Hello :)
I have a strange question about cross-dressing and transition that I haven't seen asked before. Is it really required that someone cross-dressed in their childhood or as an adult for them to have gender dysphoria?
The reason I ask is because I have never really cross-dressed on a regular basis when I was a child I wanted to but my older sister and mom were so much bigger then I was nothing they owned would ever fit me so I never really tried... I did feel like I should be a girl and loved looking at dresses and clothing and wondered what it would be like and wished it could happen but it never did. It wasn't till I was like 25 when I first tried on some women's clothing that turned out to be way too small for me to really feel good about it and it was only the one time so I'm not sure if that really counts .
I really do want to transition and not just a little bit as it would make my lifelong dream of being a woman come true but I'm just thinking that my lack of trying might be unusual for someone with gender dysphoria or someone that eventually transitions and would like to know if anyone else was the same way before they transitioned.
No it's not required because not everyone suffers from gender issues at such a young age and secondly not everyone cross dresses for the reason of gender dysphoria. As far as your feelings and not being able to as proof of your gender dysphoria that is something you would need to mention to your therapist I'm sure they will understand that you couldn't because the clothing in the house was the wrong size for you. Good luck and hugs.
Mariah
I never had any interest in cross-dressing as a kid, or as an adult, until after I decided I was going to transition. I think maybe I tried on a bra once out of curiosity, but I don't even know.
I have zero doubt that I'm transgender. But I think my internal sense is to seek congruity between my appearance and identity. Until I put a few things together and accepted myself, I thought about myself as male, just one who wished he wasn't. Now? Now I can barely put up with going to work wearing men's clothes that I was somewhat excited about last year...
It is not a requirement. I never cross dressed as a child. I did try it at some point, but it was not my thing. It was not until I started HRT and changes started to happen that female clothes felt right. So it's not unusual. It is about your brain not matching you body. What we do externally are just ways that we deal with the the brain body mismatch, and that varies greatly from person to person. It is very possible to do nothing that is typical, because it is about who we are on the inside.
Speaking for myself to me YES. I've always like dressing like a girl since I was 4 years old and always play with girls toys whether in kindergarten or primary.
I have crossdress all of my life , earlier memories is about 7 years old, and have always wanted to wear female clothing but did not realize that I was trangender until age 61.
I think I knew it but repressed it all of this years!
Emily
The first time I put on anything even remotely female was the day after I came out to mum and she went shopping with a few things to wear around the house.
I'm talking about some more girly styled pjs.
I did not cross dress before, I think I was really stuck up with it all. After coming out, it was much better and I started wearind a lot of andro clothing (not xdressing per see).
I got some memories from when I was 4 years old or so. Also preferred girls clothes: panties, jerseys... they were so cute!
Hi Emily.
From the stories here, a straight answer to your question isn't easily come by. Many stories with many outcomes, some leading to transition.
I dressed regularly from age seven, but kept it very separate from my family and social life. I didn't play with dolls or other 'girly' things.
My cross-dressing began over 30-years ago and it's only within the last 5-years that I've made moves towards transitioning.
I'm still torn mentally over transitioning (I've already had a couple of shots at it), but the dysphoria keeps returning with a vengeance.
Hey, what can you do other than roll with it?
Something playing on my mind, to which your question alludes, is what extent external influences determine the choice to transition... or not.
speaking for myself only.....Yes it they did go hand in hand.
Quote from: Emily E on April 10, 2015, 09:19:09 PM
Is it really required that someone cross-dressed in their childhood or as an adult for them to have gender dysphoria?
Not really. Crossdressing and transitioning are definitely two different things.
There are plenty of people who are happy with their gender, but like to crossdress once in a while, like gender bending.
Some people crossdress for entertainment, like drag queens and female impersonators.
Someone with transvestic fetishism crossdresses part-time for sexual reasons, and might be transgender too, but they don't want to transition full-time.
As a transsexual person, to me, cross-dressing is just necessary as part of the treatment for dysphoria. I didn't do it as a child, but I don't think that's much of an indicator. It wasn't until I started transitioning and my body changed enough that I could wear the right clothes properly.
It depends. For me, there wasn't much of an option to cross dress until I was older and out on my own. When I was younger, there was never any way to do it, but I do remember playing with my moms makeup, but there were no clothes that really fit me. I do know that I did try stuff on at times but it was rare. After I was out on my own I just seemed to naturally gravitate towards doing it.
The answer to this is "yes and no."
It is not a requirement to show any symptoms early in life to transition. It is also not a requirement to identify gay or bisexual, or be effeminate as a child or at any point in life. No requirement to hate your body parts like your penis either. Many people realize they are trans later on and many people for whatever reason do not show the typical trans narrative.
However it is common for trans persons to have cross dressed in childhood. Personally I've done it many more times than I could count since age 4. Even my school uniforms I would choose a smaller size so the pants would be tighter like a woman's. Of course I deeply envied the girls who got to wear skirts and dresses as their school uniform and even tried on some from my female relatives. I really melted down when the girls my age started wearing bras. I cried a lot and wanted to kill myself. I also gave my dad so much trouble once puberty hit because I just did not care about life being in the wrong body.
I had limited opportunities to dress because I lived with my dad and there was no female clothing in the house. I had to do it when I went to moms and had alone time which was somewhat rare. Or I had to depend on other relatives. There were a couple of them who helped me and let me dress and said I would look so cute as a girl. I really really liked that. This was before age 10.
Fast forward to when I finally decided to transition, I started back CDing a lot and was just not happy with being in my body. The clothes didn't fit very well. Now the clothes fit a lot better and it is s struggle wearing men's clothing because pants for example do not fit right.
I never identified gay and could never see myself as a man with a man. I was only mildly effeminate and got ridiculed for it so I quickly boxed that back and shoved it into the closet. There was also the real possibility of violence and even being killed which I always had to be aware of.
I didn't include it this in my original response since I only tried answer the OP's question, but I did crossdress starting before the age of 10.
Mariah
I only cross dressed once as a child and I didn't initiate it. I tore my Halloween costume walking home from school and my mother dressed me up as a little old lady instead. I considered it quite a lark, but didn't repeat it. Up until recently, when I started to see results from E, I didn't because the few times I tried after I accepted that I'm trans the incongruity of the clothes with how I looked actually made my dysphoria worse. Just trying on a bra could put me in tears then.
I started crossdressing when I was around 7, pretty young. That was my first encounter with mamma's closet lol
The only crossdressing I ever did was dressing as a guy for most of my life. I never wore women's things until I was 43, but I had wanted to since I was 4.
I was too fearful to even try dressing till I was an adult and did limited (top) dressing for decades. Like Jill, I felt like wearing a suit and tie were actually imposed crossdressing for me. I also know plenty of people who as kids did so called crossdressing but are not out as trans or gay today.
Formulas are for chemistry but don't work well for the complexity of people;-)
Thank you all for responding its good to know that I'm not some oddball in what I did or how I feel in all of this. I am still looking for a good counselor that I can reasonably fit into my life so my feeling that I have gender dysphoria is self-diagnosed and all based on what I know and feel.
I think anyone that didn't go through the cross dressing was spared a huge torment. It started for me at 4 and was relentless my whole life. If I would of been able to live as my true gender it would of been one thing , but to deal with the shame and the hiding and the lack of understanding why I was doing this was just one big stress filled bag of pain. Dysphoria is rooted far deeper then the clothes issue.
Had my first thoughts around 5, started crossdressing at...not even sure. It was so long ago. I never played with dolls or wanted dolls, action figures and sports were always in me. Also, My mom's clothes did not fit me at all, yet I still wore them when I could. made no difference to me. I personally don't understand the people who start crossdressing at like mid 20s-40s. Seems odd to me someone would go that long before finally giving in to crossdressing. But then again, everyone differs. I consider my self trans even thought I don't want any SRS, or the likes whereas alot of girls do. My dysphoria, although pretty harsh, isn't as bothersome as it is for other girls. I have tried hormones a few times and I plan to go on them again in the near future, but not exactly transition doses.
Hi,
I never really cross dressed when I was younger. Only when I started puberty did I start wanting to try on my mother's clothes occasionally. It never really lasted long. A pair of panties for a few minutes or a bra the whole time I was using the bathroom, stuff like that. It wasn't until I decided to transition at the age of 28 did I start dressing in female clothing. I'm 32 now. During puberty I was so envious of girls and their clothes, hair and breasts. Around age 14-15 I wanted to have my own set of breasts. Around 16-17 I repressed that desire. It wasn't until after I started gender therapy that I remembered that desire. So no you didn't have to cross dress when you were younger before you started transitioning.
I knew I wanted to be a girl at 4'ish, I didn't even know about GID, was not in the medical books then... As far as I knew. I also cross dressed from around 6'ish... It was my private way of managing my Dysphoria.
So does one include or exclude the other? Don't know; but they were and have been linked for me.
L Katy
For me, wearing girls clothes at every opportunity was a way of venting my female needs when I was young. But everyone is different. What some of us do, others don't.
Quote from: stephaniec on April 11, 2015, 04:22:12 PM
I think anyone that didn't go through the cross dressing was spared a huge torment. It started for me at 4 and was relentless my whole life. If I would of been able to live as my true gender it would of been one thing , but to deal with the shame and the hiding and the lack of understanding why I was doing this was just one big stress filled bag of pain. Dysphoria is rooted far deeper then the clothes issue.
This somewhat mirrors my own experience. I was too shy and self-conscious when I was a child to do much though. It really took off at puberty and while I liked it I didn't understand it at all. It was horribly embarrassing and kinda terrifying. One time I quite literally had to hide in a closet in order to finish changing back into my normal clothes because someone came home unexpectedly. I had to pretend I meant to play a trick on them because they went looking around the house for me. The closet door was too noisy to open without alerting them anyway.
Once puberty settled down I managed to push it back into the closet for a while but it would keep springing up every so often. Beyond societal shame I was scared because I had no understanding of the independence of gender identity and sexuality. Knowing I had no interest in men but being paranoid that crossdressing meant I must be was pretty effective at burying the issue.
Yep, definitely cross dressed as a child in secret. When I was 13, my mother and I were near the exact same size. We didn't have a lot of money at the time and my mother had a pair of jeans that she gave me as they were a little too small for her. I wore them and love them as they fit me so well. Better than any other jeans I ever had because I always had feminine hips. Even though they looked unisex, it was so nice to wear them.
Quote from: Sydney_NYC on April 12, 2015, 12:22:58 PM
Yep, definitely cross dressed as a child in secret. When I was 13, my mother and I were near the exact same size. We didn't have a lot of money at the time and my mother had a pair of jeans that she gave me as they were a little too small for her. I wore them and love them as they fit me so well. Better than any other jeans I ever had because I always had feminine hips. Even though they looked unisex, it was so nice to wear them.
When I was a kid, my mom's cousin (my aunt) had a pair of tight leather pants. She made one like it for me. I was over the moon. I wore it once and it disappeared. I have no idea what happened. I suspect it disappeared because I liked it too much. Ah well.
I had long hair too. I loved it.
I never crossdressed and never wanted to. I put on my first female garment long after I had decided I wanted to transition, in order to try to be sure.
I've been happily living full time as a woman for more than a year and a half, so the answer to the question posted in the Subject line would be, IMO, no.
Quote from: Violet Bloom on April 12, 2015, 10:19:10 AM
This somewhat mirrors my own experience. I was too shy and self-conscious when I was a child to do much though. It really took off at puberty and while I liked it I didn't understand it at all. It was horribly embarrassing and kinda terrifying. One time I quite literally had to hide in a closet in order to finish changing back into my normal clothes because someone came home unexpectedly. I had to pretend I meant to play a trick on them because they went looking around the house for me. The closet door was too noisy to open without alerting them anyway.
Once puberty settled down I managed to push it back into the closet for a while but it would keep springing up every so often. Beyond societal shame I was scared because I had no understanding of the independence of gender identity and sexuality. Knowing I had no interest in men but being paranoid that crossdressing meant I must be was pretty effective at burying the issue.
our experiences are quite similar , I also almost got caught by my father when I was in high school because he came home unexpectedly
I don't think it's required we are all different, but I used to when I was little, but that's also because I was able to, since I have a sister to play with dolls and stuff like that, actually my sister didn't even like dolls anymore because she is older than me, so I would force her to play with me, and I would use some of her stuff sometimes and pretend to be a girl with her. even though my mom didn't want me to play dolls and such, but since she worked a lot, I would hide that from her... Actually even when I was in middle school I attempted some steps toward transition by getting earrings (I did them myself, and it was really painful lol), and getting longer hair, but then my mom would force me to cut them... ugh I wish I had a supportive mom like one of those in tv about trans children.
I mean if you actually had all brothers it's not like you can do that, but some people don't feel the need until after transitioning.
Quote from: Serena ♡ on April 12, 2015, 10:24:33 PM
I don't think it's required we are all different, but I used to when I was little, but that's also because I was able to, since I have a sister to play with dolls and stuff like that, actually my sister didn't even like dolls anymore because she is older than me, so I would force her to play with me, and I would use some of her stuff sometimes and pretend to be a girl with her. even though my mom didn't want me to play dolls and such, but since she worked a lot, I would hide that from her... Actually even when I was in middle school I attempted some steps toward transition by getting earrings (I did them myself, and it was really painful lol), and getting longer hair, but then my mom would force me to cut them... ugh I wish I had a supportive mom like one of those in tv about trans children.
I mean if you actually had all brothers it's not like you can do that, but some people don't feel the need until after transitioning.
I did mine myself too! but that ish didn't hurt. You're supposed to ice it first, girl!
Hmm... played barbie dolls, read fashion magazines, sometimes but rarely crossdress as a child, worn a wig before, make up, shave my arms as a child, pluck my eyebrows, played girl avatars, first album I bought "Metamorphosis" by Hilary Duff follow by "In the Zone" by Britney Spears. I love Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney.
Then it pretty much died off around 2003. I had to act like a guy.
Not necessarily. Technically the only thing I've worn a couple of times was one of my mother's dresses (around 13-16 years old probably, can't remember exactly), but wanted to wear "girl" clothes. I was too chicken to buy my own clothes and was also fighting it.
Quote from: TransSasha on April 12, 2015, 10:33:09 PM
I did mine myself too! but that ish didn't hurt. You're supposed to ice it first, girl!
My mom and her cousin pierced mine and they did but after a while I think my dad said let it heal back. When I was little, like 4 years old.
I crossdressed when possible. Over the years, I started thinking I was doing it less, but then I realized that instead of doing it every now and then, I was flip flopping between all the time and not at all. It's still taken up at least 50% of my life, but now I only consider myself crossdressing in guy mode.
Haaa, I've self pierced my ears, umm a few times, ice first time or 2 then bought surgical spirit... Worked a treat... But couldn't keep the piercings open as only wore earrings at nights... Just kept getting messy.
Never did the same with belly button piercings, twice done professionally, Twice infected :'(
L Katy
My piercing experience was, I think, uncommon. I just slid a sharp needle through my lobes when I was about 20. I only wore earrings occasionally, in private, but the holes have always remained. They close up ever so slightly, but 26-years later I can still push jewellery through them with ease and without mess.
never really cross dressed when I was younger.. I always loved playing the girl when I was younger. I was 14 the first time I experimented wearing a female clothing was a pair of black pantyhose. I would wear the pantyhose maybe 30 min at a time in secret of course.
I tried on a panty at 15 maybe 16, I know shortly after that got a cheerleader skirt... I dressed in secret for short period of times...
At the age of 19.. I dressed fully up as a woman for the first time.. a huge jump from what I was doing. I remember that night.. that changed my life. I wore a blue winter dress, black pantyhose with black bra and panty. I shaved my legs for the first time that evening. I wore makeup and nail polish for the first time that night.. I had a good female friend help me. I remember how alive I felt, how right it felt.. all those years of wanting.. After the evening I started wearing woman's clothes a more regular basis, which lead to a gender therapy and HRT. I got my first holes pierced into my lobes a few weeks after that first night.