Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I know we all likely have horror stories about some reactions when we came out.  I want to hear about the happier ones ...

What was the funniest or most unique reaction you had when you came out?

I am a supervisor at the school bus company where I work.  I told a very few number of people before I came out to everyone.  One of the ladies I told literally jumped up and down and said, "Oh my God ... Really?  That is so cool!  When are you starting (meaning hormones)?  This is going to be fun!"

She was also the one who walked into my office a couple weeks later.  I was 2+ months into HRT and had been out working in the heat.  I was sitting in my nice, air conditioned office relaxing when I hear her voice say, "A bit chilly?"

She was pointing at me with a huge grin on her face.

I glance at my chest and realized how noticeable my nipples and tine boobs were.  I blushed so much, but was also thrilled.

For me, it was friend who sent me links to alternative sex sites since I was now "open to trying out new things."

When I told a couple of people they thought I was a girl who was transitioning to male. I took it as a compliment that they thought I already looked fem enough that I was born that way.

Well, I got 'What took you so long?' and 'Tell me something I don't know.', amongst other similar comments, but I think my favourite reaction to coming out is still 'Derrr!'.

"Oh sweetie, I always knew" from a female friend I'd known for about thirty years who I expected wouldn't want anything more to do with me. The next day she gave me a new key ring (a silver butterfly) engraved "Grace". It was a lovely and touching gesture.

My friend Tina: "If you're going to do that, you need to get boobs."  ;D

I had a lady buy me a brick of chocolate and said, "If you're on estrogen you'll need this."

I was already a chocoholic before HRT - mind you probably moreso now.

"That took some serious balls."

My guys friends was like "When you get your boobs done, can I touch it?" LOL

When I came out my parents they thought that I didn't know that two women can be lesbians so they assumed that's why I'm changing my gender. Well, that was really weird.
Another time I came out was to my nurse doing the shots. I told HRT is sth I have to do in order to transition. And she was like "You wanna be a girl?" (even though it said clearly testosterone on the package) and I wanted to slap my face. But I explained everything and she's the nicest nurse so far, calling me a guy despite my legal name, which is very nice.
When I told my girlfriend using Laverne Cox as an example (she was a mtf character in her fav tv show) she assumed I was a boy before and now I'm a girl. I was laughing so hard.

I always thought I had hidden everything so well. My spouse didn't know. My children didn't know. My siblings didn't know.

But apparently I wasn't as diligent as I thought. A cousin from childhood (we were very close from a very young age) and a friend I've known since 1998, both cisgender women, had the exact same reaction when I came out to them. There was a brief pause followed by, "Well, now it all makes sense!"

In each case I asked them to explain what they meant. When they did, I guess it was obvious that some traits were always just leaking through. :)

After I had come out to one of my best friend I had for a few years now, I felt comforted enough about doing so since he's bi, he told me with a look of *duh you nimwit* "It's about time! Jeez you really are a queen!" To this day, he takes the gold in my book for being the most sassy and accepting response. :)

Quote from: Jill F on May 31, 2015, 06:54:27 PM
"That took some serious balls."

lol!  My brother took it in stride when I told him I was trans.  But I got a very similar response last week when I told him I was about to come out to eighty-some people at work:
"Wow. Alright. This might sound weird...It take huge balls!"

Many of my male friends and co-workers said something to the effect of "It takes a lot of guts to do that!". None of the women I came out to said anything along those lines.

When I came out to my Mother and Father in law, I did not get the reactions I expected.  I thought my mother in law would be okay and my father in law might be upset.  Instead, My Mother in law cried.  My father in law said he was fine with it. He reiterated a few minutes later, with a big smile, a big thumbs up, and "We're good!"

FWIW, my mother in law has been very nice since.  She (and my father in law) gave me jewelry for my birthday.

Kim :)

I recently came out to an old college friend girl of mine. We were meeting up at a very large and busy mall, and she hadn't seen me in about 20 years. I told her she wouldn't recognize me.

She had no idea I was trans or ever cross-dressed.

I spotted her easily and she was so oblivious to me that I went up to her while she looked at the mall directory and made a smartass comment to her and she stood up and just stared at me while I smiled at her with a big welcoming grin. I then said her name and she stood there with a blank look on her face.

So I finally repeated her name saying "It's me!" in my male voice and smiled again and her eyes pop'd out of her face as she went 'HOLY SH*T! OMG!' then gave me a big hug.

When I asked her about it later, she said "I had no frigging idea and was wondering who this blond bitch was that was giving me a hard time!"

LMAO!!

"Are you going to cut off your vagina?" :D

First thing my dad said was "okay. Im not gonna pay for the surgery though" lool. Whats ironic is now he would in a heartbeat.

A colleague called me to discuss a new research project over a coffee. I explained that I was now Cindy and a woman (didn't want to shock him ::)).

He paused and then said, that's great Cindy -- You do still drink coffee?

One of the first to add my new Facebook profile was a Catholic priest. I wasn't really that surprised, but it's worth mentioning. I also received a very supportive message from another priest, and some other priests sent me neutral but friendly messages. I know through third parties that others have been less positive, but at least they chose not to say anything to me. In general, I have been positively surprised with how friendly people (both lay and cleric) in the Church have been.

One of my aunts, who I believed would need a few months to come around (if she ever would), sent me a very nice text message admitting this was "unfamiliar", but clearly expressing her intention to be accepting and to do her best with name and pronouns. We have also been more in contact (no big conversations or things like that, but small things like commenting more on social networks and so on) since then, than we had been in a long time.

Classmates from high school, who I barely knew even then, contacted me to express their support. As did my former boss - who I haven't spoken to since I disappeared out of the blue because of depression.

Oh, and lastly: Another aunt of mine decided to tell my first homeroom teacher (they're friends, and she still gives her updates about me) by saying "I have lost a nephew, but got another niece". Instead of connecting the dots, she feared that something bad had happened to me, and when my aunt explained that no, no need to worry, that I was perfectly well, but that I was transitioning, she started laughing and said "Oh, it's only that!". At least she had no problems processing the news. And my aunt learned that she should use a less dramatic line next time.

Quote from: KimSails on June 01, 2015, 11:42:48 AM
lol!  My brother took it in stride when I told him I was trans.  But I got a very similar response last week when I told him I was about to come out to eighty-some people at work:
"Wow. Alright. This might sound weird...It take huge balls!"

Many of my male friends and co-workers said something to the effect of "It takes a lot of guts to do that!". None of the women I came out to said anything along those lines.

When I came out to my Mother and Father in law, I did not get the reactions I expected.  I thought my mother in law would be okay and my father in law might be upset.  Instead, My Mother in law cried.  My father in law said he was fine with it. He reiterated a few minutes later, with a big smile, a big thumbs up, and "We're good!"

FWIW, my mother in law has been very nice since.  She (and my father in law) gave me jewelry for my birthday.

Kim :)

There is an old Betty White meme (and Betty White did NOT say it in reality) that goes: "Why do people say to grow some balls! Balls are weak and sensitive!  Grow a vagina! Those things can take a pounding."

(The actual author was some stand up comic but I've forgotten his name, but the meme floats around to this day with Betty White's image attached to it.)

I didn't actually come out to him officially, but I had dealings with this acquaintance after a long hiatus. I was looking pretty male and sporting a decidedly masculine voice. He did a genuine, textbook double-take. Not often I see that.

After I came out to my mom about everything. She told me that if I was born a girl I would have been Cassandra Ann, and if my brother was born a girl, his name would have been Monica Ann.
I definitely like the name Kate far better, but the icing on the cake is my brothers female name. Now I know something about him that he doesn't even know... so when I come out to him, and he so messes with me, even jokingly, I can totally be all like "alright Monica.".

Let's all climb aboard the choo choo train to happiness
Kate♥

well the best was my colleague who jumped for joy as if her sports team won a championship. She then said,"welcome to the team! I'm so happy we are going to have another lady on the team!!!" She was smiling from ear to ear.

I kind of understand now, talking to cis women and also reading magazines with career advice etc. In my field it's tech and engineering and as such male dominated. There is the whole "brogrammer" vibe going on and that doesn't help. Another woman, especially one who leads the team is a huge plus and adds the comfort factor. I'm not sure if my male subordinates will respect me though. That is a challenge I need to figure out. They kind of don't already but while they were shocked they wished me all the best.

The best and unexpected reaction I got was being at the doctors waiting room when the female doctor called out my old male name and initially refused to accept that I was the patient she was to see. It caused a sceen and many people looked confused when I stood up but it was one of the first times that I knew I was passing as a woman :D

I had a great one just last week. I went to a Forest Service ranger station to pick up a permit, and the young ranger on duty did a double-take when she saw my birth name on the computer screen. But she recovered nicely, and said "Oh... (X) is an unusual name, isn't it?" I said "Yes, and I hate it, and I'll be getting it changed in two weeks." She got it immediately, said "Oh, what are you changing to?" I told her, and she smiled, held out her hand, and said "Pleased to meet you, (male name)!"  After that she gendered me correctly, had some curiosity but wasn't the least bit intrusive or inappropriate, and -- the best part -- when she issued me the card that said I'd watched the orientation video and didn't need to see it again, I asked her if she'd put it in my soon-to-be new name, and she did!

Then I had to sign my name on the back of the card, and I realized it was the first thing I'd ever signed using the new name. That was a wonderful moment, and the whole experience made my day -- completely unexpected!

Here's a big shout-out to Miranda the forest ranger! (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fbiggrin.gif&hash=fa2db8a2d15c338f95b7a2cbcb46a673a808a937)

Quote from: Tysilio on June 24, 2015, 09:30:13 AM
I had a great one just last week. I went to a Forest Service ranger station to pick up a permit, and the young ranger on duty did a double-take when she saw my birth name on the computer screen. But she recovered nicely, and said "Oh... (X) is an unusual name, isn't it?" I said "Yes, and I hate it, and I'll be getting it changed in two weeks. She got it immediately, said "Oh, what are you changing to?" I told her, and she smiled, held out her hand, and said "Pleased to meet you, (male name)!"  After that she gendered me correctly, had some curiosity but wasn't the least bit intrusive or inappropriate, and -- the best part -- when she issued me the card that said I'd watched the orientation video and didn't need to see it again, I asked her if she'd put it in my soon-to-be new name, and she did!

Then I had to sign my name on the back of the card, and I realized it was the first thing I'd ever signed using the new name. That was a wonderful moment, and the whole experience made my day -- completely unexpected!

Here's a big shout-out to Miranda the forest ranger! (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fbiggrin.gif&hash=fa2db8a2d15c338f95b7a2cbcb46a673a808a937)

Great post!

And my love to Miranda, a great woman!

Who had the good fortune to meet a great guy.

"I know." and "I knew it", both from friends

also relate to Abby, when i came out to people at gay (men and women) clubs i go to i got a lot of "so u wanna be a woman" type responses....then i had to explain and they were still confused

Quote from: Tysilio on June 24, 2015, 09:30:13 AM
Then I had to sign my name on the back of the card, and I realized it was the first thing I'd ever signed using the new name.

Oh dear! I haven't even thought about that. Better start practicing.

There were a bunch of fun responses I recall.  After telling our College President; "Glad this is about you, I thought you were here to complain about me"  My adult son; "Well that makes sense, I felt I was being raised by two women anyway"  Various versions of; "So, I figured that out long ago"  Other activist; "OK fine, but we still need you to chair this meeting or......   Best friends; Who did you tell first?  "Why didn't you ever tell me"?  I tried, you didn't listen to me and yes "I want to play with your boobs when you get them"

Another funny misconception was a brother who thought my genitals would "go away" with HRT.  I did tell him they were shrinking but disappear?  We can wish ;D

When my wife and I sat down and told my two step-sons, my eight-year-old asked: " Is she still going to play Minecraft?"

And later, near Christmas time, he spotted, and asked about, a present under the tree addressed to Kim.  When my wife told him what it was a light bulb went on: "Yeah, Mom! You can help Kim learn to be a girl!"

My father asked immediately "Do you still like football?" No female football fans in the universe, I guess. :)

My mother said hesitantly "Well, I did used to wonder if you were gay..." the funniest part of that was the look on her face when I pointed out that I AM, just not in the way she meant, though.

Quote from: KarinMcD

Quote from: TysilioThen I had to sign my name on the back of the card, and I realized it was the first thing I'd ever signed using the new name.

Oh dear! I haven't even thought about that. Better start practicing.

Yes, I did have to think about it for a moment -- what came out was pretty much my regular illegible signature, but shorter and with the new initials. (If it works, don't fix it? )

The funniest reaction I got was when I was telling selected senior management at work. I had finally gotten around to telling my boss and when I told him he was literally at a loss for words - he sat there for awhile staring at me and then came out with "You wear MAKEUP?!?!"  :laugh: Once he adjusted to the new me he has been great ever since.

Another funny one was the first time I went to see my therapist in girl mode - she opened her door and looked at me sitting on the couch with a puzzled look on her face, obviously thinking "I wonder who you are - I was expecting a dude..." LOL....

Quote from: KimSails on June 24, 2015, 08:31:20 PM
And later, near Christmas time, he spotted, and asked about, a present under the tree addressed to Kim.  When my wife told him what it was a light bulb went on: "Yeah, Mom! You can help Kim learn to be a girl!"

This is beautiful. :)

I forgot details,but I remember that when I was abroad my professor sent documents(I can't remember if it was for residence permit or something else...anyway important)Somehow they wrote M although in my passport it was still written F (I'm pre everything FTM) along with masculine photograph and beard(PCOS,possible CAH) and also gender neutral name.I was happy but they had to change it so I waited for another week.

Another situation was my pregnancy(I had great desire to become parent so I incorporated that fact in my plans).It was a shock for Faculty staff "We thought you can't become pregnant!" Of course everything went well..

Also once when I attended summer school I had male roomate..and on summer school certificate after final exam they wrote "M"...

I had a couple different weird reactions, but the one that I can share is when I told someone I had went to school with since elementary school. I had been chatting to him on Facebook about it and he didn't believe the person he was talking to was me. So he proceed to quiz me on things he new about me. Despite my anwsers he still didn't believe so I had to remind him of something happened when we were growing up that only a hand full off people actually witnessed occur to be able to authentic myself in his eyes. It's weird in the sense I would have never expected I would have to go to such links with him. Once we got passed that he understood and believed me.
Mariah

Quote from: Tessa James on June 24, 2015, 03:18:03 PM
There were a bunch of fun responses I recall.  After telling our College President; "Glad this is about you, I thought you were here to complain about me"  My adult son; "Well that makes sense, I felt I was being raised by two women anyway"  Various versions of; "So, I figured that out long ago"  Other activist; "OK fine, but we still need you to chair this meeting or......   Best friends; Who did you tell first?  "Why didn't you ever tell me"?  I tried, you didn't listen to me and yes "I want to play with your boobs when you get them"

Another funny misconception was a brother who thought my genitals would "go away" with HRT.  I did tell him they were shrinking but disappear?  We can wish ;D

Tess, that last piece was funny...I sure wish as well lol
Also, I am hopeful my supervisors at work will be as great as your college president was. (I work for a college) I really haven't come out to anyone yet (aside from y'all here) and I hope I will look back and smile about it when I do.

Last fall I was writing a grant application for this summer with my friend L.   We were just about done, when I realized there was a very slight chance that I might decide to transition before we lead the workshop the grant would fund.   So I decided I should let her know about my trans-ness before we sent the proposal in.  while I had know L for years, I had no idea how she would accept the news.    Her response:  Is that all?   I was afraid you were going to be unable to help with the grant program.   

That is still my favorite response and L soon became my first girlfriend (as a girl's friend.)

they guys i thought would kick my ass hit on me!

Quote from: KaydeeHer response:  Is that all?   I was afraid you were going to be unable to help with the grant program.   

I love this!

There's a joke in there somewhere that's pretty much the opposite of "Apart from that, Mrs. Kennedy..."

Some of my favorites while slowly coming out to friends have been,

"If you grow bigger boobs than me, I'll kill you." (Female)

"Just make sure you marry a rich man to spoil your ass." (Female)

"I still won't want to see you naked." XD (Male)

"I know the perfect dress for you!" (Female) And she was right, I absolutely love it. XD I just need the ~170 bucks to buy it.

"Oh god, are we going to have to watch chickflicks together now?" (Male)



As I slowly come out to more and more people I realize how accepting most people are. I've only had one or two adverse reactions and only one person say they didn't care at all. I just hope my family reacts in a similar way...

My grandparents were the best.
They (along with my parents) visited me while I was living abroad and I was terrified to tell them. Plus I was on the verge of a break up. I was 20 y/o at the time.
When I told them I needed to live as a girl they both said simultaneously 'We know'.
Full support ever since, even if they forget the pronouns now and then  :D

Quote from: Abby Claire on May 31, 2015, 04:27:29 PM
When I told a couple of people they thought I was a girl who was transitioning to male. I took it as a compliment that they thought I already looked fem enough that I was born that way.

Haha, I had the same reaction from men on a chatting/dating site. It is a great compliment  :)

You can be my bridesmaid  :-*

Exact same thing

When a friend seemed unable to crack s joke about bring transgender. This is especially funny because he loves the Rocky Horror Picture show and usually loves telling sick jokes.

The reactions of the people I have told (in chronological order):
The one person I could trust with my coming out: Shocked silence for almost a minute.
The school psychologist: "I figured that out already. I was just waiting for you to say it."
Mother: "OK."
A teacher I was in good terms with: "It's perfectly fine with me, just don't run off crying in the middle of a school day so damn often."
Another teacher: "(Before I tell her) As long as you haven't killed anyone, anything is fine with me. (I tell her) Including that."
Father: "This is a really big thing. I'm glad that you told me. Now, we won't tell your step-mom, won't we? And we're still going to see that war movie, right?"

My grandad said don't you think your walking around with me with breasts.my support worker said your full of surprises.my friend said don't hit on me lol.my mom said I knew I was a girl when she had me .another friend said I don't know who you are I loved that one

I when I told my superintendent the only thing he asked was "Will you still be able to do your job? Because the rest of it we can deal with as it happens." He is my #1 hero, he even took it to his upper management and had them write up policies more my protection and well being.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

I've got several funny reactions

My mums response was "you're old enough to choose how to live your life.... Ooh doesn't the dog look cute"

I told one friend as he was drinking his beer and about half of the pint came out of his nose, I choose my timing with a bit more care nowdays.

Whilst in hospital last year I was in a private room, dr's & nurses would enter the room, pause, say sorry for entering the wrong room and leave. Then I'd start a slow countdown from 10, as I reached 2 or 1 they'd poke their head around the door to ask if I was Jayne, I almost felt sorry for them

From my eldest sister:

"I always used to think of you as a guy anyway, but I didn't tell you because I thought you'd be offended."

Seems like everyone in my family knew, except for me. I'm glad I didn't miss the memo entirely, even if it took me until I was almost twenty-two to realise.

  It took you only 22 years.  That is much quicker than some of us.   

My sister responded:  This way I get the sister I always wanted without losing the older brother I always loved.

I have 2 internet friends who assumed I was a cis guy, as I told them I was, but when some of my other friends started accidentally saying "she" when talking about me online, they become suspicious. I finally decided to tell them last summer that I was born female, they couldnt believe me. "I knew your voice was high for a dude but there is no way you're a girl". "I need some sort of proof, I need to see like some medical record or something" haha it was so awesome that they were accepting and completely knew me as a guy. I had to show them a childhood picture of me with a caption from my sister saying directly I was her 'sister'. It was my first experience with being treated as a guy, and they still do, they tell me that they can never imagine me being a girl :D. What's awesome is that they back me up on everything when people question my gender online because of my voice too. "I'm just a late bloomer" :P

"As long as your boobs aren't bigger than mine".

Quote from: Tysilio on June 24, 2015, 09:12:29 PM


Yes, I did have to think about it for a moment -- what came out was pretty much my regular illegible signature, but shorter and with the new initials. (If it works, don't fix it? (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Ftongue.gif&hash=635dd8fbd198d13e75e7b21e12e5f405e686d654))

That's how I do my new signature too! In my case I just have to change the first initial a bit to turn it into a P.

Some people I met after transitioning, when told about me being trans, also asked if I was going from female to male. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or what...

But the funniest I recall right now is from my sisters son and daughter. I transitioned in a different country, and told my parents first via email. They told my sister. When she wrote to me expressing her support she said she had told the kids, and they spent the whole afternoon repeating "auntie Promethea" to remember it and make sure they don't misgender me.

Hands-down, the best reaction came from the woman who would soon become my bestie. Initially, she thought my facebook account had been hacked by someone with a seriously weird sense of humour. When she realized it was me, and that I wasn't joking, she immediately told me I had to make a trip back to my home town at some point so that we could go shopping, get makeovers, and swap fashion advice.