I'd love to hear what others have to share on this. I know if I decide to transition that I'll need to make big changes in my life. I guess the girl in me is a tomboy though as I've always been into cars and motorbikes and to this day I'm always spending time working on them as well as riding and racing bikes whenever possible. Part of my main struggle is that I feel everybody involved in the scene I'm part of wouldn't understand. I feel that if I was ever to pursue these things again is need to move to somewhere new and to make new friends...
Sorry, my grammar is much better, I'm just typing this in an iPhone and it keeps incorrectly correcting for me
oh, I'm a complete tomboy as well. though I'm not in to sports are cars or what not, but I love combat boots, fighting and I don't like dresses or skirts or makeup and I rather my hair short.
QuoteI guess the girl in me is a tomboy
Lots of cis gals are tomboys. Why can't you be one too? :)
Nothing says that you have to give up the things that you enjoy in order to be your authentic self (well, maybe you should give up some of the gross behaviors :laugh:). Girls do the same things that guys do after all. I wrench on my car where I live and yes I get some weird looks but so what? Be the girl you want to be, the girl you already are - not who you think girls "should be".
Jessica, Stereotypes really are meant to be broken. As others have pointed out many girls work on cars and other activities that are considered to be guys activities. There is nothing wrong with it and enjoying them and wanting to do them doesn't make you any less the woman you are. Each of us is unique so be proud of the authentic unique person you are. Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: Jessica_Doll on May 01, 2015, 10:56:13 PM
I'd love to hear what others have to share on this. I know if I decide to transition that I'll need to make big changes in my life. I guess the girl in me is a tomboy though as I've always been into cars and motorbikes and to this day I'm always spending time working on them as well as riding and racing bikes whenever possible. Part of my main struggle is that I feel everybody involved in the scene I'm part of wouldn't understand. I feel that if I was ever to pursue these things again is need to move to somewhere new and to make new friends...
I've lost all my friends to my femininity before. I t sucks, it really makes you feel low to have people turn their backs on you because you no longer wish to repress the woman in your soul. At least, that's how I felt at first, after a while, I realized that people who can't accept me as Maddy, don't deserve me in their lives. Sometimes things just don't go like we planned, but we become stronger by holding our chins up, and facing the next day with the ferocity of a mother lion protecting her pride. As for being a tomboy, one of the best things about womens' fashion, is that no matter your style, you can find a look that suits you. Just be strong, don't let other people push you away from your true self.
Lets see: There are female F1 drivers, female Indie drivers, stock car racers, oil riggers (one is a member here) female astronauts, test pilots, mechanics, steel workers, building workers, crane operators, concrete pourers (one is a close friend she runs a concrete poring business), roof workers (another close friend, she reckons she can climb a ladder in high heels).
Where in the manual of life does it say a woman cannot do anything she wants to do?
I found the classic car and bikers all OK with me when I go to shows or meet people I hung around with before.
Quote from: Cindy on May 02, 2015, 02:57:07 AM
Lets see: There are female F1 drivers, female Indie drivers, stock car racers, oil riggers (one is a member here) female astronauts, test pilots, mechanics, steel workers, building workers, crane operators, concrete pourers (one is a close friend she runs a concrete poring business), roof workers (another close friend, she reckons she can climb a ladder in high heels).
Where in the manual of life does it say a woman cannot do anything she wants to do?
Right on Cindy! I helped my daughter rebuild the engine in her Rover car a while ago and we had fun doing it too despite the neighbours looking over the fence in disbelief.
Quote from: Cindy on May 02, 2015, 02:57:07 AM
Lets see: There are female F1 drivers, female Indie drivers, stock car racers, oil riggers (one is a member here) female astronauts, test pilots, mechanics, steel workers, building workers, crane operators, concrete pourers (one is a close friend she runs a concrete poring business), roof workers (another close friend, she reckons she can climb a ladder in high heels).
Where in the manual of life does it say a woman cannot do anything she wants to do?
Very true Cindy, thanks for reminding me. I can only imagine if is was a sexy curvy girl that I'd look much better in a set of motorcycle leathers :)
Quote from: big kim on May 02, 2015, 04:04:42 AM
I found the classic car and bikers all OK with me when I go to shows or meet people I hung around with before.
I guess the great thing is that people go to those events for the cars and bikes, not the people watching and knowing what you're looking at still gives you as much credit as you had before
I view my gender identity as like 25% of my totality. I love girlie-girl. I also enjoy many, "guy" sort of activities. Plus I am..... frugal. I can do a brake job for 1/4 of what it cost to outsource it. Takes 1 hr out of my life.
I cannot deny being that sort of person any more then I could keep on denying the woman inside of me
The stupidest thing I ever did was selling off all my tools and my sidecar outfit during my transition because I mistakenly thought that they couldn't be a part of my life anymore.
I am a girl - that being said, one that is struggling to figure out where I fit on the gender spectrum - and I drive a muscle car. ;-)
I have the same problem occasionally. It occurs to me that I've tried building my life around fitting gender stereotypes before, I chuckle about not learning my lesson yet, and then go about my business.
There are few things sexier to me than a girl with a wrench in her hand and grease/dirt on her face...
Quote from: femmebutt on May 02, 2015, 11:53:24 PM
There are few things sexier to me than a girl with a wrench in her hand and grease/dirt on her face...
Steady on girlfriend ;D Have you ever tried to work with tools without messing up a good manicure?
Jessica - just be who you are and enjoy it! Recognise your physical limitations and do what you can to render them irrelevant, without them dominating your life. Enjoy your bikes!
Hi,
Hmmm , Interesting and I wonder why,
Okay im weird so lets have at least that part right and after that what ever I say well does it matter .
Im a builder by trade and was trained by men some were lovely , plus did joinery again more men and worked on in the heavy trades on big sites again men on farms and yes you got the point .
Okay did any of that make me like them look like them or be like them well of cause not why because im a female ooops, then what the hell was I doing around men on these sites working and learning my trade and I did,
I was perceived as a male and nothing was said by me, after a few years I ran my own show and now still do detail for women , why because they prefer a woman on the job /site .plus had our daughter work for me plus others of cause ,
yes I fixed and redid cars trucks and any thing heavy duty on wheels farm gear and redesigned machinery ,
Now would you say all of this was only men can do or what the hell is a woman doing this . well I can tell you I was not going to sit behind a desk all day and type or be inside a factory when I can build them no thanks and im not a tom boy I may be other things ....... not that .
and if you go to other countrys youll find us doing building on large building sites and yes I,v seen them and know them so there you have it we can do as good as men and dare I say it even better , WW2 will attest to that ,
Im pretty normal for a female with out my womb Im tough and can hack it yet feminine enough to just be myself I don't look pretty and don't need too, what I lack I make up in other ways , and my background and experance sure helps as well ,
Trust me on this we can take the men on and do as well as they can , they had the upper hand not any more ,
...noeleena...
Muscle cars, hot rods and sports cars were without question the most masculine part of my personality. These days I don't twist wrenches any more, but I still like to rent seat time to drive hot laps in exotic cars on the race track. And I am not giving that up.
Other than that, I like to play golf (and dream about all the cute clothes I can wear on the golf course). I also love gardening (that's the earth mother in me.) I also love interior design and decoration -- but I've done repiping and rewiring in order to make sure the house works as good as it looks.
When I was in denial about being transgender, I thought of myself as a guy with a well developed feminine side.
So now it turns out I am a girl with a bit of a masculine side.
So I am not really giving up anything. I am still the same person I always was. I am just bringing my appearance in line with who I am inside.
I have long believed that I can do anything i want to. Not everything, but anything. Choose what you want and like and go for it. Stereotypes mean nothing.
Quote from: Echo Alcestis on May 01, 2015, 11:11:19 PM
oh, I'm a complete tomboy as well. though I'm not in to sports are cars or what not, but I love combat boots, fighting and I don't like dresses or skirts or makeup and I rather my hair short.
You sound like Revi from Black Lagoon.
I have wondered the same thing. I work on cars, I have raced motorcycles, I shoot. I have came to the conclusion that I am going to do what I like still and if my current friends don't accept me then oh well. There are a lot of people out here that will. I am sure I am not the only one with a .308 and a dress. Here in Detroit a girl had one of the fastest mustangs around and she built it herself.
I think rhe hardest thing is to accept that not being average isn't a bad thing. When you think out of the box great things can happen. I have never followed the pack in business but did with my life and happiness. Pretty dumb. I am at a point that I want to enjoy myself as me not what I think everyone else wants.
I would like nothing more than to be able to fit in to the stereo typical image of woman hood..
Problem is; I have decade worth of a male life..some of which has become the only thread of enjoyment
which allows me to still remain in this world..with out these.. I would become one of the successfully portions
of the 42% statistics.
Yes; I would like to be/do all those girly things but transitioning at older ages is so much harder to do.
My mother, a ciswoman, gets out under the hood of her car on an almost daily basis - she's currently restoring a 1965 Chevrolet Chevelle Malibu/SS hybrid and refuses to let my father do too much on it (partially because of his health, but mostly because that's just who she is). She used to tell my sister stories of how when she was younger, she wore jeans, rode dirt bikes, got into fist fights, etc., against her father's wishes - he was an old-fashioned type who believed a woman's place was in the home. He wasn't misogynistic, he was just raised during the Great Depression, when that was just how things were. He pitched an absolute snit whenever she got her first car, because she insisted on doing all the repairs and maintenance herself. And you know what? Woman can wrench circles around me, and I was raised male!
There exists every different kind of person under the sun in the world. A lot of the time, we feel as if we should present ourselves a certain way because of a preconceived notion or stereotype, but that is harmful for anyone. Reputations can be a prison, and it's painful to mold yourself to fit a reputation. (Look up Humble the Poet. He has some nice stuff to say about this.)
I most certainly have a lot of "guy" things about me, but I can still allow myself to identify as a girl. Just like how there are very feminine guys out there, there are most certainly masculine girls out there as well.
Best of love to you :)
I did my daughters rear breaks last weekend and changed her oil this weekend. I wish she would watch and learn but she is obsessed with a spring tan.
I only trust myself with family breaks and I hand fit them.
When I was growing up they was no money to take a car to a shop.
I agree with everyone here. Just be who you are. I'm a transman and I still enjoy making jewlery--not wearing it, just making jewelry to sell or give as gifts--I don't have to give that up. I can still enjoy making crafts, and that doesn't make me any less of a man. I refuse to accept artificial stereotypes. I'm even keeping my hair long (lots of guys do). So maybe that'll make it harder for me to pass. So what. I like my ponytail and I'm not cutting it just so that I can fit some stereotype. I am a man with long hair who likes to make crafts, and is also into wilderness survival as a hobby, and is taking up flintknapping. I am a writer, a singer, and a bit of a bass player (though rusty since my bass was stolen). I am me. I am Julian. Anyone doesn't like it, that's not my problem.