I have hair that only Thor can rock and still look masculine. I love it despite being very gendered, though it is getting to be a pain to maintain... but I feel like I need to cut it in order to appear more androgynous. On the other hand it feels pretty futile to try to appear androgynous with DDD cups anyway. :-\ Then again, maybe cutting my hair is the least I can do until I can get top surgery. But one of my favorite things to think about is how great my long hair will look and feel against me once my chest is out of the way.
I've been trying to weigh the pros and cons of going for a big chop, and I'm currently leaning toward going through with it and after top surgery I can get a wig or something to achieve the same effect. It won't be exactly the same since it won't be my hair, but I think I'll still enjoy it.
You don't necessarily have to have short hair to look more androgynous, and I wouldn't say long hair is "very gendered". Yes, long hair is typically associated with girls, but plenty of guys have long hair, too. Heck, even my boyfriend has long hair, and he still looks like a guy.
I can understand it being easier to maintain when it's short, though. Part of the reason I keep my hair short is just because it's just too much of a pain to deal with if I grow it out. I first got my hair cut real short (pixie cut) nine years ago; since then, I've tried growing it out a few times, but it never gets longer than shoulder length (if that) before I get sick of my hair always falling in my face and being a hassle to wash (my hair is pretty thick, so it really is way easier to manage if it's short).
I feel sorry for you having DDD-cup breasts. Mine are only C-cups, and they're annoying enough as they are.
Yeah, long hair on guys is becoming more and more acceptable. I just feel like appearance-wise for the moment, and especially with long blond hair, people won't believe me when I say I'm non-binary. But maintenance is becoming more and more of a factor too. It started out as a sort of experiment to see just how long it could grow... and as of right now the answer is at least waist-length. I've been planning to cut my hair for a long time too, but I wanted to at least make it to hip-length. But it's taking forever for it to grow nicely, I trim the long and wispy ends that don't conform with my hemline.
I'm sorry they're there too lol. It makes binding look really stupid unfortunately, with my bandwidth only being 32". I'm hoping that, in order to get top surgery, my gender therapist won't ask me to do some kind of passing test. Because I really can't. I'm able to fit into D-cup sports bras though aka what I wear every single day.
Key, are you on T? Don't know if you'd want to go that way, but that might be one way to masculinize your features. No amount of hair would make you look feminine.
Quote from: suzifrommd on April 30, 2015, 07:37:01 PM
Key, are you on T? Don't know if you'd want to go that way, but that might be one way to masculinize your features. No amount of hair would make you look feminine.
I'm not on T yet, but I want to be on low doses in the future. I need to get a gender therapist's approval first, but the last few years has been difficult getting things done with my insurance and doctors shifting around. I'm optimistic about getting one this summer though.
i used to have very long hair (down past my waist) and gradually cut it shorter and shorter until it's above my ears, now. although i do miss some aspects of having long hair, i also love my short hair now. i think when you have long hair it's easy to get very attached to it, even if it's not ideal for you. cutting hair seems like a very big deal when you have long hair, but it's really not, i've realized. it will grow back eventually if you end up not liking it short.
i find people don't perceive me as androgynous or male even with short hair so if you're a while from passing, it probably won't help much in other's perceptions of you. but it might help you to look in the mirror and see someone different-- it's helped me to see a "less feminine" appearance, even though that's a bit stereotypical (short hair doesn't necessarily negate someone's femininity).
it really all depends on you and what makes you feel best when you look at yourself. it's hard but i think we all have to balance dysphoria with regular appearance concerns. there's no use cutting it all off if it will make you feel worse and only give you a small benefit in the dysphoria department. but it might be a good idea even if you don't like your short hair initially if it helps you cope with your body much better.
Hey Key,
hair is so tricky! I'm not on t yet either (I plan on doing full dose, binary transition). I used to have short hair (pretty gender neutral cut I'd say) and decided to grow it out a bit to achieve a more androgynous look. Of course, some folks keep asking "if you identify as male, why don't you cut your hair short", but I try not to pay too much attention to them. I never had a distinctly "gendered" haircut and I refuse to buy into the idea of "male" or "female" hairstyles :D. So even though I'm sure a more traditionally masculine haircut would probably help me pass, I decided to stick with the style I have and which I really like.
Have you considered going for something like this: http://hair-styles-new.com/undercut-with-lengthy-hair-for-guys Maybe cutting it a bit shorter and the undercut could help to give a more androgynous impression?
I'm definitely okay with short hair, I've planned on it for years now after I'm done growing it out, I just wanted to have it longer before stopping. What really brought the pros and cons of keeping it or getting rid of it was that I purchased a short wig last month and I really fell in love with how it looked. On the other hand I've been patiently growing my hair out for seven years now so it's become a huge investment.
The undercut is actually a really good idea though. I think I'll go for that style and if I'm still craving all-around short hair I'll go for a pixie cut. I've never had hair that short in my life so the undercut style is actually really fascinating to me.
That sounds really good! Keep us posted :)
I started growing my hair out as a devotional thing because I had a horrible habit of buzzing it all off. And I found I felt way better about myself. I didn't feel like I was trying to be something most people would assume I'm not, and didn't feel like I was trying to wedge myself into a box.
Not to mention there's way more style options for long hair.
So, cut your hair if you really want, but not because you think it will help you read as androgynous more easily, because that's not necessarily the case.
I have had everything from pixie to mermaid princess hair. I prefer one length at my shoulders. That seems to be my go-to for gender neutral.
i think the thing about hair is so interesting, because it seems like for many people, to look androgynous you have to have short hair (if you're dfab). So, I'm doing the exact opposite and is growing out my hair. Long hair can be androgynous too! Also, I have the super curly-fluffy version.
I don't know if you watched the Jenner interview but the moment the pony tail was undone, the whole look changed. If you would like to keep the long hair, I would suggest you use a pony tail but in public don't pull it tight so the hair drapes around your face a bit. In the early 1980's I worked with a former hippy who wore his hair that way and it reached almost to his belt so that look has been around a long time.
My hair is pretty much like Thor's, but auburn/red. I can do pigtails, curls, up-dos... and nobody even looks twice before calling me "sir". It's my face. I've even gone so far as plucking my facial hair to get rid of my moustache shadow. Even makeup doesn't help!
In short: if you like your hair, don't cut it.
I still have long hair, and I don't intend on cutting it. I'm in a big city, so I still get called Sir just from binding and acting like myself a lot, even though I haven't started T yet.
As for getting a prescription for T and not wanting to have to look and act like a GI Joe figurine, if you can find a doctor or clinic that does informed consent instead of the WPATH standards that might help.
Personally, I would rather not pass (often true) all the time than risk looking like a cop.
I had really long hair about a year ago because i wanted to look like Legolas... Let's just say that didn't work out. lol So I cut it to appear more masculine and I'm really glad I did because it's so much easier to care for. ANND it doesn't get stuck to things or swish around my face. I'm more comfortable with short hair.
Quote from: sparrow on June 22, 2015, 09:43:03 PM
My hair is pretty much like Thor's, but auburn/red.
Fun fact, Thor (the mythology one, not the Marvel one) is really a redhead :p
I have a little tip for you; plastic hair clips. it might sound like an obvious thing, but using one and having them on me all of the time is a serious situation-saver for me. they create an illusion of short hair, and in some pics that i post, and people are constantly asking when i cut my hair. (i have long hair and i do not identify as cis female; somewhere between/around femme-ftm and agender.)
the good thing is, if you go out somewhere with your hair down and it suddenly strikes you that you don't want it long, you can clip it up and go on. or vice-versa. : )
The irony for me is that I've had my hair much longer when I was still presenting as just male, though I'm currently in the process of growing it out. For some reason, I can get amazing length in very little time at all, and usually I just tell people it's my winter coat. What my friends and family members don't yet know is that next year I'll be out as genderfluid to them, so by then I won't be in a hurry to cut it right back as I've done in the past. Also, it seems as if I've been very lucky (with my hormone therapy), since I'm "blessed" with 38D breasts - I couldn't believe it when my partner checked this measurement for me recently!
Short hair yuck. Why do ftms think you have too have a buzz cut too present male? I know guys who have long hair,when I was presenting male I grew my hair long and haven't looked back. Nowadays men are wearing long hair and women short hair,figure that one out.
Quote from: cheryl reeves on October 30, 2015, 12:57:52 PM
Short hair yuck. Why do ftms think you have too have a buzz cut too present male? I know guys who have long hair,when I was presenting male I grew my hair long and haven't looked back. Nowadays men are wearing long hair and women short hair,figure that one out.
Random fact: I'd actually say that most guys advise against a buzzcut for young trans dudes because the contrast of youthful/feminine face and buzzcut often brings out feminine features (and is perceived by people as either "rebellious young woman" and/or "lesbian".)
It's hard. We live in a society that latches on to any hint of female presentation -- like a one-drop rule of womanhood. It's why little feminine things like doing one's nails are often really visible on feminine men and trans women, but an FTM can shave his head, wear men's clothes, bind, pack, and put on a shirt that says "I'M 100% BOY" and still be seen as female.
Navigating societal expectations of masculinity can be really challenging because of this. I'd probably laugh at a cis guy who was afraid to grow his hair lest he be perceived as feminine, but as a trans guy, I really do feel like my "maleness" could be redacted at the slightest hint of feminine expression. Everything becomes possible evidence of my femaleness (to society). A cis guy in floral print is a cis guy in floral print; with my features, I even stand
near a flower and people see a woman.
The fact is, unfortunately, long hair can make it difficult for trans guys to pass, or even to be taken seriously as masculine-of-center people. It sucks. After T, things become easier, but before that, the hair isn't just hair -- it's a visual cue.
Some guys out there are really loud about how [xyz aspect of feminine expression] doesn't make them a woman, but for many of us, safety and comfort is synonymous with a certain degree of conformation. Not everyone can afford to subvert norms.
Of course, a lot of us (like me!) just prefer short hair. ;D But that's beside the point, haha.
Well, I'm presenting male with longer hair and honestly, especially in my age group, i feel like a minority of one in my city. Most men of all ages in my part of the country have very short hair. The only men with longer hair also have a beard. Longer hair with no beard sticks out.
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There is no chance that i will have short hair. I've loved my red hair since i was a child and have missed it for years. I can't wait to take my biotin daily.