Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just curious if therapy is important to your transition or could you go it alone. I love my therapist, but I love therapy in general because honestly I have no one else to talk to. I consider my therapy essential to my well being. I could do without if I had to, but it's so much nicer to have a trusted friend that you can talk about all the deep dark monsters that one's mind can encounter in life and dreams.

Therapists did not help with my transition. In general they were expensive and superfluous at best and invalidating gatekeepers at worst.

When I was wrestling with my gender, I went to several therapists:
1. The first insisted she was an experienced gender therapist, but didn't know basic terms like  ->-bleeped-<- and cisgender.
2. The second insisted I get a psych eval before he would see me. I had to wait two and a half months for the eval, during which I was asked embarrassing questions about my sexual interests and nothing about being trans. Then I had an attending physician disparage the thought that I might be transgender and issue a report that misgendered me and showed no concern for my welfare, other than that I should slow down my transition because it could be "devastating" for my family. When I finally got the eval, I already knew I was going to transition, so it was a waste of a day off from work. When I finally got to see the therapist. He wasn't helpful, insisting that HRT would not help my facial feminization or body hair.
3. The third therapist was wonderful but unnecessary. I found out nearly everything I needed to know from susans.org and really didn't need her.

Initially, I suppose it was kind of validating, mostly for my father's benefit though. At the time other things were going on in my life and we probably talked about all that stuff than we did the whole trans thing. I stopped going in '06.

I only needed to see my therapist until I got the recommendation letter, however it can be very beneficial for one to continue having someone to talk to about their issues- trans topics or not.

personally for me I've had so many other things going on in my life that for most of my therapy was done when I was going to school than I stopped for a long time then went back 2 years ago when I was about to jump off my apartment building. It's been the last two years that I've talked about my gender perception all the previous therapy was dealing with my crazy alienated counterculture hippi LSD days.

Essential.  Although I interviewed several therapists carefully, I still consider myself extremely fortunate to have found a very experienced gender therapist (gender clients going back nearly 30 years) and whose practice has been mostly trans clients for half her career.  She has seen it all many, many times from people shopping for letters (which she doesn't accommodate) to gender presenting as a manifestation of other conditions, trans clients from childhood to quite elderly, tons of transitions, a few detransitions, spouse and family transition counseling, and more. 

She did a careful and extended differential diagnosis, then proceeded down the path of sorting out co-morbid issues and depression before even starting to deal much with gender.  As a result, I have the psychological issues under control (depression is still a challenge, but there's more involved than gender there) and I'm crystal clear on my cross-sex issues and identity. 

The experience has been life-saving and transformative.  She will participate in some company meetings when the time comes and also help with HR.

I had a less than stellar experience with another therapist after moving.  Despite a few years of nominal gender experience (and a fraction of her practice at that), she just didn't have the depth or knowledge.  I went back to my original therapist (above) despite having to travel.   

I only needed one to talk to. as far as transitioning goes, I had people I knew who could help like my doctor but because ei didn't ask and I went out to try and find an endo, I had poor luck. but no, my therapy wasn't really important. just very minor.

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for me I am 100% sure that I would have ended up dead by now, My therapist help me to accept me for who I am and gave me enough inner strength to allow me to live. all the while making certain that I understood the challenges that I was about to unleash. helping me to move through the processes to begin my supervised program and to end a life of self destruction. I would not have made it without her

I found it invaluable because I was having a really hard time separating out gender norms, sexuality, and gender identity. She helped a lot with that. She also helped me get over the all or nothing attitude. I kind of had this viewpoint that I might not be feminine enough to actually be trans. I was also every bit as afraid of NOT transitioning as I was of actually doing it. Talk about a rough spot! So she helped get me closer to self acceptance, but what finally got me there was during a time with no therapy from a combination of self reflection and my first ever SO that was accepting. Now the therapist is invaluable to my SO, but a gatekeeper to me.

Hello everyone, the only use I found for therapist types was to get my two SRS letters.  Kept any discussion of non SRS 'issues' to an absolute minimum fearing delays.  Flooding them with documentation about my RLE/RLT accomplishments helped expedite the process.

Honestly, my therapist would spend half the sessions talking about HER problems... and said up front that I was the most stable and prepared patient she had, which, given what she told me about some of the others, wasn't saying much. :)  (And she should not have told me about other people!!) I did appreciate her experience referring providers, etc. though.

I saw an experienced and knowledgeable gender therapist. I unloaded the lifetimes worth of baggage I'd acquired as a result of my earlier denial and confusion. I was always fairly clear on my gender, so it wasn't something we discussed all that much. Once I'd unloaded the baggage, I was ready to transition, as I didn't want to carry all that crap forward with me. He was also quite clear that I had no mental health issues.

In preparation for my move to Melbourne, I saw him last September to ask who he would recommend I saw once I'd moved. He pointed out to me that I hadn't seen him in a year, seemed quite happy and well adjusted and had a great handle on my gender. He asked if I really thought I needed anyone. Thinking about it, I clearly didn't. He set me free with the comment that I had good mental health and no gender issues. He did recommend some places I could go for continued hormone therapy though.

Was it all worthwhile? Yes, without a doubt. I would not have transitioned as successfully as I did had I not had him to unload all that life crap on.

I selected "very useful"
I do seek out a therapist with experience in gender dysphoria matters. And while I am still visiting him (pre- HRT) it is helping me identify the pros and cons of my decision. My next appointment is tomorrow in fact. which is good, since I have once again, been trying to downplay my dysphoria to myself.

Therapy is like everything else: 90% of what's out there is crap. If you're persistent and well-informed enough to find a therapist in the 10%, your life will be vastly improved. If not, you'll just have to keep making it up as you go along.

I was fragile for 6 months after I hit the wall. My 1st gender therapist also helped me with Gestalt therapy for abuse from when I was younger. When I could no longer suppress my gender everything in my past came up including abuse sexual and physical. Gestalt therapy helped me to change the abuse with new and constructive endings. Ultimately I forgave which I guess was the last part (forgave myself).

My second therapist is about changing behaviors through empowerment and expanding my sense of community.  For example, I am volunteering for 5 things in June (LGBT kids camp at the PTHC, 3 shifts, becoming a LBGT safe person for patents, families and staff at work, pride parade and working a the pride event at Penn's Landing and presenting at the PTHC with group members). I do other volunteer work to and it is very rewarding. I think more importantly I am doing things I want to do but was afraid of doing in the past.

I put helpful reluctantly because if it was not for the formality of needing a therapist for letters and various things I would never have engaged one. If anything Therapy has delayed my transition because of appointment backlogs and accessibility.

It was helpful as far as understanding that I'm trans and not completely crazy, and getting me to calm down a little bit when I feel frustrated by the progress of transition, but my brothers and sisters (and some of my GLB friends) have been more helpful than the shrink. The only reason (other than a surgery letter) I'm seeing  a shrink is so that I can confirm I'm not crazy (at least in the more clinical sense). I have one who has a couple decades experience with trans people,  but I  find the whole thing annoying, I don't even need him for hormones with the IC clinics, just a surgery letter. i don't mean to bash him, because he is a pretty good shrink, and its really good that he's worked with transsexuals for over 20 years, but sometimes a sister or brother is helpful in a way a cis-gender shrink cannot be, even if they are trying to be as helpful as they can.

For me it's been essential. Talking things out helps one come to grips with what's going on. Also arms you with talking points and ways to approach the subject to loved ones.

So many things she did was right and needed.

Essential - I lived.....  But she did so much more.

On the other hand, I researched therapists before I chose her so there is some work to do.
Hugs,

Jennifer

Over six years in therapy and have been with the present one for 3 1/2 years. He has been my guide and though we have disagreed at times recently, he has proven to be right and I was wrong. I could noy have done it without him and I am so lucky to have chosen him.

Therapy most important thing for me. Saved my life and let the girl live.
Dodie

Now that things have become more settled for me, I feel like I have a lot that would feel good to talk about which I feel is too self-indulgent to talk about with friends or whatever.  Speaking of transition itself, however, I was really clear about where this was going for me and my therapist just wanted me to talk it out while they sat there like a lump.  I didn't need to talk it out, I didn't have that much to say really--I needed to just get going.  I went to 4 sessions, they were mostly unhelpful, but I got my letter for HRT and that was the thing I needed.

If my therapist was more the type to push and help me I may have found that extremely helpful during that time, but sitting there taking notes and saying nothing was not helpful at all.  But, like I said at the beginning of this post, now it's a different story.   I would love to have somebody sit quietly while I got everything that I'm bothered with off my chest, which the subject of gender would be a part of, but mostly it's other things.

Therapy hasn't been a focus so far 2 & 1/2 years into transition. I haven't needed a diagnosis, or counseling on what I already know to be true. To be perfectly honest, I've been afraid of having to prove my trans-ness.
I've been to many therapists for mundane stuff, like my parents divorce and general mental health. And though I have discussed gender identity stuff with my most recent psychiatrist, it hasn't been the main focus. I don't actually want to find a new therapist for trans stuff, but it'd be important to me that they had experience with gender issues because of how much trans issues can bleed into everything. In general, therapists have been a mixed bag for me.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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When I started transition, I mistakenly thought therapy was required to begin HRT in California, and did a few Skype sessions.

As soon as I figured out "informed consent" was sufficient, that was the end of that. This board has been my therapy since then...

Therapy has been a huge help for me, but I've been very lucky to have great therapists.  My current therapist has helped save me.