Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just walking down the street or sitting in a restaurant , how much do you think people really care about whether you appear female or male or any degree in between. I've been totally full time this past week and have gotten absolutely no comments or stare from anyone. I've live in the exact same neighborhood for 20 years and  not a peep for the environment. I've gotten a couple of comments about how pretty they think I am, but those are from clerks that know me as male for a long time. I just don't think the vast majority of people give a c--- about  what shade of gender you seem to be.

I think overall most people are completely oblivious to most of what is happening around them...

Ever tried to manuever a shopping cart through a busy grocery store?  OMG people will stand directly in your way while your just trying to get through an aisle and act like you're not even there!

It depends on the stranger and what their habits and tendencies are, so it'd be different by person.

I have had someone I did not know come into the store I used to work at and say hey, I remember seeing you at the Walmart the day before. Which was weird as I had been at that Walmart(45 minutes away) the day before with my brother and his family and it just seemed like something about me must have stuck with that lady enough that she would recall me from a crowded super store. So yeah, that bugged me as I did not know why a perfect stranger would remember me in that setting with no interaction between us.


So I figure that there is no single easy answer for this.

I moved to a totally different state/town so nobody here knows the old me.  Everyone I talk to only sees me as a woman and not had any second guesses.  As far as stares, I not noticed any except for the pervs who gawk at my breasts or try to walk by and look down my shirt as I am sitting... creeps -_-

the ones who think their sneaky and wait to pass on the side of you to look at your breasts

I voted 1, I think people around Boston notice what you look like, but by and large they don't care.

we're doing good in the statistical sense , heading for another perfect bell curve

You forgot to add "I don't care if they care"... that's me. :)

Zero.  I also have returned the favor.  I frankly don't care what anyone else looks like either.

I think at our very core it is human nature to care how we are perceived. It is necessary, it is how the tribe communicates health, information, culture, trustworthiness, affection, etc. etc. It is how our species survive.

So with that said, I actually do care. A lot. As for others? Wutever. ;D

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 24, 2015, 04:48:32 PM
I voted 1, I think people around Boston notice what you look like, but by and large they don't care.

Good point. Some cultures are very forward and may get in your face about their prejudices.

Other cultures like Japanese people tend to be very polite and passive irrespective of what they *really* think about you.

Having lived in very urban (metro NYC) and rural (rural WV) environs, I give a big "It depends" In more urban areas people ALWAYS rate eachother on various scale, mostly based on how you present/look, followed by  (if they dare speak unto you) how intelligent you seem (their criteria for "Intelligence"). In rural areas people are more real, not so superficial, and tend not to judge too much on appearances. At 6ft tall big boned, big everything and deep voice I was accepted as a woman. Years ago I was (harshly) ridiculed in the NYC suburbs.

I totally envy those who say "I don't give a rat's ass...", or "It's their problem, not mine". I can't. I do care very much what others think. I also try not to let what others think influence what I think of myself

it"s definitely hard not to be affected by some idiot calling you some name out in public. Luckily that's never happened to me , at least yet.

Quote from: JoanneB on April 24, 2015, 10:15:12 PM
Having lived in very urban (metro NYC) and rural (rural WV) environs, I give a big "It depends" In more urban areas people ALWAYS rate eachother on various scale, mostly based on how you present/look, followed by  (if they dare speak unto you) how intelligent you seem (their criteria for "Intelligence"). In rural areas people are more real, not so superficial, and tend not to judge too much on appearances. At 6ft tall big boned, big everything and deep voice I was accepted as a woman. Years ago I was (harshly) ridiculed in the NYC suburbs.

I totally envy those who say "I don't give a rat's ass...", or "It's their problem, not mine". I can't. I do care very much what others think. I also try not to let what others think influence what I think of myself

In my opinion "I don't give a rat's ass..." can only float your ego so far. Because life and living and seeing peoples responses to you will remind you of how much you really do care indeed.

5, but where I live, people really have no place to judge because they often go to the local Wal-Mart in pajamas and sometimes not having taken a shower (the classier ones at least put on some camo and ratty jeans). I have this fear that I might not pass If I don't dress like a redneck girl ;)

It depends on what I'm wearing oddly enough. I get gendered as female 90% of the time, even in dumpy boy mode. I stopped giving a ->-bleeped-<- and refuse to bind my boobs nowadays. I gained confidence when random cis women addressed me as female. It's when I'm glammed up I am hyper aware of people noticing me. I get a little shaky knowing I still have brow bossing and an Adams apple, so I rely on other things to help me.

Big fat zero.

Ten.

It's the ONLY thing they care about.

They don't KNOW anything else about me.

well I put five...when I first started say around sixteen I was really androgynous and just starting to explore things... I didn't care then about passing...I was just trying to find a way to do what felt natural...women's clothes, makeup, nails etc but I never saw myself as a crossdresser as it wasn't a part time thing or some fetish...I got stared at a ton and I was occasionally mistaken for a girl and other times people were just confused...I had pretty short hair no bra or boobs, no hrt, probably didn't do my brows or shave very well and wore really flashy bad makeup and bright hair colors....as cool or interesting as it might sound it wasn't cute and looking at pictures from that time is actually embarrassing...now after hormones, electrolysis, great makeup and clothes, very long natural hair and a lot of people in person and online saying I pass completely and having instances where people didn't know when they first met me both at a trans group and an electrolygist....people still look at me too much at times I feel and I had a guy sitting across from me at a doctors appointment keep making eyecontact...three people ive told said he was flirting but I cant shake the fear he was clocking me...

my point being I do think people care as if they didn't they would never notice people who were different in either a good or bad way...

It matters a lot to me.  In my experience some people care others don't.  Most people are cool and have. Nothing bad to say, in fact I've been getting randomn compliments from other women who don't even know me, but then there are the jerks.  They usually just stare, but I've gotten dirtly looks and have people say mean things.  In my case, I'm in between not doing much to gender myself one way or the other.  I'd probably be better off going all the way and stop giving into fear and waiting for the right moment to go fulltime, but at the moment I think its obvious that I'm different and in the process of transitioning.  Usually I'm okay with that and people are nice;however, sometimes I'm not and people are rude.  For the most part, people!e are cool.  Considering the amount of people that have started to use gender neutral terms and some even using feminine pronouns without asking, I think people are starting to understand and care less about it.  Like always, its the jerks that ruin it.  But yeah, I care greatly about that

I think most people are oblivious to just about everything around them and unless they are actively engaging you in conversation or checking you out (as deciding if your someone they want to hit on or talk to) no one will give you a second look. 

On the one hand, I think people often *do* notice, unless they are totally off in their own world.

On the other, I also don't think people care. Sure, you don't see someone like me everyday, but does it shock people? Not in 2015.

I believe generally that most everyday people wouldn't care; who you are or what you wear... however there are always the prying type that would look quizzically, or the ones that notice clothing styles or dress sense!

Generally unless someone is sitting closely to me I would not notice them full stop. It takes something really out of place to make a second glance...

I guess that's oblivious then....

L Katy

Strangers don't care in my opinion, unless you're REALLY attractive to them. Otherwise, you're just another person, which I have no problem with, since we can't say "hello, how are you" to everyone you meet. I tend to see people not pay much attention when I am in my usual "uniform"; black pants, black shirt, boots. I don't really buy clothing, since I wear the same stuff every week.

When I was in the South, and I wear a nice red shirt, or just something form-fitting.... yes, men tend to gawk at me...  (I am in guy-mode by the way). Females tend to never notice me.... I really don't know... but I only got hit on by 2 women in my ENTIRE LIFE. 1. She saw me daily, and wanted to date me. 2. She was a female celebrity (from Mexico), and I was 14, and just said I was good-looking.

I don't care what strangers look like either, unless they come out to greet me for some reason. The people I care about what I look like are my family, and people I work with (or daily social interaction). Or a guy I am on a date with, but that's a different matter all together.

Quote from: SarahBoo on April 26, 2015, 12:14:50 AM
On the one hand, I think people often *do* notice, unless they are totally off in their own world.

On the other, I also don't think people care. Sure, you don't see someone like me everyday, but does it shock people? Not in 2015.

Hell yes it shocks people. Take the witch to the stake, and burn the witch down!!!

*just joking*

But back when people who didn't fit the norm, just burn them down.

The older they are, the more likely strangers are to be offended by your very existence. I got the dirtiest look from an LOL the other day and I was dressed male. Had my bag with me, as always, but still! Sweetie bought it for me at the Coach Men's Outlet. I live in a very conservative and religious county in NYS. Yeah, we got those even so close yo NYC.

Quote from: Dee Walker on April 26, 2015, 10:22:41 AM
The older they are, the more likely strangers are to be offended by your very existence. I got the dirtiest look from an LOL the other day and I was dressed male. Had my bag with me, as always, but still! Sweetie bought it for me at the Coach Men's Outlet. I live in a very conservative and religious county in NYS. Yeah, we got those even so close yo NYC.

I went into a CVS that I've been going to for a long time and the lady cashier that's in her 70's was checking me out and I had bought eye brow pencil and as she was putting it in the bag she gave out a grunt.

I'd really say it depends on geographical location here in the Chicago suburbs people seem to be very tolerant overall ...mind you I am not full time but dress very andro and between my semi long hair ,nose piercing ,fem glasses I scream andro so I get a lot of stares as in people sometimes try to distinguish whether I'm male or female mostly men are the ones who take double takes as they think I'm prey until they realize I'm male ...lol.. I  present mainly andro so I'd say yup depends where you live I have trans friend in the south she claims its hell with the harrasment but I couldnt say from my own experience in that aspect .

I live in Evanston and it's extremely tolerant around here, but it's mostly college kids where I'm at.

when i go to the va dressed no one even pays attention i think it comes down to not atracting attention to your self just be confident whth yourself and most people are so cought up in there own drama and problems to even care what we look like