So, hello all (again)
Since the last time i've been here, i've managed to tell both my parents(but not my sister, also don't want to, sorta), and they've agreed to go to a GP about a refferal :D
But one problem... they still use 'he' and my boy name for me, but everytime I go to correct them, I can't. I want to, but each time I get scared at making them feel guilty about it. Any advice?
You explain how you feel and nicely ask if they would. Hugs
Mariah
If you are a good writer, you can always try writing them a letter that explains it perfectly.
I always liked letters because I could express my point entirely from start to finish, without being interrupted. Most of all, it allowed me to maintain a degree of calmness that isn't always possible in face to face conversation.
The only thing I found awkward about letters is the handoff.
Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there in case you might think it could work for you too :)
Good luck. I'm sure if you remain calm and polite about it they will have no choice but to consider changing their ways even if just slightly. If you come at them like a victim, they may not be so responsive. All depends on your relationship with your parents, which you know the most about!
Can you pray for the courage to say what needs to be said?
I find that helps. I'm not religious so I don't pray to god, instead to my inner strength. It seems to work just as well.
I used to practice in front of a mirror and visualize a conversation with them. It helped build my confidence back up and so it wasn't difficult anymore to correct them or my friends.
Make a misgender jar.
My parents were notoriously bad about using bad words at home, so we started using a jar where I'd get a quarter every time one of them said a bad word in front of me. Use some positive reinforcement like the ideas listed above, and if they aren't getting it, transition to charging a quarter every time someone hits you with the wrong pronouns.
What I would do is have a sit-down talk with your parents and tell how their actions make you feel. If they still do it just correct them on the spot or pull them aside and correct them as well as tell them how their actions are making you feel bad and that their behavior is unacceptable
It'll take a while for them to get used to the correct pronouns. I remember my mum and dad both messed up lots but my mum found it easier and now she corrects my dad for me. Whenever they messed up and said the wrong pronoun I would say the correct pronoun and then answer them. Or just ignore them until they realised I wouldn't answer until they used the correct pronoun. I also sent them on the Internet researching about trans people and that got my mum using the right pronouns because she got it.
I gave up on my parents. I don't even want them as part of my life because they don't accept me. Isn't that funny? The transgendered running away instead of the cisgendered?
Be carful what you say. I just pretend I hear the opposite. It's not healthy.
Having the wrong name use around me always tweets a nerve with me and it doesn't happen any more but I am thankful that I didn't lose anyone or get kicked out of the house so I did my best to cut them some slack. When you start moving into the new role it will become more obvious to them that the old name and gender are not appropriate but there will still be a mistake from time to time. It is sad but you are the one who is hurting the most but yet you have to be the strongest.
Congratulations on getting connected to medical help as that will be the real start of you journey.
Try explaining to them how it hurts you.