This is the third incident that's happened to me in town (UK) in a 6 month period. I was walking home from therapy and walked past a bmw suv, the window wound down and a black man inside shouted out "I want to suck your dick you transsexual bastard" I said No your the bastard and he got out of the suv and started to come towards me
I went in to a nearby shop because there was people and cameras in there, he followed me in so I called the police and they listed it as a hate crime and probably would have charged him but he accused me of being racists high was a lie.
I wasn't brought up to be racist and My best friend is African.
The other time I was assaulted, iv suffered similar abuse before and I am just sick of it.
I hate feeling weak and helpless/vulnerable and I am starting to regret transition, if I still have testoerone I wouldn't have lost my aggression and muscle mass and I would have been able to stand up for myself.
Life has sucked since srs
Oh, God, please don't think that. I care very deeply, and I was very upset by your story. I've never been a victim of that sort of crime, so I really have nothing to say or add, or I would have gladly told you whatever I thought would help.
There are a lot of people here who've been through something similar. Some people only check once a day or less, so give them time.
I just saw this myself. It sucks. I actually had an entire family pull up to me in their car while walking my dog in my neighborhood. They all tried to insult me. I ignored them and it didn't take long before they left. Its not easy to learn to just ignore people, but nothing you say is going to help the situation. This was not the first time something like this happened to me. I actually had a teenager do something similar when I had just first started presenting in public. He started to follow me home. It really bothered me, but I ignored him the whole time and eventually he went away.
This type of behavior is the first thing my therapist brought up to me. I've had a lifetime of dealing with it as a nerd. Fortunately it doesn't happen that often. I hope things get better for you.
I just saw this, and wow that's disgusting. Who would do that?!
I hate how so many people can be uncivilized and jerks. I would carry a big bottle of mace for just in case purposes.
Oh gosh. I feel for you. Isn't it awful when people act like this? We're gaining in numbers. Little by little, people are realizing they can no longer behave that way. Not that they could, but they did...
It hurts when things like this happen. Don't ever for a second regret your transition. You are becoming more and more YOU. And hey, look at it this way: punk rockers go out of their way to get themselves INTO situations like this! ;D
From that perspective, right now being trans is the punkest thing ever.
A year ago, I would get clocked left and right. It hurt so much. People have said and done some really mean things. This hardly ever happens now, but it still does on the rare occasion. And it still hurts so, so much. I'm with you, and everyone else on here is. All of us trans folk are together on this: male, female, non-binary, agender, and anywhere else.
Stay strong. You're far gnariler than you know.
I am sorry this happened to you. The person is a jerk and you just can not reason with them.
I had a big guy that was dunk stand in front of me blocking my path, pointing at me and shouting, "you are Fxxxing crazy" several times. I stopped starred and I did not move a muscle and he backed down and moved aside. It was a very busy street in the gayborhood.
I am so sorry you have dealt with this even once, let alone three times :(
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on June 01, 2015, 06:13:28 PM
I am sorry this happened to you. The person is a jerk and you just can not reason with them.
I had a big guy that was dunk stand in front of me blocking my path, pointing at me and shouting, "you are Fxxxing crazy" several times. I stopped starred and I did not move a muscle and he backed down and moved aside. It was a very busy street in the gayborhood.
It's funny how if you actually let crazy come through, these perpetrators get scared and back down. :)
Quote from: Katiepie on June 01, 2015, 05:27:11 PM
I hate how so many people can be uncivilized and jerks. I would carry a big bottle of mace for just in case purposes.
It's a shame the British are not allowed such toys
It is awful, no one should have to go through abuse. Wish I had the strength I had 2 years ago :police:
Wow this is truly awful. Thankfully no one seems to say anything to me about being trans but people have called me a "sand n***er" and terrorist many times.
This is over the top bad, I've had people say things, but the following is really creepy. It doesn't even sound like the police really did much about it. sorry your having a problems with the creeps and jerks.
So sorry this happened to you. Some people are idiots and don't get passed certain things. Don't let it get you down. You have to keep plugging away without letting them get you down if you can because from time to time we all run into idiots in this world like that. Big Hugs
Mariah
Well...since you can't carry aren't allowed weapons of any sort...and it is really a case of "he said/she said", the police can't do anything about it.
So you have to have something that trumps what the bad person says he did.
How about a body camera, like the police use? (They range in size from cigarette-pack size, to 1 1/2"-2" diameter, very discreet) If that's not allowed...numbers almost always ensure safety.
Quote from: iKate on June 01, 2015, 06:54:29 PM
Wow this is truly awful. Thankfully no one seems to say anything to me about being trans but people have called me a "sand n***er" and terrorist many times.
Kate that's awful! I cannot understand the mentality of some people.
Hugs, Anne
Quote from: Lady Smith on June 01, 2015, 09:42:29 PM
Kate that's awful! I cannot understand the mentality of some people.
Hugs, Anne
Oh the worst of it was my neighbors who called the town and said that terrorists moved in to the neighborhood when we first moved in. When I showed up to (catholic) church they were kind of surprised. And this is supposedly "progressive" NJ. Actually in this state I've encountered more bigotry than in Florida, Texas and the South.
So yeah I've been dealing with it for a long time. I just remain a good person, tax paying citizen and productive member of society. I don't let the haters win.
Quote from: Katiepie on June 01, 2015, 05:27:11 PM
I would carry a big bottle of mace for just in case purposes.
Exactly... maybe even a taser
The British are only allowed to use a firm voice to defend themselves. Sometimes even a harsh look, but I think there's a 3 day waiting period for that.
Quote from: Beth Andrea on June 02, 2015, 10:53:36 AM
The British are only allowed to use a firm voice to defend themselves. Sometimes even a harsh look, but I think there's a 3 day waiting period for that.
It makes the British seem very pathetic, even pepper spray is a no no
Quote from: mythaisrs on June 02, 2015, 01:06:06 PM
It makes the British seem very pathetic, even pepper spray is a no no
I'm sure the British people aren't pathetic...but certainly some of the laws over there are. I'm also certain you get to vote for Parliament occupants just like we do for Congress...but then again, often its a "choice" between Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.
Having been in the position of having been pelted with stones myself as well as being followed by creeps wanting sex my response has always been to call the Police. I live in New Zealand and not the US which might make things different, but I've generally found the Police to be helpful and my complaint has always been taken seriously.
That regulation seems really stupid to me that you can't carry even pepper spray. Hmm, maybe a discreet small bottle filled with vinegar? Not really a weapon or sort of thing as such, but it will, if necessary to unleash, confuse the persuer and probably diffuse the situation.
Otherwise, groups of friends will always help in the long run.
Kate
Quote from: mythaisrs on June 02, 2015, 01:06:06 PM
It makes the British seem very pathetic, even pepper spray is a no no
Sadly, there are lots of places, even in the US, where pepper spray is illegal. Small cans of hairspray never are though (unless you try to get on a plane with one.)
I hate to admit this but this is the reason I carry a hand gun. I am with the law to do so. Its a shame but it is what it is
im ex mil plus still taller w a bigger build, but i do miss my muscles after the t went away:( do look into the camera as mentioned, ebay a button camera, they are very cheap. i keep one on my bag, looks like a button, with the rest hidden. at least it will re cord audio for these situations. then make sure you point it carefully to get faces and liscense plates..
dont let them know you have one, dont ever say anything, dont even smile or smerk at them to avoid confrontation. even if you can take them, do you think the cop is going to always side with you?
if you do get a good video, just give the police a copy, post another to your local lgbt group, and possibly one on youtube as proof incase it escalates.
best safty tips for us:
1. dont go alone or always have someone know where you are going
2. take a class in self defense, (yea you were once a guy who could kick ass, but now you have no t or muscles, and have to fight different, while your opponent will not treat you like a lady!)
3. Only trust people you have known for a long time, perfer before the transition.
4. dont carry weapons or sprays on you unless you are ready to have it turned on you too! (plus after using a weapon or such, you have a good likely hood of ending up in jail, even if you were in the right!)
you may argue with me on these, but these are based on statistics of everyday life.. you are not as strong and as mean as you once were.
think only of survival! save yourself and get help. or play against the odds and we will say a good word for you when we hear about it.. you may get lucky, but dont inspire others the same, or you will be responsible for their misfortune. yes the cops are not as good as they are supposed to be, but there should be other ways for help..
and if all else fails, start screaming for help, if you do get hit, drop on the ground and start faking a seizure while moaning, they wont know what todo and usually run! better hit only once, than face beaten in! practice that before you ever try that, ir you may just end up a kicking bag if it doesnt look real..
and last, may sound weak, but you are ladies and this should work. sure they hit you thinking you are a male, but keep up screaming and acting like a lady and help may come to your aid since real men do not let ladies get hurt!
just dont be in a place where you need this advise! be safe:)