im 19 been on hrt for a year and started transitioning at 17...im still not confident at all...I can't see how I would work a job where I had to constantly face and interact with people even other coworkers but that seems like all jobs...I never had a job in my life...still don't have name or gender marker changed but im working on it...im so desperate for money as I still feel not fully satisfied with my transition and want to move forward so that I can feel better about myself...the things that would make me feel better about myself at a job are all things that costs thousands already...my parents don't care about my issues and basically think I need to suck it up and find a job..its upsetting cause whenever I hear of a trans woman with a real job its usually as a male or she had the job before transitioning or shes extremely passable with all legal things changed and is stealth at work...I feel very discouraged, depressed and hopeless about this..
Goodness Anna, I had no idea you were doing it so tough.
I have been through a similar thing, and fought my way through. It wasn't easy. I've also only just begun speaking with my family again.
Hit me up for a chat sometime if you like.
Sarah
my parents and me speak....I live with them unfortunately...its just theres a lot of pressure to find a job and I want one too but im just not that comfortable with myself
once you overcome the first hurdle it's easier each time
what hurdle is that
I got fired from two jobs due to transitioning, after having only been out of college for 2 years. So I basically did have to start at square one all over again, and I hadn't had any surgeries whatsoever at the time when I was looking for my first ever post-transition job, so I feel qualified to say something.
First of all, change your legal documents. Usually it's not that hard, doesn't take much money (like maybe a couple hundred dollars in court costs at the most,) and it makes EVERYTHING that much easier afterward, because you're no longer under any legal obligation to ANYONE to disclose your past once your name and gender are legally changed. The only person you usually have to tell at work is HR, so that they can do a background check.
Second of all, be persistent. It took me 4 job interviews before I was finally hired for one. Keep trying. Never give up, and don't let yourself fall into a "this will never work" depression. Just keep applying, keep interviewing, and eventually something will come through.
Thirdly, be confident. This can be VERY hard for someone who is newly post-transition and not very confident about their passability. That's where I was at while I was applying for jobs. People called me "she," and I seemed to pass most of the time, but I was still getting stared at, still had like no makeup skills, no female socialization, I was nervous as hell, and I spent the entire first 3 months or so fending off panic attacks because I was so worried about whether people knew, whether they were judging me behind my back, whether I was just kidding myself by trying to be seen as female by them.
Here's another thing, though... these feelings only faded with time. They didn't fade because I somehow magically became more passable and more cislike, they faded because finally, after 4-5 months on the job, I finally started internalizing that people didn't care. That they were accepting me exactly as I was. And slowly, life returned to just being life. The fears faded, and it stopped being "oh my God, here I go in front of all of these people again, I hope I pass today," it just became my normal routine... just a normal person going to work for a normal day. The only way that this will happen is with time. With slowly getting used to your routine, and slowly gaining confidence as a result. Keep moving forward, and eventually you'll wonder what you were ever worried about.
Finally getting a job as myself, and being accepted as that self, was the biggest improvement to my self-esteem of anything that I've done in all of transition.
I definitely agree that you should get your name and gender marker changed, and from there assess your skill set and interests, then start your job search. If you're in a position where you do not have money, you really can't afford to be picky, just find something even if It's part-time. And after you land a job keep searching for a better one until you find it. You are at such a young age that you really need to pursue an education, even if you can only go to school part-time.
Changing your legal gender is not so simple in Aussie land.
You need to have either gone through with sex reassignment, or obtain a heavily stacked psychiatric recommendation.
So, it's not an option for me at this point. It has been another little thing that has forced me to compromise and reassess my view of things.
Again, now that I identify as transsexual, it really doesn't bother me. If anything, being legally titled 'Mister Sarah B...' creates amusement :~]
Having said that all of my docs will title me 'Miss'. So lovely of them.
You did mention that you went to school for make-up, that's not a bad thing for finding a job in your present situation. You have a chance to find accepting work enviroment, despite not having your documents changed yet, while this might not work in many other work fields. Try to search the possible work places in your area, and just go there and ask for possible job opening. If you send requests with mail or e-mail, while you have male documents, that probably won't work...
You can change your legal gender in Australia as long as you are not married. You do not need surgery.
You can change every legal document to Female if you wish very simply. Changing your name is straight forward.
Getting a job means knuckling down and doing it and not making excuses. You can do it but the longer you put it off and the more barriers you create the harder it is; or the easier it is not to try.
I know Australian trans men and women who are in every job from check out 'chicks' to Lawyers to Professors to the Head of the Army. I know trans* people working in Coles and Woolies, I know trans* people working in the building industry from concrete pourers to roofers and carpenters. I know trans* liberians, office workers, Parliamentary secretaries. I know heaps in the public service. I know army and airforce personal, both services pay for their personal to have HRT and surgery BTW, both ways FtM and MtF. Lets see who else, real estate agents, 3D Cad workers, lab technicians, psychologists, medics, accountants, tax officers, a veterinary surgeon, members of the SAS, Uni lecturers, teachers, police officers, traffic wardens.
You can do this but <politely said> you have to get off your arse and go for it, stop making excuses and do it. If you need qualifications, enrol in TAFE. It is your life; enjoy it, but you make it work for you.
No one is going to give you anything in life, that is the nature of our world.
But don't use being trans* as an excuse.
Quote from: Cindy on April 09, 2015, 04:12:56 AM
You can change your legal gender in Australia as long as you are not married. You do not need surgery.
You can change every legal document to Female if you wish very simply. Changing your name is straight forward.
Gah! It's probably a Western Australia thing. When I went to change my name, they made it clear I couldn't change my gender without surgery or the psych support.
Medicare also refuse to change my gender without further evidence. They even put the application form in my hand ''for when I have all the supporting documents''.
Perth! Good job I don't identify male *or* female ;~o
To be honest with so many employers here touting diversity you'd think they'd want a trans woman on board. In the USA it's a regional/local thing.
I believe in meritocracy. Hard work is how I earned my job, and smart work is how I keep it.
I am very much against ''quota systems'' that give the impression of equality, but in fact achieve the opposite.
Quote from: Annabolton on April 08, 2015, 11:34:41 PM
im 19 been on hrt for a year and started transitioning at 17...im still not confident at all...I can't see how I would work a job where I had to constantly face and interact with people even other coworkers but that seems like all jobs...I never had a job in my life...still don't have name or gender marker changed but im working on it...im so desperate for money as I still feel not fully satisfied with my transition and want to move forward so that I can feel better about myself...the things that would make me feel better about myself at a job are all things that costs thousands already...my parents don't care about my issues and basically think I need to suck it up and find a job..its upsetting cause whenever I hear of a trans woman with a real job its usually as a male or she had the job before transitioning or shes extremely passable with all legal things changed and is stealth at work...I feel very discouraged, depressed and hopeless about this..
Hey we have all been in your shoes. A first job is always hard to land for anyone. Adding the gender thing on top of it all makes it worse. I certainly can understand the difficulty with not being full time. Here are a few thoughts I have:
Just get a job any job and don't worry about your ID yet. Get yourself a paycheck, put some money in the bank and save up for your name change (court costs and other fees) and then when you are ready make the jump. Without having to reveal your gender situation it will make things easy. Now you will have some work experience. While you are in the midst of changing your ID over, then work with your employer. By that time they will have probably figured you out anyways.
I have interfaced with lots of people. A few years ago I made a presentation to a fairly large investment bank with probably 50-60 people in the room explaining a software stack for a complicated BPM process. That's not exactly a fun subject, but people told me afterwards that they loved my style of being easy to understand and adding some humor to the presentation. That is about as far a distance from the shy, awkward, introvert I used to be when I was your age. To beat shyness I had to be willing to put myself out there. Believe it or not my gender transition made me bolder and not more shy.
Anna,
Most jobs are acquired through networking...aka...you knew somebody who viuched to the boss to hire you.
Do you have any employed friends or mentors that work somewhere with high turniver and entry level positions? Tell them "i am interested in working with you" In so many words.
The job market is hard right now for all people unless you live in specific areas or have a high demand college degree, etc. In your case, spread your eye sight - on my drive home are four different food establishments with giant banners advertising $9/hr jobs, and always seem in high need. they cant even get enough high school kids to part time for them.
After the first job is landed...be respectful and friendly. Eventually, some of you future work friends will land a better job elsewhere, and you can ask if they have other openings, etc.
ABN - always be networking. It is the business school motto. you never know what people may randomly have an opportunity to offer you, and the more people you know and stay in touch with, the more chance the opportunity will be offered to YOU instead of someone else.
Quote from: SarahBoo on April 09, 2015, 08:02:09 AM
I believe in meritocracy. Hard work is how I earned my job, and smart work is how I keep it.
I am very much against ''quota systems'' that give the impression of equality, but in fact achieve the opposite.
I mean, I am in favor of meritocracy too. However I am addressing potential discrimination because of trans status.
However our HR policy is affirmative action, whereby you have two equally qualified candidates but a minority or veteran will be favored. It's a tie breaker rather than simply looking for quotas. I think in the case of under-represented classes, such as women in engineering it is a good thing.
I guess people don't really understand my concerns that much...im not so worried that I will never be able to get a job once I get the documents changed im much more worried about doing interviews and if they do hire me keeping the job even though im so shy, awkward and insecure...I have fears about passing and I don't know if I should be open at work or not...I really don't want to but trying to be stealth sounds very stressful and anxiety producing too...I had a similar situation when I went to that school for makeup artistry...I felt awkward for the entire three months, didn't make friends and didn't even like talking cause my voice sucked then.. I really hate feeling like this
Not sure where you live or if you have any aptitude with computers, but many large cities have quite a need for programmers right now. Female programmers seem to be really sought after in some cases, and there are programs to help them along. A lot of the major companies are very lgbt friendly and best of all for your situation, you wouldn't have to deal with a ton of interaction if it makes you uncomfortable.
Just a thought
Hi
I beg to differ from what others have said about Australia. I'm an Irish-Australian who's lived all my life here and who has transitioned in the mid nineties and faced for years a hostile workplace environment. One would find that they always find a way to reject you, they change stuff along the way in recruiting, I certainly don't know many among those girls I've known who've worked, the class I've heard of are those who've been in the workplace before transition.
Upon embarking in my transition I had close to nought in work experience and was also young. I did work briefly in some short term jobs but was always assigned work and temp assignments of the lowest status only even after over 1-2 years of work. As time passed further on without much in my history the interviews became much less frequent to the point where I'm now a skilled 40 year old who has been unemployable in her field.
We have non discrimination law, but apparently that doesn't get us equal protection in Medicare or healthcare for proper treatment and it doesn't change our hostile workplace culture.
I'm looking at exercising my Irish citizenship and getting out of this backward hole of a bigoted country where I can at least get my surgery on the UK NHS as an EU/Irish passport holder. Before I found out they cover it there, I had been working with organ traffickers I have been ready to sell my kidney overseas in order to raise the funds for SRS.
PS we have no community as such in Australia. Just many transgender women all over the place and because of the time of life I started out, I find that ghe majority of mid life crisis women do not get those girls like me who set out on the journey in our youth.
Annabolton, i know how you feel, i recently had a interview and. was ask about The Australian Tertiary Admission Rank (ATAR), for the job. i was already with a right diploma / degree. and then i was asked a inappropriate question from the interviewer.
Interviewer: At the time was sick, working 2 jobs and pissed off .
Inappropriate Question: what gender are you ?
After that question i asked her why she needed to know. she said i had put nothing about my gender on my resume.
shorter ending: After all that i didn't get the job.
But Annabolton i agree it is hard to find a job. I'm on everyday looking for a building surveyor job :(
maybe 1 in 50 that i put out would get a response for me. but that's due to the need.
i hope you find a job soon good luck.
hugs lov
ash
It seems as if you're having anxiety issues regarding interacting with other people. While I understand the monetary concerns, it may be better if you were to try and get to where you're comfortable interacting with people before you try and hold a job. Don't want to overwhelm yourself and end up negatively reinforcing whatever fears and worries you may have. Take small, mildly uncomfortable steps. Stop and appreciate the progress you've made, then take the next one.
To that end, might I recommend finding somewhere cool to volunteer? There's a website or two out there that will match volunteers to volunteer opportunities. Research the organizations and what they're looking for, shoot out a few emails, and pick somewhere that appeals to you.
The place I'm volunteering is basically gardening on a large scale (165+ acres I believe the head groundskeeper said!). It's a good combination of physical labor and casual social interaction. Most of the other volunteers are retirees, since it's done on a weekday. They're happy to have the help and are very kind and pleasant to talk to, and I can just focus on my work if a conversation doesn't go to plan.
It also provides some networking opportunity as another poster here has mentioned, though it can be a bit outdated since they're all retired. Although often when dealing with older folks when you do find a connection that's still in the workforce they're in the upper echelons due to being so advanced in their careers, so...ya never know who you'll end up being introduced to!
While it might not solve all your problems directly, just getting out and interacting with other people casually can go a long way toward developing self confidence and the ability to socialize in a healthy way, which makes you happier, makes any potential interviews easier, etc etc.
Also I'll join the ever-present chorus of recommending finding a good therapist, if it's at all an option. They can give you support and guidance in dealing with anxiety and any other issues, and just being able to talk, vent, or rant can often lend clarity to your own thoughts and feelings. If you can't get a therapist then just keep making posts here at Susan's!
Something to think about at least, good luck!