I was wondering if anyone else has this problem. I feel like I'm an intruder when I use a public gym, because I am too androgynous to even be read as female if I'm not presenting a certain way. Tying my hair back reveals my brow and masculine hairline in an unflattering way, padding my bust (which I MUST do if I don't want to be read as male) restricts my breathing, and my still very androgynous figure prevents me from wearing the kind of clothing one must wear to exercise in public; even running or something of that nature is impossible for me on account of how large my feet are and my long arms and how said arms look when I run. Does anyone else have this issue? I'm beginning to have trouble even walking around my campus I'm so out of shape.
You just gotta OWN it...its not your fault for any of the features you mentioned, and you do have the right to take care of yourself.
You're not intruding on others; if they are rude then THEY are intruding on you.
OTOH, if you can stay on campus for an hour before or after classes, use that time to walk briskly all over the place...don't forget to trot up the stairs (if safe for you). Every once in a while stop and do "windmills" or pushups/crunches.
Hope this helps.
I haven't had this problem but I can attest that most people who attend gyms regularly, at least and folks I've met, really don't judge people on their looks and all. If anything, if someone's overweight, underweight, or just out of shape, they have respect and admiration for those people brave enough to come in motivated to make a change in their health and lives.
It's a natural feeling though, seeing others who are all muscular, lean and all that - I'd say most of your aprehension is more due to beginning to work out, basically a stranger in the gym, so proper exercise feels unnatural. With time it'll get better, just keep at it. And not only that but if it's really that difficult to even walk? Sounds like you need to make a change regardless of not having the perfect sized feet or hairline.
I actually disagree; I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I think as a matter of respect it's sometimes best for trans people to avoid women's spaces if it'll make those who belong there uncomfortable.
There can never be an excuse not to exercise - if the issue is gyms (or to be more specific, locker rooms), whole world can be Your gym (I never got those people who frequent gyms anyway...). Plenty of outdoor activities (jogging, cycling, rollerskating) as well as indoor exercises - look up Insanity or T25, or get Your own personal equipment (I bought low budget electric treadmill and it helped me to stay fit during those cold months when it became too uncomfortable to jog outside).
I sorta have a problem. I work for an employer who has a really fancy gym on premises. I loved working out there. I have to pay to use it but it's cheap at $7/week.
But now I have boobs and I wear a bra (no choice, it's uncomfortable as hell to go without one) and I don't feel good going in the men's change room, and I also don't feel good going in the women's yet because I am not identified as female at work (people gender me F randomly even when in male clothing but officially HR has me listed as a male. I am not FT at work yet).
So I joined a unisex gym locally and just change and shower at home.
Exercise... eh, I don't care who gives a hoot. It's about MY health. I wear male-ish workout clothing (sweat pants, t shirt), but I am gendered female by people, due to my face and body shape I'm guessing?
Another option I have is that they open 24 hours and after a certain hour I have it all to myself. So if you are afraid of people making comments you can do that.
But in the end really who cares! I am not going there to socialize. I am going there to keep myself healthy. I know some people socialize at the gym but I am not one of them.
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on April 06, 2015, 12:15:34 PM
the kind of clothing one must wear to exercise in public;
What is this exactly? I had no idea there was a dress code in the gym, only no hard shoes on the floor.
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on April 06, 2015, 12:33:11 PM
I actually disagree; I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I think as a matter of respect it's sometimes best for trans people to avoid women's spaces if it'll make those who belong there uncomfortable.
People were also uncomfortable with black people and other minorities at the same lunch counter and in their pristine white neighborhoods.
In my mostly white neighborhood, people were alarmed when we (the brown people) moved in. No kidding, they called the town and complained about "terrorists moving in." I know because later on in a church meeting (yes I am a devout Christian like you, idiots!) they told me what they did. People face this sort of thing every day.
Should I have just stuck to the more "colored" parts of the state, or the USA? No, hell no and no way Jose. I have every right to be where I am. People need to learn to be tolerant and mind their own business.
And like your opinion on trans women in gendered spaces, their racism and bigotry was masked with a legitimate concern - crime and property values. So what they are saying is we don't want minorities in white neighborhoods because they might commit crime and/or bring properties down by putting a basketball hoop in their yard or simply by living there... same way people might think a non-passable trans woman in a gendered space will scare cis women because they may be a rapist or looking to commit a crime like assault?
I think the same thing has to go with trans women (and trans men) in gendered spaces. Obviously I think if someone walks in with shorts, an old wife beater and a beard, sure, they are out of place. But a trans woman with a big chin and a deep voice who doesn't pass at all but is making a sincere attempt to present female should be afforded the same dignity as any cis woman. The only thing I would be careful with is genital exposure in a preop trans woman. But simply being in a gendered space should not be fraught with exclusions and arbitrary standards.
And really it is extremely appalling to hear our own community advocate for discrimination.
I understand your feelings in regards to this, but in truth you belong in their as much as any other person. Having said that if you don't feel comfortable in that regards maybe they have some type of family locker room/ room you change and get ready in. We have every right to use the same spaces. I have no doubt if I used the men's locker room they would feel like I'm intruding on their space and secondly I would never feel comfortable their. I feel completely at home and welcomed in the woman's. I'm sorry you feel otherwise. I hope someday that you will feel comfortable in the woman's. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on April 06, 2015, 12:33:11 PM
I actually disagree; I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I think as a matter of respect it's sometimes best for trans people to avoid women's spaces if it'll make those who belong there uncomfortable.
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on April 06, 2015, 12:33:11 PM
I actually disagree; I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I think as a matter of respect it's sometimes best for trans people to avoid women's spaces if it'll make those who belong there uncomfortable.
I understand where you are coming from on this. Early in transition I avoided female spaces even though, legally, I was entitled to use them. I avoided them because I did not feel that I presented feminine enough to "pass" or at least that I was too obviously male to be in such a personal female space.
Just because I was legally entitled to be there did not mean that I wanted to have the arguments that would have ensued. Being in the right does not stop a row. Later apologies cannot unsay things made in the heat of argument.
I go to the 12th street gym in Philadelphia. It is LGBT. I e-mailed the owner Frank Bear and explained I am trans and can not go into male locker room and I do not fit into a woman's locker room. He set up an appointment and showed me the gym, Men's locker room (very briefly), the employee locker room and a unisex locker room. He also offered a unisex private bathroom. I chose the unisex locker room. I do not know what would have happened if I wanted the female locker room. I do not fit in at present and would feel very self conscious.
I have a variant trainer who is very cool. She helps me over come my fear of using the gym and provides endless advise on food, exercise, relationship advise, clothing and makeup. If you can not have a trainer the next best thing is a work out buddy. I see them at the gym all the time. Perhaps they are friends or couples.
I work out at home 6 days a week and the gym 1 day per week. I would love to add a weekend morning especially since they have sunrise yoga on the roof starting backup soon.
Quote from: ImagineKate on April 06, 2015, 01:03:16 PM
People were also uncomfortable with black people and other minorities at the same lunch counter and in their pristine white neighborhoods.
In my mostly white neighborhood, people were alarmed when we (the brown people) moved in. No kidding, they called the town and complained about "terrorists moving in." I know because later on in a church meeting (yes I am a devout Christian like you, idiots!) they told me what they did. People face this sort of thing every day.
Should I have just stuck to the more "colored" parts of the state, or the USA? No, hell no and no way Jose. I have every right to be where I am. People need to learn to be tolerant and mind their own business.
And like your opinion on trans women in gendered spaces, their racism and bigotry was masked with a legitimate concern - crime and property values. So what they are saying is we don't want minorities in white neighborhoods because they might commit crime and/or bring properties down by putting a basketball hoop in their yard or simply by living there... same way people might think a non-passable trans woman in a gendered space will scare cis women because they may be a rapist or looking to commit a crime like assault?
I think the same thing has to go with trans women (and trans men) in gendered spaces. Obviously I think if someone walks in with shorts, an old wife beater and a beard, sure, they are out of place. But a trans woman with a big chin and a deep voice who doesn't pass at all but is making a sincere attempt to present female should be afforded the same dignity as any cis woman. The only thing I would be careful with is genital exposure in a preop trans woman. But simply being in a gendered space should not be fraught with exclusions and arbitrary standards.
And really it is extremely appalling to hear our own community advocate for discrimination.
Well said Kate!!!!
As others have said - you have a right to be in the gym. I understand the anxiety about the dressing room so just dress and shower at home and avoid that issue altogether. There are lots of exercises you can do outside of the gym and they are free - walking, hiking, biking, stairs, etc.
I understand your concerns about using the locker rooms. But spring is here which means you can come to gym dressed to work out! No more bulky coats needed. Or go running, walking, or biking outside. As for dress, many women wear t-shirts and shorts to work out. Put on a baseball cap and you'll be very androgynous. Good luck!
I would suggest you NOT put your exercise routine on hold during your transition for the reason that not exercising and sitting for long periods, even without HRT is a recipe for thromboembolisms that usually start in the deep veins of the legs as blood flow slows and starts to coagulate in the legs and forms a DVT, if they break free they can go anywhere in the body but tend to go to the lungs and cause a pulmonary embolism(PE) which can be fatal if not treated immediately or it could travel to the brain and cause a stroke. I am not trying to scare you, but these are very real possibilities and this risk increases substantially with HRT.
On a more personal note IMHO I think we as trans women are more critical of ourselves that the general public is of us. Not long ago I would run 5-6 miles in and around my neighborhood with my DD forms in a sports bra, my cap sleeve Under Armour compression top and cute little running shorts , now I am a trim 5'11" with fairly broad shoulders, I had a buzz cut at the time and have not started HRT yet... was there anxiety oh heck yeah, but I felt comfortable enough with myself to go out like that and to tell you the truth no one gave me a sideways or quizzical look when I ran by even though in my mind I look like a man with boobs.
If you do not feel comfortable at the gym you could try going later in the evening or early in the morning if they are open 24hrs, doing other exercises outside the gym as others have mentioned, or if your financial situation allow purchase a used treadmill or home gym equipment, but your health is too important to not do anything. Please never feel like you don't belong somewhere, be the confident women you want to be and own it. Best wishes :)
Quote from: ChiGirl on April 06, 2015, 04:50:07 PM
I understand your concerns about using the locker rooms. But spring is here which means you can come to gym dressed to work out! No more bulky coats needed. Or go running, walking, or biking outside. As for dress, many women wear t-shirts and shorts to work out. Put on a baseball cap and you'll be very androgynous. Good luck!
Even in the winter I dressed at home and then went to the gym. Most gyms I know have a coat rack and its outside the dressing rooms.
BTW you can always go to planet fitness.
You could hold your head high, be who you are, and show people the proud face of transgender.
Or, you could stay home and slowly turn into a lump.
Entirely up to you.
This is about more than working out in the gym, its about self acceptance which is the hardest thing we have to face.
Quote from: ImagineKate on April 06, 2015, 01:03:16 PM
People were also uncomfortable with black people and other minorities at the same lunch counter and in their pristine white neighborhoods.
In my mostly white neighborhood, people were alarmed when we (the brown people) moved in. No kidding, they called the town and complained about "terrorists moving in." I know because later on in a church meeting (yes I am a devout Christian like you, idiots!) they told me what they did. People face this sort of thing every day.
Should I have just stuck to the more "colored" parts of the state, or the USA? No, hell no and no way Jose. I have every right to be where I am. People need to learn to be tolerant and mind their own business.
And like your opinion on trans women in gendered spaces, their racism and bigotry was masked with a legitimate concern - crime and property values. So what they are saying is we don't want minorities in white neighborhoods because they might commit crime and/or bring properties down by putting a basketball hoop in their yard or simply by living there... same way people might think a non-passable trans woman in a gendered space will scare cis women because they may be a rapist or looking to commit a crime like assault?
I think the same thing has to go with trans women (and trans men) in gendered spaces. Obviously I think if someone walks in with shorts, an old wife beater and a beard, sure, they are out of place. But a trans woman with a big chin and a deep voice who doesn't pass at all but is making a sincere attempt to present female should be afforded the same dignity as any cis woman. The only thing I would be careful with is genital exposure in a preop trans woman. But simply being in a gendered space should not be fraught with exclusions and arbitrary standards.
And really it is extremely appalling to hear our own community advocate for discrimination.
Hell, it was about time.
I mean, I've never been able to do any sort of exercise in my life. I didn't have a routine before my transition, I walk a lot from class to my dorm but usually I don't excerise at all. I just don't have the time right now (next semester I hopefully might) and dressing for it just makes me feel wierd. I mean, I can't really pad because I only own one bra which doesn't fit me and I'd look male without it! There's no point in wearing makeup since I'm sweat it all off. I'm just scared of all this. Besides, I can't really keep with it either because I lose my breath so easily.
Besides, a part of me sort of hopes I get a clot and it goes into my lungs or heart or brain. But that's common knowlege at this point.
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on April 06, 2015, 09:14:41 PM
I mean, I've never been able to do any sort of exercise in my life. I didn't have a routine before my transition, I walk a lot from class to my dorm but usually I don't excerise at all. I just don't have the time right now (next semester I hopefully might) and dressing for it just makes me feel wierd. I mean, I can't really pad because I only own one bra which doesn't fit me and I'd look male without it! There's no point in wearing makeup since I'm sweat it all off. I'm just scared of all this. Besides, I can't really keep with it either because I lose my breath so easily.
Besides, a part of me sort of hopes I get a clot and it goes into my lungs or heart or brain. But that's common knowlege at this point.
The bolded was and probably is my biggest issue with doing anything in regards to public spaces and especially the gym and pool (which is in my building downstairs ><). When my best friend was here (she's cis), she sorta just dragged me to the gym and we worked out in this upstairs section with not a lot of people. I got some weird looks from women of my own ethnicity but it otherwise wasn't too bad. Swimming though...le sigh, I really love swimming. I've had my full swim education since I was a kid but having to endure the change room be it before or after if I change into it upstairs and simply come down with soem modest cover, doesn't change the shadow on my face =/
Do I just wait until I can resume laser/electrolysis and deprive myself of swimming more D=?! There's also the shaving legs thing but that's a minor thing, I just like to make sure my legs are nice and smooth when I wear anything which reveals them ><; One solution was to just go in the early morning. Only the older folks are in around then but I haven't had the courage to go since my best friend moved from my building T_T
So I sincerely empathize AndrogynousPainter26 =/
What about a brisk walk? You can wear normal clothes and that techinchaly counts as exercise, right?
Yes it does count as exercise.
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on April 06, 2015, 09:51:32 PM
What about a brisk walk? You can wear normal clothes and that techinchaly counts as exercise, right?
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on April 06, 2015, 09:51:32 PM
What about a brisk walk? You can wear normal clothes and that techinchaly counts as exercise, right?
Walking is excellent exercise! I lower my blood pressure an average of 10 points when i'm walking a bit every day. Hiking is another great exercise - you are out enjoying the natural beauty and getting some fresh air and as a plus you won't run into many people either so not much worry about your appearance.
You don't have to go to a gym to work out. I never understood why you'd pay a crazy amount for a member ship most people use twice a month. You could buy your own weights with that membership money instead? It will be cheaper in the long run, you'll save money on gas if you drive to the gym, you'll have no excuse on why you couldn't make it to the gym since the weights will be under your bed, and you won't have to worry about what other people think of your body. Just spitballing other options. >_>
You could just wear normal clothes when riding a bicycle as well. You're turning exercise into like this grueling mental image.
i've always had a hard time going to gyms myself. what i do is scout garage sales for exercise gear. one time i scored a $700 elyptical machine for $50. :D still in its packaging and everything. i do also walk and hike a lot as well. helps keep things not as monotonous. or i'll do yoga, use weights, etc at home. also don't have to pay those monthly fees.
I take a few walks every day but I still do 30-60 minutes in the gym. I walk from work to port authority bus terminal, about a mile or so. I do this in NYC rush hour pedestrian traffic laden with tourists. I basically run and dodge obstacles.
The walking doesn't do as much as the gym.
Quote from: ImagineKate on April 07, 2015, 11:00:01 AM
I take a few walks every day but I still do 30-60 minutes in the gym. I walk from work to port authority bus terminal, about a mile or so. I do this in NYC rush hour pedestrian traffic laden with tourists. I basically run and dodge obstacles.
The walking doesn't do as much as the gym.
You can always make Your life more complicated.
By using ankle weights, for example.
Two pairs on each leg.
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on April 07, 2015, 11:16:07 AM
You can always make Your life more complicated.
By using ankle weights, for example.
Two pairs on each leg.
True, I guess. But I'd miss my bus!
Quote from: ImagineKate on April 07, 2015, 11:17:27 AM
True, I guess. But I'd miss my bus!
Nope- if You will run to it!