Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm entering my 20th month since my new beginning. When I first started I remember during flu season I got sick and thought maybe it would be better not to transition and talked to my therapist about it and she kind of made me realize that I really didn't want to stop, but I was just sick from the flu. She was right because I've thought of getting a hold of estrogen for so long and finally have that it would be far better to move forward because I feel so much better. I still always have thoughts of quitting , but each month that passes that feeling of stopping gets pushed farther and farther back into the black void of my unconscious. I love who I'm becoming. I love the simple things of putting on make up everyday and putting on dresses or skinny jeans and my pink jacket. I just love it and will never go back, but I always have those thoughts of stopping. I probably still think of it at least once a day , but as I get myself out the door those thoughts magically vanish into oblivion .

Once I started HRT that was it.  I never looked back because I knew deep down in the core of my being I'd finally come home.

I thought to stop and did some twenty years ago. It was probably the right choice at the time but I really wish I hadn't since it was almost that length of time before I started again. :(

Quote from: Lady Smith on May 24, 2015, 11:23:39 PM
Once I started HRT that was it.  I never looked back because I knew deep down in the core of my being I'd finally come home.

Same here. I knew that once I took my first HRT meds several years ago, there was no looking back.

I started HRT the first time in 2000, but I had to stop a couple of months later, because of family, and work issues.  I wasn't able to start again until 2004,  and I haven't considered stopping since then. 

Once starting I never once considered stopping. I do know I will have a short break around SRS, but that will be the only break. Hugs
Mariah

For me it has been never, only stopped twice for medical or other reason...

Wish I could say the same for clothes purging tho... aya the money burnt!

L Katy  :-*

Never. Early on when I still had suicidal thoughts it was taking my meds when I wake up that made me feel better. Taking them still brightens up my day.

The only bad thing is that I feel so much happier on hrt that I've said I'd rather die transitioning then ever stop or go back. So I'm pretty fearful of ever getting ill where I'd have to stop.

I've never remembered to take any pills as consistently as my spironolactone in my entire life.

I was involuntarily forced to stop twice, once due to my monthly hormone shipment being late in the mail by a week, and once due to having a car crash which stranded me two hours from home with no backup hormone supply for three days straight.

Having had it done for me twice, and knowing how it makes me instantly feel like complete and total s***, I more or less never thought of stopping on my own, because I know that I'd instantly spiral right back into depression if I did.

Even during the points where I doubted if transition as a whole was right for me or not, and even if I decided for some reason to detransition socially, I'd probably still stay on hormones. I simply can't imagine ever having testosterone in my system again.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on May 25, 2015, 02:45:23 AM
I was involuntarily forced to stop twice, once due to my monthly hormone shipment being late in the mail by a week, and once due to having a car crash which stranded me two hours from home for three days straight.

Having had it done for me twice, and knowing how it makes me instantly feel like complete and total s***, I more or less never thought of stopping on my own, because I know that I'd instantly spiral right back into depression if I did.

Even during the points where I doubted if transition as a whole was right for me or not, and even if I decided for some reason to detransition socially, I'd probably still stay on hormones. I simply can't imagine ever having testosterone in my system again.

your looking quite well.

I have stopped because I was on them long enough to approach an increased risk of breast cancer. For two or three years I really regretted it because I had HOT FLASHES BIG TIME. The good thing was I am cold blooded and the hot flashes warmed me up on a cold nigh. The bad thing I live in the South West and traveled around leaving many sweaty sheets in the summer. So far I haven't noticed any change in size without the hormones. On the other hand my nearly non existent sex drive is even less and I have to make a logical decision to become horny but even without hormones I can still become aroused. I guess if I had a man in my life that wouldn't be a problem but the prospects of finding one are pretty slim.

When I had to change over from Premarin to Climara patches because of liver and kidney damage I suffered a wee bit of a bump in mood & etc until my body adjusted, but I don't really count that as stopping HRT.
Stay away from Premarin ladies, it might deliver the goods, but it knocks your body around really badly.

Quote from: Lady Smith on May 25, 2015, 05:11:53 AM
When I had to change over from Premarin to Climara patches because of liver and kidney damage I suffered a wee bit of a bump in mood & etc until my body adjusted, but I don't really count that as stopping HRT.
Stay away from Premarin ladies, it might deliver the goods, but it knocks your body around really badly.

So sorry to hear that... I have been on them for nearly 12 years now, for convenience... also had constant blood checks and the like and are not showing any adverse affects to Liver and Kidneys... Luckily...

However I will move to implants later this year, because I want to give my internal organs a rest.

L Katy  :-*

I took my time before starting my transition, listening to my thoughts and feelings, exploring possibilities in my mind.
When I started, I knew I was ready, and there has been no looking back ever since.

Nil, zilch, zippo, zero, nada.

Once I got started it was Full Speed Ahead.

Never,...unless you count a lack of funds.  Even then, only for a short time.

Being wracked with shame and guilt on top of the futile wish that a little is all I need to get better I had a lot of WTF meltdowns where I'd think about stopping, maybe even holding off on a shot for an extra week. Until reality hit.

Six years later I still fight those feelings. I primarily present male, dealing with a sick wife, have a job I love. Transitioning makes no practical sense. I can loose so much. Hurt people I love and rely on me.

I Know What Does Not Work
I spent decades trying things one way. This way is better. Complicated at times, but better

Quote from: katrinaw on May 25, 2015, 07:56:58 AM
So sorry to hear that... I have been on them for nearly 12 years now, for convenience... also had constant blood checks and the like and are not showing any adverse affects to Liver and Kidneys... Luckily...

However I will move to implants later this year, because I want to give my internal organs a rest.

L Katy  :-*

Thanks Katy.  Doctors here in New Zealand are often very supportive, but lacking in expertise with gender issues so with one thing and another I wasn't followed up as closely as I should have been.  On top of that I wasn't really aware of the risk factors until it was too late.  At present spokespeople for the intersex and TG community are lobbying the government health committee for improved health care and clinician awareness for gender diverse people and their issues so hopefully what happened to me won't happen to anyone else in the future.

I was self med for a short period on a very low dose to calm myself but I stopped once I entered therapy. I also had a long pause before I got my intake appt at my current dr. After that there'll be no stopping except for surgery.

I do at times consider "quitting" but more on everything than just hrt or transition...I know I could never be a guy not even an effeminate gay guy... if I quite I would quit period

Never. [emoji724][emoji777][emoji727][emoji435][emoji732]️[emoji135] Nope. No. Not once. Zero times. Can it be a negative number of times? Negative infinity divided by zero. There.

yes , you can have negative to infinite oblivion.

Apparently I'm the only one. I can't say I've seriously contemplated giving up, but I'll have a momentary lapse on occasion...sure. But then I remember that my my new-found mental stability is fueld by estrogen, and I'm back on board pretty quickly.

Not once

It's a good thing too, because with pellets it lingers. Once they're in, they're in for a good long bit.

My endo told me about another one of his patients who had started with pellets, and two weeks later decided he didn't want them. That is at least 4 months of quick feminization, if not much longer. By month 4 on pellets I had small B cups :o Poor guy!

Sometimes I'm troubled by the whole process. Often thinking why do I have to be like this?
I never miss taking it. I have cut back but still take it daily. Levels are still very good.
I do love how I now feel compared to before. So much better and less troubled.
I love the changes it has made and the new squishy bits I have, not giving them back. ;D
All I have to do is remember how much I hate T and what it did to me to keep moving forward even if only by small steps
After getting close to 2 years I won't stop ever.

I've stopped quite a few times due to pressure from my wife, and once a few years ago for surgery. The (only) good thing about stopping is that it helps confirm just how much you need HRT - I felt even worse after stopping than I did before starting, and very time I started I felt great. Eventually I couldn't take it any more and just gave up, and I've been on HRT ever since.

Quote from: Jennygirl on May 26, 2015, 04:25:14 AM
My endo told me about another one of his patients who had started with pellets, and two weeks later decided he didn't want them. That is at least 4 months of quick feminization, if not much longer. By month 4 on pellets I had small B cups :o Poor guy!

I asked my endo about this and he said they can be removed, but he's never done it. I expect it would be quite unpleasant though.

After my first few months of electrolysis and estrogen, I was convinced they weren't working and a few months after that, I accepted the fact things weren't meant to be and I was destined to be a miserable ->-bleeped-<-ing human being for the rest of my days. A year after that, I found a new doctor with a new HRT regimine and began to slave away at ->-bleeped-<-ty jobs to save for transition. Now there is no quit in me, way past the point of no return there.