Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Youth talk => Topic started by: PastyPrincess on May 12, 2015, 11:25:52 PM

Title: mom's been getting increasingly aggressive
Post by: PastyPrincess on May 12, 2015, 11:25:52 PM
Okay so my mom had already known about me being transgender for a few months now as i've come out via written letter, however after i think she's gotten comfortable to the idea that she knows how i've been feeling i've been acting out a little bit at a time to ease her into it but she's been getting more and more unsupportive of me as today i had a bow in my hair and she ripped the bow out of my hair and threatened to throw it away if she caught me wearing it again, not to mention how she yelled at me over my painted toenails, not to mention all the times she's been telling me how i'm supposed to be a big man and a boy and i'm not allowed to do anything girly. I'm thinking I could have some advice, as she doesn't really listen to me when I try to talk to her about it?
Title: Re: mom's been getting increasingly aggressive
Post by: suzifrommd on May 13, 2015, 10:07:03 AM
Hugs PP. This is a really difficult situation. Give yourself credit for staying true to yourself.

The best I can suggest is to keep reminding your mother that this is not something you chose. If you get a chance, try to tell her about gender dysphoria - that it's not everyday unhappiness. It's serious and crushing and causes depression and anxiety if ignored. Make sure she knows that this isn't something you can make go away - no one has ever succeeded in doing that.

Are there other adults you can turn to? School counselors? Older relatives? Friends of parents or parents of friends you can trust? If not, is there a PFLAG near you? They might have some suggestions.

Please keep posting. We're here when you need us.
Title: Re: mom's been getting increasingly aggressive
Post by: Yenneffer on May 13, 2015, 10:15:58 AM
Hugs so sorry to hear this
Title: Re: mom's been getting increasingly aggressive
Post by: Tyler on May 14, 2015, 10:13:32 PM
I'm sorry your mom is acting like this. It really sucks that she doesn't understand. Maybe try to explain her dysphoria and more what its like to "be trans?" I had to do that a couple times to my parents and then they finally understood.
Title: Re: mom's been getting increasingly aggressive
Post by: Serena on May 14, 2015, 10:47:59 PM
Maybe she is not really comfortable as you thought or she has changed her mind about being supportive, what about writing her again, if you can't talk to her? I wrote to my mom too because I am scared of talking to her, and she treated me the same way, forcing me to cut my hair and nails, etc..
Title: Re: mom's been getting increasingly aggressive
Post by: katrinaw on May 15, 2015, 12:25:03 AM
ohh hugs PP must be really strained.

I would agree with Suzi in that you need to actually talk to her about Gender Dysphoria... It will be tough, but face to face is probably the right thing to do...

Good luck and hang in there, there's a bright world waiting for you  :-*

hugs Katy