It seems as if I am the ONLY one who hates, hates, hates shopping for clothes and shoes. Why? The reason, is pretty obvious. Women's clothes were made for women born with women bone structures. Now, someone will say that women come in all different sizes, shapes and colors, but there is a range, which is a feminine range. No matter how thin some of us become, we just have a different bone structure. So, shopping for clothes is the most horrible experience for me. I seem to be the only one, though. My therapist was shocked because she says that women love clothes, fashion, whereas I hate it. I would prefer to work over time, to clean my house, to vacuum the floor, but not to go shopping.
When the summer comes, it's even worse. At least, during the winter, you can camouflage what mother nature did. When the summer comes: forget it.
Did I say how much I hate shopping for clothes?
I love shopping for clothes. I love the style and how you can mix and match to create different styles for many occasions. The part I do hate is finding items long enough for my 6'7" body. In the summer months it's not that bad. I'm curvy in all the right spots and women's clothes fit me well as long as it's long enough. I do have to try nearly everything on. Lane Bryant, Torrid and Long Tall Sally are my go to places but for pants, it's strictly mail order only. Shoes are not too bad between Amazon and Globe Shoes (local to me and they carry up to size 13W.)
The other thing I dislike about shopping is crowds. I prefer to shop when it's not so crowded.
Do you have a Torrid store nearby? they specialize in women's sizes 12 to 28. I've only bought from their online store. But the fit is good on my 6-foot frame. Also, I don't know if Long Tall Sally has retails stores anywhere near you (they only have three in the U.S. with a fourth coming) But they were highly recommended by a friend of mine from Canada. They also have a web store.
LOL..Sydney
I think we simultaneously posted :)
Whaattttt... seriously I used to hate it, now like all women I love it... only problem has been is keeping a reign on spending...
However it does take time to get it right, finding your style etc... not easy shaking off those years of half interestingly buying what was really needed clothing and getting it right now...
My problem is I'm too short, only 5' 4" at dead straight upright with a body weight of 8Kgs over target size...
hugs it'll all come together
L Katy :-*
Marly and Sidney, thank you so much for your responses. I appreciate. Sidney, I admire and applaud you for enjoying shopping. My problem is not the height, so much. I am barely 5'9'', which is tall but not so tall for a woman. Plenty of women taller than me. The problem is that my body is ugly, unattractive and masculine. Period. I do admire trans-women who enjoy shopping, but I don't. I have so many characteristics that are grossly manly. The legs, the calves, feet, torax, ribcage... before taking hormones, my body was the one of an attractive, athletic 5'9'' guy. Post hormones, my body is that of an unattractive guy. The hormones basically made me flabby, gave me cellulite and stretch marks but I am still manly.
The two questions I have is 1) why hormones are so over-rated? On me, they just gave me the bads of a womanly body without getting rid of the bads of a male body 2) why is it so hard for therapists to understand my hate for shopping? It does like this: I have gender dysphoria. My dysphoria is still persistent after being POST OP (even though, I am glad I am post-op), hence, I avoid situations where I have to face my ugly, masculine body
Hormones depend on where you start out. I am 5'14" and was 145 pounds when I started hormones. I put on about 20 pounds that went where I wanted it. Over the years, I moved up to 200 pounds which has given me a tummy and a little spare tire so I am on my way back to 170 pounds. The weigh is coming off where I want to get rid of it so that is a good thing. My tall store is gone but I need to update my wardrobe. If I can find what I need, it will be fun. If not, it will not be fun and I will have to dig around on the internet for what I need.
So sorry its not working for you.... hugs
It does take time for the 'mones to work across all fat and muscle masses... I am much older, but It has taken me close to 10 years to make an impact.
My ribcage is a source of issue, as being short the ribcage seems much bigger in proportion to the rest of my body... But to be honest I try not to look to hard and get anxious over it. There is a tendency for E to increase weight.... sorry that you got stretch marks etc...
I know we all get excited over some of the hormone effects, but there's always good with bad.... it does vary incredibly from person to person... I think we love them because it is helping to bridge the gender ID gap.
Oh and I still get anxious looking in the mirror, BTW. I have been learning (hard) to be less critical of my body, face etc... as it would only make me go back to how I was a year or so ago... Also I have spent much more time over the last year observing characteristics, looks, clothing choice etc. of CIS women without being too obvious, and guess what I am not that different really.... with a little practice.
L Katy :-*
Clothes shopping is not easy, you definitely need to experiment, look for online sales, so much easier and costs less if it stuffs up. Sorry about my quirkiness in earlier post...
I learned that I have to make what makes me happy. For me, shopping for clothes, is a huge source of stress and sadness. So, I avoid that. Every time friends forced me into shopping, we ended up arguing and I got frustrated. I do not know. Maybe, I have a different perception of things. I am post-op and very happy. That is the best thing I did. However, even post-op, I am at the beginning. I still have a long way to go. I believe that most transsexuals have to be under-weight. We start off with big bones. Whereas genetic women can get away with a few lbs of over weight, on us, it makes us look bigger, bulkier. I do not believe the height is really the issue, unless someone is VERY tall. I don't know, I do not mean to sound arrogant, please believe me. I think ignorance is bliss. I have friends who do not pass and I see people laughing at them or being obnoxious but they, my friends, just don't notice. Are they happier than me? It looks like they are, but, if you look closer, they take drugs to numb the pain. They only gravitate around trans circles and do not have jobs. Again, I am not generalizing, I am just comparing my experience to theirs. It is normal.
As for the 'mones, I think they don't do sh*t. Sorry if I sound round, that is not my intention. I have seen people who started hormones at 13 and they are still grossly masculine. By contrast, people who started them after 38 years and they look feminine. It's a matter of luck, but, in our community, hormones are over-rated. I hear all the time ts-women saying who the 'mones made them womanly, softer (they say "softer" with a lisp and mushy pronunciation") and they even show before and after pictures, and I can't say any difference.
The bottom line is that I think that being oblivious is better than being aware. Contrary to popular belief, it is not true that we are our own worst critics. Studies suggest that we tend to over-estimate our attractiveness.
Anyway, I just have to stay away from clothing stores to be happy.
Quote from: teresita on June 02, 2015, 11:07:04 PM
.....The problem is that my body is ugly, unattractive and masculine. Period. I do admire trans-women who enjoy shopping, but I don't. I have so many characteristics that are grossly manly. The legs, the calves, feet, torax, ribcage... before taking hormones, my body was the one of an attractive, athletic 5'9'' guy. Post hormones, my body is that of an unattractive guy. The hormones basically made me flabby, gave me cellulite and stretch marks but I am still manly.
The two questions I have is 1) why hormones are so over-rated? On me, they just gave me the bads of a womanly body without getting rid of the bads of a male body 2) why is it so hard for therapists to understand my hate for shopping? It does like this: I have gender dysphoria. My dysphoria is still persistent after being POST OP (even though, I am glad I am post-op), hence, I avoid situations where I have to face my ugly, masculine body
I don't know how long you've been on HRT, but for most it does make a huge difference. There are exceptions of course. You may just need to give it more time.
My wife hates shopping with a passion unless it's for something technical. (She prefers tech to jewelry and clothes, LOL) A few weeks ago I took her shopping because she needed some clothes for her mom's memorial service the following week. She was reluctant to go, but was happy afterwards that she had something nice to wear. Some cis-woman are just not into shopping so it's not a big deal. I hope your therapist isn't the type of person who says a woman (trans or cis) has to be or dress a certain way.
BTW, it's Sydney with a "Y" :)
Hi Sydney, sorry for misspelling your name. I am glad you pointed that out. Yes, my therapist, and the previous one, and the previous one too, cannot get their heads wrapped around the fact that I HATE shopping with all my heart. I have been on hormones for 5 years. I did notice changes: cellulite, stretch marks, flabbiness, lack of energy, less concentration. So, all bad things. I think my problems are mostly bone structure. So, until I resect my ribs and do a lipo in certain areas, I will be a bulky person. Either way, I guess I am the ONLY transsexual in the world who hates shopping. Also, people tell me to accept myself. They are good hearted but if I had been REALLY able to accept myself, I would have accepted myself as a male.
In my previous life clothes shopping was an in-and-out experience, to be done as quickly as possible - get new jeans or a button down shirt or brown/black shoes and get out as quickly as possible. It was sheer drudgery.
Now I greatly enjoy shopping and can spend endless time doing it.
My body is not that feminine shaped - I am pear shaped and I wear a size 16 dress. I weigh almost 190 lbs on a 5'8" frame.
Since it's the only body I have I have had to learn the styles that look good on me and the styles that don't. Like anything in life you have to buckle down and study the problem and find the solutions. I'd suggest that you look at other women when you are out and about and notice the ones that have builds similar to your own - do you like how they look? If so, study what they are wearing, and try to figure out why it looks good on them. Do the same for the ones that don't look attractive to you to help you learn the difference. In time you'll be able to identify clothing that looks good on you and you will be able to put together a fantastic wardrobe.
After 22 years on HRT my body looks like a woman's when I look at myself in the mirror with my clothes off (provided I keep wart covered up). I used to be a heavy truck mechanic so I had muscle to die for, but as time as gone on change has happened and my body has grown itself to be all I could want (apart from wart). So I can tell you that change will happen, though it might take some time.
I can remember the difficulty of trying to find clothes to fit, which wasn't helped at all by me not really knowing what styles of clothing suited me best. I dress mostly unisex femme these days, but occasionally will dress up a bit more posh. Shopping for clothes, - oh yeah sister! I'm a woman of slender means so mostly I shop for clothes at the church thrift shops or the Sallys here in town, but fortunately the three shops we have here in town are very well run and everything is presented just like it would be in a mainstreet clothes shop.
The farming district where I live was originally settled by Norwegian colonists so a lot of the women around here are TALL and have the build of Norse warrior maidens which means that second hand clothing in my size is easy to find.
As Sydney and Marly have said on-line shopping can be your friend though if you can't find what you need locally. I can't really suggest any on-line stores for you though as I live in New Zealand.
It sounds to me like you have some issues with body dysmorphia to go along with the gender dysphoria. It's something I've struggled with as well. I get around my body image issues by only picking out clothes that aren't very close-fitting, and favoring low necklines that draw attention away from the frame of my shoulders.
Avoiding cap sleeves, anything strappy or with embellished shoulders and you'll be fine. Shoulder pads are "in" again, you can always buy something with shoulderpads, and remove the pad. My mom has the same wide shoulders as I do and did the same in the 80s.
Cis-women do have all sorts of shapes and sizes, it's one of the reasons there are so many different styles to accentuate parts and deemphasize others.
Avoid skinny jeans, and make sure your dresses and skirts flare out above or below the knee or are A-line to make up for thinner hips. Clothing can be overwhelming, but if you go with someone who is supportive and understanding of your anxieties, it can be mitigated. I used to hate shopping, but my mom helped me get over it. And I've recently been having fun albeit with some frustration finding something I like that fits well.
Hormones aren't a miracle cure, nor are they for everybody. If they cause undesirable side effects, you may be taking too much or too little. With a doctor's care, you can adjust your dose as needed. Remember, too much estrogen gets turned into testosterone in our bodies and vice versa. Our body regulates our hormone levels automatically, but finding the Goldilocks Zone for your hormone levels can take a significant amount of time.
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I hate it a bit too... First of all, whenever I enter female section, I become puzzled and stunned (literally) of the variety of styles and the idea which comes to my mind is "I will never ever figure this all out". I usually end up with trying on a pair of jeans or denim jacket, become frustrated with my waistline, decide that there is hardly any point in doing this until I loose ~10-20 pounds in right places and head off to the children section (and leave the shop having spent ~ 60-70 EUR on kid stuff - at least I can see and figure out how this or that would look on my daughter). Yeah, I kinda like the process - looking at stuff, but not touching - because being overweight and with male bone structure kinda sucks.
It's the cost I don't like because it can add up so darn quickly, but despite that I still love to shop for clothes. One thing to remember is even CIS woman have difficulty shopping for clothes sometimes and trying them on whenever possible really is the best policy to make sure they fit right. Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on June 03, 2015, 01:27:28 AM
I hate it a bit too... First of all, whenever I enter female section, I become puzzled and stunned (literally) of the variety of styles and the idea which comes to my mind is "I will never ever figure this all out". I usually end up with trying on a pair of jeans or denim jacket, become frustrated with my waistline, decide that there is hardly any point in doing this until I loose ~10-20 pounds in right places and head off to the children section (and leave the shop having spent ~ 60-70 EUR on kid stuff - at least I can see and figure out how this or that would look on my daughter). Yeah, I kinda like the process - looking at stuff, but not touching - because being overweight and with male bone structure kinda sucks.
The experience you described is pretty normal for a lot of women. Remember we're catching up and have to learn what looks good over time. Finding the styles you like and those that suit your figure is something you do all your life. All my girlfriends have gone through many different stages of this, most have gotten frustrated by body shaming propaganda, and settled on tshirts and jeans. Cis women just started earlier and have had more time for their fashion sense to evolve.
Although if you've watched What Not To Wear with Stacy and Clinton like me, you know that being cis doesn't mean they automatically make good choices. They usually are overwhelmed and opt out of fashion trends. It seems pretty ubiquitous as part of the female experience.
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My problem is not having the kind of money I need to fulfill my shopping fantasy.
I like shopping for clothes and shoes but have very particular tastes. I'm going for a certain look and most things don't seem right to me. But this makes those good finds that much better.
I'd suggest you concentrate on the parts of your body you like...
and expand on that feeling...
otherwise its like a gardener watering weeds...
you might give second hand shops a try.
Often there are pieces there you would have not thought of... in nice colours and styles...
and it may be possible to take one or two items more...
hugs
Quote from: teresita on June 02, 2015, 11:07:04 PM
The two questions I have is 1) why hormones are so over-rated? On me, they just gave me the bads of a womanly body without getting rid of the bads of a male body 2) why is it so hard for therapists to understand my hate for shopping? It does like this: I have gender dysphoria. My dysphoria is still persistent after being POST OP (even though, I am glad I am post-op), hence, I avoid situations where I have to face my ugly, masculine body
I don't think hormones are over-rated... but I think the benefit is mostly psychological. Physical changes are mostly genetically related, meaning, either you get great feminizing result on body, or you don't. That also goes along with what kind of body built you have in general. Exactly same effects from HRT would appear different on someone with thin graceful built compared to one with larger athletic frame. Most people are happy with getting breast, and regard this alone as a great feminizing effects.
As for the face, hormones do almost nothing... other than little rounder chin and more fat on cheeks (which is often correlated with little weight gain). Anyone prepared to prove me wrong, please present a before and after photo, without make-up, same light conditions, same facial expression, same or similar hairstyle... and you will see the same face. The real changes are improved make-up skills, finding out what hairstyle or wig works for them, which shape of eyebrows work for them, improved skin quality mostly due to using proper skin care regimen, compared to nothing before and destroyed skin because of daily shaving... While hormones can't do much, a surgical facial feminization can be pretty magical, and dermatologist can be a saviour for those who shaved their faces for 20 or 30 years. The same is with the body... a surgery can change and improve where hormones couldn't do enough by themselves. There weren't much chances available even 10 years ago, but you have some seriously talented surgeons today who mastered lipo transfer and can do some really amazing things with it. For a very reasonable cost...
....Oh, and yes, I'm addicted to shopping ...
Women also come in all different attitudes towards fashion - it's a stereotype that all women love shopping.
I have yet to find a cis woman who thinks it's easy to find something off the rack that fits her body either, so I admit it does make me feel better to remind myself that even people who never went through male puberty have tons of trouble with whatever fashion designers think should be popular "this season." (Tall friends can never find pants; short friends ditto. Curvy friends can't get anything that isn't boxy or too tight, slim friends can't find anything that isn't designed for more boobage than they have... the list goes on.) As far as that goes, I have an easier time buying off the rack than my wife, so I probably still shouldn't complain.
But yeah, the fun of shopping for women's clothes wore off about the time that the fun of living as a woman did. Now it's part of normal life and a chore, most of the time.
I like shopping more a lot more than I used to, now that I actually buy clothing I like.
Quote from: mmmmm on June 03, 2015, 09:36:10 AM
As for the face, hormones do almost nothing... other than little rounder chin and more fat on cheeks (which is often correlated with little weight gain). Anyone prepared to prove me wrong, please present a before and after photo, without make-up, same light conditions, same facial expression, same or similar hairstyle... and you will see the same face.
For me they did a lot, but probably because I had fairly masculine face which features were defined by facial muscles not bone structure, so I ended up with narrower lower part of the face, reduction of upper facial muscles and rounded, fill-out cheeks. I dont wear make-up due to work related stuff, but people from my past do not recognise me on the street.
Not exactly same expression and conditions, but "more or less" (I kinda hate the third pic, but it was made a year ago anyway).
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F6dqMWaM.jpg&hash=2bee8b70eeb41fe815e03e05969879f336ce2d53)
Oh Teresita,
Every woman obsesses about some aspect of her body. Every woman! Some have it worse than others. There is no need for you to make this body image issue a "trans woman" thing in your mind; every woman experiences this to greater or lesser degree. Some women learn to play up the features of their body that they love most, while playing down those aspects that they hate. Other women suffer their whole lives over their inability to make peace with all the things they hate about their body.
This is your life, doll face. You're a woman with a unique history, but a woman like any other regardless. You may as well make peace with what you've got. Watch for the blessings; they're all around you.
Hugs!
Miharu
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on June 03, 2015, 11:59:43 AM(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F6dqMWaM.jpg&hash=2bee8b70eeb41fe815e03e05969879f336ce2d53)
Cute! Cuter!! Cutest!!!
Quote from: stephaniec on June 03, 2015, 08:36:53 AM
My problem is not having the kind of money I need to fulfill my shopping fantasy.
Me too ^-^ if i had the $ i would buy all kinds of cute dresses and nice shoes. I love dresses so much.
Quote from: Miharu Barbie on June 03, 2015, 12:16:55 PM
Cute! Cuter!! Cutest!!!
Lol, thank You, Miharu Barbie :D
thank you all for the responses. Someone stated that I have body dismorphic disorder. That is a bit far fetched. I mean, giving such a diagnosis on someone online, without even seeing them. I do not have BDD. I just have a masculine body. Is it in my mind? No, because people clock me, that means something is masculine.
Also, A line skirts don't work for me. I have wide hips. I have always had wide hips. HIps are not my problem. Also, we have to be careful when we say "look at women how they dress and try to imitate them". That is the worst piece of advice. My therapist used to say that. First of all, women, a lot of women, are fashion mistakes themselves. Just because you have seen a piece of clothing on a woman, that does not mean that the same piece of clothing will look good on you. Second of all, I do look at women. On a sunny day, they have their hair up in a tight bun and wear capris... they have not gone through male puberty. So, how someone who has gone through male puberty will wear capris when their legs are shorter than their torso? How will they wear a tight bun???? Have you ever noticed a transsexual, even post FFS, wearing a tight bun? No, even when there are 100 degrees outside, we all have unrealistic, impractical hairstyles. So, that means that comparing ourselves to GG can hurt us.
It's true I don't wear a tight bun, I guess. :) Nobody in my area typically does (the teenage hair style is the high ponytail, the older women wear their hair loose or occasionally sprayed up). I do, however, wear my own hair long (nearly to my waist) and flowing loose, no "unrealistic, impractical hairstyle." Do what you like and think works for you! Which is kind of the advice in general - there's tons of fashion suggestions for all body types in women's magazines and online, including bodies which are boxy or short-legged or whatever.
But perhaps more to the point, there are masculinely-built cis women, and there are trans women with any "quintessentially feminine" feature you can name.
While I lived in the U.S., all of women's clothes and shoes at any standard size of lady's 4 were perfectly fit to my body. It was like a heaven for my fashion shopping. Anything from Wal-mart, Target, Costco or Marshalls was just perfect. It was cheap and so much endurable, and fashionable, too! Unlike me, Korean-American women at my age near my house complained that all clothes are too big, and they are always striving to find "petite' sizes.
Now I am in my native country, S. Korea, and most clothes in the street stores are too small in height length or hip size. My foot size is 264 mm (US women's 10), but the typical maximum size here is 255 mm for women's shoes. I have to search 'Big' sizes in online stores. I have many dresses whose length is too short, barely hiding my genital area. For example:
(https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7382/16299509477_d9be2832d2_b.jpg)
Actually that dress fits well to my little daughter at age 11.
However, there are some type of clothes that I do not need to worry about the size. For example, skirts and summer dresses. Many women here at my age envy me, as I can wear clothes for the 20s, or even teens.
I sometimes order from Amazon.com or even from Payless Shoes. Even fishnet stockings here are too small, and I order from the U.S. stores with a typical delivery cost > US$10.
I always stop at Walmart or Target stores whenever I visit the U.S.
My problem is that I am a little bit addicted to shopping, and I refrain from impulse buying.
barbie~~
Most women look at other women at some point and say I wish I could be able to wear that.
Emily.. you proved a good point. Losing muscle mass is pretty evident and big change for your face. That does make a difference. I didn't have any muscle to loose on face, other than around neck, which made my adams apple a LOT more prominent and problematic.
I think your transformation is quite dramatic. You basically went from seriously masculine to looking naturally feminine, while wearing no make-up and (if I know correctly) more or less androgynous clothing choices. In very short time. I think hormones, and whatever else you did, worked pretty well :)
I know a lot of cis women who hate shopping for clothes my wife included she mainly hates it because she has a hard time finding anything that fits her like she thinks it should or if she likes something it doesn't come in her size... she used to spend a lot of time shopping with a lot of crying and anger thrown in until she found an outfit that was somewhat acceptable but after years of searching through stores she finely found a store that carries clothing in her style and size so now she just goes directly there which saves a lot of tears and reduces her stress... she still hates shopping but its a lo less stressful for everyone involved.
It is a love/ hate relationship for me. I love everything about shopping. I love the smell, the clothes, the excitement, but the one thing I hate is the weird stares I get while shopping. I have always dressed well and that is something I have every intention of continuing to do. I think my biggest problem is finding something that fits my rib cage- ugh- nightmare. However, yes stores like Catherine's, Torrid, Romans, etc... are all great stores. They are a little pricey but not if you catch a sale and go to retailmenot.com beforehand.
Melitta
the point I am trying to make is that we have to distinguish between looking unattractive and looking manly. Those are two different things.
Yes, of course, there are many unattractive cis women, there are women who hate shopping because they have an unattractive body, but, the point is that they can still wear anything and look women. On a transsexual, the point is NOT to look attractive as much as to look passable. I hope I made myself clear since there is this confusion going on. My cis-woman neighbor hates shopping because of her body type, yet, she can end up wearing anything and look like a woman. An unattractive woman? Maybe, but still a woman. I, by contrast, have to work twice as hard to get half of the recognition. That is why I hate shopping altogether and prefer not to buy clothes.
Quote from: teresita on June 03, 2015, 03:42:09 PM
On a sunny day, they have their hair up in a tight bun and wear capris... they have not gone through male puberty. So, how someone who has gone through male puberty will wear capris when their legs are shorter than their torso? How will they wear a tight bun???? Have you ever noticed a transsexual, even post FFS, wearing a tight bun? No, even when there are 100 degrees outside, we all have unrealistic, impractical hairstyles. So, that means that comparing ourselves to GG can hurt us.
I do not think there is so much difference between what we can wear and what cis-women can wear.
Tight bun? I avoid it because it damages the health of my hair, not because I can not wear it or I look more manly. It is difficult to make a bun everyday, but I sometimes wear any hair style looking like a tight bun.
(https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7692/17099567562_754a0cfe65_b.jpg)
I may try make a bun this week. It will be funny but tricky to learn.
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on June 03, 2015, 04:28:49 PM
While I lived in the U.S., all of women's clothes and shoes at any standard size of lady's 4 were perfectly fit to my body. It was like a heaven for my fashion shopping. Anything from Wal-mart, Target, Costco or Marshalls was just perfect. It was cheap and so much endurable, and fashionable, too! Unlike me, Korean-American women at my age near my house complained that all clothes are too big, and they are always striving to find "petite' sizes.
Now I am in my native country, S. Korea, and most clothes in the street stores are too small in height length or hip size. My foot size is 264 mm (US women's 10), but the typical maximum size here is 255 mm for women's shoes. I have to search 'Big' sizes in online stores. I have many dresses whose length is too short, barely hiding my genital area. For example:
(https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7382/16299509477_d9be2832d2_b.jpg)
Actually that dress fits well to my little daughter at age 11.
However, there are some type of clothes that I do not need to worry about the size. For example, skirts and summer dresses. Many women here at my age envy me, as I can wear clothes for the 20s, or even teens.
I sometimes order from Amazon.com or even from Payless Shoes. Even fishnet stockings here are too small, and I order from the U.S. stores with a typical delivery cost > US$10.
I always stop at Walmart or Target stores whenever I visit the U.S.
My problem is that I am a little bit addicted to shopping, and I refrain from impulse buying.
barbie~~
I always shop at target, the clothes fit me perfectly.
Sorry, I think I didn't make my point clear - I wasn't confused, but trying to say that since there *are* cis women with the various body flaws that make trans women look masculine, there's tons of existing fashion advice about dealing with them. I'm not at all saying "if a cis woman can have this problem, a trans woman doesn't have things harder," because that's not necessarily true; I'm mostly suggesting a Google for "short legs" or "no waist" or whatever and see what's generally suggested to find flattering clothes for that look. It sucks that we may have to work harder than cis women to blend into the female population, but we might as well take advantage of all the fashion expertise out there!
(That said, I guess I'm super lucky, because I go out in jeans and T-shirt with no makeup and messy hair and still blend in fine. Sure, I look like a frumpy middle-aged woman, but hey... I am. I'm usually OK with that, though I admit shopping usually does serve to remind me that I'm older and heavier and less sexy than the designers want.)
Women's clothes? No. But I despised shopping for men's clothes. Hate, hate, hated it. You're going to hate the way you look- I guarantee it!
Quote from: Jill F on June 03, 2015, 06:17:38 PM
Women's clothes? No. But I despised shopping for men's clothes. Hate, hate, hated it. You're going to hate the way you look- I guarantee it!
LOL... Agreed :laugh:
Quote from: Jenna Marie on June 03, 2015, 03:49:53 PM
It's true I don't wear a tight bun, I guess. :) Nobody in my area typically does (the teenage hair style is the high ponytail, the older women wear their hair loose or occasionally sprayed up). I do, however, wear my own hair long (nearly to my waist) and flowing loose, no "unrealistic, impractical hairstyle." Do what you like and think works for you! Which is kind of the advice in general - there's tons of fashion suggestions for all body types in women's magazines and online, including bodies which are boxy or short-legged or whatever.
But perhaps more to the point, there are masculinely-built cis women, and there are trans women with any "quintessentially feminine" feature you can name.
I always found putting my hair into tight buns to be a hassle to pin up when I was still working as a social worker so I mostly used a bow barrette that had a small decorative hair net attached. All my hair was nicely tucked away and with the bow the result looked nicely femme.
I've always enjoyed shopping. Sewing clothes is fun too, I made a cute skirt over the weekend and then wore it to a party.
I shop every chance I get. It's an addiction.
I LOVE clothes. Love love love love it.
But iKate...
how do you REALLY feel about it? ;D
OP, if it makes you feel any better one of my ciswoman friends recently complained that she spent an entire day shopping and it was a failure because she couldn't find any shorts that she liked on her body.
Only thing I hate about shopping is the cost! I really want a nice pair of boots but at $90 its a little much.
Hi friends :police:
Let's stay on topic here, this is not an opinions on passing topic - This is the "anybody else Hates shopping for women's clothes topic"
Any further rude or argumentative remarks may result in penalties being issued
Thank you
V M
Topic Locked
Topic reopened
Hated shopping for men's clothes - love shopping for women's. Of course not a lot of it fits my frame due to my height but I've managed so far.
Quote from: Marly on June 04, 2015, 07:48:14 AM
But iKate...
how do you REALLY feel about it? ;D
Lol.
I find it relaxing. I try on stuff too.
Quote from: Ms Grace on June 05, 2015, 01:45:05 AM
Hated shopping for men's clothes - love shopping for women's. Of course not a lot of it fits my frame due to my height but I've managed so far.
Meh, mens clothes are just super boring to look at. Just curious how tall are you? I'm 6'3 and I'll admit I haven't worn a lot but it seems to fit me better then men's clothes oddly ::)
Quote from: Ms Grace on June 05, 2015, 01:45:05 AM
Hated shopping for men's clothes - love shopping for women's. Of course not a lot of it fits my frame due to my height but I've managed so far.
I have the opposite "problem."
Pre HRT I could never find a pair of men's pants that fit me right. It would either be too tight around the butt or too loose around the waist so I would need a belt.
The first pair of women's jeans I started wearing regularly, size 8 Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda jeans, fit PERFECT. I since shifted to a size 6 which is nice too.
Shirts never really fit right either. I wore some baggy dress shirts as a result.Women's tops fitted me well and now with HRT that I have boobs and a concave waist they fit great.
A men's suit also looks ridiculous on me now. I look like one of those old ladies who works at a casino if I wear one.
I shop with my wife for women's clothes for her and wish that I could be shopping for women's clothes for me. However, have been able to shop with her for some matching women's plain pajamas and nightshirts (gowns). We have mostly tried them on in the men's fitting rooms, but a couple times in the women's fitting room when it was unattended and not crowded. It is a great feeling and I wish it could be more often and for other clothing items.
I've always loved it. Like I said before, I now just consider them clothes and not "womens clothes" if that makes any sense. Since I became passible and full time, it now even makes more sense for me to enjoy shopping, which is what i'm going to do later today! :icon_chick:
Quote from: teresita on June 02, 2015, 10:43:38 PM
It seems as if I am the ONLY one who hates, hates, hates shopping for clothes and shoes. Why? The reason, is pretty obvious. Women's clothes were made for women born with women bone structures. Now, someone will say that women come in all different sizes, shapes and colors, but there is a range, which is a feminine range. No matter how thin some of us become, we just have a different bone structure. So, shopping for clothes is the most horrible experience for me. I seem to be the only one, though. My therapist was shocked because she says that women love clothes, fashion, whereas I hate it. I would prefer to work over time, to clean my house, to vacuum the floor, but not to go shopping.
When the summer comes, it's even worse. At least, during the winter, you can camouflage what mother nature did. When the summer comes: forget it.
Did I say how much I hate shopping for clothes?
Hating shopping is just a symptom of the real problem, you hate yourself. It's pretty obvious from your posts on the first page of this thread.
I also noticed some other things going on with you between the lines but unless you honestly want some point blank feedback/insight/advice and are honestly ready or able to receive it, I'll just keep my mouth shut. Learned that lesson before. Not everyone is ready for self reflection and truth on an open forum.
If you are, or think you are, I'd love to honestly give you some helpful feedback. But be warned, I'm very cut to the chase in my responses and you might not be ready for such blunt honesty. You have to genuinely understand I'm trying to help not hurt, but sometimes we need to hear what we don't want to hear to help ourselves and change into a more positive direction.
I'm that type of person.
Quote from: Christine Eryn on June 06, 2015, 08:43:14 AM
I've always loved it. Like I said before, I now just consider them clothes and not "womens clothes" if that makes any sense. Since I became passible and full time, it now even makes more sense for me to enjoy shopping, which is what i'm going to do later today! :icon_chick:
Well I also consider them just "clothes."
This week I had to pack for an overnight stay. I packed my bag and then afterwards realized, wow, I'm packing a dress, top, jeans, panties and a bra, exclusively, and no men's clothes and it's no big deal.
I think you're wrong, pony. Hating shopping isn't about hating oneself. It's hating how society assumes what we are or what we should be. Shopping for female clothing (or clothing in general) was (and still is) a chore. Women's clothing are all about showing off tits and ass. It's all about form over function and it's ridiculous. Society pressures women "this is what you should wear to look cute/beautiful even if you disagree". Not to mention the bs sizing. What a small is in one store is petite in another. What is a 2? What does that mean?
Shopping for men's clothing while easier on the sizing front (most times they use ACTUAL MEASUREMENTS) nothing fits and thus fall in to the "this is what men are" definition set by society though i have seen FAR more variety on the men's side in terms of sizing.
I wholeheartedly believe that if there was a clothing line that heard the needs of the trans community and made alterations to how our body structure is, a lot more people would be happier.
So, no. This isn't about hating yourself and it's incredibly rude to assert that.
Quote from: mmmmm on June 03, 2015, 09:36:10 AM
As for the face, hormones do almost nothing... other than little rounder chin and more fat on cheeks (which is often correlated with little weight gain). Anyone prepared to prove me wrong, please present a before and after photo, without make-up, same light conditions, same facial expression, same or similar hairstyle... and you will see the same face. The real changes are improved make-up skills, finding out what hairstyle or wig works for them, which shape of eyebrows work for them, improved skin quality mostly due to using proper skin care regimen, compared to nothing before and destroyed skin because of daily shaving... While hormones can't do much, a surgical facial feminization can be pretty magical, and dermatologist can be a saviour for those who shaved their faces for 20 or 30 years. The same is with the body... a surgery can change and improve where hormones couldn't do enough by themselves. There weren't much chances available even 10 years ago, but you have some seriously talented surgeons today who mastered lipo transfer and can do some really amazing things with it. For a very reasonable cost...
....Oh, and yes, I'm addicted to shopping ...
I don't think that is entirely accurate about the face. Hormones don't have a dramatic effect but they have a subtle one. I almost never wear makeup yet my face from 6 months ago is different. It's not dramatic and you can see the same person but I'm definitely different. I used to think it was my eyebrows but I let them grow back and I look different to 6 months ago. Facial hair? Nope. Even though I've had laser I do have a shadow. It's going away slowly with each treatment but it's there. Head hair? Nope. Pull it back or wear a hat and I look different to 6 months ago.
The virtual FFS site does have some explanations such as reduced muscle mass around the mouth, and reduced/atrophied chewing muscles.
But the effect definitely isn't as dramatic as FFS, but to say it's "almost nothing" is inaccurate.
Quote from: iKate on June 07, 2015, 11:57:48 AM
I don't think that is entirely accurate about the face. Hormones don't have a dramatic effect but they have a subtle one. I almost never wear makeup yet my face from 6 months ago is different. It's not dramatic and you can see the same person but I'm definitely different. I used to think it was my eyebrows but I let them grow back and I look different to 6 months ago. Facial hair? Nope. Even though I've had laser I do have a shadow. It's going away slowly with each treatment but it's there. Head hair? Nope. Pull it back or wear a hat and I look different to 6 months ago.
The virtual FFS site does have some explanations such as reduced muscle mass around the mouth, and reduced/atrophied chewing muscles.
But the effect definitely isn't as dramatic as FFS, but to say it's "almost nothing" is inaccurate.
Fuller cheeks, rounder chin and overall little more smooth appearance because of different fat deposition, count as "almost nothing". Lets make an experiment and take someone who is genetically male, 40 years old average looking, and give them traditional HRT, without them knowing (that wouldn't be a nice thing to do... but it would be for our important scientific purpose!). And then wait and see, 5 years for example or how long does it take before people will start to see him as a woman. It might take a while, but considering average genetic male has a fairly masculine facial structure, it probably won't happen, unless he would choose to have laser hair removal/electrolyis, take care of skin daily, grow-out hair with appropriate style, learn to use make-up, start to dress somewhat accordingly to what we would expect a woman of their age to dress, have VFS and voice training, etc... and even then it might not be enough for someone who has fairly masculine facial features, and they might need to have FFS in order to be read as cis-female in all everyday interactions. I still say hormones helped, but they did almost nothing in relation to everything else that was needed to shift appearance from looking cis-male to looking cis-female.
It is unknown whether a person (/test subject) in question would hated shopping for women's clothes.
I don't know, I'm 63 years old and on HRT 19 months. I think my face has changed quite a bit for a test subject plus I love shopping for clothes.
That plus the virtual FFS people know what they're talking about based on actual research, not casual observation.
Of course, actual changes are minor but they add up. FFS is dramatic of course because you're taking a saw to your facial bones but even hormones can make the face shape shift significantly. It's definitely not "almost nothing."
Please present a prove of that "significant" changes! Same angles, NO make-up, same light conditions, same facial expression, same or similar hairstyle... We can understand and keep in mind the hair-removal related difference and weight loss/gain difference, and even those of us observers who never did any actual research about facial features, soft tissue, bone structure, and facial surgery, can try our best to ignore the eyebrow plucking difference. I really want to see a case where hormones significantly changed someones face. Because I have NEVER seen one case of such, apart from what Emily proved last day, where hormones quite significantly effected her face because she had some serious facial muscles before.
Wow, seriously, wow. Locked again. :police:
And this is apparently why we can't have nice things.