During the past few months, I have been seen by the general public as female no matter how I'm dressed. This was unexpected, as I thought I would have needed FFS to be read as female but that is not the case. As odd as it sounds I wasn't ready for it. I think I've passed the grey area of androgyny and have gone far into male fail. When I'm out and about dressed as myself, nobody does a double take or stares as I thought might be the case. I now comfortably shop freely amongst cis women, where as before I got more attention when I was in "boy mode".
In the back of my mind I do know I have brow bossing and an Adam's apple bigger than the average woman, but people don't seem to focus on those things but it does take away from my confidence a little. I'm at the point where I'm purging my old wardrobe, as it no longer makes any sense to present as male or even try. My voice is not where I want it to be and everytime I think I'm there, I hear a cis female who takes the wind out of my sails. I haven't had a job in a while, so no one of importance is noticing any changes.
Nowadays I find the need to build my new wardrobe and really really go full time, ready or not. I'm still gonna get FFS but it's quite astounding to me that I'm seen as a female anyways. Which is a good thing. :icon_mrhappy:
it took me 17 months from starting hormones to go full time
I pretty much jumped right in.
Before I started hormones, I used to have girl time after 8:00pm each day. I would close all the blinds and windows first. One day I realized I missed the curtain on my back door while I was doing the laundry. I was about to drop the laundry to close it. I said F*** it I don't care I'm just going to leave it. The next day I felt so empowered that I decided to push a little harder. I put on a jeans skirt thinking that it could be mistaken for shorts. No one either cared or noticed that day, but a teenager gave me a hard time the next day.
Since he was recording me with a phone, I decided I was coming out on my terms and not his. I posted a message on facebook to my neighborhood. I got a lot of support over it. I was very shocked and surprised how well it went. I contacted HR and came out on their time table. So I was mostly out almost all at once within just a few days and completely out only about a month later. This was all pre-HRT. One of my tickers in my sig mentions my full-time status.
It' amazing how this can very so wildly. For me I started fulltime a little over two months before starting on hormones. Hugs
Mariah
I tripped and fell in, it was embarrassing too.
Christine your transition sounds wonderful and I am sure many of us would love to have that experience of male fail regardless of what we wear. Congratulations and how delightful to be so much more comfortable as yourself. While your progress was unexpected It certainly seems a sweet introduction to full time. No doubt we all have moments or days of doubt but this gives us opportunities to reassess and improve.
I am one of the jumpers and I likened it to my experiences as a paraglider pilot. That initial fear and trepidation as we stand, face into the wind, raise our glider wings and step off that cliff. Then to feel the rising thermal and sense of control rather than falling. Sheer joy!
Part of my jumping into full-time before HRT was being old and waiting too long. I so admire people who now connect the dots and accept themselves early on with family and community support.
Rock on!
I struggled with understanding who I was so much, the last 10 years as a male was insane, self medicating, attempted overdoses, after I started to go on a medically supervised hrt and couple years of therapy and detox then I was ready to go full time and let that other person stop running my life. for me it was a life time, for those who knew me they would say I rushed right in.
Quote from: Christine Eryn on May 01, 2015, 01:13:51 PM
During the past few months, I have been seen by the general public as female no matter how I'm dressed. This was unexpected, as I thought I would have needed FFS to be read as female but that is not the case. As odd as it sounds I wasn't ready for it. I think I've passed the grey area of androgyny and have gone far into male fail. When I'm out and about dressed as myself, nobody does a double take or stares as I thought might be the case. I now comfortably shop freely amongst cis women, where as before I got more attention when I was in "boy mode".
I
I jumped in with both feet, but it was only because I came out at work, ended up getting fired and took what I considered, at that time, the biggest gamble of my life and went full time. In the end it turned out to be one of the best things I have ever done.
easing into mine.. currently part time [still cant go full time as i live away from my parents and i come over for weekends and they dont accept]
I was full time about 2 months in to a low dose. Once I worked up the nerve to leave my house in a dress and interact with people as a woman, it was pretty much all over. I also didn't realize how much I hated "boy mode" until I realized how fake it really was. It was "safe", but I just felt so much better being genuine. Plus mah bewbs were starting to get sort of obvious anyway and I wasn't about to get another set of boy clothes when I could be out buying girl clothes instead.
Then I had to figure out how to best come out. It was pretty much like, "Dear family and friends, I'm transgender. I'm on HRT, I've been full time for a month and I'm not ever going back, so please scrape your jaws off the floor now. My name is Jill, BTW."
Apparently nobody saw it coming, but it seemed to perfectly explain why I was noticeably depressed and sour all the time. People commented about how they'd never seen me happy before after meeting "the real me" for the first time.
1,5 month of hrt and i jumped in to full time living and never look back, i just felt if i spend one more day as roleplayng male i will just die.
I got a lot of wierd looks but month after month it was better and better.
I'm still easing into things, mostly because of work. Outside of work I pretty much never try to present as male anymore. I'm not necessarily trying to at work either, I just haven't actually said the words yet.
I need to contact HR soon before I just get aggravated enough to blurt it out one day.....
To be honest, it didnt hit me until now that I am FT. I started gradually with ear piercings, wearing feminine bottoms, shoes, make up, and starting to come to work fully dressed and no one even bothered to ask.
I am officially going to transition at work on May 11. HR has been amazing and supportive. It also helps that I am in Canada which has one of the most progressive legislation for the LGBT.
:)
Quote from: Christine Eryn on May 01, 2015, 01:13:51 PM
During the past few months, I have been seen by the general public as female no matter how I'm dressed. This was unexpected, as I thought I would have needed FFS to be read as female but that is not the case. As odd as it sounds I wasn't ready for it. I think I've passed the grey area of androgyny and have gone far into male fail. When I'm out and about dressed as myself, nobody does a double take or stares as I thought might be the case. I now comfortably shop freely amongst cis women, where as before I got more attention when I was in "boy mode".
In the back of my mind I do know I have brow bossing and an Adam's apple bigger than the average woman, but people don't seem to focus on those things but it does take away from my confidence a little. I'm at the point where I'm purging my old wardrobe, as it no longer makes any sense to present as male or even try. My voice is not where I want it to be and everytime I think I'm there, I hear a cis female who takes the wind out of my sails. I haven't had a job in a while, so no one of importance is noticing any changes.
Nowadays I find the need to build my new wardrobe and really really go full time, ready or not. I'm still gonna get FFS but it's quite astounding to me that I'm seen as a female anyways. Which is a good thing. :icon_mrhappy:
I relate to this a lot. If male fail is happening regularly it is definitely time to go full time. For me I did it in two steps. Out in public, but not work. And then finally out at work as well. It's almost been a mouth now that I am out at work and everywhere else. It's been awesome :) I found that being full time, my voice and skills with makeup improved very quickly because I was doing them everyday all the time. The practice time drastically increased :)
I'm not full-time...or even part-time yet but I am easing into it.
I went full time in November 2013, three months before starting hormones. It was, to be honest, awful. I had short hair so had to wear a wig which I hated, it was so uncomfortable and the more my hair grew underneath the tighter the wig became. I had only just started electrolysis with a bad practitioner so had permanent goatee beard shadow and was making little progress in getting rid of it. And I had no idea what my style was.
The worst thing though was my confidence, it's never been good but it hit the floor.
Was still the right decision though. You don't really know what kind of woman you are until you are full time, in my opinion.
Had a catastrophic meltdown on 2/18/2013 finally received an appointment with an understanding PCP on 7/22/2013 went fully dressed to the appointment at the VA in front of scores of veterans.Started full time the same day it took a lot of courage but I did it, at least no one was shooting at me. Dumped the man clothes at goodwill and started HRT on 12/25/2013 five months after going full time. I guess you might say I dove in, best decision I have ever made and never have regretted it for one minute. Patty
Quote from: carmenkate on May 01, 2015, 05:28:19 PM
To be honest, it didnt hit me until now that I am FT. I started gradually with ear piercings, wearing feminine bottoms, shoes, make up, and starting to come to work fully dressed and no one even bothered to ask.
I am officially going to transition at work on May 11. HR has been amazing and supportive. It also helps that I am in Canada which has one of the most progressive legislation for the LGBT.
:)
I don't really know when I went full time either. I started changing my attire and appearance as I lost weight, after the first 50lbs or so my entire wardrobe had changed. I haven't had anyone say much about it at work. I told my boss and HR several months ago, and we are planning on telling the rest of people some time next week. I really don't think anyone is going to be surprised, it is pretty obvious at this point. I wont be able to start HRT till the end of June, that is over 5 months from when my therapist approved it :( I haven't wasted the time though still losing weight and getting in shape, my first pair of jeans was a 24 now I am in 14s my goal is to get into a size 10.
I was out and about after six months on HRT, then full time less than three months later. For me the really big scary hurdle was telling my parents. Told them two days before I went full time.
During my first attempt at transition though I was on HRT for 26 months and never got to full time before deciding to throw in the towel and burrow back into denial. :(
I haven't actually gone full time yet, my current plans are to spend the next 8 months or so trying to loose 50-75 lbs, get atleast part way through laser and practice my voice which to me seems the hardest part, by December I will have been on hrt for 10ish months.
I would like to try going out part time soon but most of the weight I need to lose its in my stomach and there just isn't allot of clothing for girls with little to no hips/butt and a big stomach. Well mabye maternity cloths.
OK I haven't gone even part time yet so if you want to discount what I have to say I'm totally cool with that...
I'm a little bit of a planner so I've been thinking about this and in my situation I was looking at sort of easing into it just before I start HRT (start growing hair out and getting hair removed 6 months to a year before and start wearing women's slacks and button up shirts to work starting when the HRT starts wearing dresses/skirts on the weekends) and then going full time 6 months to a year in with a legal name change at which point I take a month off and get FFS and voice surgery then start to wear dresses/skirts when I returned to work (if they let me keep the job anyway) up and to the point I went full time I wouldn't be overt about it making sure I bound my chest while at work so no one would see any breasts that I develop till I go full time. Its not really that I'm embarrassed (I'm sure I will be for at least a couple days) its more that I'm worried about loosing my job but if that happens I'll just get another.
At 2 months HRT I starting dressing very androgynous but used the men's room. Sometimes I would get sir, other times ma'am. Around the 3 month mark I was getting weird looks in the men's room and ma'am was a lot more common than sir. Then at 3 1/2 months I decided to try full time since laser had gotten rid of most of any shadow. I was gendered female everywhere. I was suppose to take a trip to Florida for a conference for my wife's and I business and I decided that this would be the test. I didn't even pack any male clothes. On the trip I didn't have any issues, was gendered female the entire time and using the women's room wasn't an issue either. On the way home, I told my wife than now it was time to file for my name change.
I eased in. Started wearing female clothes out in broad daylight for purposes other than theme parties August of last year. I steadily increased the frequency of wearing female clothes going to class, work, and town, and got to 50/50 about 3 weeks before starting HRT on New Years. Got to pretty much full time in February.
The thing that helped me most was that I live in a student co op, which is basically a house full of Berkeley hippies. The mentality among my house mates is that gender roles suck, and that if someone breaks gender roles, they are awesome. I remember last November, at least 6 male bodied, male identified housemates went to a bar with me and everyone wore dresses. That was one of the more memorable nights of my college experience.
Wow, I was actually going to post a similar thread about this. I think I'm in the same boat as you!
I'm just part time right now (not out at work), but like you, I find that its starting to not really make sense to go out in "male mode" as it seems to confuse people a bit. I was dressed androgynous today at work and was told by a co-worker (who hadn't seen me in a few months) that I needed to cut my hair because I looked like a girl. My voice could still use quite a bit of work as its hard for me to maintain a consistent pitch, but it gets by ok if I dont speak super loudly.
I'm going to try to get FFS done in December or January, but I feel like I might be holding myself back by not going full-time as soon as possible. Probably shooting for a few months from now to actually go full-time...going to slowly ease my way into it at work.
Tomorrow is 5 months on low dose HRT for me. And the dysphoria and depression were literally gone on day 2. So the last few months I've been enjoying my estrogen-fueled mental stability. The drawback is that I haven't had the feelings of desperation pushing me towards full transition, but it has helped me to make decisions with a level head. And I've decided that with low dose HRT I could continue as a guy... if I had to. But I really don't want to do that.
I have an appointment with my doctor this week, and I plan to kick up my dose. I'm planning for a full transition of a year or so (hair growth, hair transplants, lots of hair removal), but sometimes genetics have a mind of their own. :)
I'm doing reasonably well part-time, and looking forward to the next steps.
I eased and eased closer and closer until I began experiencing male fails. I had been on a transitioning dose of HRT for about a year and it was getting harder and harder to conceal the changes. I was living as a female everywhere but work. The male fails pushed me into making a transition plan with my therapist and getting on with my transition.
One Friday I showed up at work as the male me for the final time, and the next Wednesday I showed up as Eva and i've never looked back. Of course that was all done with the knowledge and approval of management.
I started by trying to ease in immediately after I fully accepted myself. I got hold of a few women's hiking and workwear garments that I thought I could sift in. I had always had a few such items to keep me sane. But outside of work I began dressing more and more and it felt so good to be that free. I wasn't working much but each time I turned up I wore less and less men's clothing. Then I talked to a trans helath advocate at my local lgbt clinic and said that I was trans out loud to another human being for the first time in my life. That felt so amazing that I was out to everyone I know within two weeks. By that time I had stopped wearing men's clothing all together. I'm still using men's rooms but I haven't had too in a month. I frequent places with unisex facilities. I have thrown out everything in my possesion that belonged to him at kept the things that are mine. I haven't legally changed my name but I am just shortening my birth name so that is not pressing. I am about to start hair removal, I am still bald but the hrt which I started a month and a half along my path of two and a half months, is working on that. I wear hats to cover and my short but growing remaining hair is doing its best. I am working on my voice but I still get a lot of sirs still but I am starting to get a few ma'ams and I get tons of ums. I also have been adding more and more feminine things. It is a slow process but it is helped by all my friends, coworkers, bosses and family using my name and the corect pronouns. For me it was all about shedding a lie, I needed to feel fully truthfull. This isn't about how good I look or don't at the core, it's about how I feel and I feel great. The first month of low dose was the best of my life and we just doubled up this past week. So, I don't know if I quallify as full time yet but I don't think I'll know when it happens. Part of me just wants to keep being a transwoman.
I just pretty much jumped right into full time.
I came out to my best friend a few hours before her New Year's party. She was shocked but so incredibly supportive (and now she says it all makes so much sense)! And she did a lot of my coming out for me (with my permission, of course), which helped immensely, telling people that I now go by...and so on. From there I came out on Facebook and that was a HUGE relief. Once I did that I started fully presenting exactly how I wanted to, and it's been pretty smooth sailing since then. I have a pretty masculine face so I still get misgendered a lot, but I'm trying to do my best to focus on the feelings - how I feel, how other people tell me they feel around me - and hopefully HRT will help with a lot of that. It's only been two and a half weeks of it and so far I feel SO much better! I figured it would be best to jump into full time so that I wouldn't have to do any explaining to friends as I continue to deal with the effects of hormones at the same time!
I am still struggling with using the women's restroom though. I have had some days where I feel confident enough, but for the most part I'm terrified that I'll get called out as a "man using the women's restroom" - and we all know the stigmas attached to that...
But on the whole I am really happy with having jumped into full time and with where I am now!
I jumped in. Was into my third month or so of hormones and was supposed to meet a friend for dinner, but then I figured I wanted to go out with female clothing instead of having to bear guy clothes again. Asked him if that was cool with him, he said sure, and then bam, I went out as female and never looked back.
Getting to finally stop wearing guy clothing was an amazing feeling.
I kinda just jumped in... for me it was easier... because I was moving and I decided.. at my new place I was a female... so the day I moved i kinda dressed unisex,... and from that day on I just wore woman's clothes.
I see a lot of what I have experienced in the stories of you good folks. One thing I failed to mention originally was the fact it has taken me years to get to where I'm at in my transition, and passing kind of fell into my lap if that makes any sense. I was on the fence about going full time and never looking back. The more I think about it, that's exactly what I'm going to do very soon. ;D
I was on hormones for a year then I just jumped in
I just did everything in baby steps , but made sure I kept moving forward until a few weeks ago I did the total full time.
I've been on a slow slide for decades which took much a much steeper fall a couple of years ago. Even so though, while I am on hormones and seeing a therapist, I can't go full time. Not yet due to an agreement with my wife. To be honest though, I wasn't ready until recently. It's taken pretty much this entire time to get my chin clear. I didn't have the confidence to go out with facial hair.
Anyhow, you get the idea, my story is that I am easing into it.
I jumped right in more or less however I tend to be terribly impatient so I was just being myself :D
I planned on going full time a couple of months ago but still used boy mode in situations like going to sprotring events and going to the VA. But thanks to a friend of mine i have been full time and loving it.
I eased into it and I think it's the best way in my opinion. Before going full time I was on hormones for about a year, had about 8 sessions of laser hair removal and started growing my hair out. The changes that happened that first year made me look more feminine so when the time to be full time came people where just like ok. I feel like it's easier and not as much of a shock then if you just wake up one day and put on a full face of Geisha and come out dressed.
I kind of ... stumbled into it. :) Like someone else in this thread, I was full-time outside of work for a while before I noticed! I started HRT in February, and by about late March I was consistently going out as female but thinking that I might still choose to present male again, so I didn't consciously think of it as [mostly] full-time until it hit me in late April that it'd been at least a month since I'd voluntarily appeared as male anywhere but work.
At work it was a much more conscious thing, since we had to plan it and arrange things through HR and so forth. But I showed up as me in early June and that was that.
12 months into HRT went full time... but had FFS and no choice at that point..
So in a way I jumped right in.. Took a while for me to get used to it.. now just no big deal.
The hardest part was deciding what I like to wear and make up.. now Its no biggie..
I think I went to fast... but that is kinda my way of doing things.. full speed ahead.
Dodie
Jumped in I suppose. Or eased in quickly? In three months my breasts were poking through my shirt, my face was clear of hair and softened, fat had started to shift a bit, and I had incorporated some female elements into my wardrobe. So male fail came quick. At one point I went out in guy clothes, but carried a small purse. Even though I sounded like a guy, I still got ma'am'd. It just snowballed from there, I think because I got addicted to hearing that from people. Three months in, I waxed my eyebrows and hit total male-fail. Unless I talked, I always passed. A month later I went on a trip with a friend for a week and spent the entire time as a woman, testing the waters. Used the women's restroom for the first time (and several more times during that trip) and haven't gone back to the men's room since. Didn't have any problems so I went full-time. And I think soon after that my voice caught up. It feels like it all happened at once though.
I guess I am just jumping in head first into the deep end of the pool :o I have been on injectable E for 2 months and am seeing some pretty good results. I filed for my name and gender change and have the hearing for that in two weeks. Since I am in a profession that is licensed I really can't go full time until I get the legal name change in place. I will have all of that completed by the middle of June and I have already met with HR and Employee Relations to schedule my change over at work and effective 6/15 I will be full time (even at work) with a completed legal name and gender change on almost everything. :D
I went full-time after about 10 months on HRT. Before then, I had been gradually easing my look more and more into androgynous territory, presenting female on campus, and stocking up on women's clothing but I balked at going all the way because I thought I couldn't do it. But after a while interacting with the world as a man was taking its toll on me and I decided I had to take the risk and be me.
I made it a point that, from the beginning of the 2014 school year on, I would be Rose for the rest of my life, I would abruptly stop wearing any items of male clothing in public, and I would complete my transition by changing my name and gender marker by year's end.
I did it. I'm almost 2 1/2 years on HRT now and more or less fully transitioned (though I'm still not ruling out bottom surgery). I pass well, even though I never wear makeup and never bothered (or will bother) with any sort of top surgery.
My $0.02 on FFS: It's not really worth it unless:
A. You have an exaggeratedly masculine face and have had extreme problems passing because of this.
B. You're starting later in life and unlikely to get the full benefit of soft tissue changes that come with HRT.
C. Your brow ridge and jaw contour causes you so much dysphoria that you won't be complete until it's gone (because that's a perfectly valid reason!)
But if you're just worried about passing, try without the expensive top surgery first! I'm a big woman (5' 10" and 230 lbs) with a beefy Scots-German frame. I'm not petite or gracile by any measure. But what I've found is that if you project a plausibly feminine deportment and grooming and can stand a messy trial-and-error process learning to work with what you've got, you'll save a lot of money and possible disfiguring complications by minimizing the amount of surgery you get done.
I'm rounding 1 year on low dose HRT and am part time, could go full time now even before increasing doses. I've feminized quite a bit hence the longer stay on LD. I'm getting some male fail and men staring at me in casual settings where I dress ambiguously but no male fail at work where I have to now wear a jacket all the time (lawyer so it's in the dress code). Not sure when I'll pull the trigger to full time but it's probably next year. In the mean time more hair growth more practice with friends and more getting used to being me the times I get to which are about 80% of the time I'm not at work. I suspect full time will be about 24 months in and when male fail is regular.
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I had originally planned to ease into gong full time but life sometimes throws us curve balls. I was planning on coming out at work, but was terminated for other reasons the day I had planed on making my announcement. I went home that day, I took off my male clothing and told myself I would never wear it again, and I haven't. Two weeks later I filed the paperwork to legally change my name and gender and I started HRT five months after gong full time.
Easing in with a hard date to go full time.
I could say I'm mostly part time "after hours and weekends." Work and the kids school really are the only places I'm not. Church I am, sorta.
I will be FT once I take off to go to Korea. When I come back to work in July I will be transitioned over at work and thus full time. I have a firm date with work for the switchover.
I would have gone FT sooner but I don't want to just switch mid term in school for the kids.
I just jumped in. Don't even know what level of transition I will undertake. Name change is the only thing actually in process as of now.