I have stumbled upon this forum, in a search for what I was going through and had been lurking for a good two weeks now, and I decide to step out of the walls and say, here I am!
To keep my introduction short and sweet. I am Kate, Katie, or any Kate variance name as of a name I have suited myself as the MtF that I am.
I was born a boy by the name of Jason, 5lbs 1oz, and well tiny. I grew up a very sheltered life up until I was 18, then all hell broke loose. But in the short span of sheltered life I did go through troubling times. Noting the main things that have impacted my life, but recently remembering it all in the past couple months.
Note 1; The many times I would say I was a girl.
Note 2; having more female friends, than male friends.
Note 3; Dreams instigating either taking my crotch off as a belt to reveal my true gender, or that of ripping off my skin and revealing my true gender. Or just being female in the dream.
Note 4; at the age of 10, a bone scan of my wrists concluded I had the bone structure that of 7.
Note 5; my testicles having to be surgically dropped.
Note 6; many surgeries before the age of 6.
Note 7; sleeping with scissors under my pillow, and coming close several times to cutting my penis off.
Note 8; not really partial to my own body.
Note 9; never comfortable peeing standing up.
The list goes on for a bit but those are the main ones.
Now being the ripe age of 28, turning 29 this July, had finished the beginnings of school (through high school), having had multiple jobs, joining the army, started college, been married and divorced. Thoughts and patterns of thoughts have arose several times, well sporadic through the next age zone from 18 through now.
Well also a note through high school, had painted my nails all the colors under the sun, only for my parents telling me to remove it at once when they found out I had done so.
But through this time thought patterns arise thinking that it might have been possible that I was born female, or at least interpretation that I was. Feeling in the right when wearing female attire, the tight jeans and forwardly girl shirts. First job, able to paint my nails freely, growing my hair out and styling it toward a more girly look. While in army basic training, being in an all male squadron, not feeling completely right. Living as Kate for about a year, only as my name was decided on an accidental phone call. Meeting my future wife, as Kate, later on reverting to my male side, ending up to cross dress on occasion. Ended up marrying. Going through hardships, as of not really understanding myself, or knowing who or what I truly was. Ended up divorced in a mutual agreement, but the best of friends.
This brings us to the beginning of March. I end up moving back in with my mom, as to finish schooling, before I move on to university, in a year and a half. This is where thoughts start flooding back to me. I have for the past two months, been having recurring dreams of that when I was younger, of ripping my skin off to reveal my true gender, or just being female in my dreams, thoughts provoking the same ideas and principles. Actual emotion either coming out of nowhere or because of these thoughts. Otherwise many other things happening in my life. I have determined myself as the MtF that I am. At the job I currently have, being double slotted auditor and supervisor, and with some of the best co workers ever. I had first come out to them, granted I am and have been in male mode the whole time, other than the slight quirks that I do have. My manager and everyone fully supports me (well one co worker I have not told and one other in a sort of denial), and the idea of changing my name to Kate and wearing a skirt to work.
The only other two people I have come out to was of course my wife, or should I say ex wife (the divorce actually finalizes in August), and one of my cousins best friends. Who both support me.
Wow, what a story.
It's great that people have been accepting of you! I look forward to seeing you around here, and I hope your transition continues going smoothly :)
Here's a few links to get you started here:
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Welcome to Susan's Place!
~Matt
Hi Katie,
Welcome to Susan's...
Quote from: Katiepie on May 26, 2015, 04:20:57 AM
I have stumbled upon this forum, in a search for what I was going through and had been lurking for a good two weeks now, and I decide to step out of the walls and say, here I am!
To keep my introduction short and sweet. I am Kate, Katie, or any Kate variance name as of a name I have suited myself as the MtF that I am.
Note 1; The many times I would say I was a girl.
Note 2; having more female friends, than male friends.
Note 3; Dreams instigating either taking my crotch off as a belt to reveal my true gender, or that of ripping off my skin and revealing my true gender. Or just being female in the dream.
Note 7; sleeping with scissors under my pillow, and coming close several times to cutting my penis off.
Note 8; not really partial to my own body.
Note 9; never comfortable peeing standing up.
The list goes on for a bit but those are the main ones.
I can relate to all of the above, even a few surgeries by the time I was 7 or so...
Anyway welcome and look forward to seeing you about the forums..
L Katy :-*
Hi Kate, welcome to Susan's. I look forward to seeing your around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Hi Kate :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Thank you Matt, Katy, Mariah, and V M!
I'm glad to come on board here to help me through my journey. As well as be part of the community of mass hugs!
I would so hug everybody here on the forums if ever I get the chance!
Hi Kate,
Welcome to Susan's!
That was some story! Look forward to hear more from you in the days to come.
See you around
Cindy
Wow.
Now that is an introduction.
Anyway, my warmest welcome to you! I am quite new here, myself, but since when has that stopped anyone from saying hi?
Looking forward to seeing you around here.
-Freya
Thank you Cindy and Freya.
Yes, my story is quite a bundle of something. I hope I fit in just fine :D
Now to try and figure out how to put a picture up here, either profile or just a picture in general of me as current.
Kate
Kate once you hit 15 posts you will be able to post a pic in your profile. Hugs
Mariah
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thank you Mariah :D
I was soooo tired last night while I was going through everything. Bashed my face a few times with my kindle fire that I use. I need to get more sleep at night. But getting only between 4 and 6 hours seems to be my normal schedule for sleep.
Kate
hi katie :icon_wave:
it's awesome your workplace supports you! no one knows about my trans status save a few professors at school because im scared of the rejection or discrimination that may accompany it. see you around :)
Hi Christy.
I know, I am an extremely lucky girly to have the support I have, though on a note, I clearly have the advantage of being on the outskirts of San Francisco.
I'm sure the support you will get will rise above all the negative and discriminatory parts.
Kate
Hi Kate!
Welcome to the club. Wow - what an introduction. Such vivid dreams. Those would drive me crazy. Of course, I would not have to drive too far though lol.
Torie
Welcome and that was a rather different story than I normally hear. Let me know if I can help you in anyway but it sounds like with all that bumping around in life you managed to stay pretty much in one piece. Look forward to seeing you around.
Thank you Torie.
I know my dreams are trying to get me into terms of who I am, and not what I am.
Thank you Dena,
My life is rather interesting to say the least, I like to say I'm in many pieces, just patched up and ready to roll.
Kate
Welcome to Susan's.