Hello Everyone!
I haven't posted on here for a little while, I thought I was feeling far more confident and was thinking I could carry on with my transition alone. However, I am no where near as strong as I thought I was and quite frankly, the last few days have been real hell for me!
I have always been introverted and scared in public largely due to my height. I recently diagnosed with a condition called Marfans Syndrome, thankfully this condition isn't hugely dangerous or life threatening but it meant I have grown to a whopping 6 foot 5 inches tall (pretty darned tall for even a notably tall cis-man!). I have also started studying beauty therapy at college in the last year. This has been a dream come true and whilst the tutors are beyond lovely and I enjoy the course, being back in a class with 16 year old girls as a 20 year old trans-woman can be intimidating to say the least! Recently I really have been feeling so damned anxious when out in public, I have been on hormones for many months now (although the dosage was only recently doubled) so I am starting to change physically - coupled with this course I am becoming more convincing every day. But between the 16 year old girl gossip I have really been struggling. Just the other day I had to go into town to visit the dentist, the bus journey (around 2 hours there and 2 hours back) nearly had me in tears. I have never been more terrified. It felt like everyone was staring at me and I don't know if it was because they thought I was a tall girl or because they thought I was a tall guy dressed as a girl!
I think fundamentally, that's what scares me the most. People will stare and comment, of course they will - I'm the tallest person many people have ever met! But it's the insecurity over my ability to pass that really gets me. To round up though, I was hoping some of you wonderful ladies out there could give me some tips on how you have dealt with social anxiety in the workplace or in public?
Any help would be appreciated, thank you so much for your time! x
Elizabeth
anxiety is caused when one becomes worried about something. if you focus on what your doing and where your going, the anxiety would eventually disappear. I may sound hard but its easier than you think. I suffer anxiety 24/7 but my therapist says as long as I focus and concentrate on what I am doing, I'll feel a lot better.
At the beginning of my transition I would say to myself "I'm going through an awkward phase, and that's ok."
Hey Fizzletwist
Firstly, I salute you for having the lady balls to go ahead with things despite your height. I've met a few people with Marfan's Syndrome and the size issues are, um, substantial in any case, and more so if you're a trans woman.
Perhaps you would get better information if you asked your question again, but addressing it to tall women. Dealing with the anxiety of being noticeably tall is a different type of challenge to the more standard ones most of us face while transitioning. I know that there are a few here who are up to 6'4" at least...
Regards
Julia
One of my best girlfriends is a trans woman who is 6'4" She and I reasonable worried early on about the impact size has on being passable. Now that woman is in a loving relationship with a 6'2" cisgender woman. We do have great contributors here like Sydney that are successfully embracing their total tall selves. You can do it too!