Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: kaidenhendricks89 on June 09, 2015, 09:03:45 AM

Title: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: kaidenhendricks89 on June 09, 2015, 09:03:45 AM
So today is the big day!  I'm out everywhere in my life except at work. This afternoon they are holding a large meeting to announce my transition to my coworkers and I've been shaking with anxiety since the drive in this morning! A few close coworkers that I have a friendship with already know so I know I have support its everyone else finding out that I'm worried about. Working in a very male dominated welding shop with some old school crotchety welders has me worried. They've never given me any grief for being a female,  and no one cared when I came out as a lesbian but this is different ... being a lesbian in a welding shop is almost a norm...coming out as a trans man is a whole new ball game.   I keep telling myself "those who matter won't care and those who care don't matter" but it's not really helping at this point. . . Not sure what I'm asking for here, maybe just some of you can relate to this feeling and share how things worked out for you? 
Title: Re: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: suzifrommd on June 09, 2015, 09:09:11 AM
Worked out amazingly for me. It's so great being myself at work. A couple of coworkers were a little cold to me, but everyone else has been accepting and happily uses my new name and pronouns.

Good luck Kaiden. I'm betting it goes better than you imagine.
Title: Re: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: kaidenhendricks89 on June 09, 2015, 10:51:11 AM
Quote from: suzifrommd on June 09, 2015, 09:09:11 AM
Worked out amazingly for me. It's so great being myself at work. A couple of coworkers were a little cold to me, but everyone else has been accepting and happily uses my new name and pronouns.

Good luck Kaiden. I'm betting it goes better than you imagine.
Glad to hear it worked out amazing for you!  If the worst that happens is a few people are a little cold to me I can deal with that,  that's their problem not mine. I do keep telling myself that I'm making it worse in my head than what is actually going to happen. . . I just can't wait for it to be over so I can breathe again! And so I can finally be Kaiden all the time, that I'm really looking forward to!
Title: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: Eva Marie on June 09, 2015, 01:42:56 PM
My experience was the same as Suzis - it went very well and I am just one of the women now. Not much misgendering or use of the dead name and everyone has been very nice. If people have a problem with me I don't know about it.
Title: Re: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: kaidenhendricks89 on June 09, 2015, 01:46:19 PM
That's awesome to hear!  I hope it goes that way for me too. . . I mean I'm already treated like one of the guys so I hope things just stay the way they are just with a new name and pronouns
Title: Re: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: ainsley on June 09, 2015, 03:18:14 PM
Yea, my experience is similar to the others: much ado about nothing, really.  No one reacted badly and work went on.  I hope yours go the same!
Title: Re: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: jessical on June 09, 2015, 05:05:22 PM
I wish you luck :)

I am sure it will go well.  It sounds like things were planned out well with a meeting setup.  I came out at work in April, and it went very well.  Like you I was very worked up about the whole thing before, but it turned out to be a non-issue.
Title: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: iKate on June 09, 2015, 06:11:44 PM
Full time at work is next week for me. Actually I'm kind of half presenting at work already and people notice some stuff.

You girls get a meeting? All I get is an email and a new ID. :)

Irony is that I'm off HRT now and going FT at work.
Title: Re: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: Katiepie on June 10, 2015, 01:53:34 AM
My workplace was my first out that I was trans as I told my manager "if I wear a skirt to work, and change my name to Kate, would that be okay?" My manager just laughed and simply said that was fine.

I probably won't wear a skirt to work for a while, but I do need to get more girly work clothes in general, as my pants generally weigh on my hips and either pinch or put a lot of pressure on my hips if I don't strap my belt on the tightest fit. Most of everyone I work with is rather supportive, not quite sure what district management will say, but I'm sure they'll be okay, and especially when I get the chance for therapy and eventual hrt, and talking to hr about all of it, the transition will be easier.
I know one of my subordinates are in a denial state, but she'll come around.

Let's all climb aboard the choo choo train to happiness
Kate♄
Title: Re: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: kaidenhendricks89 on June 10, 2015, 08:58:52 AM
Thank you everyone for your support yesterday!  Everything went well better than I expected ... although I think I was making things worse in my head ... the guys (and the few ladies I work with) are already using my male name now and I have received many compliments on being brave enough to do this ... it's so freeing not having to hide my secret and I can just live as the man I should have been born as :)
Title: Re: Coming out at work - Anxiety through the roof!
Post by: Starfire on June 10, 2015, 09:16:19 AM
Yay!!  I'm glad things went better than expected.

I went through the same worries and anxiety when first coming out at work but they were unfounded and I have not really noticed people treating me any differently.