Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've lost one , a niece that is in direct relation to me being transgender all others are not directly due to being transgender , but may have been a consequence of related issues I've gone through in my life and some were totally unrelated as far as I know, but might have a small link along with other issues.

Ive lost my grandma, grandpa, and aunt on my dads side.  It could be much worse. I remember I called my grandma to came out to her, (5 years ago?) and she said that "I know all about that (transgender people) I know more about it then you do" and she said we would talk again later. She never called me again.  Ive had to see her twice at weddings and it was really awkward, especially because my mother and myself called her out on how awful she was for just not even bothering to get to know the real me.  At the weddings she didn't talk to me or look at me. I lost my grandpa and aunt by association, I never knew my aunt very much so that didn't matter, but I do miss my grandpa, although at the weddings he talked to me briefly.

It does sting a lot to know that my grandma still talks to my brothers and dad, she pretty much acts like I don't even exist anymore she probably just thinks that I "killed her granddaughter", and my brothers and dad don't seem to care or want to call her out on it. My mom says its her loss.

I don't wish to seek out a relationship with her, and it really just makes her look simple and petty, and I hope she regrets it when she dies. And if she ever wants to be forgiven last minute, she will be treated the same way she treated me.


edit* sorry just realized this was in the MTF side

yea it's sad we deal with a lot of pain to be who we are

I haven't really lost any family members. But, my relationship with my father hasn't been the best since I transitioned. But, then again, it was never perfect anyway due to his whole "Jekyll & Hyde" syndrome from him being a drunk.

I lost the two friends that I had. But, oh well. The hell with the both of them. They were just a couple of fake losers anyway. They always talked up the "friends to the end" rubbish. But, when I needed them the most, they dropped me like a hot potato.

I don't know how to answer this.

I have one brother and one sister who treat me like I'm a worthless un-human ... but they treated me like that most of the time anyway.  Now they have a reason to focus their dislike of me and tell me everything is my fault.

People at my work (some who have known me for 25 years) are very supportive and treat me better than they did before, but a couple coworkers don't like that I'm transitioning.

I haven't lost any close friends, in fact, many of my school friends have become facebook friends since I came out.  They like my courage for being myself.  My ex manager who was very much like a friend and knew I was transgender started treating me like ->-bleeped-<- when I went full time, but she was also going through depression and anxiety issues at that time.

you answered quite well

I lost my paternal grandfather. I wrote him a separate letter alongside my 'Thank You' card for the Christmas money he'd sent me; I never heard from him after that. My mom, about a month ago, called him asking if he was going to be attending my graduation/needing a ticket for the ceremony, and he started going off on her about what terrible parents she and my dad were for supporting me, how I was just trying to get attention, and was just imitating Bruce Jenner (because I totally didn't come out before that whole situation came to light or anything...sigh).

Luckily my mom didn't have any of it, told him he was a horrible person (esp. to my father, when he was a kid), offered him some choice profanities and hung up. He tried to send a letter to our house a while back and my mom didn't even open it, just tossed it in the trash. We're all in agreement in this household that he's as good as dead, since his love has clearly been conditional to myself and my father our whole lives. Good riddance, as far as I'm concerned; all my other family's been nothing but beautifully supportive, and they're who I should really be spending time with, anyway.

Just as a bit of balance, so far I've lost no one, although a few of my relationships are a bit rocky at the moment. I still have to come out to my sister and her brood, Sweetie's brother and his family, and Sweetie's best friend. I've never been close to her, but we'll be seeing her in October and I want her prepared. Other than my sister, the others will be phone conversations.

I think I've lost my sister. She won't even talk about it to my face.

My parents came out to my extended family for me at a family reunion last night.  I guess everyone was really supportive and happy for me.  My mom actually didn't want me to be there in case things got ugly, but thankfully everything worked out.  So out of my entire family and closest friends, I haven't lost anyone.  I have a bunch of other friends from my past that I haven't told that are scattered around the country and are all married and have kids.  I haven't talked to any of them in over a year and they all have their own lives now, so at this point I'm not even sure I'll bother coming out to them.

It really kills me hearing about the people all of you have lost.  I'm just so sorry that happened.  Maybe in the future, as society becomes more educated, hearts will soften and some of these relationships can be repaired.

I was actually a little surprised that my niece stopped talking to me We communicated over the internet for 2 years , but it seemed she didn't want to get closer. About 5 months ago having been on hormones for 14 months I thought that I would take the chance to tell her because there is no way I'm turning back and I didn't want to hide from anyone any more. I told her in an email when I deleted my older Facebook account and started using my other account that has my real picture on it. I wanted her to have my new account. I haven't heard from her since. She was the one you sought me out in the first place. I guess a transgender uncle wasn't of interest to her or aunt.

Most of my family and friends have been extremely supportive. The only ones I've lost is my father whom my mother divorced when I was 12 and his current (3rd) wife. My father and I grew apart from age 15 on when I moved to NJ from NC with my mom. He wasn't there for me when I did need him and we grew further apart. Prior to transitioning we built back up a relationship where I spoke to him 3-4 times a month and saw him every few years, but when I came out, he basically told me that even though he knows I was born this way that I should go back into the closet for another 43 years. He claims he still loves me (through his step-daughter that I'm friends with) and he doesn't no how to deal with it, but he ignores my letters, phone calls and blocked me on Facebook. So at this point I see him as a lose, but you never know, he could one day accept it, but I'm not holding my breath.

This is a very difficult topic for me. I used to work for the family business and when I decided to transition I was ganged up on by four brothers and sisters and their spouses plus my parents and convinced I need help with an Infasess of Christianity. So I was sent to a Christian nazi camp to learn how to be better Christian. All this worked fine for a year or so but I was just miserable, and decided to transition two years later after a nasty divorce from a spouse who was cheating while at nazi camp. As a result of transition my three children, four bothers and sisters and their spouses all g with their adult children and spouses along with my parents have told me I'm not welcome or wanted at their houses. I was eventually fired three times from the company and rehired a week later after then seeing I was not going to return to being male. This all has been five years ago, still no contact with my children or siblings. I do see my mother at times and that relationship is getting better and does ask about my husband. My srs and ffs is scheduled for sept. with Dr. Suporn. My motto nobody can make you happy, happiness comes from within.

One brother in-law. He may eventually come around yet, but he is having a hard time despite knowing before hand that this was coming. Everyone else is exactly as they were before. I'm not surprised by this at all. Hugs
Mariah

I won't say I've lost anyone... not yet. Just when I think I've found my sister she slips out of my fingers again. I think I've misplaced my father though, he might be behind the lounge somewhere... might recover him one day. Never say never!!

I'd say we all deserve a round or two of hugs  :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

When I came out I lost all of my family for the first year of transition.

I am talking with my parents now, but they have kept the whole thing secret from the rest of the family, and do not want me to contact them.

I will play along for now. Outside family I ended up with more friends and more support in general, so I am not alone by any stretch.

My parents could never accept me but they died during my transition. I wash I could meet them as their daughter, I think they would be proud of me now.

Two work colleagues refused to even look at me, interestingly their colleagues have completely accepted me and they are now the ones who have lost their friends and colleagues because of their bigotry. I got 'revenge' on one at a meeting where I sat opposite him while I was wearing a
Low cut blouse, I made sure to lean forward everynow and again, everyone noticed that he was fixated on my boobs! He was very embarrassed! I have an evil streak!

My wife's' sister had issues accepting me realised she was the only family member who did so she is civil to me, but I also told her that if she wasn't going to accept me she was barred from my home and all the family meet at my home for family events.

I ticked the over 10 box, - enough said really as it was years ago and I've moved on since then.

There was one friend who seemed very uncomfortable talking about my transition. It made talking with her awkward since it's hard to tell what's going on with me without mentioning some aspect of my transition. We're still friends, but not as close. So I guess my answer would be "a half".

Quote from: suzifrommd on May 30, 2015, 04:41:22 AM
There was one friend who seemed very uncomfortable talking about my transition. It made talking with her awkward since it's hard to tell what's going on with me without mentioning some aspect of my transition. We're still friends, but not as close. So I guess my answer would be "a half".

I have a friend like that as well. The subject puts her at unease..... She means really well but she just doesn't get it. Can't seem to figure out why I would want to go from a "good looking male" to an "ugly female and a social outcast".

My brother was very cool with everything until his wife told him that my transitioning is immoral and godless:). I was hoping to lose her but she's still around....

When I came out, I had to cut off over half my family for verbally attacking me. The only members I still talk to are my own parents, my FtM brother (well duh he's gonna be cool with it haha), my uncle, and every now and again I hear from my grandmother, though that's rare. As far as friends, I don't really know how many I lost. I posted every day for a week straight that I would be changing to a new Facebook profile, and that anyone asking to follow me there could message me for the new name. So I didn't really pay attention to it...though I can safely say most of my male friends stopped talking to me.

It's pretty funny, there's that web site that posts your name and picture of everyone you went to High School with, When I changed my Facebook to my real picture I change that picture too. I'm waiting for any comments on my new picture from people I went to high scool with.

Hi I  am in the over 10 club, at number 2 of 11 kids I have 2 sisters who will talk to me and are supportive. My dad has accepted me 2 aunts from a 5 person family are supportive, only one friend from living in this area for twenty five years. I have met many new people who we  hang out with to fill those voids. the  biggest loss is my daughter and three grandkids her husband finds this totally unacceptable to expose his kids to and has isolated me from that family, of course my exwife has fueled that flame along. the reality is that I am starting over very much for the better and honestly without regret

My long-distance family relationships are mostly unsupportive. I have 1 sister who is really trying her best.
I have 2 other older sisters that have pretty much stopped all contact. They have families so it's really sad. They will contact me via text every blue moon to say happy holidays etc, but rarely ask me a single question about anything.

My dad was really trying because he was concerned for my safety, I believe.
He broke my trust though by saying some really hurtful and emotionally abusive things on the phone, so I'm not speaking with him.

My family is very dysfunctional and distrustful of one another. Although people pretend everything is fine...
When I ask for support family becomes defensive, attacks me, or ignores me.

I had a fire burn down my apartment and took all of my possessions and cat about 6 months ago. Nobody bothered to visit me.

I am grateful for my one sister who has opened her heart.


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I've lost my mom and my brother but that's it so far. I'm pretty much done with social transition outside of work, we'll see about clients and colleagues soon.




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None, unless you count a couple friends I deliberately lost touch with b/c they were annoying (for non-transition reasons). :) I will forever feel guilty that my wife was disowned by her entire family - including most of her extended family - for staying with me, though.

Dad stopped talking to me, a couple of gay men who were friends with me stopped talking to me, and I lost a couple of friends because I didn't like them gossiping. I would say about six.

I lost my two teenage daughters.  I've not told them anything about me being transgender (yet). Their mother, my ex-wife, says that she's not told them either - though I doubt that.  Still, my daughters up and refused to see me as of last October.  Hearing from their mother about me being trans seems like the most likely reason.

Other than my daughters, which has been devastating, I've not lost anyone -- extended family, my wife, in-law family, friends, and co-workers have all been generally supportive.  Many have been very supportive.

Kim :)

That's always so sad to hear of when children are lost by being trans.

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It's been a lovely 2 years since I've come out to family and friends, and "lovely" is the opposite of what I actually mean.

I have lost friends left and right for being me, and out of (say about 20 close friends) I only have 6 left. It has definitely put a major strain on my relationship with who is left, as before my transition we shared the same "friend-pool" and now things just get awkward anytime I'm brought into the equation.

As for my family, they were my real best friends. (I'm 1 of 12, being the middle child.) Only 2 sisters actively support me, and the rest either turn their "undisturbed" ear to me, or they've went out of their way to tell me how wrong it is what I'm doing. My mother started out telling me I had a mental disease and I could not be her daughter, but now has turned around  A LOT and tells me she's glad I came out, and that she was sorry that she didn't see the daughter she always had but couldn't admit it. Now my dad is the opposite...in the way that in initially accepting his "son" become his daughter, he learned a few things about who I really am and was proactive for the first month of my outing. It only got worse and worse and to this day I know it isn't getting any better almost 2 years later. He (currently) dismisses any concerns I have about my safety, or requests for his advice, and even any mention of being his daughter as being "part of the hormones" or "You're just being paranoid". I can't mention anything related to transition, because the answer to it is: "I don't want to hear it."

Look at me rant! Sorry if I went off topic! TL:DR, I've lost a few of the "good ones", and it's been a tough journey so far.