Hello everyone. I am a 33 year old combat veteran, married, kids, everything I could want, right? I thought so for a long time. I have had (imo) gender identity issues since i was about 9. i used to try on my sister's clothes, then my moms when i got older. i remember many times standing in the bathroom with bra and panties on wondering and wishing for it to be more than fantasy. Sadly this was something I couldn't get advice from my parents on as they were deeply religious (I am too but have different views on something). I always just figured something was messed up inside and that if i ignored it or just kept it secret, i would be alright. i joined the national guard at 17 thinking it would make me who i am supposed to be. it succeeded in changing me but not on the issues i wanted it to. i spent 13 years serving my country, bled for it, went through two unhappy marriages, had my first child and much more. always knowing in the back of my mind that i was just fooling myself. my brother and sister used to tease me saying i was going to be the one of the three of us that came out gay. guess i didn't hide things nearly as well as i thought or they just picked up on subtlety. i have had maybe 5 true male friends my whole life. i get along with most everyone but the majority of my closest friends have always been female. i just felt more in common with them then with guys. my current wife and i have been together for 10 years now (married for 2) and have 3 wonderful boys. and as much as i love my wife, i just don't feel complete. i just recently (about a week ago if that) decided to do something about it. a coworker of mine, who is mid transition F2M, was actually my inspiration to start on what could be a long, difficult road that has a great reward waiting for me at the end. i guess i should stop rambling as this is much longer than i intended it to be.
Hi Becca, welcome to Susan's. First off thank you for serving. It's wonderful that your inspired by a coworker to move forward with your journey in regards to your gender identity. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
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Hi Becca...
Welcome to Susan's....
Your story is not uncommon, especially about feeling more comfortable in female friend circles and I also got all the little jibs from those close to you testing your sexuality and like you, and many, I too hid it all for so many years.
And no your not Rambling on, it takes courage to post your innermost feelings. We here are a big family that's here to hear you, help you and give you support and guidance as you need.
Welcome and look forward to seeing you about..
L Katy :-*
Hello and welcome :)
You could have a look here and the link there for a few thoughts that might help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,188309.msg1674885.html#msg1674885
I'd say listen to your feeling within...
what you feel would bring you joy...
you're not the only one... quite a few people try to fulfill gender roles and sometimes even overdo it until they find out its not them...
its a process but many others have done this and succeeded...
I'd say take the time you need but keep at it...
hugs
Hi Becca :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's.
Welcome to Susan's place. Thank you for your service to our country. My roommate had a story much like your but she waited until about age 50 to deal with her problem. You are correct about there being work but once you see it's possible to reach the goal it will be worth it. I see a complication and that is your wife. Please work with her as soon as possible because I have been posting on another thread where the spouse learned about the transition after everybody else knew. Sometimes couples remain together through the transition and sometimes not. But whatever the outcome I hope you both find happiness. I would be glad to help you with any questions I can answer.
Hi Becca. Major respect for your service record, and thank you for your suffering in silence in the name of our freedoms. Now, like others have said, don't wait until you are 50 to deal with this. I made that mistake, and I have paid for it by suffering debilitating panic attacks for the past ten years.
Fortunately I look a lot younger than my true age, and there is still time for me to live as my true self. You need to do the same. Your life is your own, and you need to live it in the best way possible for you.
Hope to see you around here,
Carly
Thank you everyone for warm welcome. It brightens my soul knowing there are others that welcome me as the true me without judgement.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk
What do you mean? We have judged you from your post and we found you to be one of us ;) Everybody is welcome here We have GGs here for beauty ideas, adults may come here for advice on dealing with their children and the lifestyles are varied all over the spectrum. The only ones not welcome are the ones who would bring harm to the community but the mods are very good at dealing with that.