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Were you able to reach orgasm after surgery? How long did it take? If you're willing to share, what kinds of issues did you have, and how did you get past them?

It took about 8 months, I think. (I had had an orgasm while dreaming at 3 weeks post-op and a few times since then, so the frustrating thing was that I knew it was possible/the electricity worked!) The main issue was figuring out how the new bits worked - it'd feel nice and all, but not really go anywhere. Eventually I tried the Hitachi magic wand vibrator, and that did get me over the edge once, but was often too much stimulation and I just went numb. It was really annoying how what I needed kept changing, and I think part of what I had to adjust to was exactly that; in the old days it was basically one sort of stimulation, just faster and harder as I got closer. With the new parts I'd like gentle one minute and rougher the next, touch this precise spot this time but next time it'd be like poking my nose, and so on. And since I didn't really know what to do with the feedback (did that jolt mean it was good, or too much, or...?) it took me a while and some experience to calibrate the sensations enough to figure out what would work. Oh, and it had to be partly mental now, no way to get over the top purely by rubbing away down there.

Oddly enough, the biggest problem I had once I got past all that was the similarity of the motion sometimes to what I'd done before - it's gotten easier as the years passed, but at first if it reminded me too much the dysphoria would trigger and I'd be done for the day.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on April 03, 2015, 11:33:59 PM
It took about 8 months, I think. (I had had an orgasm while dreaming at 3 weeks post-op and a few times since then, so the frustrating thing was that I knew it was possible/the electricity worked!) The main issue was figuring out how the new bits worked - it'd feel nice and all, but not really go anywhere. Eventually I tried the Hitachi magic wand vibrator, and that did get me over the edge once, but was often too much stimulation and I just went numb. It was really annoying how what I needed kept changing, and I think part of what I had to adjust to was exactly that; in the old days it was basically one sort of stimulation, just faster and harder as I got closer. With the new parts I'd like gentle one minute and rougher the next, touch this precise spot this time but next time it'd be like poking my nose, and so on. And since I didn't really know what to do with the feedback (did that jolt mean it was good, or too much, or...?) it took me a while and some experience to calibrate the sensations enough to figure out what would work. Oh, and it had to be partly mental now, no way to get over the top purely by rubbing away down there.

Oddly enough, the biggest problem I had once I got past all that was the similarity of the motion sometimes to what I'd done before - it's gotten easier as the years passed, but at first if it reminded me too much the dysphoria would trigger and I'd be done for the day.

An image for you:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1186.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz368%2Fhazel_eyes1911%2Fmen_women_control_switches.jpg&hash=1db9aa39b065689dbec9208c8b05f7964d70c70a)

I had my first orgasm while stimulating my vagina six months after surgery. I am now 9 months post op and it gets even better. There is still much to learn about my new. I am pretty sure I can get a orgasm whilst beeing penetrated and I am sure this orgasm will be unbelievable deep and intensive. But this will take a few more months.
When aroused it feels sooooo great beeing penetrated!

I love my vagina :-)

Lara

To my mind this conversation is a bit odd in that it is making no reference to the most important aspect which is undoubtedly the mind.

The brain is the biggest sex organ we have. I can orgasm without stimulation if I put my mind to it and think the right thoughts, and deliberately move my focussed awareness around my Vj in the right way. Of course stimulation helps, but its not the determinant. You have to know which thoughts are "dirty" enough to take you there, and then be prepared to go to them in your head. There are certain imagined mental scenarios that will take me there in a few short moments. If I rule them out of my head you could stimulate me all day - aint nothing going to happen...

Of course back in my day, dilating by gaslight, back before wireless was invented ;) (well almost anyway) they used to tell us not to have sex for three months, but I figured that had more to do with infection. So my first orgasm happened about ten days post op when I was dilating.

I was about 3 months.
At first that area was anything but sexual, to me it looked a mess and while I was so happy to finally have one, it wasn't sexual in that state (if you know what I mean).

I started to watch what I call "pro for women" you know, had a bit of a story, while I was dilating and soon enough I was feeling better about it, within a few days dilating was feeling like play time and not homework, and one night I started to try new things I kept at it and wow....

Seeing as someone else has mentioned it. The mind. I can have an orgasm within 5 minutes without having anything directly touched. Rhythmically contracting the pelvic muscles appears enough to stimulate good sensation. I'm not even quite sure what is being stimulated, but it feels good. All this would be senseless without the mind to fuel and amplify it in a kind of feedback loop.

It wasn't this easy in the first few months post-op. In fact, it was impossible. I think it was around 60 days post-op that my frustrations were starting to build into a panic attack because of the lack of orgasmic abilities. I started dedicating over 90 minutes every couple of days to the task of achieving one, without too much success in the beginning. I had bought a vibrator and started using that, but how to use it? Inserting it fully, running it at max, whilst watching porn, got me to my first orgasm at day 71 post-op. Pre-op, I had never watched porn before, as I had never needed it. Putting sensations into over-drive taught me how I could get there again. Over the months it got easier and easier.

A year later I discovered that I could even have an orgasm without any visual or direct physical stimulation, but by simply using my mind to conjure imagery and using pelvic contractions. I was very pleasantly surprised. It's something that I couldn't have imagined happening pre-op. Did my brain rewire itself over the course of a year to accept a different set of stimulants and sensations?

After my experience, my humble opinion now is that inorgasmia is all in the mind, literally, and can be overcome with a little dedicated time and effort (and porn).

Beth Andrea : I literally laughed out loud! SO true, though.

Rejennyrated and Nicolette : I did say "Oh, and it had to be partly mental now, no way to get over the top purely by rubbing away down there." :)

(I admit, I can also orgasm from nipple stimulation and fantasy alone...  but I assumed this question was intended to refer to climaxing at least mostly from genital stimulation and that counting the breasts-only times would be "cheating.")

I get no pleasure from dilating whatsoever, for those who do I don't see it, it's just a smooth dildo basically.

Clitoral orgasms are pretty nice, they just take forever (15+ minutes at least).

Prostate orgasms are alright, not nessecarily a head rush, more of a quick physical thing.

My two cents

Quote from: Blush on April 04, 2015, 10:19:52 AM
I get no pleasure from dilating whatsoever, for those who do I don't see it, it's just a smooth dildo basically.

I only get discomfort.

Quote
Clitoral orgasms are pretty nice, they just take forever (15+ minutes at least).

I don't believe I've had one, yet.

Quote
Prostate orgasms are alright, not nessecarily a head rush, more of a quick physical thing.

I think this is the type I experience. But not sure.

I said > 1 year, but honestly it's because I was afraid to touch anything down there. I wanted to heal properly so I lived with some frustration. It took me a while to figure out how it works, but it works perfectly. I suppose if I could turn back time it would be interesting to see what would happen if I tried it say 6 months after surgery. Hope that helps!

The first time I felt something down there was around 5 months post-op.. I testing out my new vibrator.. but my first orgasm came about 6 months post-op. It was penetrative sex with a guy. The female orgasm feel 1000000 times better than a mans.. as a woman you feel it all over your body and lasts long. My vagina felt all tingly afterwards. I fell asleep that night a very satisfied woman.

Quote from: noleen111 on April 05, 2015, 05:06:55 AM
The female orgasm feel 1000000 times better than a mans.. as a woman you feel it all over your body and lasts long. My vagina felt all tingly afterwards. I fell asleep that night a very satisfied woman.

Hmm...depends on what type. Someone mentioned the "prostate orgasm" which can be stronger and full bodied. But there is much variation in prostate ones and if you have been taking hormones that this option may diminish or lose entirely as estrogen shrinks the prostate.

But in a least some men I would not be at all surprised if it was stronger than a girls (by their experience).   Men are also sensitive beings, you need to know where to apply the right pressure. But of course most men would object to being penetrated (especially by a women) and deny themselves this experience, its sad really.

My first orgasm was the second time I had sex. That was 6 weeks post-op. I never understood what all the fuss was about (over sex) until then. Afterwards, I understood LOL!

At the 4 month mark, if I remember correctly...but only through masturbation. Had none through sex (yet?).

My libido is simply zero. I can be aroused, but that involves looking at pictures, films, thinking of someone, toys, lube and a lot of concentration. All of those combined. I am never aroused by accident. But I don't really mind. I don't miss it?

Getting to an orgasm takes a long time, and cannot be forced. The only way I can reach one is through using a pillow or a some cloth that I can ride/rub against. 20 - 30 minutes of hard work. LOL.  ;D I tried with fingers, but no success... it needs to be soft, and indirect, so a pillow works very well.

Anyway, It's nice but nothing special. I can live without it. The idea of getting penetrated and overpowered by a man is far more sexy and appealing to me. Sex is more than just an orgasm, it's the whole package. Orgasm would be great, but it's not what sex should be for me. I am satisfied without it, because the sensation of wanting one isn't there anymore.

Oh wow, I feel like I'm far more impatient than everyone else.  :icon_cute:

I had my first orgasm on Day 18 post-op. But I admit that my surgery went really, really well and so I was feeling a little more adventurous. I reached orgasm by mostly stimulating the pubic mound above the vagina, which wasn't as affected by surgery.

Quote from: suzifrommd on April 03, 2015, 07:56:56 PM
Were you able to reach orgasm after surgery? How long did it take? If you're willing to share, what kinds of issues did you have, and how did you get past them?

I had SRS with Dr. Chet on 12/16/14 (4 months now) and I still haven't been able to orgasm yet. I've never been with a girl so I really don't even know if I'm doing it right or not.  I'm almost to the point where I think that I might try to find a lesbian or a FTM to show me what I need to do in order to have an orgasm. I'm so frustrated at this point!!
I

^Try a pillow or towel.  ;) and ride it. Google the technique if not sure.

It was the only way I could get at it. Fingers, hands all were too rough. It seems many (if not all cis-girls) learn it this way. I just asked cis-females and they told me so. Didn't know that either, but we already missed that boat, still working through all those memo's. LOL.

However do not rely on it, because when done too much it can become the only way. The pillow/towel technique is just to kickstart it. It is also best to try to get it going soon after SRS, because those nerves need to stay intact. My doc told me to "use it" right away after a few weeks. Well, that became 4 months, but it worked.

Quote from: BWgirl_1114 on April 15, 2015, 01:01:02 PM
I had SRS with Dr. Chet on 12/16/14 (4 months now) and I still haven't been able to orgasm yet. I've never been with a girl so I really don't even know if I'm doing it right or not.  I'm almost to the point where I think that I might try to find a lesbian or a FTM to show me what I need to do in order to have an orgasm. I'm so frustrated at this point!!
I

You might have a look here for a few thoughts that might help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,185786.msg1653885.html#msg1653885

I'd say try to relax... and take your time...

hugs

5 days, it wasn't deliberate, it just happened while I was c*nt stretching.

good information

For me my first was around 50ish days when I actually had one whilst dilating. Since then I've had multiple via, clitoral stimulation, vaginal penetration, vibrators, digits etc.
If I'm in the mood I can usually reach orgasm within 5-10 min and by god is it good hehe ;)

I was able to reach orgasm within 3 months post op.  It was such a weird sensation at first but when i realized what was happening it was incredible.

I personally believe you MUST have extreme pain right after you wake up from your SRS in order for you to orgasm.  This is just my own opinion but most of the girls that I know that do not experience pain do not have orgasms.  I've discussed this with my OBGYN before and he agrees mainly because the nerve endings are alive which is why the pain is so intense.

I know my surgeon had mentioned that he would not give me enough morphine because he said it would be bad for me.  He also kept saying that pain is good for me to have. 

GoneGrl : Well, call me an exception; I had moderate pain (dropping to low-level after a couple days) and adequate pain relief, and I also orgasmed in my sleep at 3 weeks post-op. :) I DID have full sensitivity all over from the moment I woke up - made bandage changes interesting - but that doesn't necessarily equate to serious pain.

I would be very, very unhappy with a surgeon who refused pain relief and insisted pain was good, since the nerves are working whether you're getting the signals (pain) from them or not. That sounds sadistic.

Well I did talk about girls that said they had NO PAIN so there is a difference in your case because you experienced pain.   

In theory, it makes sense for there to be pain because that signals there is sensitivity and your doctor isn't over medicating you.  For there to be zero pain means the nerve endings are dead therefore no sensitivity.

Yeah during the time I was going through it, I was not a happy camper to say the least although keep in mind I had my surgery 23 years ago.  This may have been the method doctors used back then and considering all the botched surgeries then and even more now I'm rather relieved to have sensitivity and to be orgasmic.

If I didn't have that I think I would be on a plethora of meds or suicidal.

After reading this thread two weeks ago, I decided to seriously try to get something.

Its been over 7 weeks now since my surgery, but I was wanting to try something since the 3rd week. The current conical shape of the clitoris isn't helping any and bullet vibes only seem to vibrate the area into an aching numbness I.e. an anti-climatic sort of frustration.

BUT I was able to get something out of the pillow humping routine i had been doing for years before my surgery. I  would lock in the mindset while watching other girls videos on xhamster and imagine being on the receiving end. It takes 20 to 30 minutes of careful stimulation to get me there. I have noticed a little bit of bleeding from the grinding, but nothing more than what dilating can cause sometime if its sore from the previous session. It isn't any sort of OMG type of orgasm, which is what I'm hoping for within another year. I think I'll have better results by being in the mood rather than just direct pressure like before, but at least its good enough to relieve those urges this early in my post op life.

About a year and a half.

nowadays it's great :D

tip: don't want it to much, it comes when it comes. :-)

I am curious as to how many wanted the sex change for the orgasm primarily and then after the years of anxiety was drove to the point of not caring if they were orgasmic after the surgery.

Lanah : I'm actually not quite sure what you're asking. I transitioned because I wanted to live as a woman, not for orgasms - actually, the orgasms were quite good pre-transition, and HRT caused some problems off and on in that area - and had surgery because I wanted the right genitals (though obviously having them work and being able to orgasm would be better than not).

Ahh my wording was messed up I see what you meant there.  I wonder how many people did not initially seek the surgery in fear of loosing all ability to orgasm.  But after years of dysphoria were driven to not care whether or not they will ever be able to orgasm.

Quote from: lanah101 on June 12, 2015, 01:13:52 PM
I am curious as to how many wanted the sex change for the orgasm primarily and then after the years of anxiety was drove to the point of not caring if they were orgasmic after the surgery.

Quote from: lanah101 on June 14, 2015, 10:56:49 AM
Ahh my wording was messed up I see what you meant there.  I wonder how many people did not initially seek the surgery in fear of loosing all ability to orgasm.  But after years of dysphoria were driven to not care whether or not they will ever be able to orgasm.

ah ok then, for the original wording, that sort of stuff would of been addressed with the year or more of therapy necessary to qualify for surgery.

As frustrating as it is wanting to release desires like before but unfamiliar with how the new configuration works or if the software is even all set up yet to try, it pales in comparison to having achieved the goal of finally having the right layout overall... that achievement- being able to look in the mirror and see everything where/how it should be-  can be just as satisfying as any physical orgasm.

I had surgery with Dr. Menard and the outcome was excellent--no complications at all.
I wasn't orgasmic until I met my first husband though. I never was able to masturbate to orgasm--I could get close but never quite there. But my husband was very good at lovemaking, and gave me multiple orgasms everytime we made love. He wasn't entirely oral so my orgasms came from vaginal stimulation, very very little clitoral.
After we separated, I tried masturbation again and didn't get the big O either. I tried toys and whatnot but nothing worked to get me there.
My second/current husband  has never given me an orgasm. I don't know why. He isn't stellar in bed, his penis is much smaller than I was used to, and his lovemaking techique is not great. He does give me oral, and I do orgasm that way--multiple times. The only orgasms I have had with him were when I was on top and basically using him like a human dildo(sorry if that sounds unkind--lovemaking with him was horrid, so the only way I could orgasm was if I did it myself).

He was also a withholder--never giving me sex, using it as a weapon, etc. So I started watching porn and masturbating. That's when I had my first self-derived orgasm...awesome!! so I started exploring more and more of what felt good, what I like and what it takes to get me off. I can do in 10 minutes what it took my husband an hour to do with oral sex.

Orgasms post-op are awesome! There's a zillion varieties, and each one is amazing! I haven't heard of any surgeons these days who aren't able to give patients fully orgasmic equipment :)

Just over two months for me, feels good but very similar to my old ones oddly enough

Sent from my HTC6525LVW using Tapatalk

Quote from: GoneGrl on May 20, 2015, 08:04:24 PM

I personally believe you MUST have extreme pain right after you wake up from your SRS in order for you to orgasm.  This is just my own opinion but most of the girls that I know that do not experience pain do not have orgasms.  I've discussed this with my OBGYN before and he agrees mainly because the nerve endings are alive which is why the pain is so intense.

Not sure why you need pain after the op but maybe you're right. ;D  Personally I had no pain after my op. I even walked down a flight of stairs 8 hours post op although that wasn't by choice.

Orgasm kinda just happened a few days ago and while I won't claim it was earth shattering it most definitely was there and I expect it to improve as I heal further. Being only 3 months post op I know I have allot more internal healing to do and nerves are still reconnecting although this is becoming less frequent.

Quote from: Riley Skye on June 21, 2015, 06:00:39 PM

Just over two months for me, feels good but very similar to my old ones oddly enough

I have to agree mine felt similar as well but at 2 months you'll have to heal more yet and it will I'm sure get more like other girls mention.

Quote from: lanah101 on June 14, 2015, 10:56:49 AM

Ahh my wording was messed up I see what you meant there.  I wonder how many people did not initially seek the surgery in fear of loosing all ability to orgasm.  But after years of dysphoria were driven to not care whether or not they will ever be able to orgasm.

I'll admit i decided I didn't and still don't care if I ever have sex or even orgasms again, I'd like some sex if I can but the reason for transition wasn't even remotely connected to sexual ability. I was once asked by a cis girl why if I'm a lesbian don't i just stay as a man because finding a gf will be allot easier that way? There followed a pretty good chat about the reasons for transition and I think she concluded I was crazy but hey ho  ;D

Hugs

Sorcha  ;D

I am sure these questions will be answered in therapy. I guess everyone fears the unknown, but there has to be better than this unquenchable desire to be complete. This has to be more satisfying than an orgasm.

The first time I had an orgasm, I was watching a movie on TV that had a lot of emotion to it.  I had a good cry and then the guy and the women kissed and had some PG 13 sort of petting and I had an orgasm without touching myself.  Lest me pretty surprised that first time as it was really nice. 

I have finally had my first one using the pillow method. I am five months post op. I have had sensations for quite a while but could not tip myself over the edge until now. It was not like any pre op one. They were stronger but finished quicker. This was milder but longer and deeper. I must admit I was getting very frustrated so it is a big relief in every sense of the word to have finally had one. It is true that the mental aspect is very important.
I had no pain after my op so the theory that you needed to have had pain to orgasm is nonsense.

Oh Girls thank you so much for the pillow-methode suggestion ... works well :)

Had today my first O after 53 days post op - Yaay!!!

Kisses