Hi, I'm Hunter (well, not yet, but I'm hoping to change my name as soon as possible) and I'm a 16 year old ftm. I recently came out to my parents and brother, last Wednesday, in fact, and they are dealing with this in the best way I could ever have imagined.
I was assigned female at birth, but my whole life I've known that I wasn't like the other girls. For the first few years of my life I was quite "girly", but it never felt right. As I got more freedom over what I wore, I would always choose boys clothes, and I was eager to inherit my brother's old clothes. Being so young, I didn't really understand what was going on, I just knew that I prefered doing things that boys normally did.
Over the past for or five years, I finally realised how I felt, and I knew that I was a boy. I suppose my gender issues really weren't helped, by the fact that I went to an all girls' school. It was awful to everyday, look down at the embroidery on my jumper, and be reminded that the world didn't see me as who I really was. For a few years after this revelation, I coped with it, I distracted myself with my school work and video games, but now that I look back at it, that was a pretty bad decision, because it's led to me being a horribly repressed person.
After I turned 13, was when problems really started to arise. I hated talking about my emotions and feelings (and still do) and it meant, that whenever I was feeling sad or angry, it would build up until it just all came out at once. This tended to manifest itself as me crying uncontrollably for several hours, and this was when my parents started to suspect something was wrong. Though, they were worried that I had depression, which is understandable, as I think some members of my family have been diagnosed with it. At least now they know the real reason for all that.
When I was about 14, I think, I decided that I'd start to take steps in order to appear outwardly male. The first big step was my hair. I'd always had very long hair, and I mean down to my waist long (though this isn't that long, when you consider that I'm still under 5 foot tall). I first told my parents that I wanted my hair cut short, and they said that it was fine, it was my hair. After two trips to the hairdresses, and nearly three hours in total, I could look in the mirror, and feel like me from the neck up.
I seem to have naturally boy-ish features, which is fantastic, but then there was the problem of my body. As I mentioned earlier, I'm under 5 foot (about 4' 11" I think), and I hate this, it's just annoying (people don't seem to take me seriously, and I can't reach most shelves). Luckily, I don't have any very noticable curves, and with some chest binding, I can pass very easily.
My sexuality has never had to come into the equation, since I'm both asexual and aromantic, so I don't have to worry about relationships, which is great.
Coming out was one of the hardest things I've ever had to, and the only way I managed to make myself do it, was by not thinking about it. I did it by writing a letter, and leaving it for my parents to find. I'm usually the last person to go up to bed in my house, my dad has weird sleeping habits, my mum has to go to work early in the morning, and my brother stays in his bedroom most of the time. I typed it out on my laptop first, and then wrote it out by hand. I put it in an envelope, left it on the table, and went up to bed. That night was probably the worst night of my life, and I was still awake when my dad first read the letter. At about 6 o'clock, my mum came to wake me up, and the first thing she did was hug and me and tell me that it was fine, and my dad was fine with it as well, and it would all be okay. I gave the letter to my brother later that evening, and he had the same reaction. It was better than I could have ever hoped for.
So, now I'm going to try and get a referal to a gender identity clinic (which might be difficult, seeing as I live in Wales, and there don't seem to be many) and hopefully I'm going start on hormones before I go to college. This has made my decision to go to college much easier. It'll be a new start for me. No one will have to know that I was once thought of as female.
I decided to join this website, because I thought it might be nice to talk to people going through the same thing, and also to see if I can help in anyway.
Hey Hunter
Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.
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Cheers
Grace
Hi Hunter :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Hi Hunter,
Welcome to Susan's...
Nice intro and to get your families support is really comforting and so supportive for you... really so happy for you.
Look forward to seeing you about the forums... enjoy :-*
L Katy
Hey Hunter. Welcome to Susan's. Wonderful intro. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Hi Hunter,
Welcome to Susan's!
It's really nice to hear that your family is supportive.
See you around
Cindy