Ok, its looks like I have an opportunity to get GRS after a lifetime of pain having the wrong equipment. I have many pro thoughts about doing this and each day the certainty of getting this done as soon as possible is hitting me like a ton of bricks, I'd just like to throw out the question . can anyone think of the cons to the rationality of reassigning your genitals. I know I'm going for it I just want to make sure I'm covering all the bases because it really is a major decision.
I guess you need to weigh up the risks that come with surgery, with the improvement it could make to your quality of life.
We have already stared down big risks, in making steps to transition at all. We've done it all regardless, to make our lives better.
So, if having surgery could make life so much better for you, absolutely go for it.
I am holding off for just that reason. I'm not sure if it will add all that much to the life I've already found. That is just me. Who knows what the future holds though, huh?
I'm excited for you Stephanie :~)
thanks , I'm incredibly excited too. I was talking to my therapist about this before I knew I'd get approved and was saying I wasn't quite sure even though I've thought about it since high school, then with the approval , bam
This may be controversial. So what :laugh:
I was 62 when I went for GRS. My psyches and surgeon very carefully explained my future care. My maintenance and my realistic expectation of future relationships, my expectation of those and how I felt about my body dysphoria at this moment not in the past bu now.
I am a very happy woman in my society, what does GRS do for me?
It forced me to think.
I was also confronted by my surgeon, who very bluntly said "you are 62, do you really want to do 4 dilations every day for the next 6-12 months and for what and when will you give dilation up?
What do you want out of this procedure? [my surgeon is obviously not in Thailand!]. No I am not knocking.
I did have a big think. I have had chronic depression from my gender issues for over 50 years, I have done the booze, drugs and lived on anti depressants.
The last three years have been the happiest in my life. I'm me!
I'm happy.
Do I want to compromise that happiness by stress of maintenance?
I made a decision. It was very hard and very confronting. I was supported by my whole medical team.
It was my decision.
And no, I will not say what it was.
I made my decision and I live with it.
You have to make yours and live with it.
I will give you a hug though :laugh:
Because that is what sisters do.
My Love and pm me if you wish
Cindy
Well said, Cindy! My thoughts exactly. I went through much the same thing. And, yes, I am happier now than I have been in my life.
-Sandy
thanks so much, I know it's weird I'm the same age and when you were posting about yours it made me think a lot because of the maintenance . I 've still got bad dysphoria about this thing I carry around between the legs. I've so wanted the right equipmente for as long as I can remember and I've struggled each and everyday like we all do. I really just a few weeks ago was just going deal with and live the best I could. then the therapist a few weeks ago was saying she thought I was right for it. I felt I was going to deal with it because financially it totally seemed out of reach when the surgeon's office emailed me and said they couldn't do it because Medicare only covered 80 % and I'd absolutely have to have secondary insurance because of the extra costs that could happen , so I just shelved the idea. then yesterday I got a supplement because I need my gall bladder taken out do to infection and that surgeon wouldn't take me for the same reason so I got the supplement and the I contacted the GRS surgeon office and they checked the policy and emailed me back that it was good to go. as my therapist said with the years I have left why not enjoy them.
Quote from: stephaniec on April 28, 2015, 05:52:39 AM
thanks so much, I know it's weird I'm the same age and when you were posting about yours it made me think a lot because of the maintenance . I 've still got bad dysphoria about this thing I carry around between the legs. I've so wanted the right equipmente for as long as I can remember and I've struggled each and everyday like we all do. I really just a few weeks ago was just going deal with and live the best I could. then the therapist a few weeks ago was saying she thought I was right for it. I felt I was going to deal with it because financially it totally seemed out of reach when the surgeon's office emailed me and said they couldn't do it because Medicare only covered 80 % and I'd absolutely have to have secondary insurance because of the extra costs that could happen , so I just shelved the idea. then yesterday I got a supplement because I need my gall bladder taken out do to infection and that surgeon wouldn't take me for the same reason so I got the supplement and the I contacted the GRS surgeon office and they checked the policy and emailed me back that it was good to go. as my therapist said with the years I have left why not enjoy them.
That my sister is the key. Enjoy them.
Your decision is yours and it will be the right one for you.
OK i'm a bit high profile and got upset by people asking me about my genitals. What ever
I said would influence others. I will not accept that. I live my life, no one should or could live mine.
We are unique. We are beautiful. We are women.
Walk your own path.
That is all we can do.
thanks
I had initially thought about staying non-op but I am on the fence for a number of reasons.
One is that my clothing choice is somewhat restricted. Even a slight bulge between my legs gives me anguish. So this mean stuff I want to wear like tight pants and bikinis have to be worn carefully or not at all.
Another is that without GCS I would be taking antiandrogen for life. I don't know what that does to my liver and kidneys. Spiro is OK but occasionally I get cramps due to the lack of sodium.
As silly as it sounds, without a penis there is no temptation to stand up and pee. Yes, I still do it. No, I never do it in public restrooms. After I start, I think to myself "oh crud, what am I doing???"
People say what others think shouldn't matter. But it does to me. I have had friends tell me that they find it hard to call me "she" and "her" because I still have man parts. So I'm kinda telling a white lie. They know I am going for surgery in June after which I will come out. Most do not know exactly what. They know voice surgery is one thing but I am kinda making it sound like I'm doing the whole shebang.
Another thing that may happen is that my birth country may sooner or later allow me to change my birth certificate. They may require surgery.
Relationships. No need to elaborate. I can't do it pre-op/non-op.
Acceptance. More people in the community are comfortable with non-op. Previously you were "not trans enough" if you didn't "go all the way." Not now.
Cons:
Medical complications. Fistulas, diabetes complicating healing and other horrible stuff. I am afraid. I am afraid of dying, or worse yet walking around with a colostomy bag for the rest of my life.
Regret. What if I have regret? Can't change my mind after the fact.
Being "not enough" for the rest of my life.
Maintenance. However I have been looking into this and it doesn't seem that bad. 4 dilations a day for 6 months to a year then reducing the frequency after that. I can deal with that. But it is a major time suck and I was told that "it would own your life."
And finally, the biggest reason - I am seeing promising new therapies that could grow tissue from stem cells and similar. So I am thinking, should I hold out until they get this perfected?
definitely can be complicated
A colostomy bag would definitely not be fun . I have a bag hanging from my stomach due to draining an infected gall bladder , but that's temporary and totally not fun.
Oh, wow, congratulations! I seem to recall this is something you personally really wanted, so that's terrific news for you.
That said, I suspect you know the main downsides - recovery can be prolonged and brutal, especially for those of us who aren't kids anymore. The various potential complications are scary enough, but even if it all goes perfectly, you may spend an unspecified period of time feeling like you were hit by a truck. (I was in the best shape of my life going into GRS, and was thoroughly flattened for *months.*)
Just in case you didn't know and this is potentially something you'd be interested in - those are big ifs and I'm not pressuring you at all! - it's possible to get a version that looks and functions precisely as naturally but which leaves you with a 1" or so vaginal cavity instead of the full vagina. Pro side is no long-term maintenance/dilation and faster healing and recovery; the cons I'm sure you can decide for yourself.
Stehpanie you need to do what works for you and only if it works for you. I know for myself a couple of people on here who at one point were going to and then were fine not doing so has made me take a hard to look to make sure that GRS is something I have to do and for me it's yes, but your also a lot older than I am and the issues that go with that are important considerations. In the end we all want you to be happy and find the decision that works for you because you will be no less a woman for not doing it. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
thanks, they sent me some forms to fill out and if I decide to continue going forward I'll be making an appointment pretty soon for consultation. Yea the age thing is important to consider , having the most sensitive part of your body rearranged would be challenging for a young little camper. Plus if... I do it I have to make sure its outside of the range of the flu season because it would probably kill me if I got a bad flu in the middle of recouping or I'd end up jumping out a window, my body has a bad problem dealing with bad flu viruses .
Congratulations Stephanie.Do what makes YOU feel happy,but do explore all possible options.
yes, my mind is on a quest to examine all the doors
I am 57 and had mine done in February in Thailand by Dr Sanguan Kunaporn. It has gone very well without any problems so far. Two others who had it done at the same time have also not had any issues. Things do go wrong occasionally but that is true of any surgery, and of life itself.
I think not having the surgery because of having to dilate is crazy. As time goes on the frequency is reduced so that it is only once a month or less.
I had to have the surgery. It was causing me major GD. That is what drove me to travel across the world and pay a large sum of money. In a sense it was easy to do because I was driven.
I feel that it was the best thing I ever did.I feel 'right' and 'normal' now. At last I feel at home in my skin and complete.
that's good
Stephanie, here is the list of pros and cons that I compiled when I was doing my soul searching: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=144907.0
Let me know if it helps.
Good luck.
Quote from: suzifrommd on April 28, 2015, 05:55:01 PM
Stephanie, here is the list of pros and cons that I compiled when I was doing my soul searching: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=144907.0
Let me know if it helps.
Good luck.
thanks much I'll let you know
thanks that helped more thoughts to contemplate. I think the pain is probably my biggest concern , How long does it last
Quote from: stephaniec on April 28, 2015, 04:49:56 AM
Ok, its looks like I have an opportunity to get GRS after a lifetime of pain having the wrong equipment. I have many pro thoughts about doing this and each day the certainty of getting this done as soon as possible is hitting me like a ton of bricks, I'd just like to throw out the question . can anyone think of the cons to the rationality of reassigning your genitals. I know I'm going for it I just want to make sure I'm covering all the bases because it really is a major decision.
Its a huge decision and its yours... you have jumped through all the hoops and climbed all the ropes and your finally ready to jump the gorge to be where you thought you wanted to be so its understandable that you want to be sure and now question whether you want to leave it all behind and jump that gorge and seize that prize which is now in sight or stay where you are and always wonder what it would have been like to have that prize.
There are medical issues that can occur both during and after the surgery which I'm sure your well aware of and there will be the social issues you would no longer be at that between point where you are now you would be for all intents and purposes a women just like any other woman your age (other then the dilation) making the type of relationships in our society less complicated in many ways.
I'm a couple years behind you in age (I'm 50) and wish I would have started following this path a lot sooner (like when I was 10 LOL) but here I am sill a guy moving forward getting my life in order, hoping that one day I will make the full transition and be what I have always wanted to be... I know it will be hard on me even now and will be harder when I'm older but to me I would rather try then sit around wondering what could/should have been.
Whatever your decision I believe that everyone here, myself included will support you.
Good Luck :)
thanks I appreciate all the support. I'm filling out some paper work now, I finally figured out how to save my pdf from the email they sent so I'm not finding a blank document when I retrieve it from storage, so I'll get it sent off tomorrow.
Quote from: stephaniec on April 28, 2015, 06:20:55 PM
thanks that helped more thoughts to contemplate. I think the pain is probably my biggest concern , How long does it last
The pain was NO BIG DEAL. The worst part was having to lie still in the hospital - I got all sorts of muscle cramps from that. The pain at all turns was manageable. I didn't ever have to take pain meds. In terms of pain:
SRS Laser Electrolysis
very good to know
I'd say, on that 1-10 pain scale, the pain never got past a 4, and that was in the first two or three days. After that it was maybe a 2, tops. They give you good pain medication.
I was up and walking within 18 hours and by day 3 my biggest complaint was the catheter. :) Plus once the packing comes out along with the drains and the stitches holding those in place, the discomfort (not pain) reduces considerably.
thanks much appreciated
I am also in the evaluation stage for SRS. I will be 68 in Dec., and after reading the posts that have been submitted, I find much comfort from the comments of those of you who are post-op. I know things could be hazardous for my age, but I have to be courageous and think of how happy I will be to finally look down and see what I have imagined for so long. I detest the "junk" between my legs and am willing to endure the pain that will ensue after surgery. I have been in the envy mode regarding the feminine form for over 55 yrs. & I am ready to be the woman that I have kept in solitary confinement for most of my life. You mentioned that you have found a surgeon in the USA that accepts Medicare. I have searched for one to no avail. I also have a supplemental policy that would cover what Medicare doesn't. I am a veteran as well, and have had great success with their treatment plans for the Trans community. Hugz and best Rgdz, Joi
the surgeon is in Chicago and he operated on a75 year old woman in January , She sued Medicare to get the operation and Medicare declined to fight the case, I Think she was the first to get Medicare to pay. It's on the web under 75 year old woman has reassignment surgery.