So, for a while I've been using a binder that I made myself using an old pair of my mom's control top pants. I was extremely sick a while ago, and since it was untreated for months, I was hacking and coughing very badly (falling to the ground in hacking fits). One day in class I had another coughing fit when I felt a crack, and a horrible pain in my chest. This happened a few more times (I have a very high pain threshold) until I could hardly sit because I was in so much pain. I continued binding, and stopped when I got better. I started binding again recently and it was all fine and well until yesterday. I came home from school, changed clothes and sat on my bed. All of a sudden I got a horrible, tight feeling in my chest and it was extremely hard to breathe. I immediately ran to the bathroom, and took off the binder. There was an obvious line of where the binder sat, and I now have a few bruises and a massive blister on my shoulder from it. All evening yesterday I felt as if I'd been crushed or something. I posted on tumblr, as I was very frustrated at my situation (getting unbearable dysphoria recently, can't bear going without my binder at all).
I came home from school, and found a reply to my post on tumblr from someone I've never spoke to before. They offered to pay for a binder or put the money for it in my paypal (which I don't have, considering I'm 13)... I declined, but said I may take up the offer later. Is this suspicious, or should I trust them? I feel like it is suspicious, so I'm looking forward to hear what some more experienced trans folk think.
What size do you wear? I have 3 in different sizes that I will no longer need very soon, and if one of them would fit you, I would be happy to send it to you at no cost.
Quote from: ftmax on April 17, 2015, 01:27:33 PM
What size do you wear? I have 3 in different sizes that I will no longer need very soon, and if one of them would fit you, I would be happy to send it to you at no cost.
I'm honestly not sure. I'm built like a tank, so I think I'm like an L or something in underworks sizes, but for GC2b I'm like an XL or so...
Personally, I wouldn't trust someone that I hadn't spoken to before. I would not be keen on providing my address or paypal account to someone on Tumblr if they weren't associated with one of the groups/pages that facilitates binder swaps and giveaways.
I have 2 larges from Underworks (a full length and a half). Take some measurements and send me a PM if you think they'd work for you. I am also built like a tank and happy to help.
Hm, I'd err on the side of caution here. I definitely wouldn't let someone mail you something cause then they know your address. Paypal is a bit safer, HOWEVER, you have to use your real name in order to use it I believe, and I think when someone sends you money they can see your real name so then they'd know your identity. I don't remember exactly but I'm pretty sure both could reveal parts of your identity/location so I wouldn't trust it especially since the creeps go after younger people.
In the meantime, please be careful with the binding until you can do it safely, seriously...I've had injuries from it and I can honestly say it was not worth it AT ALL. They can last for quite a while too. Mine seemed to go away and then as soon as I tries binding again the pain came back immediately.
I would say dont ever give out your address to someone online unless you are sure you can trust them. Most people are probably ok but its still a risk to take as there are bad people out there who can do who knows what with someones personal information
Paypal only requires your email so its not that bad. I would prefer to know someone a bit better than just taking their money though. Depends who it is really. If its a really trusted person on there who often helps people its probably fine, they may just have seen you need help for your health and are offering to help you. There are people who do this for others even if they've never talked to them before. If they send you money though it would show in their activity who they had sent the money to. You dont have to use your real name on paypal unless you are linking it to a bank account. I have 2 paypal accounts, my main one in my legal name and another one I use as a holding account so I can transfer money between the 2 if I want to save money (which Im doing right now with it) so it doesnt get spent. That is in a fictitious name. Never had issues with it. I cant link it to a bank account, only one account can be linked to your bank. I can send and receive money with it though so I dont need it linked. You could do that if you didnt want your real name to be shown to anyone. Use a different email address too for it if you wanted
You definately need a proper safer binder though. It sounds like that was seriously damaging you. Never wear one that is too small/tight for you or you can get the same problems. I would recommend underworks. I have to wear 2 myself though for a decent affect due to size but I've heard good things about GC2b. Been interested in trying one, just down to the money but heard they are more comfortable than underworks
unless you know them irl, i dont think its good to trust someone you meet online so quickly especially if there is money involved.
No, No., No.
This is how you hack accounts.
Don't even respond to them. Change all of your passwords now.
Quote from: Cindy on April 17, 2015, 05:11:12 PM
No, No., No.
This is how you hack accounts.
Don't even respond to them. Change all of your passwords now.
I had responded, but only to turn down the offer politely after what everyone said, so I've done all that may be needed to protect myself.
As I mentioned, I sent him a message saying how I think I can actually scrape together the money for it, and he said it was all ok. I don't think he actually meant any harm, since I had posted that I needed a binder a good few times, but I'm pretty sure I'm all safe.
Sounds dubious.
Quote from: Garry on April 17, 2015, 04:26:22 PM
You definately need a proper safer binder though. It sounds like that was seriously damaging you. Never wear one that is too small/tight for you or you can get the same problems. I would recommend underworks. I have to wear 2 myself though for a decent affect due to size but I've heard good things about GC2b. Been interested in trying one, just down to the money but heard they are more comfortable than underworks
I agree, you need to be careful that you aren't causing youself internal damage.