the latter half of the spring semester here for me. I think I might come out on Facebook (once I figure out exactly how to do that) soon-ish and then give the rest of the semester/summer to my friends and stuff to get used to the idea. The hopefully by the time fall hit (actually hopefully before that) I can be Abe to everyone at school and everywhere.
Any tips on coming out on Facebook?
Personally, I just changed my name and made my gender visible (I believe it's set to male now, but it said FTM at the time). I didn't post anything or send anyone any messages. That was enough for people to get the hint. I got a bunch of friendly messages in response, and only one nay-sayer on my 300 person friends list. I've been pretty open about the medical and legal aspects of my transition (posting updates and pics), and I've honestly never gotten more likes or comments on anything before.
That's just my approach though. I'm very much a 'you don't ask, I don't tell' kind of person, and it just fit my personality a lot better to do it the way I did. If you think you'll have a lot of stunned or confused people on your friend's list, you may want to just write a short blurb about it and invite them to send you a message.