So basically our department has never really dealt with this before.
Does anyone have a sample template they would use to tell people why I'm dressed this way and what pronouns to use? I was thinking something like this:
From: Boss
To: Department
Subject: old name/iKate's gender transition
Team,
Our colleague who we have known as <old name> has recently undergone gender transition and starting today will identify and present as female at work.
Her new name is iKate. She requests that we use feminine pronouns when referring to her, such as she, her and hers.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Sincerely,
Boss
---------------
Is that sufficient?
I think that sounds good. Did your boss ask you what message to put or are you sending that yourself?
Quote from: Jake25 on June 11, 2015, 09:56:01 PM
I think that sounds good. Did your boss ask you what message to put or are you sending that yourself?
He had no clue of what to do. I told him it might be a good idea for him to send a heads up to everyone. He agreed and tasked me with writing it for him.
I am not sending this out myself.
you might consider having it set a date in the near future as opposed..starting today.
This would give workmates a chance to adjust, ask questions etc.
Just a thought tho.
Your boss must be really nice.
I will PM the email that I used. It is somewhat specific, so I don't want to post it, but I will PM the message to you. In my case I wanted someone high up to send the email as a large group of people interact with me. In my case the was the Sr. Director.
Quote from: Jake25 on June 11, 2015, 10:47:58 PM
Your boss must be really nice.
Haha yeah. He basically lets us roll with it.
Quote from: Marly on June 11, 2015, 10:43:39 PM
you might consider having it set a date in the near future as opposed..starting today.
This would give workmates a chance to adjust, ask questions etc.
Just a thought tho.
I thought of that, but I really don't want too many questions, as I've endured enough from nosy people.
Besides I've come out to the people closest to me already.
But I will ask my therapist today
Quote from: jessical on June 11, 2015, 10:57:57 PM
I will PM the email that I used. It is somewhat specific, so I don't want to post it, but I will PM the message to you. In my case I wanted someone high up to send the email as a large group of people interact with me. In my case the was the Sr. Director.
I like it but may trim it
It would be nice if there was something about the company fully supporting you. I would also drop the 'request' and say what the proper pronouns to use are. Saying it is a request makes it sound optional which it should not be.
My therapist and I discussed the letter and this is what we came up with.
______________________
From: VP of division
To: Department staff
Subject: important team update
Date: Wednesday June 17, 2015
Team,
Our colleague who we have known as <old name> is undergoing gender transition and starting Thursday June 18 will identify and present as female at work.
Her new name is Kate. As of June 18 it would be appropriate that we use feminine pronouns when referring to her, such as she, her and hers.
Kate welcomes your support but personal questions of a medical nature are not appropriate.
I hope you all join me in supporting her in her journey.
Sincerely,
Boss
VP of stuff and other stuff
rest of signature
goes here
------------------------------
So that's what we're going with. HR wanted it short and simple. This is not going to be a big coming out party just a note that I am changing.
I understand your desire of not answering questions but that will kick the grapevine into overdrive. There will be much false information floating around out there that could come back to bite you. My roommate was open about her transition but because of the size of TWA there was no way to dampen the grapevine. In the end it is your decision and you know the people and company far better than I do.
Hi Kate
It sounds like your work environment is a relatively relaxed place. Why don't you write the letter from your point of view, rather than having it come from the boss? IT makes it more personal and relevant. Of course you can refer to the support you will have from the boss and HR, and make sure they're on the email list. I emailed around 150 people in my work ecosystem, having made sure that all key managers knew in advance. People tell me they still keep this email in their inbox, a year later.
Hugs
Julia
Quote from: Dena on June 13, 2015, 10:21:45 AM
I understand your desire of not answering questions but that will kick the grapevine into overdrive. There will be much false information floating around out there that could come back to bite you. My roommate was open about her transition but because of the size of TWA there was no way to dampen the grapevine. In the end it is your decision and you know the people and company far better than I do.
I actually talk more with people over IM than email. I'm not entertaining personal medical questions such as what hormones I'm taking and if I still have my factory installed parts. I will answer stuff like how I'm coping etc
Quote from: Julia-Madrid on June 13, 2015, 10:53:46 AM
Hi Kate
It sounds like your work environment is a relatively relaxed place. Why don't you write the letter from your point of view, rather than having it come from the boss? IT makes it more personal and relevant. Of course you can refer to the support you will have from the boss and HR, and make sure they're on the email list. I emailed around 150 people in my work ecosystem, having made sure that all key managers knew in advance. People tell me they still keep this email in their inbox, a year later.
Hugs
Julia
We use slack, the instant messaging service. I will also pen something personal there and chit chat with people. Email is more used for official stuff.
LOL...are they hiring?
Quote from: Marly on June 13, 2015, 05:58:17 PM
LOL...are they hiring?
We are, but I suspect most people here (trans) don't wanna work here. It's complicated due to what we do.
Soooo an update.
I spoke to my manager and he said that instead of sending out an email he spoke to the entire management team, and the lone woman on the team suggested an in person meeting instead. This is great because I think that it's better to do it this way rather than an email that seems like it's coming from a robot.
I won't be there so they are comfortable asking questions.
Hopefully this will be the basis for any future dealings with trans people. We are very loose and open here (which is surprising for an "old media" company that is really just getting its feet wet in new media). However before me our department has never dealt with someone transitioning on the job.
Either way after this afternoon I'll be out to everyone. What a relief.
Thursday is still my full time date.
I'm so excited and happy.
Sounds like things are going well. Congratulations! Good luck and hugs!
Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk
So very excited and happy for you, congrats and good luck!!
The real nice thing is, people I've told already have been supportive. One of my colleagues even offered me bathroom help.
Thanks everyone here for all the help! It really does mean a lot.
I'll be heading to Korea next week to do my VFS with Dr Kim, so that's another challenge. I did want to go FT here first though so I'm not stuck being unable to speak when I make the switch.
As for people asking too personal and medical questions, I had that in my first draft email, but I removed it and decided if people asked those questions, I would answer it in a general way and not answer the direct personal question. That has worked out well for me. When people ask me if I have had surgery, I just tell them the path to surgery or not doing surgery, and that there is many possible surgeries, but I don't say if I have done GCS or not.
Congrats Kate! I hope it goes real smooth.