where most of the human species see's the other as an object of sex and mating, we as transgender see the other as our proper self. When we see the beauty of the other instead of trying to feel that beauty through the act of sex we try to attain that beauty through a physical manipulation of our phenotype . were not satisfied to achieve unity and bind with the other through acceptance as the other as separate , but we need to totally express the other as our selves. Whatever it is genetics , environment , neither or both or something else , why are we so forced to change.
I've always been drawn towards the belief of reincarnation.
Some inner voice keeps telling me that each time we're reborn we change gender to maintain a balance but from time to time we get born into the wrong body thus causing this deep, unshakable feeling that we need to change our gender to be comfortable within ourselves.
wow, you really got me thinking. to me, it feels like body robbery.
For me, being a woman is never about being a woman. I am a woman, at least female, mentally. My brain is female. I see a man in the mirror. Its kind of like being the ugliest girl in the world.... I want something my body needs hormones.... I dont know why this happen.
But why I dont commit suicide?
I am not f" up, my body is healthy and my brain as ill coordinated as it is... is perfectly abnormally "normal".
Why is the sky blue?
Why is water wet?
Why was I born this way?
What is an elephant crossed with a rhino?
'Ell-if-I-know.
i wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy.
Quote from: Wild Flower on April 30, 2015, 06:12:38 PM
i wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy.
please send me a slice if you do
I'll be baking cakes in the morning to take to the womens shelter, I need to learn how to make this rainbow cake that spreads happiness
Quote from: Miharu Barbie on April 30, 2015, 06:08:28 PM
Why is the sky blue?
Why is water wet?
Why was I born this way?
What is an elephant crossed with a rhino?
'Ell-if-I-know.
a rhinophant
Quote from: Miharu Barbie on April 30, 2015, 06:08:28 PM
Why is the sky blue?
Why is water wet?
Why was I born this way?
What is an elephant crossed with a rhino?
'Ell-if-I-know.
Best answer.
Humans are wired to identify with one gender and attempt to mate with the other. That mechanism functions in exactly that way in the vast majority of our species.
Human brains mature differently from the way animal brains do. It's the principal difference between our species and the other millions of species in the planet. In order to accommodate that, biological sex develops at a different time from internally wired gender. This fact leaves the possibility open for differing conditions at those two different times to bring about a physical body that doesn't match the brain's gender.
Because the human drive to identify with one's gender is so powerful, we're forever trying to figure out how to bridge the gap between internal gender and body sex.
However, my theory is that as a species, we've also evolved the ability to fight off these impulses during the years we typically produce children. Once I had produced children, I gradually found the need to mate receded, leaving this intense desire to change my gender.
good analysis
To me its a biological imperative, I need to transition to survive.
It seems to me that it's possible to overthink this.
I've pretended all my life to be other than who I am, and as I transition, I'm becoming myself. I was born with a female body, but it's women who have always been "other" to me; I've never understood them on any deep level, never identified with them, never felt invested in "women's issues" -- supported, yes, but they were never MY issues.
I don't, in any way, "desire to be the other."
Quote from: Tysilio on May 01, 2015, 10:28:59 AM
It seems to me that it's possible to overthink this.
I've pretended all my life to be other than who I am, and as I transition, I'm becoming myself. I was born with a female body, but it's women who have always been "other" to me; I've never understood them on any deep level, never identified with them, never felt invested in "women's issues" -- supported, yes, but they were never MY issues.
I don't, in any way, "desire to be the other."
I've felt exactly the same way
I never looked at women and said, "Golly, I wish I was curvy, shapely, and sexy like she is!"
I did say (thinking to myself), "What is wrong with me? Why don't I, why can't I connect with men or their "manly" activities?! OMG I hate feeling so alone, so...different."
I only began to fell like myself as I began to transition...the more I transitioned, the more comfortable I became with living.
off-topic but
Quote from: Miharu Barbie
Why is the sky blue?
Why is water wet?
Why was I born this way?
What is an elephant crossed with a rhino?
We know the answers for the first 2.
I wish I knew the answer for the 3rd but then again maybe not. I just want to feel in harmony with my feelings.
Quote from: Tysilio on May 01, 2015, 10:28:59 AM
It seems to me that it's possible to overthink this.
I've pretended all my life to be other than who I am, and as I transition, I'm becoming myself. I was born with a female body, but it's women who have always been "other" to me; I've never understood them on any deep level, never identified with them, never felt invested in "women's issues" -- supported, yes, but they were never MY issues.
I don't, in any way, "desire to be the other."
This, in the opposite direction. I could empathize with men but I saw them as foreign. I was forever looking for my feminine outlets even though I was a tomboy. Every straight tomboy has that period when she starts crushing on her guy friends and her femaleness comes to the fore. I had that moment but I had to choke it back. My constant internal question was..."why do men think I am one of them and why don't women see that I am one of them?" I didn't want to be the other, I needed to stop being forced to be the other.
I do not desire to be "the other " I have been a woman or female all my life. It was just an unfortunate circumstance that I was born with a male covering. Hormones for me are not to change me from a male to a female but are to adjust my covering to that which is more feminine as to be more acceptable to my mind,heart and soul. They have at very low dose worked miracles I am gendered female and given due respect as a female . I was at a meeting today and five men were lined up in front of me for coffee at the machine they all stepped back and let me go in front.Chivalry is alive and well and still dwells in some men. Patty
Quote from: justpat on May 01, 2015, 08:01:35 PM
I do not desire to be "the other " I have been a woman or female all my life. It was just an unfortunate circumstance that I was born with a male covering. Hormones for me are not to change me from a male to a female but are to adjust my covering to that which is more feminine as to be more acceptable to my mind,heart and soul. They have at very low dose worked miracles I am gendered female and given due respect as a female . I was at a meeting today and five men were lined up in front of me for coffee at the machine they all stepped back and let me go in front.Chivalry is alive and well and still dwells in some men. Patty
I agree completely!
I always felt that family worded it as such, because they have only recognized me as the boy they raised and got to know. I was never, categorically, male.
Funny thing, when I was little, maybe three, even, I wore a shirt on my head. Yellow, orange, something long. I felt like I knew why then. I lacked the words to describe myself back then, but I knew I was happiest.
I'm not sure why, I guess it never mattered to me 'why'. I just knew in all certainty. I thought maybe it had something to do with the environment, my mother, my friends, but... I couldn't explain it then, and I don't really know how to now, but I always felt whole when I was in a dress.
To me it's less philosophical and more biological. As more and more evidence continues to accumulate that suggests that in utero hormonal exposures, resulting in a different gender structure to parts of the brain versus the body which houses it, it just seems obvious that the self (residing in the brain) would feel distressed and want to be what the brain expects it to be.
Family have asked me why not fix the brain? I reply that first, we don't know how to fix these issues in the brain, and second, making changes that drastic in the brain might effectively destroy our sense of "self" and result in a person completely different from the person you know.
Quote from: LizMarie on May 02, 2015, 12:51:26 PM
Family have asked me why not fix the brain?
Recently heard a guy say "I think this is just a phase our society is going through. Eventually, we'll come to see trans-ness as a mental illness and treat it as one." As if conversion therapy hasn't been tried before, and fallen out of favor because of the massive harm it causes. People say the weirdest things sometimes.
Is it even possible to fix the brain and keep the person? Is there any reason to? I view the physical portion of transition as on par with tattoos, piercings, plastic surgery, weight loss and bodybuilding -- you're changing your body to fit the image that you want. The social aspect is hard for people, but it comes down to basic empathy and manners. Deliberately misgendering somebody is just as demeaning as using racial epithets. What else is there? Accepting people as they are is just common decency.
So, why not fix your family's brains? All they're "suffering" is a little awkwardness because you've challenged some assumptions they've been brought up with. The fix for that is just some open-mindedness and compassion.
Even when I'm in existential crisis mode, I want to transition just so I can do my part to burn down the institution that is gender.
I like my brain a lot , it's gotten me to where I am. It's not my brains fault that some circuits got diverted or what ever. My brain has been very good to me.
I really wish I knew the answer to this question, It's been on my mind 24/7 for the last 60 years. There has never been a nanosecond that has passed by my consciousness that I have not asked my self what the hell is going on. since I can remember at age 4 I've so deeply desired to be a female, you can say it's been an eternal flame consuming my soul. I've cried my heart out all my life asking God what the h--- is going on. I remember one crazy night I was practicing make up and trying on this pretty dress I had bought. this was about 20 years ago and I was thinking of GRS and asking God if I'd be able to function after the surgery and at the same time I thought about it there was a bright lightning flash and thunder, it was storming outside, I took it as a sign that God was on my side. I've talked this out with my therapist so much, but the only conclusion we've come up with is that my brain for whatever reason is wired this way. I've tried hard to deny , but I can't . I spent quite a number of years refusing to allow myself to think about it , but the end result was thoughts of depression and suicide.
I've been thinking about this. I don't desire to be the other, I desire to be accepted.
I once years earlier;and at more appropriate and doable age confronted my need to transition..I chickened
out..and now, have finally accepted and starting to move in the right direction..But; ohh!! The regrets
of not facing my true self earlier!!Years of additional testosterone poisoning to overcome and the years
to my life to rewrite. :embarrassed:
Before transition, you could say all that was visible of my identity was the tip of the iceberg.
Then GD hit from out of nowhere with the force and tragedy of the Titanic.
Now, it's no secret there was so much more to my identity floating below the surface.
---
I guess for me, it wasn't a sense of wanting to be the 'other'. I just wanted to be authentic.
So far, so good :~)
I can totally relate to this. Since transitioning I have learned so much about myself that I didn't realize or want to know about before that I'm truly blessed to see, know, and even understand now. It just took GD last and final hit to make me realize what couldn't be delayed any longer.
Mariah
Quote from: SarahBoo on May 03, 2015, 10:07:31 AM
Before transition, you could say all that was visible of my identity was the tip of the iceberg.
Then GD hit from out of nowhere with the force and tragedy of the Titanic.
Now, it's no secret there was so much more to my identity floating below the surface.
---
I guess for me, it wasn't a sense of wanting to be the 'other'. I just wanted to be authentic.
So far, so good :~)
The other?
As already stated by other posters, I too pretended to be the "other" for years and it made me absolutely miserable. I filtered a large portion of my personality and replaced it with traits that I loathed merely to gain acceptance from boys who I really had little in common with, because that was what was expected of me. I never really got that acceptance anyways! Just fake friendships and jealousy of their girlfriends!
Ugh. Thank goodness that's over. Things are much better now :)
Wow had to think about this one Stephanie... but only for a second :-*
For me: I understood through my childhood, that I could never look female, I was devasted by this thought, so I managed it through most of my life till about 18 years ago. So 12 years ago I started my journey, too scared to be alone, until lots of things lined up! I had to condition my self and believe that one day I will be at one with my mind, soul and emotions. I will very soon now!
So why did I want to be what I physically wasn't? no idea, wish my life wasn't /isn't as complicated as that! But it is and I'll manage it as best I can from now on, as I have in Dysphoria since childhood (long before GID was even labelled)
L Katy :-*
I'm extremely happy now that I have the proper hormones in my blood, but honestly life has been a torment.
Quote from: Jayne on April 30, 2015, 06:02:46 PM
I've always been drawn towards the belief of reincarnation.
Some inner voice keeps telling me that each time we're reborn we change gender to maintain a balance but from time to time we get born into the wrong body thus causing this deep, unshakable feeling that we need to change our gender to be comfortable within ourselves.
I too am drawn to believe in reincarnation and that we have had many lives, both male and female. However, I don't think I was born into the wrong body at all. I actually believe my higher self wanted this experience and that I chose to be born as transgender.
Quote from: Alaia on May 04, 2015, 04:16:34 PM
However, I don't think I was born into the wrong body at all. I actually believe my higher self wanted this experience and that I chose to be born as transgender.
I like this.
I do not feel like I was 'born into the wrong sex', at all. There was nothing wrong with me physically, before. The issue was that 'who' I am did not match.
I cannot change who I am. But I *can* change what I am, and how I live.
If there is fate, then my fate is to go through this.