I'm starting to come out to more family. Not a lot, just a few extended family members who I'm very close to. I want to do this and I want to do it one on one.
My wife disagrees. She thinks we should be doing this together to show a united front. That makes sense, but I feel with my close family, I'm more comfortable doing it myself.
I understand if it's her family or couple friends. And it's not like she hasn't told friends of her on her own. I feel like this is another way for her to control me. I've felt for a long time that she needs to maintain a level of control over or else she thinks she's going to lose me.
Is it wrong that I want to tell some people on my own? I am telling her before I do so I'm not keeping her out of the loop.
I'm inclined to agree with your wife - presenting a united front is typically a good way to go about it. She's probably just trying to protect you. Is there a specific reason why you want to tell them on your own?
You might have a look here for a few thoughts that might help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,180045.msg1658077.html#msg1658077
I personally also like the twin explanation... people will be like their male/female twin... with still the same sense of humour etc...
Some people explain their feelings in a letter and talk about it later...
well a talk instead has the advantage of being more flexible...
and, well, you might look for support groups...
I think people are different if its a one to one situation, especially with people they know.
On the other hand it might give her a feeling of being included .
So its up to you...
Well a possibility might be to talk about what fears are behind controlling behaviour...
maybe they don't want to talk about if first...
maybe some kind of reassurance would be possible...
hugs
It's really just a couple of family members, my aunt & my cousin. My cousin is so close, she's like a sister. I told my brother by myself so I felt it was appropriate to tell her by myself. There's also a level of animosity between my wife and that side of the family and I guess I don't need that pressure as well adding to my anxiety. Thanks for the thought.