Was just thinking of this whilst showering today, probably due to another comment I made last night about why I delayed/delaying transitioning.
For me it was learning that I was not alone, there were many others with GID. This was such a revelation, I was so relieved that it was real, I was not odd!
Funnily I had a really close work friend in the UK I always confided in, I recall saying to him how I wish I had been born a girl, hated beards, expectations of being a male, all the bravado etc.... but the subject of others never really came up, so I continued to hide it etc...
This really only occurred around the late 30's mark maybe turning forty, I hid it well, or so I thought, however in thinking I realised that whilst I was not gay, by definition, I did used to always get tagged with remarks around my sexuality, despite being married and having kids... I now fully understand why!
Above was the biggest I ever had, since then it was getting on HRT, recently becoming resolute in my target for full transition...
So who else has had euphoric moments?
L Katy
My most euphoric moment (it still fills me with love and happiness) was when I first tried on breast forms...I put my arm/wrist between them, felt an immense relaxation, sighed, and thought, "omg...that's what my chest is supposed to feel like!"
Now my "breast forms" are living tissue, and I cannot imagine life without them ( or any part of my transition).
I had just gotten my new, better wig. I went to a party where a friend I had known for about 10 years answered the door. He knew I had transitioned because I told him in email and he knew I would likely be a that party, but he did not recognize me.
Had I looked even a little like a man to him, he would easily have figured out who I was.
It was one of the early indications that I really would be able to pass.
First time ever I took an E pill.
my first prescription of estrogen. I dreamt about it for 40 years then finally
Kinda got to agree as a very close one taking my first E pill! Let's call this "a too close to call most Euphoric moment"
L Katy
Getting up one morning with messed up hair, no makeup and seeing a woman staring back!! I just stared in amazement. :)
• The first time I dropped in on a vert quarterpipe was pretty rad.
• The first time I successfully grinded my trucks (backside 50-50). That was New Year's Day, 1999.
• Making out with my first girlfriend for hours and hours
• Indulging in my ABDL kink with my girlfriend at the time (a different one - actually, any love and romance I've had with this sweet lady)
• One particular date I had a few years ago, sleeping on a futon with a wonderful girl (yet another fine lass)
• Wearing a matching dress and eyeshadow, and my mom tells me I look pretty
• Any given time I've laughed so hard with friends, to the point of crying
Mine happened after I was about 2.5 years on T. Prior to that I had a lot of trouble seeing myself as male...I knew I was supposed to be male, but I just didn't have the confidence at all. I was convinced people could always "tell." I had a lot of bad experiences for many years regarding transition, where it was delayed, and even the most supportive and well-meaning people were hurtful. I also had flat out abusive experiences. So those tainted my view on everything and I always saw a woman in the mirror despite the time on HRT. I was deeply unhappy because I felt like I'd never be able to be seen as the man I am, live fully as a man, or see a man in the mirror.
But then I started a new job and was seen as male without question. And quite literally, I had no qualifications, lol...other than life experience and a great deal of passion for people. Management took me at face value and gave me a chance, putting a lot of faith in me and a lot of responsibility into my hands. So I have always felt grateful to them for seeing the worth of my convictions. In turn, I had to become the type of man that I felt the job required. In terms of seeing a man in the mirror...well...that just took some time. Realizing that people saw me as cis and I did not have to out myself unless I wanted to, ever. When I did out myself to someone, she was surprised, but extremely kind and accepting (despite her ignorance in some regards). I also had to out myself to my boss, who could see that I was upset and told me that I did not have to worry about anyone knowing unless I wanted them to know, because my experiences were only something that made me wiser, not something that was written plainly for others to see on my face.
And I just remember one day that I looked in the mirror and I saw a man's face, the face that everyone else saw. And since then I have never seen "her" at all. But it was more than that. I looked into the mirror and I saw a man who had stepped up to the plate, taken responsibility, who values what he does and respects and loves the people he works with and for. Who has a painful history but no longer has to be defined by it. That was such a euphoric moment because I never thought it was would happen. And it was thanks to the people in my life who were able to see my worth when I felt the most worthless, and the people who were able to love me when I was feeling the most unlovable.
First e Patch then first e Shot. The new better wig I'm using now. Looking at myself in new pictures or in the mirror and seeing a woman and not a male starring back at me.
Mariah
I think my most euphoric moments were the major 'landmarks' of my transition that I was desperately hoping to achieve at the time :)
First one was news that Charing Cross had my referral
Another was when I took my HRT for the first time!
Most recently, and quite possibly the best so far was when I saw my doctor sign my referral for surgery form a few days ago, I was totally beaming ^^
In terms of other things, looking in the mirror and seeing my true self brings so much joy ;D
3 of them were seeing my children right after they were born and realizing what wonderful people they were and the possibilities they had.
Quote from: LordKAT on April 11, 2015, 10:43:21 PM
3 of them were seeing my children right after they were born and realizing what wonderful people they were and the possibilities they had.
Yup, you're right, definately Emotional and Euphoric... Cannot deny!
Eggy_nog, that referral would definately make me sing too...
Hi Mariah, yup know the feelings, actually looking in the mirror with Hair makes me feel weepy with how much I've changed
Hi Birkin, fully get it... For me it's the other way, but do get it...
Mugwortcybernaut... Not my most Euphoric, but landing a 30' Jump skiing a couple of years back
Hi Jessica, I can relate to that, except the hair bit :-\
Thanks thus far, interesting :)
L Katy :-*
It was a moment I will remember all my life!
I grew up in thee 1950s and 60s and my 'gender dysphoria' was there from the beginning, even before my earliest memory, but in those days it didn't even have a name. My delusion that I was or should have been a girl was seen as a mental issue and I seemed to be constantly skating on the edge of being institutionalized and treated against my will.
I was 16 in 1965 when I first heard about 'transsexualism' and Dr. Benjamin in New York and managed go get there to see him. It was a bit of a relief to find out that I wasn't crazy (at least not in the conventional sense) but I was from Canada and there was ZERO medical help of any kind at home in those days.
The following year I managed to find a sympathetic gynecologist who started me on HRT at 17 (without parental permission) but the only surgery available was overseas and was ridiculously expensive. I sunk into depression in my early 20s and became suicidal. Although I had the support of my doctor, there was nothing that could be done.
I was 24 when I heard that Dr. Biber had started his practice in Colorado and within days I had arranged to meet him. I didn't have enough money for SRS but Dr. Biber waived his fee and I checked in to hospital in Colorado on Easter Sunday in 1974. My surgery was to be the following morning.
I awoke (partially) from the anaesthetic about 4 hours later, awake enough to look under the blankets and see that the surgery had been done. For the first time in my life, I was at peace! With the Colorado sun shining in my window, I went back to sleep and slept peacefully for the fist time since childhood.
I'll never forget those foggy moments of seeing that it had been done and that the trials of a lifetime were over once and for all.
(41 years ago and still flying high! LOL!)
Coming out to my extended social/work circle was an early big one. I felt giddy and high for days. When I had my hormone readiness assesment and the woman who administered it said she fully expected me to be aproved I was again all over the up side of the emotional scale for days.
Saying goodbye to my male placeholder in a mirror was another powerful moment.
And of course the best was getting my script and taking my first doses of E and spiro. After 30 years of thinking the day would never come...
All I can say is laughter and tears of relief. I will never forget that moment!
Relative to being transgender, some of my most euphoric moments were about finally feeling self acceptance. Starting HRT put me in a euphoria that lasted months. I just smiled every day and loved every change--still do ;D ;D
Quote from: Northern Jane on April 17, 2015, 11:18:59 AM
It was a moment I will remember all my life!
I grew up in thee 1950s and 60s and my 'gender dysphoria' was there from the beginning, even before my earliest memory, but in those days it didn't even have a name. My delusion that I was or should have been a girl was seen as a mental issue and I seemed to be constantly skating on the edge of being institutionalized and treated against my will.
I was 16 in 1965 when I first heard about 'transsexualism' and Dr. Benjamin in New York and managed go get there to see him. It was a bit of a relief to find out that I wasn't crazy (at least not in the conventional sense) but I was from Canada and there was ZERO medical help of any kind at home in those days.
The following year I managed to find a sympathetic gynecologist who started me on HRT at 17 (without parental permission) but the only surgery available was overseas and was ridiculously expensive. I sunk into depression in my early 20s and became suicidal. Although I had the support of my doctor, there was nothing that could be done.
I was 24 when I heard that Dr. Biber had started his practice in Colorado and within days I had arranged to meet him. I didn't have enough money for SRS but Dr. Biber waived his fee and I checked in to hospital in Colorado on Easter Sunday in 1974. My surgery was to be the following morning.
I awoke (partially) from the anaesthetic about 4 hours later, awake enough to look under the blankets and see that the surgery had been done. For the first time in my life, I was at peace! With the Colorado sun shining in my window, I went back to sleep and slept peacefully for the fist time since childhood.
I'll never forget those foggy moments of seeing that it had been done and that the trials of a lifetime were over once and for all.
(41 years ago and still flying high! LOL!)
Wow Jane we grew up during the same time period, I too had no idea of what I was feeling was called, let alone anyone, until the internet came along, that could help, by then I was married wit kids...
That certainly must have been a totally Euphoric moment :-*
L Katy
dont think i had one yet. if i did than i must of missed it :o
Hi Tessa, yep that certainly rates for me... Only thing was I spent everyday looking in the mirror for magic, instantly... :laugh:
Kellam, yeah totally with you, took me almost as long to realize there were more of us, and it was labelled too... Nice ;)
Echo, hang in there 8)
L Katy
As I was going through therapy things were getting really rough as I approached getting HRT. I had a lot of horrible horrible anxiety going through my mind about how things would go. Now that I have it, all I feel is relief and freedom. It helps that I came out to my parents and they said that it doesn't make a difference what I am.
Quote from: Deinewelt on April 17, 2015, 10:03:54 PM
As I was going through therapy things were getting really rough as I approached getting HRT. I had a lot of horrible horrible anxiety going through my mind about how things would go. Now that I have it, all I feel is relief and freedom. It helps that I came out to my parents and they said that it doesn't make a difference what I am.
Yay good 3 points of Euphoria there, really cool parents 8)
L Katy
well i guess my euphoric moment is the fact i have nothing stopping me from starting transition except i have to wait about 3 to 4 months so i can save. thats basically a short time since pay week pops up so fast
Quote from: Echo Alcestis on April 17, 2015, 10:20:59 PM
well i guess my euphoric moment is the fact i have nothing stopping me from starting transition except i have to wait about 3 to 4 months so i can save. thats basically a short time since pay week pops up so fast
Hmm that's nice that you have nothing holding you back, know the money bit :-\ , but your right weeks fly past...
L Katy
one of times was after the session of electrolysis, i was so happy to know i was actually starting to get rid of this horrible facial hair. The other was last weekend, wear I went out en femme in Indianapolis with friends. I will take my first E pill or shot this summer and i am hoping that will be one of the happiest moments of my life (apart from bottom surgery and finding a soul-mate be they male or female, cis or trans)
There are several euphoric moments for me, first seeing my image in a mirror with make up, wig, and a dress. seeing the female resemblance to my mother. First time having a great tuck in a tight pair of white jeans and seeing no bulge ;what looked almost like a vagina. Having men hold doors open for me. The most euphoric events was starting hrt and feeling the results esp the first time. Havent really experienced much on 2.0 yet
Hi Rachel, so good starting the journey, you'll feel really euphoric when you start HRT, and good luck in your hunt for a partner :-*
Hi Brie, recall how I felt the first time fully dressed, I nearly cried, then again (quite a bit ;) ) with all the changes I could not believe it's the same person, I get so emotional.
Yeah HRT is always giving, first time dose, first noticeable changes, fatty deposit rearrangements and on :) soooo giving :-*
L Katy
There were a number of amazing moments. You asked for the single "most Euphoric" one though so I will explain that one:
Last year was WorldPride 2014 in Toronto. I'd never been to any Pride events before and never had an inkling until then it was somewhere I should be. There are three major marches on separate days - Friday is the TransPride, Saturday the Dyke March, and Sunday the feature all-encompassing Pride Parade. Obviously being 'WorldPride-edition' made it a much-bigger deal than usual.
The most euphoric moment of my transition was attending the TransPride, a march of transgender people and a much larger group of supporters. I had grown up painfully shy and prone to wild anxiety about public exposure. Personal growth and the changes brought on by transition and hormones had finally put me in a really good mental place where I was ready to handle being on display simply as a person, not just being openly trans. In very short order I realized I felt completely at peace in front of the crowd and was radiating happiness. I still wasn't officially 'out' to a lot of people at the time but somehow I was comfortable literally on the world stage.
Being somewhat uniquely qualified as a 'trans-lesbian' I was welcome to attend all three major marches that weekend. It was very exciting and affirming to be participating in everything, especially due to the massive scale of the final Pride Parade. Nothing would compare though to the first march and the moment where it finally clicked in my mind that I truly loved and believed in what I was doing and that I was reveling in it!
I don't know if I could ever limit it to just one. It seems each day has something in it that I find "Euphoric" in one way or another.
If I had to come up with only one single most euphoric moment I guess it would have to be the moment that I "got it" and realized that I really was transgendered and that I had to transition in order to be a complete and healthy individual.
There are so many others that were just as good -
Having the discussion about my transitioning with all five of my children and having them all not only be ok with it but a couple of them embracing it enthusiastically.
Giving myself that first injection if E and realizing that my physicaly transformation was really underway.
Finally coming out to someone and sharing the deep dark place inside myself where I had hidden my true self and seeing how much they still loved me.
Getting all of the pieces (clothes, makeup, wig, forms, shoes) needed to transform myself into Jessie and walking out the front door and into my car for the first time to introduce her to the world.
Mine was crossing the point of no return last July. I got the orchi on the 15th, but when I drove home from the DMV on the 30th with my name and gender marker changed, I was thrilled to bits that it could never, ever be taken away from me.
PermaJill, baby!
Hi Violet, more than one is fine ;) , as we go through our transition and life we will get many moments, just one or some stick out more, your, being a "damn I feel me for real" is definately a worthy moment :-*
Jessie, yes, yes and yes to 'em all, coming out to your children/kids must have been quite an uplifting moment as they accepted and still loved you... Ahhhhhh
Jill, yup that would be one of mine shortly, once I get my income stream running and back on track... But there in my mind... Funny as it all becomes clearer and within reach my frustration of my situation mounts... I think that no turning back bit is definately a biggie
L Katy :-*
Probably when I came out to my mother and she said she will always love me unconditionally no matter what and only wants me to be happy. It was a lot of pressure off my shoulders! ;D
Quote from: YoungZep on April 19, 2015, 11:57:09 PM
Probably when I came out to my mother and she said she will always love me unconditionally no matter what and only wants me to be happy. It was a lot of pressure off my shoulders! ;D
Wow, what a lovely Mum... you must lover her to bits :-*
L Katy xoxo
It wasn't a moment, it was a whole night. I heard that my friend had recently started transitioning FTM, so I visited him. I got all dolled up, and he loved my outfit. We went out on the town... to hear him gleefully call my new name from across the room was incredible. At a bar, a very beautiful woman checked me out -- I thought she was just staring like everybody else, but she did a deliberate double-take to make sure that I looked up. When I did look up, she gave me a warm, and very welcoming smile! Happily married, so I just took the smile for a compliment... but damn! I was on cloud nine the whole night, it kept me going through the next day, too.
Haa, wonderful post Sparrow... Truly worthy as the memory lasted
L Katy
The first time I had all the kit and dressed up to look female. I just laughed at the idea that that's totally what I wanted and that It seemed so obvious in that moment. Enlightenment really after 30 years of denial and obvious signs. Jx
after spending so much time being afraid of how I would look, or what others would think of me, I'd say the most euphoric moment so far is the realization that the only thing stopping me from transitioning is fear itself, not the outside world.
Once I realized that my barriers are just a result of internal shame rather than external forces, they suddenly felt insignificant and beatable. Im not quite there yet, but transition now feels more real than ever before.
Hmm I would have to say taking my very first dose of HRT. Seeing how well and quickly the HRT affected me, making my body so much curvier c: and thinking, "this is what my body is supposed to look like."
Getting my first wig, tying a bandana through it, and seeing how cute it looked.
Getting my first pair of leggings, buying my first bra.
After a week on HRT, purposely trying to take a bad picture of myself but even the worst pictures I could take were still cute.
Before I was on HRT, I had to try REALLY hard to get a halfway decent picture of me, not the other way around! xD